Everyday Systems

oolala53

No S does teach that small consistencies really do pay off. Isn't it nice to feel vigor!

oolala53

I think just acknowledging it can be part of it, and it is not just an OCD symptom. It is the NORM in many dieters, as reported by Roy Baumeister and was one of the most surprising discoveries because it seems so illogical. In fact, using an OCD technique can help. Acknowledge that the thought is ju...

oolala53

This has taken me an incredibly long time (coming up on three years!), but it is shifting. And basically, I'm just getting really tired of overeating on S days, just like I did of all the bingeing every day before No S. Sometimes I use some sense of willpower not to eat when I "could," but a lot of ...

oolala53

50 is the new middle-aged.

oolala53

" I seem to have forgotten that this kid is a separate human being, not an extension of me! " This is absolutely profound and I hope you really heard it. Doesn't mean you can't determine what rewards you are willing to give for behaviors you desire, but it's up to him. Your obligation is emotional w...

oolala53

I'm curious and I hope it's okay to ask: how hungry were you for the food you ate later in the day? Were you having it because you could or because you were really feeling empty?

oolala53

HA! Forget I like cupcakes!

freegirl, you are doing awesome. Your fails are small and you don't seem to be experiencing WTH. That is huge. Keep on truckin'.

oolala53

I think many of us here considered ourselves to be all or nothing people with some foods at one time, and none of us think skipping S days is a good idea, but I'm not going to fight you on it. I'll just say I have complete faith that you could learn to eat all foods in moderation in the right circum...

oolala53

No S is I think a better baseline to examine what foods we really enjoy and need. You may find you get the results you want eating a lot of carbs, or find after a time that you actually like the effect with less, but it will be while enjoying full meals and COMPARATIVELY little dickering over this a...

oolala53

I don't even own a microwave. And you're right; one could never do a pie crust justice.

oolala53

I appreciated getting the message that less at a time might be better for those that regular exercise doesn't come naturally to, as that's who the subjects seemed to be. If a person is naturally inspired to work out more, that's great! The study showed that people who were REQUIRED to do it tended t...

oolala53

I wouldn't cultivate jealousy for someone because she achieved the outer image. I'm so sure I am willing only to do so much to achieve the cultural ideal that I always question how people got where they did. I have no envy for people who are living as if a slave to their looks and the eating and exe...

oolala53

I don't have any books that seem especially relevant. In regard to sitting with him, yeah, I'd say give him the option of sitting together with you in a quiet family room while you read or whatever, and he studies, or you sit in his room. His choice. Tell him it's only until he actually brings the g...

oolala53

I use Spark for writing and being involved in my obsession with all of this, but I consider it healthy. It allows me to use my intellect on a subject very close to me, which was something recommended to me by a career testing foundation at one point. I certainly spend more time writing about how muc...

oolala53

The post sounds authentic, but yeah, the title is not typical. I think she's the only one who could change it, though, besides Reinhard.

oolala53

Yay for moderate eating.

oolala53

It's turkey pot pie weather.

oolala53

I'm not sure what to call it. Maybe checking in is a kind of training wheels until the inner balance is so solid. Maybe it's the price to pay for eating habit change in the midst of bounty. Necessity used to dictate moderation, to a large degree, I suspect. Having to create an inner culture and oute...

oolala53

In my opinion, yes.

oolala53

Sorry, I still don't think it's because of the warnings printed on the packages. "The authors attribute the success in California to the state's wide-ranging antismoking efforts. The state was the first to substantially raise taxes on cigarettes, the first to institute a comprehensive antismoking pr...

oolala53

Yes, taking bites as one prepares a meal is a habit, and it's not as if it's some terrible, fat-inducing one. It just undermines the principle of not having to be concerned with counting and accounting for our intake. Sticking to plates frees us from that accounting. Plus, dinner will taste better! ...

oolala53

Roxy, I don't think you should change a thing! Your eating sounds good. If you're getting some consistent movement in, too, you're golden, no matter what the scale says. Yesterday was a success. I forgot we are having a dept. lunch and packed a lunch for today. I'll take it just in case there's not ...

