Everyday Systems

oolala53

I boldly state my opinion about the concept of self-sabotage: if it actually helps to change behavior, keep it; if it doesn't, get rid of it. I think it normally just makes people feel worse, and frankly, I don't completely believe in it. I just think that the old neural patterns are very strong, an...

oolala53

That kind of S day happens!

Not sure if you've been doing much strength training. Some people work up to the 14 minutes.

You sound like you are right on track.

oolala53

Please remind me how tall you are. Please also go easy on yourself over a few pounds. More important is the good feeling physically we get from moderation. The body is going to do what it does. Enjoy good meals and enjoy the benefits! But I know the frustration of not being a rookie but seeming to m...

oolala53

I still can't imagine doing baking because dough is one of my major binge foods. Thankfully nobody complains if I bring bakery goods.

So nice to hear of your plans and your blessed outlook.

No need to reply!

oolala53

Linda, regarding the meeting with the real estate guy, a little cleavage is also apropos. :twisted: You sound so much like me. I have a hard time finding people I want to spend the effort on, though really, when there's rapport, it doesn't feel like effort. I've spent SO much time in the past going ...

oolala53

Thanks, Linda! But it really is because I'm tired of listening to myself say the same stuff. All children think adults they know look terrible dancing. They don't like to see them kiss, either. And I think possibly my mother thought I SHOULD be too shy to dance in public. Been off the wagon. Oh, wel...

oolala53

You definitely have even more incentive for strict moderation! Sorry you're having to go through this, but it does sound like the general prognosis is good. And smart eating is healthy no matter what we weigh.

oolala53

Good Lord, time does fly. How wonderful that you still feel so solid in this. Oh, how I wish young women could see this as a foundation. I'm not sure many would get to a BMI of 20, but No S can take them into and out of sane pregnancies. What a boon!

Thank you for blathering on.

oolala53

I called it punctuating the day, and I did it before and after every activity, unless I was very busy at work. I can't say I found a lot of terrific things to do instead. I guess a lot of them are "snacking with my time," as I think Noelfigart said on another thread. But I don't want to go back to s...

oolala53

Everyone is used to me saying "don't want to discourage you, but.." I came to No S because of FINALLY being scared that I would never get over overeating/grazing/bingeing and that it would keep escalating. I think two things that were crucial for me were that I was going to do this whether I lost we...

oolala53

It depends on what you mean by working. If it means getting good at eating regularly and not overeating much, it can work. If it means will it lead to weight loss, well, it will depend. Only time will tell. It does sound like your "meals" are reasonable for you. That's key no matter what. I do want ...

oolala53

Welcome home, no matter what you call yourself! What a brave time of year to jump back in. I think in traditional societies, their meal choices are also rather repetitive, at least for two of the meals. Hope the dinner thing works out. Just like with No S, who knows what meals will be six months fro...

oolala53

Welcome home, as I like to say. Funny how feeling it's too hard to fit a three-meal/ one-plate structure in can also lead to eating more sweets, even though it would be perfectly possible to still limit them! Once snacking becomes more common, well... My partner to the plank is the weekly 90-second ...

oolala53

Dropping in. It makes me nostalgic! Hoping to hit my stride again. YOU keep going!

oolala53

Welcome to the board, Mipe!

oolala53

Good news.

oolala53

If it's any motivation, it really is easier to buy clothes that flatter when the "lines" are smoother. It's not fair but there is more to choose from in smaller sizes, at least where I shop, which is discount stores like Ross. I need to spend more time exercising rather than more online writing, but...

oolala53

Sorry about your tooth. I had one crack apart while on a trip to Bali. I was lucky that there was no pain. I ended up going quite awhile before I had to do anything about it.

oolala53

I don't usually toast it, but I do like bread warmed in my panini press or convection oven.

oolala53

Meant to ask if you live in AZ. Maybe I knew that? I know Jerome! Cute place. I bought a rental in Prescott Valley in Dec. of 2005. Probably have told you that, too. Terrible year! ONE Year earlier and I would have been fine, but hindsight is 20x20. Lost a lot of dough. I sold about a year and a hal...

