Everyday Systems

Octavia

Hello dear Linda! I’ve just returned to No S after a few months where it all ‘went to pot’ and I couldn’t figure out how to get any sort of willpower going. My compulsion to just have what I want when I want it became too strong. But after reading a couple of helpful books, I seem to have sort of ga...

Octavia

Warmest hugs to you too, Auto and Pink Hippie! I have really missed my No S friends, and it’s lovely to be back. I was interested to see that you also read Dr Helen’s book, Pinkhippie. It’s certainly not a perfect book, is it - I’ve found a few mistakes and confusing things - but there is lots of ne...

Octavia

Back after a long break - hoping everyone is well, coping, managing to keep a sense of humour...I have been thinking about you all and wondering how you are. I would have checked in earlier, but as the demands of social media have grown, I’ve actually developed pains in my hands from typing, tapping...

Octavia

Phew - I can’t believe it’s been two months since I checked in! In that time, things have shifted in a few ways. I’m still not sure of my way forward, as my willpower seems to have dwindled to nothing, and yet it’s not all bad. Work is more settled and I’ve got used to the recent changes. I was very...

Octavia

Hope the reflux settles soon, Linda.
Have a great weekend.
x

Octavia

Great to have you back, Dalia! Hope things continue to go well.
x

Octavia

Happy birthday Auto!

🥳

Octavia

I certainly do understand. I’m in a cynical mood too! I had trouble sleeping last night because I was feeling so trapped, knowing I need to look after myself better but somehow not being able to. I can’t figure it out, as I have just the one child, and my work has a certain flexibility. Thinking abo...

Octavia

Felt really good this morning about the weight. But the frustrations of the day have gradually mounted, ending up in two lapses despite my earlier high morale and motivation. Work - didn’t get as much done as I’d hoped. Domestic - had to basically prepare 3 separate dinners and drive DD to her part ...

Octavia

Thanks, Linda! I have had a bit of time off the boards, thinking about a personalised plan for myself, but generally having no willpower to carry anything out! I’ve had a cold, so it’s just been a case of fighting to get through a tough work week. But it’s interesting you mention fasting, because I ...

Octavia

...I think the important thing for me right now is to recognise that I needed to have a couple of weeks of extra calories, but that doesn’t mean this is a permanent state of affairs and that all discipline must be rejected!

Octavia

Thanks Auto - yes, experimentation without giving up, without having tantrums, knowing that eating optimally in our society is difficult...we have to just keep trying different ways. I’ve just had a phase of splurging on chocolate, but I don’t want to continue doing this. I think I let myself get to...

Octavia

Thank you all. I’ve overeaten a little this week, but still feeling a determination to look after myself better. Work has been stressful, with lots of changes, and I have a cold, but these things are just reminding me that I want to prioritise health and energy. I don’t think my three meals a day ha...

Octavia

A quick hi from me. Haven’t been posting for a little while - you know, unmotivated about No S-related stuff, stressed at work, got a cold, really enjoying breaking No S rules, blah blah! Anyway I’m relating to a lot of the things you’ve said recently Linda. Especially those feelings of insecurity w...

Octavia

I’ve had a good few days. I seem to have been focussing on the idea of eating for energy, and tuning into what my body needs...keeping tabs on how much fruit and veg I’ve eaten throughout the day, how much protein I’ve had, how much water and so on. Without particularly trying to block my unhealthy ...

Octavia

Hi Dalia, This eating business is a real bummer. Excuse my French (do you have that phrase in Spanish? :)). We are just not designed to resist food. It is so hard. I’m not seeing any success either, I haven’t been truly Green for months! I just want to say, I sympathise with your feelings. But we ar...

Octavia

Dalia! It’s so good to hear from you. Hope you are well. x

Octavia

To grey or not to grey is a very personal question...but it sounds like a fun adventure for you right now, something new and exciting. You might find all sorts of new colours suit you! Also, it would be practical and easy to care for! You might feel really liberated. And if not, you can change your ...

Octavia

...I had to do my jog-walk thing in the rain, too! I felt quite hard-core. :lol: It’s true we are expected to be and do everything for our kids - I have memories when we’d take DD ice skating with friends on a Sunday morning, all go on the ice, then back to our house to make dinner for the friends. ...

Octavia

It’s my bedtime, but just wanted to say thanks for your incredible kindness, Auto. And I so appreciate those hugs. Yes, things have felt difficult since I had that accident. There have been a few things to deal with and my coping muscle is tired. I’m living too much in my head. But tomorrow is anoth...

