no S pilgrimage, big decision

No Snacks, no sweets, no seconds. Except on Days that start with S. Too simple for you? Simple is why it works. Look here for questions, introductions, support, success stories.

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mommashell
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no S pilgrimage, big decision

Post by mommashell » Sun Jun 25, 2006 8:16 pm

I've been a total idiot on S days thus far, so I have come to a decision. I have to earn my S days. Therefore it's my goal to do 21 straight no s days. This means that even Saturdays and Sundays will be no S days for 21 days. If I make it for 21 days without any snacks or sweets, then maybe there will be less tendency to have two or three treats in one day. Less tendency to snack between meals etc. So either one of two things will happen. I'll totally go on the straight and narrow for 21 days or if I go off, I'll just have a little bit of something because I'll be thinking I really shouldn't be doing this so I'll have just a small ammount of something and it will balance. I'm hoping I can go for the first option and just go totally off snacks and sweets for three weeks. So there's my big decision. Starting Tomorrow it's my big no s pilgrimage which I must get through to earn my S days. And if I really want to challenge myself I could say if I go off I have to start all over. But I haven't decided if I will do that as it puts a lot of pressure on me.
Shell

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gratefuldeb67
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Post by gratefuldeb67 » Sun Jun 25, 2006 9:24 pm

Dear Shell, do what you need to do, but I have to really emphasize that cutting out your S days, instead of looking forward to them, is probably not going to be productive.
Use them to help you on N days, and then, just try your best to not go nuts on S days.
Eliminating them completely doesn't solve the problem of learning how to enjoy sweets and snacks in moderation. That only comes from practice.
Everyone here has had tales of S days "gone bad", but I'm almost willing to venture a guess that everyone who has had a bad S day, eventually learns to tame them, and if nothing else, learns something about where they are on this path...
But by all means, try to do the 21 days on habit, and include S days the way they are intended.
Just try to plan out what you will bring into your house ahead, so they don't get ridiculous!

Sorry if I sound contrary.... I really know what you are trying to do, but I think it's a waste of mental energy..
Just focus on N days being excellent!

Good luck with your 21 days!
Peace and Love,
8) Deb
There is no Wisdom greater than Kindness

Big Phil
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S days

Post by Big Phil » Mon Jun 26, 2006 12:16 am

Guys,
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BAD S DAY!!
They are your safety valve, the idea is you have five out of seven days where you are disciplined and eat very well, probably less than you need. Then you can do what you want on S days. IN THE LONG RUN, the good days win out. Well, it doesn't take too much of a long run to see changes though. If you drop S days you will end up dropping the lifestyle, because you are then converting it into a bad, old-fashioned diet that you just go on to lose weight, then go off of again and wonder why you gain it all back.
Once again, there is no such thing as a bad S day, enjoy them without restraint. If you must do anything try making only one day an S day if you want to lose weight faster, but always remember to come back to a default of two S days.
I hope this doesn't come over as too harsh, but I thought it needed pointing out. I want you guys to stick with it for the long term and I want more people to get onto this as a fightback to the diet and health industry!

Phil.

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operababe
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Post by operababe » Mon Jun 26, 2006 12:44 am

Hi Shell,

Thought I'd chime in with encouragement for you! Hopefully No S will become the way you plan on eating for the rest of your life. There are always birthdays and parties and weddings and other celebrations, that's the way life is, and we need a way of eating that allows us to enjoy those foods that are meant to be eaten once in awhile and in moderation. This means there's nothing wrong with eating one doughnut on occasion, as long as it's not 6 doughnuts everyday. But you have to develop these new habits that No S stands for. There's nothing wrong with going 21 days straight as No S days, hopefully the habit of eating 3 meals per day will become the habit you need to develop before allowing for S days.

There's a wonderful book by Linda Spangle called "Life is Hard, Food is Easy", and I hope you're able to order it on audio tape or in Braille. The author calls this book a 5 step plan to overcome emotional eating and lose weight on any diet. I know you've talked about stress and eating, and I can certainly relate to that too. This book has helped me a lot. Just thought I'd mention it in case you want something to help you manage those 21 days!

All the best to you Shell!
It's time to make it beautiful.

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gratefuldeb67
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Post by gratefuldeb67 » Mon Jun 26, 2006 12:47 am

This is from Reinhard's homepage :)
What if I am an idiot and insist on following the letter of the law but breaking it in spirit by (say) eating a gallon of ice cream every S-day and counting my second cousin's hamster's birthday as an S-day?
Then I can't help you. You will be fat and die young.

