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Hello *waves*

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2018 2:51 pm
by muddyhoof
Heya,

You find me at my wits' end. I've been struggling with my weight for as long as I can remember, but finally thought I'd cracked it when I lost 6 stone with Weight Watchers a couple of years ago. I was SO HAPPY, and swore I'd never get myself into such a revolting state again. And now here I am, having put 3 back on and showing signs of going right back to the start.

I've tried WW again, and got nowhere (they've changed EVERYTHING), tried SW, tried Atkins, tried Keto, Slimfast, you name it, basically. I tend to do well for a couple of weeks, lose half a stone, then crash and pile it all back on.

NoS, I'm not gonna lie, I think you're my last hope.

My main issue (apart from the fact I bloody love food) is in the evenings - I gorge on everything I can find like a sort of enormous, rabid squirrel as soon as it gets dark. I'm really hoping that NoS will help with this, as I won't be able to eat anything between tea and breakfast - 5 days a week, at least.

It's Monday, so you find me determined...

Really, really hope I can stick to this - for good.

Anyway, just wanted to drop in and say hey, as I plan on using HabitCal and picking everyone's brains for help when I feel wobbly.

I'm a 41-year-old mum from the UK, I get LOADS of exercise, but am a carb-junkie with a willpower problem. And I guess that's me!

Looking forward to getting to know all of you,

MH x

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2018 6:13 pm
by MaggieMae
Hello, muddy hoof! .Welcome! I am also 41 and have tried every diet under the sun. I am like you when it comes to willpower. You will find lots of support and great advice on this board so even if you mess up and have a red day just mark it and move on. That's what I'm trying to do! Let's support each other and do this! Best of luck.

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2018 7:00 pm
by jenji
Good luck getting your habits established, Muddy! It is hard at first, and I had to drink a little milk or kefir then to fortify myself to cook dinner. But after a while, it feels natural.

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 4:22 am
by ladybird30
Welcome and good luck muddyhoof.

I have never been a big after dinner eater, perhaps because I have always tended to eat plenty during the day and evening eating disrupts my sleep.
If you can establish the habit of eating three substantial meals during the day, that may help. You can always cut down the size of the meals later.

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 5:26 am
by Healthy and Happy
I really agree with ladybird30. If I find myself wanting to snack between meals the thing that works best for me is to look at my meals and make sure they're satisfying enough.

I've lost 20lbs over the past two years and it's been mostly easy, as long as I eat good meals. I do have a list of a few go to snacks (small handful of almonds, an apple, a few Arrowroot cookies, a small handful of raisins, 4 triscuits with cheese at 4pm) to choose from if I really need to chew something but I've been weaning myself off of these.

Weight Watchers has good nutrition and portion ideas but I think they restrict calories/track points too much for long term success. Keep the good WW stuff and incorporate it with the No S three meal discipline and you'll be golden. Good luck!


ladybird30 wrote:Welcome and good luck muddyhoof.

I have never been a big after dinner eater, perhaps because I have always tended to eat plenty during the day and evening eating disrupts my sleep.
If you can establish the habit of eating three substantial meals during the day, that may help. You can always cut down the size of the meals later.

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 8:59 am
by muddyhoof
Thanks all for the welcome and the advice :D
I think the biggest thing with me is that I need to switch my brain from short-term to long-term. I'll get there! (I have to, I can't go on like this!)

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 9:14 am
by cedar
Good luck muddyhoof! We are all in this together and understand your struggles, we all have our own unique ones. No S is great and I think it's the only thing that really makes sense long term. I'm the same I need to get my head into the long game not the immediate 'just lose weight however I can now (unsustainably) then pile it back on and feel desperate all over again'.
All the best to you :D .

Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2018 2:52 pm
by oolala53
Welcome, MH.

The ideas that made me be able to stick to No S after decades of escalating eating is seeing that it was likely to get worse and probably nothing was going to make it easy to kick, just easier. If I didn't want to go on as I was, I had to learn to say no when it was hard, even if it was hard. I had never gotten past the honeymoon before. Nearly all successful dieters have to get past the honeymoon and stop quitting for long periods of time when things get rough.

