Everyday Systems

oolala53

I don't know. I've had some very good holiday experiences on No S. Just not this one. Glad it's over.

oolala53

I wish that were it; then it would be over. I know mine is about having time but not accomplishing important tasks that are not my favorites. Back on plan today. Man, was I hungry for dinner. It felt pretty good, although I may have let it go a little too long. I went to pick up a book from a librar...

oolala53

Good luck no matter what you choose to eat at your meals. Just stick to the meals whatever you do eat at them. Drink your coffee, milk, or other beverage between your meals. You are going to love this.

oolala53

I've been pretty good with eating. Terrible with exercise. I'll be going to dance camp on Sunday, not ready at all. It ends the same day as this is supposed to for me.

I want to start another round. Should I start a new thread or just keep going with you here, tobiasmom?

oolala53

I think one of the differences between us overeaters is thin people expect to eat a lot sometimes and don't think much of it. We keep thinking we never will again and are super disappointed in ourselves when we do, probably imagining it will all come back. Maybe it has before. I don't know, but I've...

oolala53

Well, having a pretty wild weekend. Wasn't going to take today, July 4th, and then did. I know it's all over relationship and work. Didn't I learn before that this is not a good strategy? Guess I needed it again. Maybe I need more practice letting go of guilt.

oolala53

Saturday ended up being rather wild. Cookie dough, cookies and ice cream. At least I'm now bouncing around a couple of pounds lower than I was 6 weeks ago, but if this keeps up, I'll have to up my weight in my signature.

oolala53

It's starting to warm up in San Diego, though we probably won't get our 100-degree days until September. Our inland valleys will probably get there on the 4th.

oolala53

This is fantastic! Hanging in there and losing weight though you had slip-ups! Congrats.

oolala53

No need to apologize. This board needs to work for you. Keep going!

oolala53

Though failures should not bring you down, just say no to them if you can, and you usually can. Keep N days sacred. I try not to regret much, but I'd say I think fence around the law on N days is a bigger deal than resorting to mods on S days. Meaning I regret more the slips of eating after dinner (...

oolala53

Doesn't that Latin phrase mean more like no pain, no gain?

oolala53

You see, everything is interconnected.

oolala53

I'm assuming you understood the spirit in which the "weird" statement was made. I should have added, and so am I! I call myself the fringe element, though the real fringe makes me look pretty tame. But see? Where did you say you hang around your husband's clubs? We have found our tribe! It seems a s...

oolala53

Gosh, I love biscuits, too.

oolala53

Good call.

oolala53

Got through today. I wasn't hungry much, but I just didn't want to skip meals. I virtual plated dinner because I had a burrito out and I wanted some Activia, which I bought and ate on the way home.

oolala53

Funny you should say that because I had a failure last night! But you know, even as I ate, I felt pretty good. I decided not to fight it and to be okay with me. Today I aim to be fine, though I did think about going to a movie or reading at a coffee house to be away from home.

oolala53

Not about phasing in, but I had a fantastic first three months last year when I started, then floundered for months and months. I'll be writing a testimonial soon. Suffice it to say for now that no matter what you do, don't give up on getting to Vanilla No S. I'm still not to goal weight, but I real...

oolala53

Welcome back. If you can get used to not eating a dessert, I would think you might get used to a fruit at dinner. Or just skip it. After all you've been through, I think you must have seen that it's usually just a matter at getting over the first few hurdles. It isn't as if you're suddenly going low...

oolala53

Yahoo! But life might surprise you...

oolala53

Sometimes, distractions are good when you eat, though I agree that most people don't pay attention enough to their food. I eat alone a lot, so I don't have pauses for conversation. I find that some distractions can slow me down. I will pay attention to something on the computer or stop and read a pa...

oolala53

What a happy time!

oolala53

Please give it the best effort you can (it's got to be easier than the others!) and consider committing to two years. From my looking at others' explanations of how they healed compulsive eating and from lack of recidivism on the National Weight Control Registry, two years seems to be a minimum for ...

oolala53

Don't count on chopsticks slowing you down for long. I can shovel it in with them pretty fast! And I learned to use them as an adult.

