Everyday Systems

oolala53

I am in a similar boat. I feel that nearly every project I've had done at my house has never just solved the problem without more problems, though not necessarily worse ones. In some ways, I should probably never have been a home owner. Then again, as of now, I haven't had any of the big nightmare p...

oolala53

Here's another book, this one on my wish list at Amazon. I resist spending money on another book I might not actually implement the plan from, especially since I don't feel that clothes are the big issue these days. But I may break down and invest in it when I retire, as I may want some direction on...

oolala53

I finished a school year, too. We had one official retiree and one long-time teacher leaving to do something else for the district. The retiree is someone I've eaten lunch with for a couple of years, and most of the time, it's been just the two of us. I'm rubbed so raw so often that I don't always m...

oolala53

Glad for your post, eschano, as I had already slipped and reading this reminds me not to give in to WTH.

oolala53

Wow to those colors! I had to straighten up quite a bit (by my standards) for a guest. I've been basking in the results on my first official day of summer break. Culled papers to be recycled or shredded from one box. Many more to go... I have a friend who gets even more discouraged over this than I ...

oolala53

Had some down times myself. Let's have a better week.

oolala53

Glad things are going smoothly for you now. I wish I got notice of your updates!

oolala53

Rea, it's the brain pattern of the habit trying to assert itself. Yes, it can deliver thoughts! All kinds of 'em, all with the same intent, and sounding rather logical at the time. The less drama accepting, then ignoring them, the better.

I"m preaching to myself right now.

oolala53

I might bring in a dish or two to try out. I actually think I like my daily dishes better for daily use-more colorful-, but I do like the look of a table set with the china. Besides, I already have a lot of place settings of it. I wonder if someone can make a picture of a set table into a tablecloth...

oolala53

The Minimalists are coming to San Diego for a talk. I saw them once before but grossly underestimated the interest, so I was too far away. Actually, they were in a bookstore and there were so many attending that I was outside the door trying to peek in. I guess those guys don't do a lot of entertain...

oolala53

It's also nice to remember that you've probably never been sorry you passed up a donut.

oolala53

Most women definitely cannot fill their plates with mostly dense foods- read lots of cheese on a sandwich- and still lose weight. I have to admit I learned about meals that were quite satisfying while doing the 40/30/30 plan about 15 years ago. They were basically a protein serving, a couple of serv...

oolala53

Nice to hear that S's are contained and the "rules" feel natural.

oolala53

Cait5, it is absolutely typical to crave sugar or any other "highly palatable" food after restricting it. If a person does give in to the craving and gorges on the substance, it will make the brain pattern for it even stronger. Sometimes just knowing that will give a person the motivation to resist ...

oolala53

Linda, hope the lifestyle- and this is definitely living- makes up for no scale loss as long as you need it to. Eventually you're going to settle at the weight easiest for you to maintain. No S just goes on.

oolala53

Congratulations on this marriage to a great lifestyle.

oolala53

So glad to hear things are going well. I'll be 66 in five years. Maybe it will be completely automatic by then! Food and a lot of other good things.

oolala53

So glad you are able to manage your health condition. Are you still counting bites through it all?

Tell you more in a separate email. Don't want to bogart your thread.

oolala53

How are you doing?

oolala53

He got a little complicated for me-I didn't finish it-, but it certainly dovetails Reinhard. I have some time coming up on break from school. Might take a look again. I, too, like the idea of looking at beliefs, etc. rather than just habits like wipe the sink down each day. I think Reinhard is or us...

oolala53

I never saw this! I've got a cold today and also have to get ready to drive a couple of hours for a wedding, so I doubt I'll declutter today. I might just lurk or whine for a bit, until the school year is over in a week. I've been getting the Flylady newsletter for years and have adopted a few habit...

oolala53

I use cocoa powder, too! It on its own is definitely a good food, like an herb or spice would be. If anything that doesn't make you keep going back for more and more and has decent nutritive value, I think it's a good "addiction." But mine is probably a little "funny stuff," because I will often add...

