Newbie Introduction

Lyra · Post by **Lyra** » Fri Jul 04, 2014 8:35 am

Hi everyone,

I have been practicing a "diet" that's somewhat similar ideologically to NoS for about 6 months, so this is kind of a "mod" for me. I'm curious how it will go!

I came up with my system "no empty calories unless offered" as a response to a slow but steady weight gain creeping up over the years. As a sort of Dr Jekkle and Mr Hyde eater (both very healthy and with lots of snacks), cutting out all the empty calories made sense. The idea was to only eat crap if someone else offered it to me, e.g. a friend offering a piece of birthday cake or when a friend makes desert at a dinner party. The hope was to hold steady with weight and arrive at my 50th in a healthy way. Maybe even to lose a few pounds.

BUT, for one reason or another (getting a more sedentary job, substituting the midday chocolate pick me up with something healthier but more caloric, feeling free to eat whenever I want ) I've actually gained weight on this plan. Not a whole lot, but those few pounds are discouraging...So someone suggested NoS.

So far I've done nos for two days, and to be honest, it's HARD! The hardest part seems to be closing up shop after a meal...I feel like I want to keep eating to ward off deprivation. It also seems to take a lot of mental energy to avoid snacking between meals. Does anyone have any advice for me? Does it get easier?

elegantportions · Post by **elegantportions** » Fri Jul 04, 2014 5:01 pm

Welcome, and congratulations for already making healthy changes by cutting out so many empty calories. The mental energy to resist snacking is simply something you will have to work through, but you may be surprised as how quickly things change. Your body will adapt to only eating at certain times. Getting away from food or distracting yourself by getting busy with something besides eating will help a lot.

Since you've already made the switch to healthy snacks, how about trying an experiment? Whenever that mood to snack strikes, think about what you would grab without NoS, then set it aside until your next mealtime, and drink a glass of milk or 100% juice to tide you over. When mealtime finally gets here, I think you will be utterly astounded at the pile you have accumulated. That's how much food you have been eating, and you probably need to eat ALMOST that much to get to your next meal without physically needing a snack. Most people are absolutely floored to discover just how much they have been eating a bite here and a bite there.

Use the HabitCal to track successful days and build a strong habit. I think you will be pleased at how quickly good habits can override your old not-so-good ones. Again, welcome to NoS and good job for the work you have already done toward becoming a much healthier you!

Lyra · Post by **Lyra** » Sat Jul 05, 2014 5:59 am

Thanks, elegant portions!

What really surprises me is that it's possible to go 5-6 hours without eating! I've been on the Mimi-meal plan for so long. Isn't that strange?

I do hope you're right, that the mental energy to avoid snacking will decrease. In the intro, Reinhard suggests that the habit forms in 21 days. That seems really short to me (though right now I'm living from meal to meal so it also seems pretty long) too

. What is the experience of long-time NoSers in terms of the time it takes to establish habit?

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Sat Jul 05, 2014 7:22 am

Lyra wrote:What is the experience of long-time NoSers in terms of the time it takes to establish habit?

Welcome!

I think many of us found that it took substantially longer than 21 days for this to become habit. Six months to a year or even longer before it's such a habit that you don't think about it. I do think that no snacking is the most important of the habits.

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Sat Jul 05, 2014 7:27 am

Welcome! Love your handle (is it from Northern Lights?).

I think 21 days is very optimistic, especially if you live, as I do, in a society that is constantly offering you snack opportunities. It's a good first goal, but don't be shocked if you get to the 22nd day and think "whoa, it is still hard to say no to a slice of homemade teacake at work morning tea".

I've been No-S ing for almost 2 years. This week I baked cakes twice, once on Wednesday and again on Friday, and didn't eat any because it wasn't the weekend. It wasn't a massive struggle, I just waited until Saturday. So, eventually the habit can become very strong.

Lyra · Post by **Lyra** » Sat Jul 05, 2014 9:23 am

Thanks Wosenes and Ironchef (yes, I'm reading my son Northern Lights right now and love the name!)

Yes, 6 months to a year sounds more like it, If I know myself... BUT I also know that I have limited reserves for persevering when things take a lot of conscious work. The "no empty calories" system took about 2 months to be automatic, but I never felt like I had to put a whole lot of energy in except for occasional days that were hard.