Octavia

Ha! The lead wasn’t plugged in! :lol: I’ve been for a little run - the first of the season, as the weather has cooled down now, and I’m planning to replace my walks with runs, or rather, jog-walks, which is what I do. I didn’t push myself too hard, as I like it to stay reasonably enjoyable, but I di...

Octavia

Oh dear, it’s been a bad week on No S. Despite feeling very committed and good about it last weekend, I have failed almost every day. I think this is because I expect the habitual element to see me through, as it has done for a long time, but the bad habits have gained too much strength. Not sure wh...

Octavia

Thanks Candace!

Hey, I’m ahead of you now.... I turned 54 this month!

Octavia

Thanks, Auto and Honey!

Octavia

I want NoS to be the unsurprising way I live my life, not some special thing I need support for. I don't log into a community to make sure I brush my teeth every day or make my bed each morning. I really want to try to pretend I'm a conventional French woman eating the traditional French way, as if...

Octavia

Great points from Auto. I feel the same, the basic habits are so fundamental to me now, even though I feel I’ve been through a phase of relative failure! It really is a long-term journey and there’s so much to learn - I do feel I need to learn the same lessons over and over again sometimes.

Octavia

Take care Linda, I hope you have a refreshing break and come back to us feeling happy and strong. The boards can be a bit like Facebook I guess - it’s possible to be triggered by all sorts of random stuff. Will miss your posts but look forward to hearing from you again soon. X

Octavia

Sounds like you are doing so well, Pinkhippie! :) Yes, mother-style exercise...I used to pace up and down a short, unlit street in the pitch dark while DD was in an evening ballet class. This was in a nice little English village where stupidly there was no street lighting! I felt like a right twit a...

Octavia

I had a wonderful feeling tonight, realising that although I’ve been rather uncommitted to No S for a few months, the basic habits are still there without me even trying. In other words, I have owned them, they are truly my own, not an imposition. Realising this has given me a real incentive to carr...

Octavia

Hope you’re feeling better today, Auto. Fainting is such a weird experience. The last time it happened to me, I woke up going ‘I didn’t faint! I didn’t! I was just having a rest!’

It took me a few seconds to work out that I had indeed fainted...

Octavia

PS Auto, you should do that workout clothes plan. It’s a fab idea! Workout clothes have a deep effect on our subconscious minds, I think, leading to more energetic, vital behaviour! Someone (YOU!) should design a range of workout clothes smart enough to wear in the classroom or office.

Octavia

Thanks Auto and Sharon! That’s it in a nutshell. Freedom of choice, and I guess, playing roles, as ‘all the world’s a stage’...different days call for different roles. I’m a painter as a hobby and love playing with colours, textures and shapes. So I will always love dressing up. I think I often resi...

Octavia

...I’ve probably said this before, but I do think that superficial tricks can affect us on a deeper level. I think many of my self-esteem issues stem from points in my childhood when I felt excluded from the community of girls - I didn’t have the skinny body, the long hair, the fashionable nylon clo...

Octavia

Definitely. I often eat when I get a feeling of not knowing what to do next. Or I do know, but don’t want to do it. Beneath those angsty feelings are probably deeper feelings, neurotic blocks. But it’s not always like that: last night I was just congratulating myself for enjoying a spartan but thera...

Octavia

Thanks Linda! I wasn’t able to post much last week as the internet connection was bad. Not eating too brilliantly at present, but not exactly doing badly, and I’ve been focusing on strengthening myself emotionally. I seem to be galloping though self help articles and journaling like a fiend! The art...

Octavia

I love to see your process ; I think it is helpful for those who read it too. it’s certainly helpful for me, thanks Auto for sharing your journey. I too squash anger beneath other emotions - for me, to it’s usually intense fear. I seem to experience anger as hatred, and I get really terrified that ...

Octavia

Some fantastic stuff here. Thanks simmstone. I think I’ve always instinctively been aware of this concept - that there must be a pleasurable payoff - but it so often eludes me. I forget to enjoy No S!

Octavia

Good luck Trac!

Octavia

Thanks, Candace! Great to be back.

Octavia

...out of curiosity I just did an estimate of how many calories I’ve eaten today. I know it was just a guess, but it came to under 1500! Even if I’ve underestimated, I reckon I’ve had a very moderate day. So what did I do to achieve this? I had a small breakfast, I didn’t snack till this evening’s f...

Octavia

Oh rats, I’ve just eaten a few pieces of chocolate. FAIL! We went out to dinner and I had just a main, which I didn’t finish, and a single glass of wine. So far so good. But somehow after this, I was tired and my willpower was non existent. We needed to call in at the supermarket, and oh dear, I sud...

