Everyday Systems

oolala53

OMgosh, I hope he surrenders to No S, even if he "breaks" it along the way. I was more worried for him than for you. I really believe he'll do a lot less damage by flailing on No S. And I imagine you'd be able to be much more legitimately supportive of his ups and downs. Not to be too nosy or meddle...

oolala53

I posted on the main forum regarding a website that allows you to pick one word for your "resolution" for the year. I chose "welcome" because my spiritual practice recommends that we learn to welcome our difficulties, and that word has often been helpful. However, the words "gentle" and "safe" poppe...

oolala53

I can't get the email to work to change my word, so I suggest those of you who aren't sure give yourself some time.

oolala53

It sound like you are looking for something that will get you to a certain weight rather predictably in a linear fashion and then stay there. I will be brave and say that NOTHING has been shown to do this for the vast majority of people, not even No S or its origins, though it might exist for any on...

oolala53

This is hijacking the forum a bit, but it seems a bit in keeping with the spirit of everyday systems in its simplicity. Here is a link to a site that allows you to declare ONE word as your ultimate resolution for the year. I chose one but am already thinking of changing it. I am vacillating between ...

oolala53

Habit theory says looking for the positive is probably more effective. You didn't use WTH. You are easing yourself off the mindless habits. It will be a lot easier to eat less or nothing next time. Even a fail can be a win!

oolala53

Haven't read all your posts but wanted to say hi, and keep up the good fight. I'd bet your habits are better than they were a few months ago, even if you aren't getting a lot of green days in a row.

oolala53

Yeah, you owe him! Restriction usually makes the pendulum swing for me. In fact, just thinking about Paleo is making cookie dough sound really good! :? Yet I just had lunch: chicken breast over lettuce, carrot and pepper crudites with a few tablespoons of hummus. Almost paleo. But I'm going to have ...

oolala53

Knock on wood, here, re: the flu. Keep getting well!

oolala53

Another very noncompliant month for me. Hmpph. And I probably still won't get my exercise in today, though that was my focus. Sigh. guess I'm just not ready.

Maybe I need to reread a book I read years ago: When You Can, You Will.

oolala53

Just a few more days in 2014. Hope to make them count. Haven't had a lot of green days for quite awhile, though weight holds relatively steady. I keep waiting for SOMETHING to shift and galvanize me OR for a worthy diversion, hopefully not something unpleasantly dramatic.

oolala53

Two more days in 2014 after this. Let's make them count for habit's sake!

oolala53

Be sure to let us know how the holidays are going/went. Happy New Year!

oolala53

Hope your holidays have gone well. Happy No S-ing this New Year!

oolala53

Just wishing a Happy New Year!

oolala53

How the nail polishing going?

Happy New Year!

oolala53

Oops! Just looked at the program. Ixnay on the ricotta... I'm surprised your hubby isn't more curious just to try No S. I feel for him. These programs make so many promises but metastudies on 150 years of these kinds of programs show that they are notoriously unsuccessful in getting people to perman...

oolala53

I think regarding the program as a temporary experiment actually dovetails everyday systems, if not No S. Doing it as support for such a great husband sounds reasonable. He could ask for a lot worse! YOUR odds are probably better because I think a lot of foods have lost their appeal, no? Then again,...

oolala53

Hope your holidays went/are going well. Hang in there! Even if things are rough now, it is no guarantee they will remain so. One thought that has helped me at times is really believing that this is a very fair way to manage food, which has to be done by nearly everyone in a food-rich culture. It's t...

oolala53

First of all, congrats on your growing family. Wow! You've been at this for seven years, right? And it has taken you through pregnancies quite well, it sounds like. So many women seem to take it as a time to put no barriers on eating. Speaking of the French, I think they don't have the same attitude...

oolala53

Just wanted to add that the calculator for possible weight loss is in the sentence "If you really donâ€™t like doing math, we built a calculator for you that will estimate a weight loss specific to you."