oolala53

Dale, have you considered making a mod to have a little chocolate more often, since it wasn't one of your excesses? Or do you think that would be waking the dragon after three years?

oolala53

BTW, how is the knee? Did you find a replacement for running and biking?

oolala53

That is FANTASTIC news. I am so happy for you and your growing family! How wonderful to grow up with a mom not burdened by the fear of food. Thank you for updating us. I run a little team dedicated to No S on Sparkpeople. a huge weight loss site that has a real bias towards calorie limits and detail...

oolala53

Maybe makes you wish for Armageddon?

oolala53

When I've had this happen in other places, I just edit the second one to read "oops. double post" Regarding the visual cue, back when I did WW, they had a little beaded bracelet that you could load up with beads that represented points. It also had a charm on it, and one different-colored bead, I th...

oolala53

My heart goes out to you! I'm a little luckier with my weight and ability to socialize, but I relate, believe me. My social life is practically nil. With regard to sticking to No S, I've had a LOT of "I just don't care anymore," and "It's not worth it" thoughts in the past few months and more mildly...

oolala53

The foundation is usually a mocha. The things I chew can vary a lot, but it's rarely the volume of even my two fists. This has evolved over a period of years. It used to be mostly hot or cold non-sweetened cereal, fruit, and nuts OR eggs and veggies, maybe toast.

oolala53

Being terrified of gaining weight/fat even though you know you are underweight and it's for your health is not a minor problem. If you have a lot of body dissatisfaction, you may need other kinds of help. I will say that when I started here, my main goal was sane eating. I was in the low obese range...

oolala53

If you are lifting weight to try to get to bodybuilder fat content, well... there's a lot of fallout from that effort. Very few people with eating disorders recover using that tactic. It makes a lot of people crazy around food, even men. Get away from any people who bemoan their bodies, especially i...

oolala53

Vacation doesn't have to mean a lot of overeating. You can feast on the sights and sounds instead! And it ends up feeling better to keep the extras to the really special.

oolala53

No one can promise how someone will react. I still sometimes crave a snack in the afternoon unless I have eaten a very heavy lunch. But it's just an old reaction to stress. The 3-meal part sounds like a good beginning. I still like the way No S let me wean myself off the rest of it. Every time I try...

oolala53

"Sausage" was definitely one of the cute endearments Dame Edna used in her act.

oolala53

So what actually gets served at a morning tea? Is it different from an afternoon tea? I mean, different foods?

oolala53

Does morning tea mean food?

oolala53

Heart attacks have turned many a person around, if they survive. But not always. When I did massage, I had a client who had had open heart surgery in his early fifties. Afterwards, he told me he ate a lot less, but he wasn't really careful. He was told if a person doesn't change, it takes about ten ...

oolala53

Thanks, ladies!

I'm realizing that we can never really know about the future. We can convince ourselves we know, but that it just a fantasy. So why be concerned with having a convincing fantasy? Underneath that, I still don't know, so I might as well just admit it and accept it.

I'm workin' on it.

oolala53

Won't go into the details but feel I'm coming out of a hole, though it was one I chose. Have had a mostly good week, though definitely not all green. I am attempting to practice not letting ANY drama develop when non-compliant. I know that's what's always been recommended here. Mark it and move on. ...

oolala53

As Reinhard has said, don't aim for an ideal weight; aim for ideal habits. Keep it up!

oolala53

Excellent work.

oolala53

Tough news about RA, tobiasmom. Peace and balance as soon as possible.

oolala53

Warmest wishes!

oolala53

Excellent.

oolala53

It's all that end-of-the-summer frivolity...

oolala53

Sorry the gift hit you so hard. You are definitely entitled to your feelings, but I hope you can also try to assume the best intentions of MIL. Maybe it's a generational thing. My mom often bought clothes as gifts, even for girlfriends she hadn't seen for years. It's nice she's still getting your th...