oolala53

Kathleen, I'm weighing in on your son because I was a teacher for an IB program, which is similar to AP. If I were you, I would not put out any more effort for him on this, besides sitting with him while he studies and on YOUR terms until he brings his grades up on the assignments that are due now. ...

oolala53

Nice work! I've spit out things I tasted, too, for practice and because I didn't want to dull my appetite for the meal. Not sure how much little kids need to eat between meals. I don't think I'd have all foods available all the time, but might ask pointedly once or twice between meals, are you hungr...

oolala53

Given your history, I agree that this is a smart way to proceed. It's best to do what you consider fair and reasonable, so that when the urges come to eat at undesignated times, you can remind yourself that it is ultimately fair to limit yourself the way you've decided to. You are feeding yourself m...

oolala53

It sure is!

oolala53

Sarahkay, I hope hope hope you stick to this through all its phases to get where you want to go. You sound so much like I did thirty years ago, but I didn't have No S. Correction, I had a version of it but I doubted too much and let it go. Well, even God can't change the past, and it must have all h...

oolala53

Roxy, I would not have skipped dinner (as you saw I did on my thread) if I had not had a snack, even if I wasn't particularly hungry, so S days aren't completely about hunger, as of now. I might have skipped dinner if I had a lunch WITH a sweet and was not hungry. But it is not to lose weight! I rea...

oolala53

These fitness goals have been shown to give you the most bang for your health buck as anything. Moderate working out makes the biggest effect. More effort does pay off, but in much smaller increments that make the further effort questionable, unless one really enjoys the extra activity or wants to p...

oolala53

I thought your name looked familiar. I found I responded to you on your other check in thread.

oolala53

I'm wondering why you said you "turned it into an S day." Wasn't it a Saturday already? Yes, getting over the "what the hell" effect is huge. In fact, it's cited by many successful maintainers on the National Weight Loss Registry for being the turning point for them. They quit using slips and minor ...

oolala53

Hi! I haven't read every post so I may have missed this, but am curious about your not having any breakfast many days. And I also wonder if you're actually stomach hungry when you eat in the afternoon, or are you just feeling you are owed a meal? I hope it's okay if I offer some suggestions. Remembe...

oolala53

Welcome! I gently suggest you try to think more of establishing a workable eating plan for moderate living rather than thinking this will take those pounds off. Even if it doesn't, I think it's a more relaxed way to live. Food is in a proper place in life, allowing for enjoyment several times a day,...

oolala53

Not only not buying snacks but not having to worry that you have food with you or available at all times is a relief, I think you'll see. I just cringe now when I read of diet advice that recommends that people carry precise snacks. Good golly, nothing like reinforcing the attachment. And a tea brea...

oolala53

This can change, and you might go through a stage where they get attractive again, but that passes, too. Enjoy the honeymoon!

oolala53

Some prodigal sons become our best successes! I look forward to your testimonial a year from now.

oolala53

Emily, a teaspoon of sugar in your tea is considered acceptable. The assumption is you're drinking it for a little break and not to get your liquids in, which might have you drinking a lot more. Reinhard's big on water for thirst, but he reminds all that is his opinion. Pretty cool about being able ...

oolala53

I don't believe you ever looked like the Michelin Man except to yourself. But it's a great image! I'm surprised sometimes by how soft some of my male high school students look. They aren't necessarily big, like the Pillsbury Dough Boy, but I often think they look like a finger poked in a stomach wou...

oolala53

Just wanted to let you know that at your present weight, you would weigh less than 81% of the women in your same age/height peer group in the United States. (Not that that's the point.) If you've found a lifestyle, you've probably found your weight. If you can't live like this permanently, you might...

oolala53

I try to have some foods I can take in the car and eat in the morning, if I need to. Some say not to eat in the car but I find it's actually more relaxing to eat when I'm on the freeway than sitting down at home feeling antsy to get going. I have bread with a nut butter and maybe raisins or a piece ...