But No S is taking a lot of work, every day. I think this is a great program and I REALLY want to make it work-- glad to have the people here to support me on my journey

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Sat Jul 05, 2014 10:20 am

I'd also recommend the "Phases of No S" thread (it's a sticky thread at the top of this page) for some insight from folks who've been No Sing for many years more than I have.

By "a lot of work" do you mean mental work to keep saying no to food? Because I found No S made a lot less work for me, preparing, eating and cleaning up after only 3 eating events a day, with no requirement for recording or counting anything.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Jul 05, 2014 2:52 pm

Welcome! Hope we can help. I can tell you this: though I cannot claim to be a verified expert, I will claim that if you stop looking at diet books and start looking at research on willpower and habit regulation, you would see that this plan fits a better formula for success than much of what you've been exposed to. However, since we live in such a food-rich society, I think a lot of people need to be shepherded through the process. Thus, this board!

I've been at this 4.5 years and the first thing I'd say about its getting easy is that I believe if longtermers are honest, they'd say it isn't necessarily a linear experience. It gets easier and harder and easier, etc. People stay, I'd bet, because they feel the benefit even through the hard times, kind of like a marriage to a good partner. Because of many overeaters strong association between food and comfort/soothing, certain experiences can stimulate even old brain pathways that had been nicely overridden for quite awhile. But traditional diets are even worse at combatting that.

Remind yourself that WHOLE CULTURES of people live this way quite enjoying themselves, while statistically few people in the world limit their food intake by any of the other means proposed by the weight loss industry. Resolve to give yourself the best chance of succeeding.

I would caution against using drinking a caloric beverage between meals unless you are absolutely sure that what you are getting is a HUNGER signal, not just a desire signal. If you don't know the difference, err on the side of caution. These days, most of the eating most people do doesn't have much to do with hunger. No S can help resolve that. But if it's really hunger, drink away. I've lost all my weight having frequent mochas/lattes, just recently cutting down on them.

I suggest that you still try to tough it out for a few weeks, even though it's hard. Use habitcal or some little way to give yourself a tangible pat on the back each day, or for you, for each and every time you get from meal to meal without snacking. Ditto for each time you eat your meal and be done with it. Some people have been surprised by how quickly it got easier, so this may be worth it.

If you feel complete dread at that, consider easing yourself in by, say, being snack- free during only one gap a day, (the easiest gap) until that gets easy. Then add in the others. Even if it takes several weeks, so what? But you can't eat MORE at the other times on N days, then!

Something I was using at work until the summer break was not drinking coffee all morning, but going cold turkey sounded horrendous to me, so I started by cutting it out on Friday one week, then Thursday and Friday, etc. Before that, I never had coffee before I left the house in the morning, but I did make sure to have a cup early, and even a cup after lunch. I was looking to cut the habit of drinking often, not just the coffee. I won't say it was a breeze, but my pride wouldn't let me think it was too hard. I relaxed on it at home this summer, but will start weaning myself off it so that when I return to school in a few weeks, I'll be off the habit. So, you might try a day-a-week for all three S's, working up.

I also suggest that you talk back a bit to the thoughts that come up at times of temptation. When you are afraid you're being deprived with one plate at a meal, think, "Yes, I can't eat as much as I might like now, but I do want to cut down on eating and this isn't actually that bad. I know if I stop and get busy with something else, I'll likely feel quite full in a half hour or so." Re: snacking, remind yourself that you ate a good meal not that long ago and you will again in a few hours. You are not starving yourself, just adjusting the times you eat.

Our ideas will likely stimulate really good ones of your own. Yay!

MerryKat · Post by **MerryKat** » Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:57 pm

I have been at this for about 9 years with frequent detours when I start to think I could do this faster / better / etc. The bottom line for me is that it works when I stick to it!!

I agree with oolala that for patches it is easy and then I hit an emotional road bump and it is hard again.

One of the best things I have learnt is "Mark It and Move On". Don't allow a single slip to define a day or a week!

Every time & day that you do resist does give you the determination to stick it out the next time.

((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))

Lyra · Post by **Lyra** » Tue Jul 08, 2014 10:14 am

Thanks all! I know what you mean, Merrycat, about resisting building resistance. What I've found that works (so far) is journaling both my failures and successes, but really dwelling on the success moments. ...