oolala53

Midweek is a good time to start.

oolala53

I am browsing after a hiatus. Condolences on your losses, but so glad to hear that you felt you had the foundation of eating to keep it from getting too crazy. I've had my falls, but No S has also supported me through some very trying times. It's amazing that we can forget that things are actually b...

oolala53

Browsing around after a semi-hiatus. This spring was my 5-year mark. Had a little trouble this past year and am now getting my mojo back. (BTW, it was a combination of older-person's decreasing appetite while still wanting the pleasure of more food combined with thinking I might be able to get mysel...

oolala53

Congrats that good, sane, sustainable habits got you where you are.

oolala53

Glad you've found a way of eating that feels like it can be permanent. I hope you find some solutions for your other issues soon.

oolala53

Just browsing. Great story. Hope you're still going strong. Previous failures can actually be a boon, when they help us see mistakes more rationally, and especially when there is a reasonable- not magic- fix.

I'm looking forward to the 10% testimonial and further "durings."

oolala53

Hi, LInda, I've been lurking.

20 minutes for a 12-year old! We can't get most of our high school students to present for five minutes, and that's mostly reading from a paper or card. 'Course, the presentations have to be about more content these days.

If she can do that, she has most adults beat.

oolala53

Welcome home! If you really HAVE to lose weight, you DO have motivation. Every time you feel like going off the plan, think: is this worth not being able to stand? Is this worth the condition my knees are in? The pain in my back and feet? Don't I deserve to see if I can reverse this even while I eat...

oolala53

Weekend updates are a treat. I doubt your fails are excessive, and you are definitely eating differently than you were at the beginning of the year. That's more than most people can say. And the family following along is fab.

BTW, sorry about family troubles. Hope you find peace soon.

oolala53

Welcome home! I humbly encourage you to think that you just don't want to live with such eating disarray anymore. How long have you been at it? How long is long enough? I say that because at age 56 when I started, I saw that I had been at it nearly 40 years! And that I would go to my grave strugglin...

oolala53

One member on another site found a cookie jar that has a timed lock on it! Sometimes it's locked when she wants to put stuff IN. The jury is still out.

oolala53

I had been an afternoon-into-night eater. Within a week of ending that, I started to get hungry for breakfast. I don't get so hungry now, but because of my schedule, I do have something. If I were retired, I think I'd have only two meals. But you can have something very light, and not right when you...

oolala53

I think that's called a cocktail.

oolala53

Welcome! Consider browsing through a few pages of this discussion for tips and such. You can also ask specifics as you go. Check your local library for the book. It's not absolutely necessary, but is helpful.

But mostly, just keep telling yourself it's absolutely worth it to give it 100%!

oolala53

Hope this link works.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/2 ... -242509333

oolala53

Ah, there we have it. "And when eventually I lose that control, everything starts going downhill." Classic What The Hell thinking. One of the BIGGEST obstacles to habit change. Similar to " If I'm failing now, I fail forever." All-or-nothing thinking. I humbly suggest you ponder what "striving for p...

oolala53

Meant to say, if I were retired, I think I might end up having two meals a day, unless cafe au lait in the morning counts as a meal.

Hope you're doing well!

oolala53

I'm a little late to the party, but just want to say that no slim culture in the world lives by eating only when hungry. They may not all eat three scheduled meals but they all have some recognized meal times for people to eat (together) on a daily basis. However, they also don't eat all large meals...

oolala53

OOPS! Just saw your post on the general discussion board. If you feel any of my message undermines resolve that's important to you, feel free to delete. I'll understand.

oolala53

I wrote a long post but decided to send it separately. Then I ended up losing it. Whatever I write now, I'll just send. If you feel you can talk about it, can you remember back to that day in March when you first had sugar to what thoughts you had to justify it? Having some counterarguments ready ca...

oolala53

Also, you may have to consider changing your routines on the weekends. How else could you expand your life or calm it down, if you're trying to do too much, so that extra food doesn't play such a big role?

oolala53

I started messing with skipping meals a year ago. Haven't recovered.