oolala53

I didn't get through my event without eating, even though there was no great sweet. However, I ate much less than I usually do and didn't feel full at all. I still stuck to my plan to eat dinner only if I got hungry. I didn't. It's now 9:52 p.m. so I guess I'm going to bed without my supper... but I...

oolala53

Got it, Roxy. Tx. I made a little set of cards ala Beck. Some are what she calls "advantages" and some are "response" cards, responses to reasons our minds come up with to overeat. Some of them for me today are "The less I eat randomly when I'm not hungry, i.e., snacks, the happier am." And "Random ...

oolala53

Hi, Clara. WElcome! Browse the boards. There's a lot of great stuff here. The stickies are especially good, but the general discussion board gets repeat questions all the time. It might be worth it to look over the last few months of input, even if it's a little time-consuming. Not all the contribut...

oolala53

Hi, Deb. I saw on another thread that you are feeling inspired again. I'm so glad! I want so much for you to experience some relief. I've been basically okay, though had a "bad" weekend. And I do have small fails many evenings. This can put a damper on my peace at times, but I try to keep things in ...

oolala53

Don't you get a dinner break at work? If not, I'd try to eat a substantial dinner before work, even if it is early, just to keep to a routine relatively close to the cultural scheme. You can always have some hot milk when you come home, if you're hungry. Be sure not to confuse urges to eat in the ev...

oolala53

Hi, Momma! I think you meant you don't take S days. Glad you're not having to eat to assuage the nausea monster anymore. Your plan sounds good. Remember to attack/ignore those thoughts that say that this bite won't hurt, I'll just eat these scraps, etc. It can be SO automatic and make so much sense ...

oolala53

re: quality Ss. I'll say! Thanks for the scrumptious links.

oolala53

I know it sounds even more difficult to do than thinking about slow weight loss, but I ask that you keep thinking about just the idea of ordering your eating for the sake of not feeling like food is in charge. You just can't rush the stages of mental and physical "healing." You're usually not the sa...

oolala53

Happy Birthday. What kind of S did you have?

oolala53

Good luck mid-week. Eat good meals! Esp. on Wednesday. Perhaps order a special coffee/mocha at the ice cream parlor? And tell them you wish you were hungry, but you're just not.

oolala53

Oh, I had it backwards. HCG was first. In that case, Paleo did a good job.

Boy, isn't it all complicated. It's amazing the problems abundance can create. At least it doesn't sound like you won't enjoy yourself to some degree back on Paleo.

oolala53

I appreciate the posting even though I'm not here to lose the most weight I can in the least amount of time or any of the usual goals. Besides, for me, 60 minutes is moot until I'm doing 30 consistently.

I'd like to see who is still working out at a similar rate two years later.

oolala53

I wrote a really long (even longer than this!) response but decided to just keep it separately because I so often go overboard. (Apparently, food is not the only thing I overdo, though food less so these days...) If you would like to read it, I'll send it to you or post it. I'll just humbly say that...

oolala53

Have to warn you. From my own experience, I think you have to through a phase in which you possibly eat a little more than you "should", i. e., lose a little control WITHOUT FEELING BAD ABOUT IT before you lose the sense of fear that you are going to go overboard. I don't know how long that will tak...

oolala53

Yes, you don't need to lose weight as much as you need to learn reasonable eating habits. You're not going to permanently lose and keep weight off without them. And if you have truly been overeating, it is likely you will lose weight. Why do you think your willpower is so low? Are you upset with you...

oolala53

You know it!

oolala53

I was out of town and not online much so am just now getting to this message. Wait, you're down 26 lbs. since JUNE? (What percentage of your previous weight is that? I always go by that.) That must feel pretty amazing. Anyway, I knew from your thread that you were having a much better time, and this...

oolala53

Berry, I think in the first post, it sounds like the same thing, no? Does this mean you end up eating fewer than three meals? I know when I'm not working, it sometimes feels like two meals is enough, esp. if lunch is a bit chunkier than it is during the work week.

oolala53

Haters?

