How Long Until S Days "Level Out"???

Anne-Marie · Post by **Anne-Marie** » Tue Nov 15, 2016 4:37 pm

I lost over 100 pounds on Weight Watchers over a 2.5 - 3 year period. It worked for me until it didn't, you know? I thought I had completely conquered my binge eating tendencies but they returned with a vengeance seemingly out of no where. So I gained back 25 pounds and felt that it was imperative I try a different approach before I sabotaged all of my hard work. I stumbled upon No S doing a random internet search on how to stop binge eating and immediately bought the ebook which I devoured faster than a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch! I'm starting my 4th week and my N days are on point. It feels so natural to eat this way and I am not hungry until shortly before meal times (I spent the last 3 years in various states of constant hunger) and I am not obsessing over food for the first time in probably 28 years. But my weekends have been binge fests starting around mid-afternoon. I start the day thinking that I'll be able to have some self-control but I end up binging which ruins my day and my weekend and makes me feel like a failure. I don't want to live this way. Weekends are the best part of life and I don't want to waste them gorging on food and then sleeping it off. So do I have some sort of binge eating disorder in which I absolutely have to create some mods for my S days because I'm incapable of eating "normally" without rules or has this been the experience for other long-term No-Sers? Like, maybe my 4th or 5th weekend is when things swill start normalizing? I have not weighed since starting No S - I figure I'll weigh after a month? So next week? I don't want to get caught up in numbers. I want a sane way of eating and I'm completely fine with slow weight loss. Thanks for any feedback.

Bluebell · Post by **Bluebell** » Tue Nov 15, 2016 9:48 pm

Hi Anne-Marie

I am still quite new to NoS and can echo many of your thoughts. I am finding this the most sensible and realistic diet I have ever followed, and believe me I have followed a lot!
I think I have done 6 S weekends so far and am noticing gradual changes. The first few were definitely 'how much can I stuff in my face over 48hours'

but in fact I was encouraged on this forum to enjoy my S weekends as much as possible, especially in the early days. If you have a look at my thread 'A little support in the early days please' you will see my worries around S days, and lots of sensible helpful advice from experienced No S-ers.
What I am now finding is that a) I feel less hungry between meals and just in general, so am naturally eating a bit less and b) sweet things taste very very sweet now so seem less tempting. I still have moments on S days of 'well I want to eat it so I will' usually followed by 'that didn't taste as good as I thought it would'.
I would advise against introducing any mods until you have given it a good couple of months, maybe more, to just get the habits ingrained. This is advice I was given and has helped me stay calm even when its all gone a bit out of control. Give it a good chance to start working.
I guess undoing my years of bad habits will take time, which like you I am prepared to give. I do truly believe NoS is the best way to conquer the old habits and replace with healthy new ones.
Good luck!

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Wed Nov 16, 2016 6:13 am

It was a few months before things started evening out a bit for me. My weekends are far from perfect now, and still usually involve several treats, but I don't often eat until I'm stuffed or feeling sick anymore, and that used to be every S day. Things did start to seem overly sweet to me after awhile--not always, but often--or a thought would kick in that hey, I don't want to overdo and feel sick.

I also started trying to eat very consciously. I try to enjoy and savor every bite of a treat, rather than scarfing down most or all of something and wanting another because I didn't really enjoy the first one. Part of this for me was also planning a special treat to look forward to. Making a treat something special and not just any old sugar item or snack item that crosses my path, you know?

Hang in there!

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Wed Nov 16, 2016 9:39 am

Anne-Marie wrote:Weekends are the best part of life and I don't want to waste them gorging on food and then sleeping it off.

Eventually, the reality of this will sink in and you will want to enjoy your weekends more than you want to overeat. But it may take a long time (months, years?) and even then you may slip up sometimes. The thing is, it will gradually get a lot better and be worth it while you wait for it to get easy.

Anne-Marie · Post by **Anne-Marie** » Wed Nov 16, 2016 2:24 pm

Okay - you guys have given me tremendous peace of mind! I will wait a few months to see if any mods are necessary and I will try to make my treats really special and not just unconsciously gorge myself on chocolate chips that have been in the pantry for a year. Thank you so much for your help! xo

Bluebell · Post by **Bluebell** » Wed Nov 16, 2016 6:33 pm

Anne-Marie wrote:Okay - you guys have given me tremendous peace of mind! I will wait a few months to see if any mods are necessary and I will try to make my treats really special and not just unconsciously gorge myself on chocolate chips that have been in the pantry for a year. Thank you so much for your help! xo

Good for you and good luck

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Nov 17, 2016 3:38 pm

This might not give you peace of mind, but it was pivotal for me to see this as a long-term strategy to start. I've been here 7 years and it took me 2 years to find a reasonable mod for wild S days. Most give up way before that, but we have returnees who regret that.