oolala53

Had a semi-wild Saturday. Did not feel good, but I won't whine about it. It's such an old story. Also won't whine about work. Went to dance class last night in honor of our teacher, who has surgery for mouth cancer coming up. Felt pretty good to move, though I was sore from lapsing and then going at...

oolala53

Add me to the list of people without many good friends. The ONE person I talk to regularly sounded a little peeved with me this morning, probably with good reason. I've been overeating, too. This was after about four weeks of being my lowest weight in years. I don't know if it's related or not. But ...

oolala53

Hope things are going ok.

oolala53

How've you been?

oolala53

Awesome news all around.

oolala53

Any luck with regular exercise, lovedby2?

oolala53

I also think it makes perfect sense to put cranberry sauce on a turkey sandwich.

oolala53

I think I've missed what a life eating project is. Is there a previous post on it that would be easier to refer me to than tell me? I humbly say the 14 minutes is a good habit because then it is more likely you will do something regular even if you can't swim. As you say, it's more of a hobby than a...

oolala53

Welcome back. Stay the course! No guarantees about the six kilos, but certainly a chance at peace.

oolala53

Could have sworn I replied to this, saying I don't do much! But I do tend to have groceries in the house for decent meals. We have a yearly 2-night event in San Diego to kick off the Christmas season. It's an outdoor extravaganza in a park that was the site of the Panama-California exposition in the...

oolala53

You might be asking a lot of yourself not to be an idiot this month. Don't let that throw you. It is not a sign of complete failure. Give yourself several months. I have used the "I've eaten X before (in spades!) and will again. Just not now." countless times over the years. I also think about the o...

oolala53

All that being said, I've been failing on some sizable portions of sweets pretty regularly lately. Man, it's so easy, even though I remember a day when it felt absolutely weird to reach for any on an N day. Been on jury duty since Wednesday afternoon. Judge kept promising it would be a short trial, ...

oolala53

I have often made open-faced fruit sandwiches, sometimes with just a smear of a nut butter (I prefer almond), and a whoosh of cinnamon. I might dust with stevia. Chew well and savor! It's a makeshift pastry and leaves me more satisfied than the "real" thing.

oolala53

I have turkey periodically throughout the year. Am away and have no leftovers, but I would definitely partake if I did. Might keep the portions small, remembering that there is a whole eating season coming up when there will be many opportunities to have great food.

oolala53

Hey, it hasn't been even 48 hours since you first posted and some of that was over a holiday! Is losing weight really your only concern? I mean, is that really the best reason to establish habits of moderation? Is it really okay with you to imagine overeating for the rest of your life? Or do you thi...

oolala53

I think your uncle and your plan wasn't that bad until the pig out at the end of the day. Long gaps don't have to be followed by overeating. Perhaps there'll be a chance at some point to experiment again.

Hope you enjoyed all your eating yesterday!

oolala53

Sara-lara, I always suspected that the 5:2 thing could so easily be overcome by gorging. Certainly most of my bingeing/compulsive eating was confined to 5 hours or 8 at most. That's another version, right? The 16 hour fast rather than the five-hour one. But to be honest, in the old binge days, I did...

oolala53

LOVE chocolate and raspberry.

oolala53

I've even frozen cooked oatmeal, then heated it in the morning. But I often have foods that don't take long in the morning. I used to cook a lot of chicken breasts, then add servings of them to a lunch box or plate with some kind of already prepared starch, lots of veggies, and a bought good-quality...

oolala53

Double amazing.

oolala53

If I'm honest, I have to admit I in early years I would sometimes do a rough guesstimate of calories at meals, especially ones I packed. I knew I wasn't likely to leave food on my plate, so I kept amounts down because I just didn't want to have that stuffed feeling. Eating only three meals, a 500-ca...

oolala53

When I was in college at UC Santa Cruz, there were two young women who often wore shorts. They took a bet that they could wear shorts every day they were at school for the school year and won. Not sure they were the same shorts, but I doubt they wore that many pairs.

oolala53

Failed on sweets rather strongly three days in a row. Geesh. I wish it made me feel worse physically. Not that it feels good. It's kinda funny how it feels familiar and almost comfortable in the familiar mild cruddy feeling. Unfortunately, it's not intense enough to really hate. And NOT failing does...