For some reason, I can't get a link directly to the calculator to work.

oolala53

Annie seems to know her stuff.

oolala53

Oh, my. Food is so seductive. But so is balance. Glad to see you.

oolala53

No matter what results the few have, the results many people will have from even rather rigorous dieting are rather sobering, in my opinion. This is why when I started No S, I wasn't dead set on losing a lot, and certainly not quickly. I had read reports on attempts to help obese people to change th...

oolala53

After descending into looking at some diet stuff, I reinforce the wisdom of finding a way to live peacefully with food rather than a way to lose weight. The results of even more rigorous systems than No S do not have very inspiring results for all the effort, in my opinion. I'm convinced that people...

oolala53

Hmm. I'm not that interested in sculpting my body anymore. Most bodies are not going to get "sculpted" with moderate habits. I'm willing to sculpt my habits, and only so far with those, then revel in the improved vitality. Thankfully the body responds pretty well to moderation! But for anyone who is...

oolala53

Abide: what a great term. Stick with it. Five more weeks of sanity is going to make you feel lighter for your travel.

oolala53

That is fantastic for a first week or hundredth week!

oolala53

Friends with food. Yes! I'll admit we have had a falling out relatively recently, but I'm not giving up.

oolala53

Just catching up. I'm grouchy ALL the time at my work. Or almost all of it. And I live alone, or someone would probably notice I am other times, too. Just saw KCCC's last post. That is me, except that I STILL don't do the things I don't want to do, and I pay a price. Even when I've experience satisf...

oolala53

This may come and go, but at some point, it becomes clearer that there just isn't the payoff that there used to be. This can take awhile, far beyond the time when it seems it should be obvious. Enjoy whatever release you feel from the urges and fill up on alternatives to food as often as you can!

oolala53

I gently suggest- as someone who started this at age 56- that you aim more at the idea of wanting to eat moderately and sanely for the long run rather than that you want to lose a certain amount of weight. You don't have to wait until you weigh a certain amount before you're successful with No S. Yo...

oolala53

I'm fond of saying that No S can be hard at times. It just turns out that for most of us, everything else is even harder. When you really accept that this is probably your best bet, the ups and downs get more acceptable. Try to take the long view. You really can't know what it will be like after six...

oolala53

Never be surprised by how much we can desire food when we think we shouldn't desire food. The desire for food at various times doesn't usually go away just because we think we should eat less and aspire to. But not giving in is the best antidote. As someone with five years in, I can tell you that wh...

oolala53

As if there isn't enough said... No slim cultures in the world rely on intuitive eating. They don't trust the whims of the body! It's true that they eat fresher food and may be more spontaneous about what they buy and cook for dinner, but they have rather set ideas about what and how much is eaten a...

oolala53

Hope it's okay that I jump in. I don't eat the chips-or typically anything else- until my meal comes. This is because I don't want to spoil my appetite! I wait until the food I want the most is in front of me because those first few bites are so heavenly. This means I sometimes have first course foo...

oolala53

And worth it, I bet you'd say.

Three meals a day and your new life in between! French and Italian women do it all the time.

What a Christmas this will be!

oolala53

Just in case, the previous opinions aren't enough, I'll agree. There is nothing to say that S days have to be excessive. But I certainly wouldn't forego an S because of failed N days. Pattern is very important. You are trying to establish a pattern that S's happen on S days. If you take them away fr...

oolala53

It's just a darn reasonable way to live and manage eating in a food-rich environment.

