Everyday Systems

oolala53

Ginger, something that some people do is have a separate habitcal for small fails, so that they actually get a green on days that they fail on Vanilla but don't turn it into WTH. The rest of the days are blank, I think.

oolala53

Thanks, Linda. Back to it yesterday. The worst is over and I have no good excuse anymore, if work stress was a good excuse in the first place. Conveniently, I didn't really want the foods I had been "using." I did stop at Costco for yogurt and had a couple of samples. (There weren't many; I was a li...

oolala53

I think that random roving is not odd, if odd means unusual. It's pretty pervasive in our culture and one of the things that No S helps quash. For me it is way more annoying than true hunger, I guess because eating doesn't really take care of it. Csikszentmihalyi, researcher on "optimal experiences"...

oolala53

Maybe?

https://everydaysystems.com/bb/search.p ... r=Yacskkol

Six messages that sound canned.

oolala53

I have read a fair amount on the Blue Zones, areas in the world in which a significant percentage of the people live to 100. It's not largely advertised but I found one site that told about the average calorie intake of the citizens. Hold on to your hats: the average for women was 900-1500 calories ...

oolala53

Not that my approval means anything, but I think this is progress. I certainly think we should eat food we enjoy, but I found I got too attached to having a "great" eating experience every time. A health educator years ago said to eat when we have the keenest desire for the plainest food. It doesn't...

oolala53

P.S. I take a med that helps for sleep. Last night, I was disappointed when I woke around 3 and knew I wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep. I got online until I decided to wash my hair. How could the med work for so few hours? Then when I later went in the kitchen, I saw the two tabs sittin...

oolala53

I've let myself go cuckoo eating this week and darn if I haven't found that it actually has helped to overeat in response to stress. But today is the final day I will have a glut of meetings that I feel wrenched over prepping for. BTW I'm STILL waiting for information from two colleagues that I need...

oolala53

I thought I was reading my own post, except for the art show. And I'm not as down on myself for all of it as I have been.

Hang in there! You deserve your own compassion. Even the Buddha said so...

oolala53

Actually, it's mostly the urban French women who eat like that. The author herself was someone who would eat a couple of bites of something and stop if it wasn't perfect, and then not replace it with anything else. A bit "ideal" for me. Short women who have been overweight do have their work cut out...

oolala53

Just do your best. I'm sure you're way better off than before you started, even with some failures. One thing that has worked for me when I've gone through times of wanting to eat at night is to promise myself that I can pull out all the stops at breakfast the next day if I just wait. I never wanted...

oolala53

No matter what is said about eating like a king at breakfast and a pauper at dinner, I just think in our culture, it doesn't work because savoring and enjoying the food, especially with others, is part of the charm, as it is in traditional,slim cultures. I have to be at work at 7. There's no way I'm...

oolala53

So the fear is not from the effects the food might have on your reflux? Which would be legitimate. I have to admit that I've gotten to the point at which I am not comfortable with the idea of eating just anything at my meals. I actually never did eat willy nilly, but I felt like it should be okay if...

oolala53

Brunch and dinner makes sense to me for a lot of people. I might be one of them after I retire.

oolala53

Is it dark at 6:30there? (That's after I leave for work.) I know everyone hates when the time changes and it gets dark earlier, but I hate this dark in the morning when I have to be on my way. I actually like being up early but I don't like having to go to work in the dark. Now, leaving on a trip, o...

oolala53

Yeah, the unstructured time is why the S days are on the weekends. But it's still workable, if Fridays are worth it to you. Could you make the early lunch a brunch (no breakfast) and have a routine break/snack in the afternoon, then dinner whenever? Couch time is definitely part of a fair number of ...

oolala53

Fingers crossed here.

oolala53

Good for you! Sometimes it helps to back off for awhile and get convinced again that it's worth another circling the airport. I also made a conscious decision early on to eat fewer servings of starches than I had been. I think of it more like pretending I come from a culture that eats that way and I...

oolala53

Two saltines is a definite improvement!