If it doesn't happen naturally, it may take some effort that will not be fun. When it becomes clear that the pain of curtailing the behavior is actually greater than the discomfort of putting up with the desire without giving in, it becomes possible. Another way of saying it is using one of Reinhard's: joyless. If you start seeing that there's very little joy in the S's, it's easier to let them go, even when they still call.

You may get there a lot faster than I did! But make N days your salvation.

Bluebell · Post by **Bluebell** » Thu Nov 17, 2016 9:24 pm

Oolala I have found many of your posts to be extremely helpful and supportive. You give a great insight into the journey of NoS. To read that it took you two years to regulate your S days - wow! I so admire your honesty and above all your perseverance. It has clearly worked for you and you are a great inspiration to me as a newcomer.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Nov 17, 2016 11:50 pm

I'm so glad I can be of help to others. I wish my high school students thought I was making a positive contribution. ..

The internet really feeds into that desire for speed. Some successful losers do actually have epiphanies that lead to big changes that they they implement immediately and never look back from, but the stats also show that relapse continues to be a high risk for five years and never completely goes away. I knew that early on, and it made me even more committed. I think I'm a bit of a hybrid. The commitment came fast, but loss took a long time (and wasn't my focus). But I don't think I would have been any more successful if it had, unless I had a correlated health condition.

Bluebell · Post by **Bluebell** » Fri Nov 18, 2016 6:31 am

Its so true about that need for speed. I never really thought about it, but on every other diet I have always felt a certain sense of urgency, a desire to get the weight off as quickly as possible. In part I think that was because the diets were so painful for me to follow that I wanted it all over with. And of course it was never all over with because once I'd lost weight, I'd return to my old habits and put it all back on, and more. Putting the weight back on also came with its own sense of urgency as I returned to eating all the foods I had denied myself, a kind of need to eat all the forbidden foods again. I've been stuck in this destructive cycle for years and as I write about it I feel a bit sad for myself. But also delighted that I have finally found NoS and hopefully have years of normal eating ahead of me!
Sorry for derailing the thread!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Nov 18, 2016 7:13 am

I don't think it's really derailing it because it's an important issue.

I realized that being in a hurry before had never helped the process go any faster. It didn't matter what happened in a few weeks. It mattered what happened in a year or more! An advantage of being old: perspective.

ModBod · Post by **ModBod** » Fri Nov 18, 2016 9:05 am

This is so helpful. I definitely need to start thinking in terms of years, and just focus on regular habit, rather than wanting overnight results (which I do kind of want!)

To focus on the sanity of the everyday, rather than judging my looks or the numbers on a scale... I think I need to tell myself this every day! It is such a help, even to think it took you 2 years, oolala53, to find a balance on the S days, because that does help me want to persevere and not panic while things are going a bit up and down.

Good discussion to have started, Anne-Marie!
I relate to your S days - generally they start well, and then they spiral and it's not fun. I have avoided these boards this week because I've been feeling down about being so rubbish at sticking with everything, but I'm glad I'm back because everyone just shows they're going through lots of the same processes... and then we have those people who've been here for a while giving hope that there's a more peaceful phase ahead when we've learnt to embrace the habits with a bit more calm!

naeman · Post by **naeman** » Fri Nov 18, 2016 2:37 pm

oolala53 wrote: The internet really feeds into that desire for speed.

That's so true! I know whenever I would visit Reddit after a failed diet attempt, I would always let myself be seduced by all the people who were posting about how they list 100 pounds in 10 months or something like that. I like your commitment to the long view of things.

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Sat Nov 19, 2016 7:09 am

Bluebell wrote:But also delighted that I have finally found NoS and hopefully have years of normal eating ahead of me!

Yes! I've had both of these thoughts--sad I did the yo-yo diet cycle so much, that I didn't find No-S sooner, than when I did find it years ago I didn't "get it" and stick with it--and delighted to have found it now, to be doing it now, and to look forward to normal eating for years to come--true lifestyle changes that are livable!

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Sat Nov 19, 2016 7:11 am

oolala53 wrote:It didn't matter what happened in a few weeks. It mattered what happened in a year or more!

Again, yes! No-S clicked for me when I realized this truth and that I needed lifestyle changes, not quick losses (that didn't stick and that turned into more gains).

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Sat Nov 19, 2016 7:17 am

ModBod wrote: I relate to your S days - generally they start well, and then they spiral and it's not fun. I have avoided these boards this week because I've been feeling down about being so rubbish at sticking with everything, but I'm glad I'm back because everyone just shows they're going through lots of the same processes... and then we have those people who've been here for a while giving hope that there's a more peaceful phase ahead when we've learnt to embrace the habits with a bit more calm!