Octavia

...just popping by to say hi. Hope all’s well with you Candace!

Octavia

Oh, I just left you a big message then lost my internet connection and it disappeared! :x I’ll try again! It was a bit of a rambler, just saying that I too have eaten tons this weekend, and am now thinking of spending a fun hour making up new, personalised diet plans for myself! I certainly haven’t ...

Octavia

Helloooo! I think our posts must have crossed. Have left a right rambler for you! X

Octavia

Hi Auto, I’ve not been around for a while, but have been thinking about you, and my other good friends here on No S! First, belated congratulations over your amazing alcohol-free streak. I felt so inspired to read about all the benefits you’ve racked up. Especially the one about feeling there’s more...

Octavia

PS thanks Auto, for your comment above! Glad you enjoyed the conversation.

Octavia

Back again, after a spell away, simply not getting round to checking in, being too distracted. There’s been lots of extra work over the summer, some significant changes to my working life, and a nice little health scare which found me back at the old breast clinic. Nothing to worry about, I’m glad t...

Octavia

...for a moment I thought I was reading one of my own posts....the words ‘Pringles’ and ‘massive bar of chocolate’... :lol: I sympathise, flying! :) it’s something I occasionally do...refuse a nice polite snack only to go home and have something worse. Tricky! Willpower does run down. On good days I...

Octavia

Short is good! I have become the queen of the Flying Visit. The idea of a single ‘landlocked’ day brings me out in a cold sweat

Octavia

Same here, regarding the weighing. If I’m feeling reactive and vulnerable, I don’t do it. But I also know that I can’t stop completely - that’s when I’m in denial and have totally gone off the rails. In that situation, a brave weigh-in can get me back on the wagon! It’s a subtle tool...sometimes a h...

Octavia

Amazing work, Linda! Staying focussed on good habits while your mind is full of stuff. I need to learn from you. Also, I’m feeling inspired by your recent re-commitment to basic No S...maybe with No S being such a long-term thing, we are bound to have phases where we move in and out of it, are more ...

Octavia

I’ve just been listening to Reinhard’s podcast on Systemic Moderation. It’s a good reminder that while we need systems, they must be moderate. Reinhard makes the point that small things done consistently can make a huge change to one’s life. And when we come up with daily habits, we must take the at...

Octavia

Thanks Candace and Linda. Great advice. This is what I’m finding most helpful in what you’ve said: Linda, the thing about not rushing. YES. I am still only a year and a half into No S - and I recall Auto saying that she was on No S for a whole five years before she was truly ready to make ‘slimming’...

Octavia

Thank you so much, Candace! Virtual hugs back to you, too. Your post was a useful reminder that cutting back can backfire. Hey, I was only saying that the other day - then already I seem to have forgotten. Last night I found myself looking up daily calorie requirements and found that mine was about ...

Octavia

Hope the family get together went OK!

X

Octavia

Thanks, Candace! Yes, our issues are very similar, I think! I’ve had a very ungreen day. This morning my weight was up a bit more, and I was really fed up about it. I have snacked and eaten chocolate, very much in a state of rebellion, which I haven’t really experienced much since doing No S. I thou...

Octavia

Your mother had already gone to bed? That’s extraordinary! :shock: I find this totally bewildering - to use a non-judgemental sort of word - and you must trust your own reactions. I for one think they are appropriate. I can understand you being worried about how you’ll cope with seeing the family. P...

Octavia

I’ve heard of Heather’s Tummy Fibre! It sounds better than this stuff I’m taking, Regucol (I’d love have a job as the person who makes up names for these products. What fun!). Well I’ve now been taking his stuff for a fortnight and it has made me more regular, though terribly flatulent. Arghhhhh! :o...

Octavia

Hi Auto, I’ve been off the boards for a little while, so missed your recent posts. I wish I’d popped by to say hi. So sorry you’ve had these painful experiences. Like the others who’ve commented here, I think you’re one of the most strongly supportive and sympathetic voices on the No S board! And I ...

Octavia

...I agree with the others! This is barely a fail at all! :) In fact I don’t think I’d even mark it as one. You are doing amazingly. The good habits will be really getting embedded. (Even though I’m not at all strict these days, and rather unmotivated to be honest, the hard work I did in the first y...

Octavia

Hi Linda, Hope you’re well. Great to hear about Rosebud’s school! My own DD is off on a residential dance school this week - seems to be enjoying it, her only complaint is the food! Today, DH will be out for the day and with DD away, I actually have the house to myself for an entire day. We’re due t...