Maybe put a notification on your phone or something to remind you at a certain time after dinner to come back and read your 10/10 5 a.m. post. (It was 5 am here; maybe it was 8 am for you.)

oolala53

Those spam messages are sometimes entertaining.

oolala53

If you're doing things that aren't part of your plans, then it's hard to say they haven't worked. I don't think any plan you've tried advocates eating to stuffed. (Fast 5 allows it, but that's predicated on keeping exactly to the plan for an extended period of time. Even then, it isn't foolproof.) W...

oolala53

Congrats on your compliance record! You keep eating because most humans would keep eating when there's food there. Wansink says if you see it, you eat it. You're normal! (Sure, there are skinny people who leave food, but he says even they, when served more, eat more.) I hear ya about the dessert pla...

oolala53

I'll let Kathleen decide.

oolala53

Congrats! Must be a lot of cute moments. Couldn't you fix a teeny plate of food for your baby so she doesn't pick from yours? Then again, she can't be taking that much, can she? If you don't want to give her a plate (plastic), what about just putting a couple of extra spoonfuls of something you thin...

oolala53

How about weighing after three weeks of total compliance? Then weigh for one week straight and average it.

Weighing will be your reward for the REAL target habit.

oolala53

Wouldn't it be better to add a plate on the weekend than to try to force yourself to stick to two and then "blow it" ? Hunger is not the only reason to eat every time. Or practice failing and NOT feeling like a failure. Research shows that people who told themselves, oh everyone makes mistakes, I'll...

oolala53

You surely do, and with all the bennies that author said come with it!

oolala53

Oh, good golly, no, on S days it's only Snacks and Sweets with others. I have whole S days go by alone, so I'd be pretty much fasting if I held out for eating only with others! I was just being too indiscriminate on S's plus not really getting very much enjoyment from them to boot. And I was shortch...

oolala53

I didn't think you were going the eat all you want route at all. I can't see you doing that after all you've accomplished on No S. It's ultimately not as enjoyable as moderation. I was trying to applaud you for seeing what a great support it is to have an enjoyable way to moderate (v) eating in the ...

oolala53

woot woot!

oolala53

Do you mean the weight loss is since 2010? Or just since your restart? May I ask what percentage of your starting weight that was?

oolala53

THAT is a very interesting insight. I never felt after age ten that I could eat whatever I wanted so I never associated it with youth. I'm kind of that way about keeping my long hair, though that is more about a concept of femininity that I have for myself but not for others. I'll keep any discussio...

oolala53

By the end of the day on Thursday. That's why it's for only a week. Friday will be back to Vanilla business. I'm keeping to my mod for S days and have to admit it's a little hard. I'm used to being able to pick but I know from experience that it's not ultimately very satisfying. I wanted to eat a co...

oolala53

Interesting link. I actually often felt like I could still do stuff when I was heavier but the truth for me was that it was way overeating that got me there. It's unfortunate (to some degree) that once the fat is there, it can take some concerted effort to get some of it gone, if that's the goal. Th...

oolala53

Yet it doesn't seem fair to use the emoji of exasperation for sick eating. Unless sickness is just an excuse, but that takes mental energy to figure out. Aack.

oolala53

Hmm, what do you think now about the concept of "needing" a snack watching TV on the couch. Does this come up on weekday N days? It's fascinating how paired/connected things can be. From snack food to snack drink. Aren't we lucky how easy Big Food has made it? :wink: But good job earlier having wine...

oolala53

Of course. I don't think any population gets away with eating more than they burn, though people who've never gained and then lost can usually eat more without gaining. I've read some sites that claim to tell what the real eating habits of the people of certain countries are. I was surprised to read...

oolala53

Gingerpie, it seems the answer is right in your post.You said you learned that if you eat when you get home, you'll be sorry. When it becomes clear that you are really tired of the regret from the evening snack, you'll start getting the strength to hold out. (Though I honestly think that antsy "jone...

oolala53

Not sure what you mean by hand (I didn't read all the posts). I think of fist-sized portions. 9-12 of dense foods (may include some cheese, nuts, added "thumb" of fat) but plus several fists of freggies distributed, more so at lunch and dinner. I'm definitely biased against having a weight loss goal...