Seriously, this is less of an issue than you think. I haven't heard of anyone messing this diet up because they followed the rules during the week and overbinged on the weekends. But I have heard from plenty of people who anticipate this being a problem, burden themselves with weekend restrictions to prevent it, and then crack during the week because it's too much. S-days are a necessary reward and safety valve. As a group member succinctly put it:

S days should be S days so N days aren't.

("N-days" are short for "non-S-days")
PS... I agree with you for the most part Phil, but many people worry about it, and that's something that needs addressing I guess..
Hope you are jammin down in Adelaide!
Have a great day!
Peace and Love,
8) Deb

[/quote]
There is no Wisdom greater than Kindness

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operababe
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Post by operababe » Mon Jun 26, 2006 2:07 am

Thanks Deb, for posting Reinhard's thoughts about this. It's definitely something to think about.

For me, my preference is to have S days, and it's wonderful to enjoy an ice cream or a piece of cake and not feel any guilt about it. But I'll share that if I hadn't separated from my husband I don't think I could have stuck with No S like I have. I was terribly unhappy in my marriage, and didn't realize it because I kept distracting myself with a lot of snacking. Food really helped me to avoid my feelings. Marriage is supposed to be for life, what about my children, etc. etc., and it just seemed a lot easier to stay and eat, then leave and stop overeating. That's why I think the book I mentioned earlier may be helpful. If we feel we're eating to manage stress, then I think we're using food to escape, because you don't manage anything when you overeat. You just get fatter and more unhappy and more stressed. I think we have to get at what's eating us, before we can get a handle on what to eat.

We all know the saying "you are what you eat", and I read in another book that we often eat what we are. If you're unhappy, then we're more likely to reach for unhappy (unhealthy) foods.

Enough said. I leave this to you Shell. It's in your hands, do what you feel is best for you right now.
It's time to make it beautiful.

pangelsue
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Post by pangelsue » Mon Jun 26, 2006 12:30 pm

I agree with what everyone said above. I think it may be a mistake to ditch the S days. I have been keeping score lately with my progress. My current score is 22-2. 22 days on plan and 2 failure days. It has been working good for me. I added another part to the plan starting this morning. I will try to be honest with myself on Monday mornings. If my weekend was overall a success, I will count it as a success. If I went insane and ate everything in sight whether I wanted it or not, it will add to the score negatively. Maybe it will help to enjoy having a sundae after a cheeseburger without adding the onion rings and the fries. My weekends too often have been counterproductive to the plan. I will still have the treats but limit the number and scope a bit more. Just a thought. My notebook that I update daily looks like this:
S 197.5 15-1
M 197.0 16-1
T 195.5 17-1
W 196.0 17-2
Th 194.5 18-2
F 195.0 19-2
S 195.0 20-2
Week's average 195.8

Can you tell I am an accountant. I have been weighing daily since I started. It's takes a second in the morning to weigh in and write it down. Now it takes another second to add the score. I feel in control and I like the stats. Just another thought to confuse you even more, right. If it is too anal for you, just toss it out.

mommashell
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Thanks to everyone!