It was in response to much lowered hunger levels, but still.

oolala53

I stumbled on a free video series on the brain, habits, healing, etc. I missed the first two weeks but signed up anyway. (I also took only the free version, and will miss the end of every video, as I already have another online commitment the same days. I'm also lucky enough right now to have free t...

oolala53

Because I don't eat sweets alone, I don't keep anything small around anymore. I'm not going to have them on an S day anyway. I rarely entertain, but if I did, I think I'd wait until close to the event to get dessert. I'm pretty sure that's similar to how the French plan, or used to be. I'm not sayin...

oolala53

RE: habitcal. Some people got around that issue this way. They had a separate habitcal for what they determined were small failures and big failures. I think they used yellow for small, still red for big. But it meant they could have a whole week with no red, which bolstered them. It was just until ...

oolala53

HA! But would you say, Want to watch me eat these 10 Milky Way bars? There's no problem with eating one bar. In my early wild days, I would eat a 20-ounce bar of milk chocolate over the course of a day. That's ten candy bars. That died down even before my mod, but I still had some over-the-top days....

oolala53

I'm envious. I still think coffee tastes terrible unsweetened. It would be nice to have the option, though I don't think it would serve the same purpose at times. But it's such a nice little way to have a break.

oolala53

Sure. I eat sweets only in company, and no cookie dough! I know you'd think eating sweets in company would preclude cookie dough, but I once went to a party at which the hostess started making a batch of chocolate chip cookies and guests asked for spoonfuls of dough. I thought, oh my god, people do ...

oolala53

We're on your side! I've been wobbling a lot, too. I'm kind of allowing it right now. No S has sustained me through some very tough times, but right now, it feels like work in a way that it didn't then. I have other fish to fry, so I actually don't fret about it the way I used to. But if something d...

oolala53

I, too, put the salad on the plate. If it's mostly leafy greens, it's piled pretty high! I've never had trouble getting enough food on the rest of the plate to fill me up, but I didn't start No S until I was in my late 50's and I'm not very active. If you are a big, active person who may need more d...

oolala53

My school breaks for lunch at 12:25 p.m. The next class starts at 1:21 p.m. I usually try to have dinner around 6:30 p.m., so that's about 5 hours. I have a hard time filling up the time, or I would try to eat later. I allow myself a decaf latte or mocha sometime after 4 p.m., if I feel like it's ve...

oolala53

This is a repeat from a previous post, but adds to the evidence. http://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/Dieting-Does-Not-Work-UCLA-Researchers-7832 Another study, which examined a variety of lifestyle factors and their relationship to changes in weight in more than 19,000 healthy older men over a four-ye...

oolala53

https://www.google.com/search?q=anyone+can+work+out+for+an+hour&rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS624US626&espv=2&biw=1247&bih=1242&tbm=isch&imgil=aGiHvZDuMupM0M%253A%253BsG5G2s5I5wDe_M%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fsassyfitgirl.com%25252Fpost%25252F54439198919%25252Fanyone-can-workout-for-an-hour-but-to-control-what&...

oolala53

I'm pretty sure that is atypical.

oolala53

This reminds me I read of a phenomenon in which menus that included salads tended to have customers who order MORE high calorie foods. The explanation was that just seeing that there was something "healthy" to get made people feel more virtuous, and thus deserving of heavier foods!

oolala53

Well, my goodness, there is an advantage to being over 60!

oolala53

Consider asking yourself, am I willing to go through the process of weaning myself off extra food by feeding my body regularly and then seeing as time goes on if I can get satisfied on less, or will I try to keep telling it to be happy with less? This is not to say that a perfect storm can't make pe...