oolala53

Regarding the career thing: a friend who had her MFCC and whose father had died had a mom who was left very comfortable financially. She told my friend all the time that she thought her career sounded so interesting. Finally, my friend said, "Mom, in the time you've been saying that, you could have ...

oolala53

Exactly. At some point, if the freedom becomes less fun in the face of the costs than the pleasure it supplies, the tide can turn. People give up because it doesn't seem worth the trade or they resent it and don't feel they should have to or whatever. That's their call. And honestly, if it meant cou...

oolala53

It's only on S days. It was because I was still permasnacking, and not really enjoying it but not able to be judicious about it ad hoc. N day strategies are the standard. That being said, and don't freak out, but I am declaring myself to be on hiatus from Vanilla or any N day limits until after next...

oolala53

MY sincere apologies if this is wrong, but all the posts of this member had a link to nothing relevant to the posts s/he admired.

https://everydaysystems.com/bb/profile. ... le&u=10598

oolala53

Tough circumstances. I don't claim never to succumb. Only you can say if it's worth reinforcing the habit of "I think I deserve it," a common way the brain gets people to eat more. You definitely do DESERVE to have some release at the end of tough days. I gently suggest you consider whether you also...

oolala53

Just to say, trading weekdays from week to week with a weekend day as an S day is not official No S strategy. It invites bargaining, which is cognitively expensive and not as habit friendly as a steady weekly strategy. Of course, there is no police here-except your own human predilections.

oolala53

tx! found tote. kinda caught up on sleep, but the night is young. There will be a fair amount of pressure until prep is done for five more meetings and they are held next Tuesday.

Moderate fail today. Ah, me.

Onwards.

oolala53

It seems there are varying results from the strategy. I know of one other person it had that freeing effect on, and that was a guy who had earlier been slim and then ballooned, though never on sweets. As he ate without guilt, his weight drifted down. I think it took a couple of years to lose 60 lbs....

oolala53

So glad for you.

oolala53

I should have remembered because it's close to mine. Warmest wishes!

oolala53

Unrelated to food: Woke up around 2:30. Realized after I left work that I did not know where I left a small tote with a bunch of student papers, which I had spent time already printing out from Google docs. They are all supposed to be read and graded by tomorrow. And and and a bunch of work that all...

oolala53

I bend the rules (really, almost snap them) by putting cocoa powder in my coffee and adding stevia. It's equivalent in sweetness to more than a teaspoon of sugar, which is not canonical. But drinking that doesn't lead to more and more, unlike what eating a small amount of chocolate can be. I shouldn...

oolala53

Saw your post about OO. If it stopped your bingeing, did you then permasnack? You said you gained 70 lbs. Also, when you said you could have any food around, did you mean just allow it in a way you hadn't? That you could eat it if it was around without too much concern or thinking you shouldn't? Not...

oolala53

In the mid-90's, I read a book called Neanderthin about a man who had had rheumatoid arthritis from his early 20's and who was diagnosed with diabetes in his early 30's. He could not face taking meds the rest of his life, so researched and went Paleo. I don't think he knew about the Eads, who wrote ...

oolala53

I think it's a sign of the middle class and lower that there is so much attention on what and how much people eat rather than on the quality and deliciousness of the food without a need to overeat it. (Those are certainly my legacy.) Or maybe it's just been part of the diet culture for so long. I fi...

oolala53

At least you get to tumble into a new bed for rest to recover from the day.

oolala53

Bit by bit, new normals.

oolala53

Oh I get it. Yes, it's important to keep the makings of meals on hand. It's different from European slim countries who may live in areas where they can shop almost daily. I don't cook many dinners fresh. I have the building blocks mostly in the freezer and fridge, supplemented with pantry sauces. I ...

oolala53

Three days is great! Just about EVERYONE gets thrown by a change in routine at first, and it will probably always be more of an effort if routine has to change constantly, but just keep widening the parameters of what is doable over time, and that means months or even longer, not days and weeks. Kee...