That's exactly when you need to come and let us commiserate and encourage

.

Today was one of my crazier S days. I had a large Peppermint mocha this am (a typical Friday treat for me), numerous mini snickers at my friend's house this afternoon, and after pizza for dinner wanted cookies and baked up some frozen chocolate chip cookie dough my dd made earlier this year and had two giant cookies. And that's still not as crazy as some times in the past, but less tame than some of my more recent S days.

Bluebell · Post by **Bluebell** » Sat Nov 19, 2016 8:43 am

I had a planned non weekend S day yesterday, a belated birthday celebration with my two best friends. I ate and drank too much and went to bed feeling uncomfortable and overfull, with this thought in my head: 'No S days feel better than this'. So maybe I am making progress! And today I am not feeling inclined to overindulge (although its only 8.40am here in the UK so we'll see how the day goes!)
Again, thank you to all of you who post such helpful and constructive advice. Have a great weekend

ModBod · Post by **ModBod** » Sat Nov 19, 2016 6:41 pm

I have had my first 'successful' S day! I decided to not snack, but incorporate 'sweets' in with meal times. Ate a big breakfast... that included a slice of cake! And then we were at friends' for lunch, so that was also substantial, and haven't felt the need to eat since. Feel maybe it's the snacking element I want to avoid as far as possible as that's where my control and resolve goes crazy. We shall see. Anyway, it's nice to have got to the end of an S day and have the feeling of 'normal' that I gain on successful N days

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Nov 19, 2016 8:35 pm

Relief! and the good kind.

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Sat Nov 19, 2016 9:08 pm

Bluebell wrote:I ate and drank too much and went to bed feeling uncomfortable and overfull, with this thought in my head: 'No S days feel better than this'. So maybe I am making progress!

YES! That's great progress!

ModBod wrote: Anyway, it's nice to have got to the end of an S day and have the feeling of 'normal' that I gain on successful N days

Awesome!

freeandeasy · Post by **freeandeasy** » Sat Nov 19, 2016 10:29 pm

Hi Anne-Marie,
I'm new at No S too, but I wanted to chime in because I can completely relate.
Something you wrote I think potentially points to part of your struggle:

"I start the day thinking that I'll be able to have some self-control"

To me that suggests that you're still learning to trust that you can actually eat what you want, and that it won't be taken away from you. It's only from the place of feeling like you're going to restrict again that you need to control.

As you start to trust yourself and the process more, and let yourself enjoy feeling good in your body as much as the food, I think things will start to level out.

I hope this all makes sense. Basically, when I read this it looked a little bit like you're still recovering from dieting mentality, which is absolutely understandable and normal I think. And I'm right there with you!

Bluebell · Post by **Bluebell** » Sun Nov 20, 2016 8:01 am

Thanks Merry! I think my overindulgence may have resulted in a pound gain this week, but I am not stressing because the lesson I have learnt from it is such a valuable one.

naeman · Post by **naeman** » Mon Nov 21, 2016 2:55 pm

Bluebell wrote:'No S days feel better than this'. So maybe I am making progress!

I've only been at this for a couple of weeks, but I love that you had that thought! I think oolala53 is the one who said something about N days being worth it even when the S days are a little wild to start out. I still don't have my S days under control, but all of the N days I've had feel good. And part of the reason I haven't already quit and moved on to something else (as I tend to do after a week after I fail a normal diet) is because those N days feel good. So I look forward to life of many, many N days.

Best of luck! I'll be checking back to see what people say here since my biggest issue is still with wild S days.

Anne-Marie · Post by **Anne-Marie** » Mon Nov 28, 2016 3:44 pm

I've had two incredibly "normal" weekends in a row and ate less on Thanksgiving Day than I ever have! I attribute a large part of that success to everyone's comments which eased so much of the preoccupation I was having about whether or not this way of eating would actually work for me (someone who has never been able to pull off mindful or intuitive eating). Thanks, again!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Nov 28, 2016 5:12 pm

Sweet.

Brocky · Post by **Brocky** » Mon Nov 28, 2016 8:05 pm

Hi
First day today. After 40 years of "disordered eating" this looks like it could make sense. So good to read all the posts and to be able to associate with the stories I have read so far. Looking forward to creating new habits. And starting the journey with all the support on this forum

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Nov 28, 2016 10:58 pm

40 years was about my time span, too. Okay, 38, but close enough. Not perfect, but still oh-so-much better than I was in Dec. of 2009!

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How Long Until S Days "Level Out"???

How Long Until S Days "Level Out"???

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