oolala53

So glad for your 3 successes! Does struggle mean you wanted to eat outside the guidelines but didn't? Or that you did eat extra but had to work hard not to eat even more? Either way, the journey has begun! BTW, trying to keep to eating sweets with a meal only on an S day is a modification at this po...

oolala53

We don't need it; it's just so easy to want it and to sell. For most people, it is an automatic reinforcer. Humans are meant to eat! In nearly all countries that get access to abundant food, their populations become overweight. Only those with cultural traditions that limit intake don't follow the t...

oolala53

more important has been the freedom from constant snacking and /or calorie counting..i do well on 3 meals a day now .. I agree that this is the real victory. If weight loss is the only measure, what will a person do when weeks go by without it? Sane habits are their own reward. Honestly regarding w...

oolala53

Don't underestimate the calorie-burning power of the moral righteousness of saving the free world. We don't even have to kill anyone to do it. Just live moderately and welcome wannabe ex-immoderates as soon as they freely choose to convert.

oolala53

I look to the world for countries that have access to plenty of food, but still have a relatively slim culture. (Poor countries don't count...) France and Italy are the two most obvious, and they tend to eat three meals a day, though some regions have exceptions, and recent influence of American cul...

oolala53

I guess your work is cut out for you.

oolala53

He was a self-described compulsive eater, and believes, as he did with alcohol, that he is powerless on his own to control himself with food. Not all obese people are compulsive eaters; in fact, most of them aren't, apparently. But I'd say most of them aren't eating only three plates of food a day. ...

oolala53

It sounds like you are eating quite reasonably. I wish you peace with eating and your body soon.

oolala53

Just saw this. Lost all my weight after age 56. Bingeing was my issue. Took a couple of years. Mostly holding steady after another three years.

oolala53

I don't practice what I preach, but I do suggest trying to get over the hump of not doing some kind of exercise, such as walking. I hope it's okay to say that I think you probably have a voice of rebellion regarding this that says just about anything other than walking to the car and back is structu...

oolala53

One of my male friends is 70 and experiences bouts of depression. He also had back pain and can't exercise the way he used to. He's not a shut in, but can isolate himself a lot, except for short periods of time with grandchildren that he can rise to the occasion for, and regards himself as a compuls...

oolala53

Desire for sugar still comes and goes (after five years) depending on things in my life that seem to be unrelated to food, IMHO. I don't know that I'd call it craving. What I'm usually actually craving is something else, usually something I can't have, like an easier time at work that is masked by w...

oolala53

No telling. No S can affect other areas, but it's not designed to, and there are no promises. However, it is a very reasonable way to deal with the incredible availability of food, and is used successfully for that by millions of people in food-rich countries. Please try to think that what you need ...

oolala53

May I ask what your BMI would be if you did lose 40 lbs.? You did not say anything about your hunger levels. I suspect that most people need to be experiencing very clear hunger signals- not just that antsy desire to eat- for an hour or even two before their meals to lose weight. This would need to ...

oolala53

I probably overreacted! You probably stated it as something you did, not a requirement. Now I was being like my students, stepping in to defend someone who probably doesn't need defending! I'm glad a cup of hot tea will take the edge of your afternoon hunger, lifeisfun. I wish I liked tea. Drinking ...

oolala53

All due respect, practicing with an 8-hour fast sounds like a lot to ask for for someone who is having trouble getting from breakfast to lunch!

But Ruthie, I predict that someday you will go much longer than you thought you could and will even enjoy it!

oolala53

These are all good, but I also suggest not calling it "horrible" hunger. Is it really horrible? Horrible hunger is what people go through when they are consistently undereating or even purposely being tortured. No S is not about undereating. It is just about weaning yourself off overeating. Try any ...

Everyday Systems

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things NOT to say to yourself about food

brain "training" for willpower et al

working out vs. food intake

Meals on Wheels