Octavia

Personally, for me, that hasn't been attractive because I have many days where I have no desire for sweets at all, and I don't want to start a new habit of "training" myself to look forward to a new treat every day. Good point, Auto - and I would still only allow sweets at the weekend. They are my ...

Octavia

Same for me, Candace! I mentioned before that it’s been a while since I tried to actively lose weight...and I certainly had forgotten the many down-sides of that approach. Frustration is one, as I said in my last post. But rebounding into overeating is another! After my week of eating smaller meals,...

Octavia

Thanks Candace! :) It’s been a while since I tried to achieve more than just maintenance on No S, and I’d forgotten how frustrating it is, expecting to lose weight. I’ve had a week and a bit of low calorie dinners (mostly) - and lo and behold, my weight has gone up. I know this is how it works....bu...

Octavia

Thank you Auto! Glad you related to my post. It was so hilarious though, that the very next day, matters were taken out of my hands by DH and DD who decided they wanted to go for a pizza! So much for autonomy! Ha! Well I didn’t get too cross, as DD did deserve a treat, I just went along with it and ...

Octavia

Me too!

Octavia

Hi Liveitup! So sorry to hear about your cruise stress - but glad that your little LiveWire is OK. I think we would all have done what you did - play it safe, get her checked out, even if it meant losing some days of the cruise. I hope she continues to recover well...and life gets a little less stre...

Octavia

Being a dog walker for the Humane Society - that’s wonderful! My heart is bursting! ❤️❤️❤️ You have done so well, Auto. Day 64. Fantastic. :) interesting that since quitting alcohol you’ve found you have more time, and are in touch with your true desires in life. This must be incredibly motivating. ...

Octavia

Hi Auto - I definitely think New Age stuff is valid and useful. The book I mentioned on overthinking seemed to me to have neither the inspirational quality of a New Age text nor the insight of a scientific book. I’m going to check out Clare Dimond right now! By some miracle, my weight has gone down ...

Octavia

Hi all, Thanks so much for these kind replies...I’m thinking now that I should have posted immediately I’d had the car accident, because I felt so alone. I could have used all your wonderful support. I was away from home for a work thing at the time, and couldn’t come back to DH and DD for a while. ...

Octavia

That’s the thing, Candace...snacking is habit forming, and so hard to limit, once you start. Even now, it’s a couple of hours before dinner time and I’m quite hungry. Definitely tempted to get a healthy snack. Actually I do have a Mod where I allow an apple in the afternoon! I definitely allow calor...

Octavia

Hi Candace, Just dropping by to say hello. I relate to a lot of your insights! I’m also 53 and somewhat sedentary - in fact I don’t do half as much walking or working out as you, though I’m trying to improve! I can easily eat enough chocolate for 4 people. Mind you, it’s hilarious how they write on ...

Octavia

Hi Linda - hope you are well. Haven’t checked in for a while as I’ve explained on my thread - have had some ‘stuff’ to work through...but have been looking forward to getting back to the forum and seeing how everyone is. I think I feel the same as you about No S - it won’t get me super-slim but it w...

Octavia

Hello Auto! Haven’t been around for a while, as my thread explains, but it was nice to come back to your interesting posts. A big thank you for the Personal Learning post you did on 17th June - I’ve been dabbling with Mindfulness recently, and found the Amy Johnson quote comforting and relevant, as ...

Octavia

Checking in after a long and unpleasant hiatus. I can’t say too much on our public forum, but I had a car accident which was very dramatic and yet no one was hurt. Wish I could say more. I have been getting over it, trying to immerse myself in everyday life and endure the nightmare of what might hav...

Octavia

I’m really enjoying your book ‘abstracts’! Thanks for sharing this stuff. It really is inspiring. Also, thanks for sharing those helpful blood sugar number details on Elizabeth’s thread! I have been looking at blood sugar monitors on Amazon. Might get one. Am scared. :roll: Hope your weekend goes we...

Octavia

Weight down again today. Felt pretty good most of the day, and ate very moderately, but dinner was delayed and I found myself going mad with hunger. Sadly I ate a few bread sticks as a snack. I am finding it very hard to stick to the no-snacking rule at the moment! It’s still a guiding principle for...

Octavia

Sounds like you deserve a holiday! A house move is bound to cause stress. Hope you get some good rest and recuperation soon.

Octavia

Hi Auto,
Sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling so low. You’ve been doing so well on your quest. Just wanted to send good wishes your way, and I hope this feeling passes and you bounce back soon. Hugs from me too.