For that matter, try eating with your non-dominant hand.

I will remain an equal opportunity eater.

oolala53

I sometimes wonder if I've glommed onto N S too tightly, but I've decided my ability to make random good decisions about food has been so compromised over the years that I'm willing to stick to this and assume I am continuing to heal. I imagine a year from now I could deviate once in awhile on N day...

oolala53

Pangelsue, you are weird. So what? You're also right to want quality and not demand it of your local diner.

An old yoga teacher of mine used to say, "Why be normal?"

oolala53

Boy, I was thinking a lot about food today. I had that vague feeling of anxiety and the desire to eat in a way I haven't for quite awhile. I even at lunch early. However, I stuck it out and will be going to bed before it gets to be an issue.

oolala53

Here is the link.

http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=7770

I don't think he ever actually dieted, but he did get into moderate body building later. He eats a pretty specific diet now, but it doesn't hover in his thoughts all the time. It's just what he does.

oolala53

True that.

oolala53

Yes, that's an idea, too. Sometimes after wild S days, I wasn't hungry in the early morning and often felt that I wasn't ever going to get hungry again! Usually by lunch time at work, I was ready, esp. if I didn't have coffee or any beverage but water.

oolala53

Don't decide ahead of time what to do on your S days. Let those be the days you practice having freedom of choice. You're doing enough to plan and stick to meals on N days. Wait at least 12 weekends before you even think about it! This is not like a diet where you keep reading over and over what it'...

oolala53

You have now explained what I noticed before No S; that my worst times to overeat were one-to-three hours after a meal. If I could make it to three hours, I was usually fine. Most days, I love hour four on.And the first hours are okay now, too.

oolala53

What a difference a year makes. I feel very good about my eating so far this weekend, though I did have more than the equivalent of one dessert so far. But much closer to take it or leave it. So worth not giving up and letting N days do their magic! Plus no guilt on S days.

oolala53

Did you read my post on the main board about the guy I've dated off and on who lost 60 pounds over two years by releasing himself from guilt for what he ate? (I think there was probably a bit more to it, but I know he wasn't thinking about nutrition much back in the early '90's.) I know it can be ha...

oolala53

That is a good exception, SS. I don't know what the experience is like, and I have to trust that the person is paying attention to hunger cues and satiety at the meals as well. I've also read of people who use the plan for weeks or months but still never feel stomach-empty hunger. That is a sign to ...

oolala53

Many people in the rest of the world do fine on a similar diet. You'll know in a few months if it remains satisfying. I've come to crave veggies with my dense foods, but on occasion, I'll do it that way, too. The habit you are trying to establish is ballpark eating times of meals. What you eat at th...

oolala53

If there is anything I'd take out of the book, it's the reference to its taking three weeks to establish a new habit. I think people glom onto that are think everything is hunky dorey after that. Not so! The National Weight Control Registry reports that a minimum of TWO YEARS of compliance marks the...

oolala53

Let's remember, too, that obesity is only a risk. It is not a guarantee of ill health. But I think people often vilify heavy people for aesthetic reasons as well, as if the obese have no right to hurt our eyes with their presence. Speaking of knives, I may have said on another thread that when I liv...

oolala53

I had a brainstorm about how to have something that seemed like a celebration without going for the sweets on a Friday night. Even though I'm not working, I still feel like I want a release on Friday. I hit on it today. I often have a fresh baked biscuit made with whole wheat biscuit mix from Trader...

oolala53

Yeah, if you can't tell them, you can at least try to just distance yourself. They are entitled to their opinions and your worth is independent of them anyway. I hope you can rest in that.

oolala53

I forgot to post that I made it again on June 21. It might seem pitiful that I want to post here after all the time I've been on No S, but until I feel very peaceful about my S days, I'm going to keep doing it.

oolala53

I know Reinhard cooks, but I don't think he makes dinner during the week. Maybe because of that, he wasn't likely to say "no sweets-cooking/baking on N days." But it's not a bad idea. I know a lot of people here make their own sweets from scratch, but I've just about given up on that. I was very muc...

oolala53

May your family appreciate this time of noting the preciousness of life and death, and heal soon.

oolala53

Barbara Sher of Wishcraft fame and many other books and workshops on doing what you love tells those who want to market their work: if it isn't on Twitter, it didn't happen. probably not her idea, but still.

oolala53

I'm always getting compliments on pants I get at thrift stores. I've found some with the tags still in them! I guess they're from someone who bought them to try to inspire herself but ended up outgrowing them. I don't think that tactic works with many...

oolala53

Such a yummy feeling!