oolala53

Give it time. I can walk by stuff that would have been impossible to pass up two years ago. In fact, I was in a Wal-Mart (24 hour; needed anit-itch cream bad late at night) yesterday and passed by many former "lovers" with just a glance. Yes, you can dance on the edge. I wouldn't have bought anythin...

oolala53

Just as a suggestion: I've made a similar recipe but I usually throw in some similarly cut acorn or other winter squashes as well. I try to bake or roast to capacity when I do and find most of these keep well. (I'm single, so foods don't get eaten up fast, but I like to be efficient with resources, ...

oolala53

Once you eat sugar, you DO not stop. It's not that you can't. It's just that you haven't so far. Swearing off sugar or any other food has a terrible success RATE. Some have done it and preach it, but they are the exceptions in long term maintenance. Never forget that. I struggled with sugar on S day...

oolala53

Probably not more than 100-150 cal. a day, but I'm guessing. I love my mochas, but mostly, I'd rather chew. As someone else said, don't give up anything that seems like it's a really pleasant addition to your life. If you notice yourself getting too full, see what bites and sips could be foregone wi...

oolala53

Month after month, year after year of compliant N days. If it's not meal time with food on a plate, don't eat it. Not much phases me anymore on N days. If you haven't been at it for a long while, hop on the advice given.

oolala53

Cigarettes have warnings on the side, too. I don't think it's made the difference in decreased smoking. Not sure what would. I hope the commercial helps in France. Interestingly, the French eat more dairy than the other "Mediterranean" countries but have, or did have, the lowest of incidence of hear...

oolala53

Fantastic news!

oolala53

Kathleen, you are doing it again. You are looking for a reason No S cannot work. With all due respect to Bluebunny, you look to the person who offers an experience of present difficulty rather than those who have felt similarly and have gone past it (at least for now). Then you attach it to a previo...

oolala53

Kathleen, if you are pathetic for your eating, we all are, or have been. I used to buy a bag of Hershey's kisses plus other sweets for the weekends and start eating them at midnight on Saturday. Talk about not lasting five hours. If you've ever read my daily thread, you saw that I struggled with S d...

oolala53

I'm rarely inclined to want to overeat on N days. Latte or mocha in between meals is always available or enough for true hunger or the extant need for "fun," such as on days like now, a vacation day when a nice coffee in the afternoon at a little cafe, though I'm not hungry, feels reasonable and san...

oolala53

So glad you're here. I highly encourage you not to lay the pressure on yourself in the beginning to lose that last 40 lbs. Let that be the side effect. But do be calmly serious about eating what you know are reasonable plates/bowls of food on a consistent basis. Try to think less of being healthy th...

oolala53

Turns out I had some extra time because it's raining and my host asked if he could run a few errands, so here I am. You must know I'm ecstatic that you feel just inside your "normal" BMI range is your goal, as I vowed that that would have to be enough for me. I maintain at mine rather easily even wi...

oolala53

I personally love getting the dieters back. Come home to Mama! Commit to moderation in food and consistent movement and leave the quest for a celebrity body behind. If you must diet, diet on media images and anything that tells you that you should be thinner, at least for now. Get your No S mojo bac...

oolala53

I've been at this 32 months. My problem was bingeing, mostly on sugar. I've lost 16% of my weight and am just barely in the "normal" BMI range. (no consistent exercise) I consider myself a success even though there are some people who come to No S at my height weighing what I do and considering them...

oolala53

Yes, do it. You can always have coffee or a drink, right? Don't make a big deal about it to others. Just try to wave the food off. Or contact your inner take-it-or-leave-sweets girl. I know there were always girls who just didn't like sweets that much. They weren't trying to lose weight. They just l...

oolala53

Oh, I was just mentioning them because I knew of them. I've known a couple of people who had surgery but I didn't know if it was the kind you are considering. One of them has gotten quite slim and is glad she did it. For her surgery, she had to lose 40 lbs. on her own. When she did, I asked her why ...

oolala53

Depending on who is doing the interpreting of the data, there is some defense of the idea that it is indeed better to be FAT and active than sedentary and thin. There are even data that have shown that excess muscle is as problematic as and possibly more so than excess fat. Thre is definitely data t...