Hang in there!

oolala53

Women writers on compulsive eating have been deploring the equating of eating "correctly", and the related issue of looking right, with morality for decades. I read and liked Diet Cults, though the author is definitely biased about exercise, IMHO. Don't mean to hijack the thread, but here is a quota...

oolala53

Crying may be the perfect thing to do. I've practiced using many strategies to deal with anxious thoughts, including just trying to experience them and their attendant sensations. Sometimes the sensations and desire to be rid of them got so strong recently that I ended up crying. It was actually qui...

oolala53

Sorry, but I must say that though I enjoyed my N days enormously, I don't think I would have lasted if I had not had my wild S days even though I was very aware that they slowed or stopped my weight loss. That would have felt like I was on a diet. When you ssay that you feel you are undoing the good...

oolala53

I saw you posted a link on Spark but can't find it now. Can you add it here?

oolala53

Butter can definitely be part of moderate eating. Though the quality of the fat is important, for weight control, it still looks like total intake is what really affects things.

Keep us informed of your experiments!

oolala53

Also a frazzled teacher here. Letting you know I adopted No s during some of my worst years. It actually helped my stress levels not to be stress eating every day.

We're on your side!

oolala53

Did a lot of nibbling last week. Geesh. Will not get on a scale until I've had several compliant days. Or maybe I'll measure my waist and thighs.

Got three good weeks and change before Xmas! Enough time to reestablish more sanity.

oolala53

Let's talk this week. I am available from mid-afternoon on.

I'm reading Recover! by Stanton Peele now, though it's due back to the library soon. I'll keep you posted.

oolala53

Cost is probably part of it. I was just surprised because it seems like it was such a common idea to worry about its use, as if people were eating gobs of it before. Even when margarine was introduced because it was thought to be an improvement, fat intake still didn't amount to much compared to now...

oolala53

kevyn, I envy you your Chi running results. I took several Sunday morning mini-clinics with a local runner (decades!) and just couldn't get the hang of it. Browsing the boards trying to get my mind around being consistent with something. I'm not a complete potato, but dang! I actually have the time....

oolala53

That link you provided, SE, got me this message: Safari canâ€™t open the page â€œhttp://strengthendurance.wordpress.com.../â€ because Safari canâ€™t find the server â€œstrengthendurance.wordpress.com...â€. Does wordpress have something against Apple?

oolala53

The Farmer's Walk is with 25 lbs. in each hand?

oolala53

Yikes! Pricey. But maybe that's what hammers cost.

oolala53

I'm here more for exercise, and can't even claim to be feeling particularly determined. But I acknowledge that it's still on the ideal list.

oolala53

Welcome to reason. I gently caution you not to try to attack all your transgressions at once. I say that because you said you were going to put a plan on paper. I hope it's pretty much close to "Put non-sweets on a plate three times a day and eat them." To start, that's all you need. You can still e...

oolala53

Just wanted to point out that there was no mention of starch/carb issues. I try to imagine the average housewife in the '20's being told to make sure the meals included only 20 or even 50 carbs a day, as is so often insisted on these days in certain circles. Not to say that such limitations might no...

oolala53

I missed this, but hear, hear. Glad I enjoyed it and glad it's over. I posted some charts about habits that have led to weight gain in America. I didn't comment there, but perhaps I'll go back and add that there was no evidence that people ate low carb back in the day. I just know I sure still enjoy...

oolala53

Don't know if this might be a repeat, but just more interesting reinforcement. http://authoritynutrition.com/12-graphs-that-show-why-people-get-fat/ I want to point out that sugar consumption didn't have to be at zero to have the population to be slim. Average weight stayed relatively low until the ...

oolala53

I gently suggest that you end your S days at lunchtime on Sunday, if you want to include Friday night. The two S days are not actually 48 hours long. They start on Saturday morning and go until Sunday night, which means they encompass about 36-40 hours. Or at least that's what I have deduced and rec...

oolala53

Give yourself time and rejoice in compliant N days. A year of mostly compliant N days would be a huge improvement even if you S days remain ridiculously imperfect, no? (That's what motivated me for my first two years.) Progressive changes can get you the same place as overnight conversion. Progressi...