oolala53

Remember that Wansink has found over and over, even for thin people, that the more food people have access to, the more they eat. Most people in history have been slim because there has been some food scarcity, either in the present or anticipated. They had to be judicious with the supplies. I know ...

oolala53

Those are worthy guidelines to try out. Another month will give you some good feedback, I'm sure. I've read that running can somewhat impair the ability to build muscle but resistance exercise can improve running, so it sounds worth doing. You've got a pretty rounded activity plan. Yay for October!

oolala53

That pear sponge pudding may have been the size it's supposed to be. Sounds intriguing. I think there's power in describing things accurately. You absolutely could have resisted, but decided not to and can live with it, at least until the next time you have a chance to choose. You didn't need comfor...

oolala53

You've been at this for 11 years. Maybe you've been TOO patient. There is nearly NOBODY who loses weight without weaning themselves off eating just because they want to or because it's a social situation or they're stressed, or tired, etc. Slim people rarely change their eating for these things, and...

oolala53

Humans have a default for preparing for "danger," which we moderns rarely face in reality. I, too, need to remind myself not to suffer prematurely! It only helps when it can lead to an action that will really make a difference later, right? No matter what, you'll probably have a nice bed that will b...

oolala53

The heart is great which shows moderation in the midst of prosperity.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

oolala53

Yay for you! Sorry about sciatica. Ok to do some arm and trunk stuff, even if it's not 14 minutes, no? Does it make it worse to sit and do movements?

oolala53

SS, don't forget that you can have a beverage for those witching afternoon hours. Are you not a coffee drinker? Decaf, sometimes with a tablespoon of cocoa, and some creamer of choice got me through many a meal gap without it leading to having more and more, which often happens with chewing. Any com...

oolala53

Did you make it? Honestly, I might have allowed myself something I might have had on my plate along with the fried noodles and called it virtual plating if I had been legitimately hungry later, whatever I usually eat more of (starch, protein, freggies). (That doesn't happen to me very often anymore,...

oolala53

Out of curiosity, why can't you eat the taco shell? If you can bake a cake without eating any batter, you're way ahead of me. It sounds as weird to me as not eating chocolate five days a week did in the beginning. But I don't have any reasons to face it down, and it's a lot riskier. But I guess peop...

oolala53

Merry seems to always know what to do about site stuff! I'm such a cheapskate that I regard nearly any takeout meal as two servings, except for the salad. I'm also usually thinking how good and easy it will be for lunch the next day. I don't see Boston Markets around anymore. Which state do you live...

oolala53

Did you post on the Testimonial thread? I think it's so useful when new people take a look and see recent entries.

oolala53

I humbly suggest you do not weigh until you have several compliant days. Of course, you could still be disappointed. Then the test will be if the resentment eating starts.

Oh, if someone could give us a drug that made us forget our whole history with this issue!

oolala53

First, so sorry to hear your son had to go through all that. And not just him, your whole family. I'm happy to hear that things are on the mend. Regarding No S, hey, either you're ready for a big test or you're not and there's no shame in it. Just get back on the horse as soon as you can with any ga...

oolala53

I have to admit, I almost never leave food on my plate. Good for you! It's worth it to stick out the following overnight fast. So many good things from that!

oolala53

I'm on meds, too, and would be ecstatic if Ambien got me 8 hours of sleep.

Working sure gets in the way of a lot of stuff. If I could just go back to bed after a night of being awake and not have to be anywhere in the morning, life would be so different! 'Course I'd be living in a hovel...

oolala53

Yikes, what wine will do! I can barely take anyone for three days, never mind a week. And when you turn half a century! :wink: Not sure you can get rid of those body thoughts. The culture is so strong on it! They sure come up for me, but I try to let them pass or answer them back. Maybe more wine at...

oolala53

I'll go out on a limb and say Reinhard would NEVER slap food out of anyone's hand. So you ARE doing it yourself. Bravo! (I doubt he even talks about No S or overeating to anyone but us.) Now you'll have to follow through on not eating sweets at work. Eventually, they'll likely stop offering, but if ...