oolala53

Look for the 5-year results, not the 3-month results. Unfortunately, the procedure doesn't have a long history, so the jury is out. This looks like an interesting site. http://www.thinnertimes.com/weight-loss-surgery/vertical-sleeve-gastrectomy/vertical-sleeve-gastrectomy-candidates.html I do know o...

oolala53

And possibly consider whether it's worth it to let habits go completely when on vacation. It takes less time to form the habit of eating (snacking? sweets? seconds? which one got you overseas?) than of not eating. But this sticking to N days on vacation should happen when it doesn't feel like a huge...

oolala53

oolala53

There's a big gap between morbid obesity and the low end of the "normal" BMI range.

oolala53

Exactly. Pun was intended.

oolala53

I didn't say there shouldn't be any bedroom talk, as long as it's done with "taste." And this crowd is definitely tasteful.

oolala53

Are we still talking about the bedroom?

oolala53

There is already a HUGE case for the other side. Almost everywhere you look.

oolala53

It still means the huge majority of people have not found success at weight loss by counting calories. And Baumeister-Willpower-(I'm pretty sure) said that the majority of people who started a traditional diet weighed more two years later, regardless of short term success. In fact, going on traditio...

oolala53

Reinhard says there is no before and after. Only before and during. So we're all during. How long "it" will take any one person is very unpredictable. There are many factors involved and I don't think anyone knows what they all are or how to calculate how they would all work. I don't think anyone he...

oolala53

I've eaten my meals slowly for years. It's bingeing I don't do slowly. Thankfully, No S has helped decrease that exponentially.

oolala53

Keep up with us.

oolala53

Behind on emails but the sentiment is the same. Great news

oolala53

The 3% I'm talking about doesn't come from their stats, but from the general consensus that about 97% of those who attempt to lose weight actually do and keep it off for any length of time. NWLR represents those who didn't quit. I think I read that on NWLR that 75% of the maintainers report that the...

oolala53

"If an accountant can't do it long-term, who can?"

According to the National Weight Loss Registry, 75% of the 3% who make it to goal and keep it off. Them 'r some tough odds.

oolala53

I know what hungry feels like, and I like it. But I'd rather not think about having one fist of food at a meal.

oolala53

I understand there are exceptions, but again, I think they are exceptions. I hope more of them can find their way as you have. I think those of us for whom moderation is working actually would help because we support of culture of sanity around food. The careening between fat hatred and food excess ...

oolala53

I stumbled on this woman's (Ellyn Satter) site while looking at non-diet techniques for overcoming overeating. It was an intriguing concept. I guess another therapist calls it "normal" eating. Besides the idea of snacks, which the author doesn't insist on, and the idea of stopping at full, which you...

oolala53

I've been bingeing on reading about diets and eating because I told myself that I was going to stop reading them as of my birthday this year. [I may have to extend it to New Year's.] While reading about calorie limits, low fat, counting points, and such, I just feel a frown on my face all the time. ...

oolala53

When I have streaks of anything, it's usually something I notice afterwards. Look at that! I had 21 days! It doesn't help me much to set such goals. I get more enthused by the experience as I go. I hope you stick with this. The odds are nothing else out there will get you where you want to be [and s...

oolala53

Excellent!

oolala53

I've been doing okay, in my opinion, even though I've had small fails most nights. I feel okay because I still have so many afternoons at school on which the thought will come to go buy binge food and suck it down. It's pretty easy to ignore it now, but it still comes. So an extra piece of bread or ...

oolala53

Yes, that kind of eating was actually my bane. Besides the guilt, how do you feel afterwards? I actually don't usually feel guilt as much as disappointment but my biggest motivation lately is the difference in how I feel. I'm full for a long time, it whacks out my appetite even into the next day; I ...

oolala53

Well, great to se you again. A year since you checked in! It's pretty easy for that to happen, though it hasn't happened to me yet with No S. I've been pretty much not checking in with housework for most of my adult life. I'm in my 32nd month and I've never been completely happy with my S days, but ...

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