And if you shop right, you can be in a 10 sooner.... if that's important.

oolala53

Yes, but I think that most others see that as wishful thinking on the part of those who expropriated the word. Or maybe just a modern usage. When I was growing up, the word curvy meant hourglass, or at least busty and a comparatively small waist, so some pretty big women could be curvy, but not the ...

oolala53

Actually, a waist of 23 is part of being curvy because it's the difference between the waist, hips, and breasts/shoulder girdle that contributes to that effect. I also think voluptuous connotes a sense of softness, though that could be changing. I haven't looked at a Playboy centerfold in years, but...

oolala53

Oh, I'm single, I should mention. If I had a family, I would probably plan some and make more formal dishes that take more time to prepare--but I'd make enough to freeze for another day!

oolala53

Just wanted to spread the news. A tall, lanky man I've been dating revealed to me last night that he got very heavy in his twenties. Being from the midwest, he looked mostly beefy and others didn't think he was fat, but he knew he was overeating. He was doing counseling for other issues and the ther...

oolala53

Just checking in because it's Friday tomorrow. One more day to the weekend. Let's resolve to take deep breaths if necessary.

I've put up a new thread that I think I applies. Or will in a minute.

oolala53

I very much second the sense that being hungry can actually help you eat less at the meal. I find it is the exception that I want to eat more when I get ravenous. I just want to eat faster, but I fight that urge, and satiety comes with about the same amount of food, or even a little less. So I think...

oolala53

I don't call it planning. Over a period of years, I've come to eat certain foods. I shop and buy them to have in the house. I cook them in bulk and have them to make into meals with added sauces. Since I have the foods, when I go to make a meal, I just choose among them. I hardly even think ahead of...

oolala53

leafy_greens, you're back! or maybe I've just missed your other recent posts. Okay, I'm going to be slightly contrarian. I remember Aunt Bee on The Andy Griffith show. I know she wasn't considered sexy (ha!) but I don't remember anyone thinking she was unacceptably fat. My grandmother was quite over...

oolala53

Wait a minute. Can you not tell these women that comments about what you eat, your weight, and your body are off limits? I'm sorry, but you are an adult and adults can ask each other to stay out of whatever part of their lives doesn't actually affect the others. The fact that they have a problem wit...

oolala53

Oh, yeah, this thread. ha! I started it!

I went to meet a friend for lunch today and took the stairs to the third floor. I was huffing and puffing! We took an hour's walk after that, so that was good. Now my 14 minutes of resistance work!

oolala53

good insights. yeehaw!

oolala53

Promise not to hate yourself if you have a fail here. Decreasing the energy on it is key. The more guilt you take away, the less compelling overeating will be and you can pay more attention to your real hunger. It doesn't work in just two or three days and then is never a problem again.

oolala53

I didn't read all the posts through, but I want to say there is no such thing as a failure meal as long as it is one plate with no sweets. Any meal like that in the first 3-6 months IS ideal. However, by the time I started No S, meals were not my problem. It was eating a ton of junk food from 3 pm u...

oolala53

Making fudge on a weekday, Someone likes to live dangerously! I could imagine it already made in the freezer and not being a temptation, but making it with the fragrance. Are you trying to drive me crazy?

oolala53

wosnes, I love that line about not sending your willpower after too many habits at once. I'm going to use it!

oolala53

That is fabulous news! I've crossed that line a few times, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to cross back over again. I have no idea I'll get to the normal range as the last time I was there, I wasn't eating much and was exercising enough to get injured. But I'm refining my choices all the time and...

