Anxiety about not losing weight

babybird · Post by **babybird** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 10:29 pm

Hi. I'm new to the no S plan and I've had 15 green days and 4 red so far. I've battled with binge eating since my teenage years.

This plan has helped control binge urged significantly and I know it's not a quick fix plan for weight loss. However today I've been riddled with anxiety wondering if the weight loss will actually happen for me. I plan to weigh myself once a month from now on and I would be happy with a 2 Pound per month weight loss as my bmi is 25.9/26 currently.

I've followed a structured eating plan called slimming world here in the U.K and it does guarantee weight loss. With The No S diet I know we count plates and I've read the book stating that we should be patient but I'm finding it seriously difficult. Ive been craving chocolate all day. I've been very excited about eating this way and today was the first day I doubted not only the plan but my ability to stick with it.

Can anyone relate to these feelings especially in the early days?

I love reading testimonials but I'm just in need of an emotional boost today.

babybird · Post by **babybird** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 10:31 pm

I do plan to add to the daily check in where I can track any progress I make if any. But I have a very demanding 11 month old so it's just finding the time.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 11:42 pm

Do you have an actual health condition that absolutely requires you to lose weight? If you aren't seriously overweight, or don't have a compelling health problem, trying to conquer binge eating while actively trying to lose weight has a very poor success rate. The attempt to force calories down interferes with establishing a supportive rhythm of eating enough. And worse, the person often ends up even more self-critical and despairing, which is usually an even greater problem than overeating. It also makes the attempt to eat less harder.

Do you want to be a slimmer woman fearful of food and thinking you're going to lose control any second? Constantly disliking herself if she doesn't get to or stay at a certain weight or eat the ideal meals? That's the common mindset that follows imposing weight loss on a person, and is not corrected by weight loss! It's often even worse.

You are so little overweight (I know you may not think so, but it's true, unless you were ever much lighter with no effort) that there is no guarantee No S will work in any particular time frame. If you have been bingeing and restricting, it may even take longer, because when you stop bingeing, and you're not restricting, your calorie reduction might be relatively minor in comparison.

I know you want to hear a more definitive promise, but I've seen too much misery over this.

Rather than reading testimonials, I encourage you to read the thread on people who left and came back. They nearly all left because they felt they weren't losing fast enough and they nearly all come back heavier, regretting they ever left, and determined to make sane habits, not weight loss, their goals. Some end up losing well, others not so much, but sanity means a lot more to them by then.

https://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=10878

Why not just start there?

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Tue Dec 20, 2016 1:24 am

oolala53 wrote: Rather than reading testimonials, I encourage you to read the thread on people who left and came back. They nearly all left because they felt they weren't losing fast enough and they nearly all come back heavier, regretting they ever left, and determined to make sane habits, not weight loss, their goals.

Totally agreeing with this. (I'm one who left and came back heavier! If I had stuck with No-S and lost NOTHING, I would still weigh less than I do now, after a year on No-S & having lost 23 lbs! Wish I could tell my younger self the years of yo-yo dieting that were ahead if I didn't stick with No-S!)

That said, I can tell you that I still get this fear that I'm going to hit some kind of plateau and not keep losing, that No-S will stop working for me, etc..., even after a year on the plan! I think that desire to lose weight is so deeply ingrained in our culture, it's just hard to shake. (And in my case, I am in the "obese" category still--getting closer to that threshold--so I really do need to lose a good chunk of weight for health reasons). Our culture focuses so much on "perfect bodies" etc... though, and that's really not healthy.

When I start to get wigged out, I think again about why I'm doing this:

I want to be healthier. I don't need a perfect-looking body. I need one that is as strong and healthy as it can reasonably be (without me putting in effort that I'm really not going to sustain long-term).

I don't want to be controlled by food. (I'm by no means an expert here, but I do like that I've gained the ability to say no on N days--and to sometimes even say no on S days because I'd rather feel good that pig out. I'd like to gain more of this latter skill! But I recognize that No-S has helped me make great strides in this area).

I want to eat in a way that is long-term sustainable. I can lose on any old diet--but if I can't keep eating that way (counting calories, eliminating types of foods, having to think about food all the time to track a diet etc...), it's worse than useless, because when I stop, I gain it all back and more. So I'm specifically looking for changes I'm willing to maintain.

Some things I do that help:

I practice thankfulness in front of the mirror. You know how easy it is to get in front of the mirror and start picking apart your appearance? Sometimes it's subconscious almost, and then suddenly I'll realize the long train of negative thoughts streaming through my mind. So I try to practice thankfulness. I'm glad I have strong legs and arms that can accomplish daily tasks. I'm glad to be mobile so that I can get to places I want to go and do things I want to do. etc...