Post by mommashell » Mon Jun 26, 2006 1:19 pm

:) Ok, thanks to everyone for the replies etc. Let me explain something. First and foremost, I don't plan to completely ditch the S days. This is very short term, for only three weeks. Second I also allowed myself a small loophole, that if I just really wanted something on an S day and I had it maybe I would eat less of it because I was really shooting for 21 days. Now there are two things you need to know to understand why I am doing this. Last week I went down to 227 and then apparently on the weekend I ate more than I should have and gained four pounds which I will lose again by friday, making it really counter productive. Now... I don't eat a gallon of ice cream, but I did have some brownies and this brownie bottom pie etc. and a few tortilla chips and a spoon full of peanut butter. It doesn't sound like enough to make me gain weight like that, oh yeah, and a large fix and mix frosty along with my big bacon classic and fries from Wendies. That was probably the thing that did it, and the pizza yesterday and brownies that Wally made. So you see, S days, right now are too much of a temptation to just go right back to the way I ate before. Yes they are a safety valve, but I have to learn to really appreciate them instead of slipping back into bad habbits. Of course, part of that weight gain could also be because I haven't exercised. In fact, Yesterday I pretty much laid around all day because my leg was hurting and I just got fed up and went to bed and slept a lot. Not my usual style to lay down and whine when pain hits, but since I have no pain pills, I did the next best thing, slept so I wouldn't have to think about it. So anyway, this is only a very temporary thing. I will not completely give up S days. Only for this three weeks or whenever I get really crazy which currently is all the time. I just notice that I do good during the week and then on the weekend tend to gain everything I lost right back again, and to me, that is counter productive, and since I don't seem to know the difference between one treat and six or seven, I figured the best thing would be to just cut the S days for three weeks not so much to lose more weight but to get a running start, and to teach my brain on a subconscious level that S means sometimes too. And the Sometimes part is the part that my brain is not really getting. It's like on S days the bad angel on my shoulder says Ok, it's an S day and S stands for screw up as much as you want. So the 21 straight days on habit is just my way of training myself that S stands for sometimes. And if I mess up and it's an S day I will not consider it a failure because hopefully I will, with this short term restriction teach myself to reign in my desires a little. I would like there to be an overall decrease in weight not decrease increase decrease increase. As far as the exercise thing goes, that's just something I'm going to have to wait until my leg quits hurting so much to do. I hate that, and I'm frustrated about it, because I want to exercise, but I also know that my circumstances are special. Not the blindness thing, but the badly broken not quite healed messed up gimpy leg thing. My leg feels better today so maybe I just need to rest it more and quit worrying about whatever I'm worrying about that makes me get up and walk around on it and try to do laundry and clean house or whatever, and don't get the wrong idea here. My house never is spotless, but I try to do little things like the dishes and picking up things that get thrown on the floor whatever, all of which, for the moment hurt my leg terribly. Shoot, even getting dressed becomes an exercise in pain, but I'm not gonna run around with no clothes on, or not put on pants or shorts. Anyway, sorry if I sound old and crotchety. I'm only 35 and probably sound like granny gooch in the rocking chair with a shawl always wanting to show the family her gall bladder which she preserved when they took it out. I don't know anyone like that except on tv. Anyway, I'm gonna go. I have noticed that on N days I tend to not want to eat right when I get up. I think this is a good thing.

Shell

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reinhard
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Post by reinhard » Mon Jun 26, 2006 2:53 pm

Hi Shell,

No s is about establishing habits of moderation. This is hard to do. And it's hard in a different way than we're used to. "Extreme moderation," making an extra, unsustainable sprint of effort doesn't get us closer to the goal -- on the contrary.

You had an excessive weekend -- I've had lots. But big picture, it doesn't matter. What matters is if you derail your efforts entirely by trying to take revenge on yourself for this weekend. Revenge is a really bad strategy for this kind of stuff -- because ultimately it's fodder for excuses to quit altogether. Instead of balancing one extreme with its opposite, which sets you up for a destructive cycle of back and forth extremes, vow to pay back this excess only with its true opposite, moderation: in other words, determinedly ignore it. Need to do something with your sense of indignation? Give extra attention to what you're supposed to do already, instead of adding new things to pay attention to. Though it seems huge at first, indignation gives surprisingly few miles to the gallon. You don't want to find yourself stuck on the highway miles from home because you set out on an overambitious journey.

I don't want to discourage you if you really are determine to do 21 straight N-days. Just don't underestimate how hard that's going to be, and do consider that there is a safer approach. There's no shame in changing your mind (it's still 5 days till the weekend). And if you still want to stick to your guns after sober reflection, we'll be rooting for you just the same.

Best,

Reinhard

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gratefuldeb67
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Post by gratefuldeb67 » Mon Jun 26, 2006 9:17 pm

Instead of balancing one extreme with its opposite, which sets you up for a destructive cycle of back and forth extremes, vow to pay back this excess only with its true opposite, moderation: in other words, determinedly ignore it. Need to do something with your sense of indignation? Give extra attention to what you're supposed to do already, instead of adding new things to pay attention to. Though it seems huge at first, indignation gives surprisingly few miles to the gallon. You don't want to find yourself stuck on the highway miles from home because you set out on an overambitious journey.
Reinhard, this is a wonderful post!
I love the analogy you make at the end!
Occasionally I forget what made me join NoS to begin with (well not really) but then you go and write something like this :)

Thanks for your great way of thinking about this!
Peace and Love,
8) Deb
There is no Wisdom greater than Kindness

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