oolala53

Sounds like you feel you would be shirking an obligation as a good wife not to make "good" meals, and it's not acceptable to you not to be a good wife. I think sometimes underneath those things is a little idea that men will make stupid nutritional choices, living on fast food, if it weren't for the...

oolala53

I did not get tired last night until after 4 a.m. Only slept until about 8. A phenomena is happeing to be again in which I feel hungry for a meal and enjoy one, but then feel a bit nauseous. I had lunch at around 1 p.m. Normally, I'd be plenty hungry by now, 6:21 pm, but it's more like light sea sic...

oolala53

One of the wonderful things about No S is that you don't have to know what you're going to have for dinner! You just have to have it. yes!

oolala53

I know just what you mean. It does take a kind of internal sea change to not see food as comfort anymore. I know Reinhard mentioned ONE time in the book that it was not a good idea to turn to food for emotional hurts, it was a very bad idea. That was it! Just shows how dang sane the guy was from the...

oolala53

Gotchya about taking advantage of eating with people. I've lived in San Diego since 1980 but I still eat most of my meals alone, esp. when school is on break.

oolala53

Sunday went pretty well. About 1/10th the sweets I would have eaten six months ago.

oolala53

Daintycow, unless you have had several months of mostly green weeks, the answer is NO. With all due respect, I can hear the desperation in your post and you've got to chill! Four big bowls of ice cream? You say that as if it's an impossibly huge amount of food. Real bingers eat that before breakfast...

oolala53

I appreciate your sermons, not the least reason for which probably is that I love giving them! I wouldn't keep up with your daily check-in if I didn't. Can you imagine that I am actually now (17.5 months into No S) feeling a little sorry for the bad rap diets get? Ha! I say that because my meals now...

oolala53

You've already had a lot of input but I wanted to add that it might be important to consider the event in relation to the myriad opportunities in our culture we have to overdo food, esp. sweets. If we want to be moderate, and would also like to reach and maintain a weight that was average 40 years a...

oolala53

I think that is an absolute brilliant insight. I agree in regard to nutrition issues and I saw it in my reading of many self-help books, books on spirituality, and the like. I thought they meant that I was "working on myself," and had me believing that I was farther along than I was. Then I would me...

oolala53

Nice place to be, huh? Glory be! I'm also going to be the tough guy and say eating the cake on an N day was a failure, plain and simple. "Success" is following the rules on N days. It may be a personal success that you felt in control and that you had only one portion and that it didn't send you off...

oolala53

Hey, deb, isn't it great to have so many other voices telling you this stuff about No S besides me? I know you love me, but I know it helps to have lots of people tell you to relax. I don't know how long you're willing to give yourself, but it's taken me 15 MONTHS to have wild S days subside with no...

oolala53

Milliem, I'm sure you agree that insisting on having one sweet on an S day whether you are hungry or not or whether you really, really want it or not is not the same as having S days gone wild. Shoot, if that's all I had ever done, I would have considered myself very lucky. But I'm also very happy f...

oolala53

Did the pizza have a cornmeal crust or corn on the top? It sounded so good. Gosh, I have not had gelato in a long time. Not going to go out and get it now, but will think about possibly maneuvering to have some situations where it could happen naturally. What is SpiritSong? Sounded like a sane fail,...

oolala53

Went to a potluck last night. A year ago, the day would have been wild. I would have started picking at food, or eating sweets, much earlier in the day, almost like appetizers! Like a warm up! This year, I had my regular breakfast, though I wasn't particularly hungry. I had a friend over for coffee ...

oolala53

BTW, I am going to copy this to the "S day support for wild ones" on the main forum, too, for those it might help who don't follow me. Went to a potluck last night. A year ago, the day would have been wild. I would have started picking at food, or eating sweets, much earlier in the day, almost like ...

oolala53

This is hard to explain and why I started the thread. It doesn't make sense but for the first year I felt compelled to eat because I could. I was deathly afraid that if I didn't, I would lose it during the weekday N days because I hadn't gotten my yayas out. Sometimes, that did happen. As I said, th...

