the purina diet

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MitchellKing
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Location: Missoula Montana
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the purina diet

Post by MitchellKing » Thu Sep 25, 2008 2:22 am

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. ...

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dai479
Posts: 23
Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2008 11:11 pm

Hahahaha!!!

Post by dai479 » Mon Sep 29, 2008 12:31 am

Crazy!!!

I'll have to remember that story to use on some unsuspecting Walmarter in the future!! :-)

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navin
Posts: 414
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 12:23 pm
Location: Kentucky

Post by navin » Tue Sep 30, 2008 12:19 am

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
Not sure I'd consider that a bad thing... :)
Before criticizing someone, you should try walking a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.

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