Octavia

That sounds sensible, Auto. I haven’t had my blood sugars checked for a few years. Thanks for that. I’ve spent the last few days trying to look after myself better, stay hydrated and just eat normally. I’ve not been perfectly green, but have been moderate and have drunk lots of water and herbal tea....

Octavia

...just to clarify, and this is for my future self to read, my Monday evening binge consisted of one glass of rose wine, two handfuls of Twiglets, a handful of Pringles, and across the course of the evening, about 8 chocolates from a very luxurious selection.

Octavia

...oh dear, we had a party this weekend and the house was left groaning in wine, chocolate, pate and cheese. Although I was moderate at the party itself, on Sunday when I was very tired, I found myself picking at the bits. And worse, on Monday evening I cracked and ate loads of junk. This morning I ...

Octavia

Fascinating! I've just started taking probiotics, after being a lifelong sceptic regarding supplements. I'm aware my gut has never been the same since I had gastroenteritis in my teens, and my anxiety troubles started straight afterwards, too. Really excited by the fact that gut bacteria (and its ef...

Octavia

So, Monday is here, and after this little adventure, I’m back to Vanilla! And I’m not sure I have actually learned to fear overeating chocolate. This weekend I felt great after overeating chocolate and there have been no ill effects whatsoever. If only it was as simple as cause-and-effect! HAHAHAHA...

Octavia

I just don't care about losing weight right now. Really I just want to get to the point where food and weight are just a non-issue for me. I used to think that would happen when I got to a certain weight but now I know better. It’s a mindset. I just want to get on with my life. Certainly there must...

Octavia

The easiest way I cope is to find an extrovert who likes talking about themselves and let them do all the heavy conversational lifting. Bwahahaha! That is funny ladybird! The ironic thing here is that I am generally a talker; I just find mom talk to be so boring. So listening to someone else do mom...

Octavia

Thanks for the encouragement, Oolala and Linda. I really need to check in here more often. It is supposed to be a daily check in, after all The second half of the week didn’t go so well. I had one of my bouts of mild tummy trouble, and it made me (as it always does) subdued and low. I’m almost laugh...

Octavia

Yes!!! That’s exactly how I am feeling - motivated to avoid feeling bad later. I don’t mean bad as in ‘a bit guilty’, but highly uncomfortable/queasy and worried about what was going on in my body as it tried to deal with all the heavy processed foods. Also worried about letting people down by not b...

Octavia

PS. I too feel a bit outraged that your online coach rebuffed you. I get that they can’t give expert advice on everything, but they can surely listen and be there for you. What a painful experience. I hope the new guy is better!

Octavia

Sounds like you’re following your instincts well, Auto. Hope you get chance for plenty of self-care. This is a challenge indeed, but you can do it. Keep us posted and stay as strong as you can. Wishing you all the best!

Octavia

Thanks for the cheer, Auto! Having a good Saturday. No chocolate - though I forgot I was intending to cut out all sweets and I’ve had a few plain biscuits and small ice cream. But have not gone mad. I actually enjoyed my dinner - made roast chicken. I wonder if I’ve reached that stage where people n...

Octavia

What a lovely idea for a gift! I’m sure sweetpea will love it. Have a great time in Tucson!

Octavia

Great to hear the session went well!

Octavia

...sounds like we are doing similar things, Linda. I am cutting sweets from my weekends for the month of May, and intending to take real care not to lose my eating inhibitions in any way. It always leads to something bad. I need to find out if my eating really is at the heart of so many daily ups an...

Octavia

Totally! I’ve never been so tired as when I was teaching. And that was small groups and individuals! Respect and sympathy to you both!

Octavia

Hi from me too. I don’t have experience of anorexia myself, but just wanted to add my support. I have a history of anxiety attacks which makes it scary sometimes when I get hungry - though I know that’s not remotely comparable to what you’ve been through. :) I hope that getting through this challeng...

Octavia

Hi Ladybird,
Very much relating to these topics. That anxiety when the good habits don’t seem as well-established as we thought. Hope you find the way to that happier space.

Octavia

PPS. I love your motto ‘eyes on your own plate’!!! Here’s to that.

Octavia

Hi Linda, I’m so happy you’ve posted! I actually felt a bit emotional. This forum is incredibly special. We have truly supported each other, and it’s amazing to find how women so far apart in the world are living through the same battles. Anyway I love your new No S plan. I’m also busy formulating a...

Octavia

Hi Auto! That’s a great idea, having the same thing for one of your meals. I noticed from your thread that you did that! I too could do it: just bung an egg on a bit of toast. The absence of decision-making means that precious willpower is conserved for other issues! :) Every weekend that goes by, I...

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