oolala53

Brilliant!

oolala53

Health reasons or negative reactions are a perfect reason to restrict certain foods. Only you can know if it's worth the symptoms. If I were sure certain foods are responsible for some of my new aches and pains or for my mood issues, I'd nix them tomorrow. But none are for sure and they do involve s...

oolala53

There's no guarantee any one individual will experience No S the same as another, but this is a common sentiment on the board. Such a great gift!

oolala53

No need to be embarrassed. It's hard to be woman in this culture and not be infected with the beauty virus. But not worthy of despair. It's not like you got caught embezzling millions. I think those people actually handle it better than a woman gaining five pounds. Ironchef, I'd take that deal any d...

oolala53

Good job on not taking seconds. (Was the food put away? That helps me. I keep my grains and even a fair amount of my protein frozen. Fast to heat for a meal, but too much trouble to heat when I've already sat down and eaten. Yeah, I don't cook dinner fresh very often.) Oh, how many of us wish we cou...

oolala53

Isn't it amazing that people can think you're "dieting" because you don't eat cake? Actually, you are. You're changing your diet and it doesn't include sweets as often as it used to. You don't have to call it a red; you do get two extra S days a month. But I would opt for one of those only if I real...

oolala53

Where did you get the recipe for the Moroccan stew? tx

oolala53

So glad to hear you didn't push it. It just doesn't make sense to do something for health and vitality and to have it damage you! At least to me. Congratulations on weight lost so far. You've already beat some odds. (The longer you maintain the loss, the better your odds are of...maintaining even lo...

oolala53

As Time goes on, keeping to your end days will be your default when stressed. You get to find out the day is better without the over eating.

oolala53

May, that's fantastic news! Thanks for updating us. Maybe you could post in Testimonials?

oolala53

A lot of foods will blend into soup pretty well, even rice (as your whole grain) if you have some broth around.

oolala53

I was at my lowest without really trying last in high school. I was not officailly overweight but thicker than many of the girls. I got to that same weight after two years on No S, which represented about a 20% loss. The fact that in the last year and half I've lost another 5% is a bit of a fluke, a...

oolala53

You're doing great, really getting the basics down.

oolala53

Read your lists! Over and over every day! When the urges come, think, "THIS is the moment I need to hold out for my next meal. It's the best way to subdue my overeating habit. It's uncomfortable, but in the end, it's only a lot of sensations in my body that mean no harm. I can get past this and will...

oolala53

One member long ago said when she was offered some food at work one day, she absentmindedly said, "No, thanks, it's Tuesday." It made sense in her mind, but probably sounded pretty weird. I wonder what it would be like to live in a culture where no one ever tried to get you to eat except at meal tim...

oolala53

I suggest instead of thinking of tea drinking as a way to fill up when hungry, regard it as a time-honored way to take a little break. PS, try to distinguish between being hungry and just needing a fix out of habit. I don't actually have the same symptoms. It's OK to have tea in either case, but I t...

oolala53

Bon voyage!

oolala53

Step by step.

oolala53

Alcohol before noon is probably never a good idea :shock: Excessive eating in addition to a stressful day just adds extra stress, it does nothing at all to relieve stress. Did you drink the booze out of a Coke bottle to hide it from the kids? "No, no, you can't have a sip, Honey; this is Mommy's Co...

oolala53

It's okay to cry. A few people might be uncomfortable, but that's on them. Everyone else will understand.

oolala53

I haven't found that hard days completely disappear. They can surprise you, but it's just another learning curve. Whatever you wanted, you can enjoy it tomorrow, IF it's still so important.

oolala53

I used to be able to get in a much longer workout in the mornings but my sleep has been so spotty for years that I too will take those extra minutes in the morning if I can get them.

oolala53

Could it be that you're afraid it will open the floodgates? Would that be so terrible? Big hugs.

oolala53

I've used my scale or a measuring cup as a "serving" spoon. (I eat alone most of the time, so.) It's not forbidden by any means. If that's sustainable for you, mazel tov. (But it's good to get at least a little good at visuals for when you eat out.)

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