oolala53

I gently suggest that you try to let go of thinking of yourself as an eating disaster, unless you can truly think of it in an amusing, lighthearted way. The research is clear: rational compassion is more effective. :) Leslie Sansone is a lot of fun! Don't be intimidated if you can't keep up or do al...

oolala53

Wow! Interesting that the nightly snack took so long, though who am I to talk, as it's often back for me. More like nibbles of this and that. Do you mean No Sweets ever? I can't see myself at THIS point making that a pronouncement, as more and more of them have lost their appeal. But never say never...

oolala53

I succumbed to hype and read a book on weight loss by a sometimes guest on Good Morning America, Tory Johnson. I found myself feeling sad and disturbed as I read of how restrictive she was and how driven by self-disgust and judgement. Now to be fair, her livelihood was also on the line, or so she th...

oolala53

You are a hoot! People will think you're just celebrating Christmas early IF you end up failing and having the mixed colors. If you don't fail, you're just a Rad Grammy!

oolala53

Missed this back when. Congrats on 6 months in. Hope your health has improved. Warmest wishes entering the holiday season.

oolala53

I'm late to this but want to join in on feeling for your losses and on how NOT stress eating actually helps navigate stressful times. It's a lesson that may need reinforcement, but still a worthy one.

Warmest wishes as we enter the holiday season.

oolala53

I keep reminding myself how much great holiday food I still get to eat even if I stick to N days. Let's affirm our getting to New Year's feeling peaceful about how it's gone.

oolala53

Just curious. Did you end up eating the same amount for dinner that you normally would?

oolala53

If I had a nickel for every post of members marveling at real hunger.

oolala53

ammara, I suggest definitely bringing more moderation to S days before considering WW. It has an 84% failure rate over the long run. Try to concentrate on what eating events are truly pleasurable before, during, and after them. This will eventually allow a fair amount of the least satisfying eating ...

oolala53

You have a perfect reason to eliminate sugar. Diabetes trumps No S any day. (There are some diabetics here who have evolved into 3 meals a day, but that is a personal choice. I imagine most of them don't eat much sugar even on S days. It's not a requirement!) Moderation at eating events and consiste...

oolala53

Yes, it's true. At that point, my odds of regaining will drop to 25%. Can you believe that the chance will still be so large? I feel pretty good about being able to maintain.

oolala53

Depends on how long you've been at it. I wouldn't change anything unless you've been having mostly compliant N days for about 6 months. Yes, S days may interfere with weight loss now, but trying to curtail things too much my interfere with the process of learning to eat less permanently, which is th...

oolala53

I know it's been several months, but just wanted to send you a note of encouragement as we enter the holiday season. I f you gave up, don't feel too terrible. I started my first real attempt just before Thanksgiving of 2008, and had only two or three compliant weeks in more than a year until I commi...

oolala53

Beck's (non-calorie counting/specific meal-planning) strategies were integral to me in getting going and staying with No S. I need to review some of them myself. My reason list has over 40 of them; some are rewards I promised myself at milestones. It's good to read it and remember that I made it tha...

oolala53

Hoping that no news is good news.

oolala53

Late to the party-on-hiatus, but congrats! Hope to see you again when you feel ready.

oolala53

So, are you posting on No S under another name?

oolala53

So great to hear. I've had my wobblings this year, but I hope to be posting something similar around the end of 2015, which will be my 6-year anniversary. (It's especially sobering to hear of your reduced food needs, as that is what I'm bumping up against. I haven't quite come to peace with it as yo...

oolala53

Let's all hold hands and get through this holiday season together! Every compliant N day will help us remember we CAN eat delicious food without S's so that they play the special role they should on Thanksgiving and beyond.

oolala53

I'm still trying to work up the motivation to exercise regularly. Knowing you do might inspire me. Sounds like you are maintaining your loss. Congrats!

oolala53

It's worth it, as long as we don't use it to bang ourselves over the head.