I pre-determined how to judge when I'm "not losing" and what I would do about it. In my case, I decided that I would have to lose nothing for 3 months straight before I would re-evaluate. When I re-evaluate, dropping No-S isn't an option--because I know I need long-term sustainable and this is it. However, things like considering smaller plates, considering the content of my plates (am I avoiding fruits/veggies), considering beverages (am I having too many caloric beverages each day), am I over-filling my plates (am I uncomfortably full more meals than not), etc...

Since I'm a year in, I would also consider S days, whether they were too far out of control and needed some boundaries etc... I think for most people, you may not want to look at S days that first year for the sake of establishing the good habits the rest of the time.

Anyway, hang in there! You're so early in the process and have some red days in the mix too--I'd really just focus on making strong habits and getting used to eating this way.

babybird · Post by **babybird** » Wed Dec 21, 2016 11:49 pm

Thanks for your detailed responses!
Your advice does make sense however I stop being rationale the moment I start worrying about weight loss.

The huge advantage I found both today and yesterday is I was 100% able to control urges to eat sweet food and therefore binge. This is the ONLY plan that has given me control over managing to abstain from food when I've been stressed out.... and having a demanding 11 month old I definitely am!!

I had a good clear out from my bookshelf/ bedside drawer yesterday and I have totalled about 17 books that are due for a charity shop. Either that or I will sell them. They range from slimming world/ weight watchers/ Paul mKenna/ binge eating/ how to eat less/ bulimia help etc etc. I have accumulated a vast amount over the last few years and it further reinforced how well I am doing on the no S plan.
I can honestly say the onlydiet realted book I need is the No S plan.

Yes I've had around 5 red days but I've had much more green days. I hope to post in the 21 club soon. My main food issue previously were NOT mealtimes, (they were small and balanced) but my constant snacking and eating sweets.i was unable to stop at 1 or 2. I felt I was a sugar addict as well as an emotional eater.

I'm so grateful for posters taking time to guide me when I'm feeling down. This is going to be a long process.

The collection of books I have shows that I was always looking for a cure as I wanted to eat normally. I didn't find it and I've been in therapy several times.

This simplistic plan is the only way forward for me and I don't see any alternative to help with the emotional eating. I can only hope in time, my warped brain signals will stop directing me to feel hungry. ( emotional/ intense hunger which isn't real but acts as a distraction)

Yes my weight loss might be slow and its stressful but I can increase my exercise when I have more time. I loved running and one stage.

MaggieMae · Post by **MaggieMae** » Thu Dec 22, 2016 1:23 am

Way to go, baby bird! Resisting the urge to eat sweets andacknowledging that success is awesome! I'm trying toweigh once a month. Since weight loss is slow, there's no reason to check more often. I'm like you....if I have been doing well, but the scale isn't nice to me, I panic. Like Merry said, I wish I had stuck with No S the first time I tried it instead of being enticed by other diets. My goal is to do NO S for the entire year of 2017, no matter how many times I fail. I'm going to start a thread about doing the one year no S challenge so others can join me and we can encourage each other. Feel free to join me!

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Thu Dec 22, 2016 5:51 am

babybird wrote: The huge advantage I found both today and yesterday is I was 100% able to control urges to eat sweet food and therefore binge. This is the ONLY plan that has given me control over managing to abstain from food when I've been stressed out.... and having a demanding 11 month old I definitely am!!

AWESOME!! Good for you for discovering how to have self-control in a tough situation. That's a foundation you can build on and build more successes on. Well done.

babybird wrote:Thanks for your detailed responses!
Your advice does make sense however I stop being rationale the moment I start worrying about weight loss.

I think that's normal--and you're right, it is a process and it does take time. I'd encourage you to write down some of the reasons you're doing this. And maybe also write down what it felt like today to control urges and avoid a binge. Give yourself something you can read in those moments when you don't feel rational. Or, post something on your mirror that you'll see each day to help build up your resolve.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Dec 22, 2016 6:57 am

My Zen teacher used to say that Zen doesn't necessarily make thoughts go away. In the beginning, they sound like a big Great Dane barking right in your ear. As time goes on, they're more like the barking of a Chihuahua locked in a bathroom on the other side of the house. So desires to eat between meals may not disappear completely, but they're going to seem a lot less bothersome. Or as another friend put it, she can window shop for jewelry, even jewelry that she could afford, but she can enjoy looking at it and not buy any.

And sometimes, it won't be an issue at all.