oolala53

Hi, Noel! I'm in awe of your swimming regime. I still have many days on which I do almost nothing. And days when I do something, it's often only 8 minutes of intensity. I think swimming five miles a week is amazing. I guess you have short hair?

oolala53

We'll getchya so that no one will even reckanize you when you go home to visit. You definitely sound like one of the tribe. It really doesn't take millions in NHS research money, nor all day, to figure out how to have a few good meals and get some moderate exercise. It's likely only 20% or less of t...

oolala53

There is no promising that it won't be hard sometimes. Just keep remembering that going back to limiting food by "dieting" is a hard option. Overeating too often is no fun, either. Vow to keep going until you find your middle ground. Try to be patient and curious about what it will be like a few mon...

oolala53

Those are EXCELLENT tactics! I have gotten through many a food-filled situation by remembering just how wonderful those first few bites of the meal will be, as well as that I can keep eating to the end of the meal, not have to stop after a few bites of some snack that would probably leave me wanting...

oolala53

I don't see it here. Glad you came and took a bow!

oolala53

I used decaf mochas between meals as needed for years. My loss was slow but I mostly wanted to just learn moderation. I feel I have. Alternately, consider having the hot beverage sometime after dinner, maybe after the dishes are done, etc. That could be the night ritual for awhile, instead of eating...

oolala53

Might be some Christmas break reading. Tx!

oolala53

I wouldn't say it won't trigger binges, but if you keep working the program and surrender deep inside to the double concepts of moderation and the value of reducing the problem behavior, you have a better chance with this than with much else that's out there no matter what the websites promise. I st...

oolala53

I have general guidelines for the ratio of dense to lighter foods at lunch and dinner. Breakfast is just a few go-to options by now. I don't have to know what protein and starch I'll have, but I know I'll have something plus freggies two meals a day. I don't eat out that often, but I relax the guide...

oolala53

It turns out this is one of the paradoxical tenets of Dialectical Behavior Therapy. The client must both accept herself and the troublesome behavior AND accept that It needs to change because it's causing more problems than it's solving. Apparently, that's what the "dialectical" part is. The client ...

oolala53

I'm curious to know if you are really hungry after your dinner or just have an itch to eat. I discovered before No S that I had the greatest yen to eat within 3 hours of a meal, but it wasn't empty-stomach hunger. It was/is actually more annoying than real hunger, and thus even more important to ign...

oolala53

I'm so glad you want common meals. It's funny, because it didn't keep our family close, but I'm still glad I grew up with it.

oolala53

Yes! Being able to tame WTH might be ALMOST as valuable as perfect compliance.

oolala53

Splenda in coffee and honey in tea are not sweets officially.

It is perfectly acceptable to wean your way off eating at night. I know of some people who allowed themselves a snack between lunch and dinner. Eventually, they dropped it.

oolala53

NO culture in the world has all their members eating only when they're hungry and doing it willy nilly. Slim cultures know intuitively that that encourages emotional and/or mindless eating that is ultimately unsatisfying. Sure, you can eat when you're hungry, but you can wait for a meal to do it. An...

oolala53

Think I'll roast my acorn squash today, inspired by one of your days. MaggieMay, I've lasted since 1999 in the public schools, but I came to the career in desperation for some financial security. I just couldn't be poor anymore. But I've paid a price. A lot of difficult conversations with students g...

oolala53

OMGosh, your daughter's insight was astounding and funny! Busted! I humbly suggest you make your weight loss goal 35 lbs. :lol: But also stay honest about what moderation is. Though some research shows that people lose more weight when they have a goal, I suspect other research might show that the w...

oolala53

Not eating again after an eating event felt so weird at first! Then I realized, this is how it's supposed to be! I gently recommend recalling the good feeling and revelling in it. Just like ignoring, it's a good counter to the neurological junk.

oolala53

When the motivation is strong and not about self-hate, those longer gaps between meals can be very beneficial. (But I think there's a big difference between gluttony and three moderate meals.)

Looking forward to a good meal is an excellent delay tactic. I don't doubt the meal was delicious.

oolala53

When we find out that certain foods are just not satisfying from experience, rather than that someone told us it's a junk food, it's much more powerful! And if it IS still satisfying, we can have it, knowing it's only part of the meal part of the time, most likely. All it takes is honesty...

oolala53

Did you thank them for their unsolicited concern? OK, I know that would be unnecessary bad form. But, really! It's amazing how much our culture feels permission to comment.