oolala53

Hope you stay with it through the holidays and beyond. Keep thinking of what it will be like to hit New Year's Day knowing you ate moderately. There is really very little real pleasure we miss out on when we stick to it. N days allow for so much wonderful savory food! I'm looking to rejuvenate my ef...

oolala53

Wish I felt more sanity today. Still struggling with the whole thing. I so miss the sense of vitality and lightness I had for so much of the time. I wish I could be more grateful for how few physical problems I have. Other people suffer from a lot worse problems that interfere with their enjoyment o...

oolala53

Never heard of not permitting walking or biking to school. Is it a dangerous neighborhood? Maybe terrible traffic? If not, that is a terrible shame. To take away the chance to develop the habit of walking for transportation. Aaargh! But maybe it's a safety issue. I assumed the "no computer time unti...

oolala53

Glad I could bring some calm, though I was looking at one sent in an email this morning! I almost let myself off the hook since I am at over 30% bodyfat. You, however, ... come on, girl! I also get the newsletter from the Blue Zone people. NO mention of bodyfat in that group. Moderation all around. ...

oolala53

Glad I could play a part.

Enjoy every bite!

oolala53

"all I have to do is plan my 3 meals, eat them and enjoy them. "

You said it. Do that for six months. Then recalibrate.

oolala53

It's actually typical for changes to happen in a nonlinear fashion. Just keep going! Great advice re: motivation vs. discipline. Here's a tactic I've used. In your mind, keep maximizing the benefits you've felt and vow to minimize (again, in your mind) the pleasure you get from the non-plan eating. ...

oolala53

Did I read it right that the rest of the family does the plan, too? One sweet, one snack, and fast food once a week? I wouldn't have lasted on No S with such limitations. But the results of the plan are impressive, especially the longevity: 70% maintained the loss for four years. When people are mot...

oolala53

Welcome! And kudos for the commitment. It may not always be as easy, but it is doable, and as you've seen, the likelihood of anything else being better for the long run, without other mitigating circumstances, isn't very good. It took me several years to take off 40 lbs., but I had so many enjoyable...

oolala53

Welcome, Ingrid! And I applaud you for realizing that people who have always been slim aren't necessarily the best teachers for those who haven't been. How can you transfer to another person the lack of desire to eat when she isn't hungry/ Most heavy people either don't get or don't read their boyd ...

oolala53

It is likely you're going to have to talk yourself into staying the course many times over the months and years. To do that, you've got to give up saying things like, "I'm never going to learn to eat healthy!" just because you make a mistake. In fact, giving mistakes any kind of dramatic energy incr...

oolala53

Thanks for your thoughtful post! Don't know how I missed it. Getting food down was only one of several common desires in our culture that I long for. I have always been working on them simultaneously. Those others have proved intractable despite what I consider to be just as consistent, if not more ...

oolala53

Welcome and good luck with improving the condition of your liver. Health concerns trump all.

oolala53

Weclome! Glad to hear you're committing to several months.

oolala53

Welcome home. Your exasperation with your other efforts will likely stand you in good stead. Try to let go of the idea that you are supposed to lose 30 lbs. Believe you are supposed to learn how to live with food. There is no point to wanting to weigh a certain amount if that weight demands that you...

oolala53

Dang it! I know the month isn't actually over, but I'm feeling like I can't commit even to the last week. Yet sometimes when I least expect it, it happens.

I did get in some exercise Friday night and Sunday.

oolala53

If you cannot honestly imagine leading a stricter life, there isn't much point to thinking a lot about weighing less. It might happen naturally over time or it may become important enough that the needed behaviors sound less difficult. In the meantime, try to enjoy your meals and life in between.

oolala53

Even four bottles a day would "cost" less than two of my coffees. So be it.

oolala53

The point is that even if overeating is like a drug, people change their drug habits, too. They get determined to expand into other areas of their lives, developing strength in non-substance abuse habits, and keep letting go of the drug habits. It is rarely a linear change. Unless you have a health ...

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