oolala53

That would pretty much be second round parthenogenesis. Middle aged immaculate conception.

oolala53

IMHO, Kessler is a little too dogmatic about avoiding those foods. If you know ahead of time that they are going to make you want to eat more, you can eat moderately, enjoy what you have and either leave or take home the rest. I sometimes ask for the doggie bag/container at the beginning of my meal....

oolala53

Homemade hamburger buns? You ARE a kitchen goddess!

oolala53

Ever tried popcorn with a little nutritional yeast powder and parmesan? Mmmm. Or a friend used to put soy sauce in a little spray bottle. Also mmmm.

oolala53

I just happen to be up. I remember when I would actually start eating chocolate at midnight. Then I read on another site that recommended something similar to No S not to count the new day until breakfast time. Thankfully, it's not that bad an issue now! I hope I do as well as I've been, but I'm not...

oolala53

Lot of grrrr factors there, Pangelsue. I feel ya. Congrats on skipping the random candy bar. Random is the new white after labor day. To me, random is the seat of all eating disorder. Ya done good.

oolala53

I've got less than a month left on this round. It turned out not to be a motivation to post this! And I've got dance camp coming up. I need to get into gear if I'm going to get my stamina up and help protect my knees.

oolala53

Success. I felt a little off all day today. Slightly nauseous after both breakfast, lunch and dinner. Don't know why. Dinner was very light, yet I feel no hunger at all.

oolala53

I know I've read that women (at least) thicken up in their 40's and 50's and then tend to lose in their 60's and 70's. Some stay thin after that; many don't. That definitely fit my mother. She got quite thick through the middle in her 80's but not in her extremities. And she was not a big eater.

oolala53

The metabolism does slow, but I can tell you from the 50+ Maintainers team I lurk on at Sparkpeople.com there are many older women who finally take off weight even after a lifetime of being overweight. I haven't asked how many of them are past menopause. I've noticed things getting better lately for...

oolala53

BTW, here is the link to one of the photo essays: http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1626519,00.html I don't know how to make it a one-word link. another product: either mugs or T-shirts that have before and during pics on them along with the logo. But not regular T-shirts for women. V-ne...

oolala53

Nice project, but I find routine things in my visual space disappear. When I've had a few more months of tame S days, I'll get the cup and flaunt it. I don't think I look good enough quite yet to have strangers or even most colleagues do more than give me a polite nod. Those who know me better know ...

oolala53

Thanks, Pangelsue! I think I wrote to you on your thread. I was browsing obituaries about Charlotte Joko Beck, my Zen teacher, and was reminded that she wrote a book called Everyday Zen. I had forgotten about the serendipity of it until I went to tell someone on another site about Everyday Systems. ...

oolala53

I don't eat all real food, either, but a lot. I think moderation works on all foods, if we are aware of what we're doing, but I would say I do feel more satisfied and best with mostly whole foods. However, I use commercial sauces just about every day and I feel great with them. It doesn't take much....

oolala53

I thought for sure I registered on DietHobby, but it won't let me log in. Should I start over?

oolala53

It's called No S Catch Phrase Glossary (add yours!) and it's the very top sticky on the general discussion board. Lots of fun there.

oolala53

Interesting. This is opening night for member on a Sparkpeople team I'm on, too. Break a leg!

oolala53

Thank you, everyone, for your kind thoughts. It isn't really sad as much as poignant, and as you say, I feel I will always have her, since she played mostly the role of a very wise teacher. One of my friends is going to print the picture that was sent to me, so I'll have that, too, to remind me. I h...

oolala53

What a cache! And none of it calling to you. I actually have two slices of chocolate cake and a lava cake serving in the freezer, but I am plenty full. It wouldn't even be fun to indulge.

Another great day for you. Good going.

oolala53

I think I'm going to start a thread about how you don't have to start out eating healthy. I do fear that lurkers get scared off sometimes.

Everyday Systems

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the advantage of objective and guiltless "failures"