I hope the move is good news for you. I slightly envy having it as a reason to get rid of stuff!

oolala53

That's the spirit! Believe me, you can get better at saying no, thanks, to offers of food. Part of what helped me was my exposure to my sister's thin son-in-law for 25 years. That guy NEVER eats something just because it's offered. He's not unpleasant about it. He might even take some but it will ju...

oolala53

You are definitely getting there. I don't call hot chocolate a sweet, but I am judicious in having it, especially out. At home, I make it with stevia. Yeah I've probably kept my sweet tooth going longer than I need to, but it's a price I'm willing to pay. Others don't feel it's worth it. You get to ...

oolala53

I am feeling peeved with myself reading of your scheduling issues because I have none of these issues and still don't exercise. I could even run in my neighborhood in the dark. Also have tons of workout videos, plus the net. Just pure lethargy here. Is it time you don't have or light? I guess going ...

oolala53

Welcome here, too! I've told people your approach can work, though it wasn't what I did. I can imagine for some people, it would be much more humane, as long as they didn't give up early. Thank you for letting us know.

oolala53

And be open to the possibility that you will enjoy the holiday even more if you eat less than in previous years. Urges can be very misleading because you DO get a very temporary satisfaction from eating randomly, but you don't get to find out the other pleasures of NOT doing that. You can't really h...

oolala53

Hi, KCCC! I've been MIA at different times but hardly long enough to have been really gone. I have my little blips but I stay around because I still consider this an interesting topic in life. I guess it allows me to think and talk about food without having to become a good cook! Let's enjoy the hol...

oolala53

Your mods sound very reasonable, not at all like you're kidding yourself, which is the problem sometimes. You probably don't need me to tell you that the meal structure allows for lots of great holiday food on N days, just at limited times. But no one starves! If you stick with it, you will be very ...

oolala53

I'm glad to hear that you feel most of your weight was lost from No S-ing and not from the food restrictions. Of course they can make a difference and are everyone's choice, but the plan is so flexible! Glad to hear it's pretty much second nature. And put a note on your calendar to keep us updated n...

oolala53

I've had many times when I've wondered what the heck is going to get me to stop eating compulsively in some similar situation. Honestly, I don't know why things will change and I start doing it, BUT I will say that I have sometimes gone through a phase, short or long, where I gave up on it. Not went...

oolala53

If your meals are that erratic, it is no wonder you snack without stopping at night, (though those who get good at intermittent fasting do manage to just eat a regular meal at dinner time after fasting all day). IMHO it will be very unlikely for you to detach from sugar and bingeing unless you learn...

oolala53

What was your original motivation to stop bingeing? Write down your reasons and read them several times a day for a few months, definitely until New Year's. Also spend some time remembering how it felt to eat so regularly and moderately. Vow to bear the "necessary pain" (of wanting to eat but waitin...

oolala53

I've dome out different types at times. INFJ INTJ INFP. But remember that No S type eating is common in slim cultures and thus has been effective for MANY "types." The data you are likely referring to was probably based on a comparably SMALL number of people, maybe hundreds or thousands compared to ...

oolala53

I meant to say that I think it is a good thing to go ahead and have at least some small meal in your midday even when things seem hectic. It might just be a bowl of soup and piece of bread. Just for the habit.

oolala53

Be gentle on yourself for the past, but possibly a bit firm for the now and future. Get clear what your motivation is. Why is living with moderation better than living with overeating? It makes thing a lot easier when you pump up the value of this in your mind. Calmly and with objective curiosity, p...

oolala53

All normal ponderings, Octavia. It's really got to be lived, though. You just can't know ahead of time how it will all shake out. I pray you can let the weight thing go for a bit. It complicates things! But at some point you do have to get honest with yourself about whether you're being moderate abo...

oolala53

I just want to eat and move moderately, consistently. I'll take the body that gets. It's possible I'll do more after I retire, but I don't want to depend on it.

oolala53

I know that my hardest times are when I have discretionary time and I SHOULD be doing productive, useful things that I don't like to do. I've avoided a lot of them AND a lot of eating posting here and reading up on slim cultures and such.

oolala53

GP, it's a bit of a heady read, but if you're ever in the mood, consider reading The Beauty Myth. A radical argument, but it's got some shade (at least) of truth.

oolala53

Ouch. another fail, but not as big. I'm not allowing myself to get too annoyed.

oolala53

Busted! Actually, I think the research shows that logging food CAN work even without determining calories, in case that changes anything. I don't understand how it ends up working. I believe you have to have the exact right attitude or it will backfire. I swear it interferes with getting the visual ...

oolala53

I spoke too soon. Had a spectacular fail yesterday. No special stress, nothing to celebrate. Didn't really even need to walk in those markets, though I did end up getting some useful things. So much dang freedom! Don't know if I mentioned it elsewhere but I recently browsed an early work by Roy Baum...

oolala53

Don't want to scare you but even years in, the afternoon hours can be tough. I have things I SHOULD be doing but don't want to. That can generate eating desires as a pleasant diversion. But I've gotten used to it. I've failed enough times to know that snacking (or worse) is even less satisfying. For...

oolala53

I bought some half price candy on Sunday. It was fun. Not longing for any more. I've got classes on Monday and Tuesday nights that I'm having a harder time negotiating dinner around than I thought I would. They don't mess me up completely, but I do feel off-center. I'd like to get a little more flex...

oolala53

I bought some half price candy on Sunday. It was fun. Not longing for any more. I've got classes on Monday and Tuesday nights that I'm having a harder time negotiating dinner around than I thought I would. They don't mess me up completely, but I do feel off-center. I'd like to get a little more flex...

oolala53

Tricky stuff. I WANT to eat at meal time even though I'm often not hungry.But I'm not the "not hungry" where nothing sounds good to eat. I still get some pleasure from the food, but not nearly like when I'm HUNGRY.

oolala53

NOTHING HAS to lead to binges. Of course, we don't HAVE to tempt fate by constantly putting ourselves into tough situations, like by eating too little, but just about everything else is negotiable. We can feel like bingeing and still not binge! Glad Brain Over Binge is helping. I read her mentor, th...

oolala53

I like to think that hunger means I'm getting into my fat stores, but I don't think it's necessarily true. Our bodies pull out glycogen first, but often AFTER the first rumblings of hunger. Then on the second round, they gets into the fat. But they can also use up some muscle if we aren't moving muc...

oolala53

Oooo, I did a lot more than you sober members. I had the purple frosting off multiple cookies, a few crispies M and M's, some fun size 3 Musketeers & Milky Ways, and a Tootsie Pop. My, it was fun. I'm over it now.

oolala53

What, if any, Halloween candy is an S for you this weekend? I had a few chocolate almond kisses yesterday, along with some non-Halloween sweets (East Indian) Haven't decided yet about today, though I know I want something. I thought I wanted candy corn (!) on Friday, but that's passed. What could it...

oolala53

Just for the heck of it, I took another of Beck's books, The Complete Beck Diet for Life out of the library, and dang if there isn't some great stuff in there, too. I HATE all the emphasis on doing it all to be thin and on calories, but the strategies to keep habits and the discussions are good stuf...

oolala53

Hi, girl! I actually already feel a difference in my step from a few weeks of consistent vigor. When I'm doing my exercises, I'm pushing hard, but it's only for 20-30 seconds at a time, except for the wall sit. It's definitely paying off. I jogged years ago. I think I never got faster than a 10-minu...

oolala53

Those are fantastic results, esp. because they came from such reasonable habits, no? November habits sound good, too. Step by step! Better to ease into tougher habits. If we strain ourselves soon and don't get the results we want, there isn't much room to make things tougher.

oolala53

There are dregs that last until summer?

oolala53

I'd say if you don't have a chance to eat dinner earlier, later is okay. That's not the same as "eating at night," which I assume means after you've had a dinner. Watch those thoughts after dinner that tell you to have this or nibble on that. It's just the habit brain pattern protecting itself. The ...

oolala53

Try to remember that when the urge to overdo the candy comes, as well it might, that you can't find out what it's like to experience the next day without eating too much unless you actually don't eat too much! Give yourself the gift of finding out.

oolala53

Sanity!

Everyday Systems

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