No matter what your overeating looks like, no matter how entrenched it seems, it's mostly just a habit, and can be replaced by different habits. I think the first day of Spangle's 100 Days of Weight Loss (I've never gotten through the 100 Days because I get so sick of hearing about weight loss, weight loss, weight loss) is "I used to be that way and now I'm different!" Start believing you will say someday, "I used to gorge at night and now I eat a good dinner and do something else with the time." Most of the time... That's what it basically boils down to.

I entered this just wanting to GREATLY decrease my compulsive eating. I didn't say "never" about nearly anything. I think I was lucky that when I started, I had already gone through some diet bouts that showed me I could enjoy and even usually prefer mostly un-junky meals because I still see it's very easy to overdo eating at a meal when junky food is involved. I still binged plenty on S days but I was so glad not to be doing it pretty much every day that I just kept going. I still have some egregious days, but it's also still much better, and I doubt anything else would have gotten me in a better place than I am now. I mean, as I often point out to others, what's the alternative? Count calories? Follow some restrictive regime forever? Get miserably full every day and hate it?

No one can tell you how your journey will go. Just vow to give it a really good chance. Because I knew that the weight loss literature says that you can't really even begin to say that an effort has been successful until the person has gotten through two years, in the back of my mind, I gave it two years, though out loud I said a year. Could I have said the same thing about counting calories or going low carb or low anything or sticking to some precise food plan? That's what makes you see you have to choose something that sounds at least reasonable.

Hope you like our tribe!

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2018 7:55 am
by Hayz88
Hi!

You're not alone in finding no S again, ha ha, I've had some success in the past with No S, fell of the wagon, tried every other "diet" out there, and found that it makes the most sense to come back and try No S again.

Like you, I also have trouble with eating too much in the evenings. I'm definitely addicted to carbs, unfortunately.

Here's to hoping we both succeed with No S on this go around! 😊

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2018 2:17 pm
by lbb (Liz)
Welcome!
I'm back to No-S after some bingeing bouts. I, too, have been bingeing on candy and cereal late into the evening. Why it decreases my stress in putting my kids to bed is a weird concept, but it does TEMPORARILY.
Ready to tackle this habit.
Like oolala says, this is a habit we can change and even speaking about it differently is helpful--"I used to binge a ton at night and now I'm changing that!".
Our brains are so practiced at what we do!
I'm right there with you. Happy to support!

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2018 4:45 pm
by oolala53
Liz, welcome back! And it'a not a mirage. Food does mitigate some of the stress chemicals, but as you say, it's only temporary AND doing it increases the strength of the habit. Only you can say if it's better to put up with the discomfort. There's going to be some at one end or the other.

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 2:06 pm
by lbb (Liz)
Thank you for the welcome!
Yes I'm realizing the more I binge-eat, the stronger the next time's urge becomes.
You're right--there's discomfort either way, I can feel it initially by resisting or later by overeating.
Happy to be back!
:)

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 4:26 pm
by oolala53
Wanting to avoid regret is a great motivator, once you get the ball rolling. It's amazing how often we forget; it seems it takes countless experiences of feeling deflated before we start making the tough decision often enough to create momentum.

I'm coming off a few months of having been off the path a ways (not completely lost, but still). I'm reminding myself right now, if I don't want to be sorry later, I have to hold out in the "now."

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2018 1:09 pm
by sharon227
I was at a training program at work yesterday that had absolutely nothing to do with eating or nutrition, but I think I can apply some of the lessons to NoS. After we had some instruction about the best ways to do X and saw some of the mistakes we were making, the trainer started asking us for our take-aways and goals. Someone started with "I'm going to stop doing Y." And the session leader told us not to think about stopping Y. She said our brains don't process negative instructions well (I'd add "on an intellectual level." Instinctively, we know "Don't touch that hot thing because it hurts!" but that's not the same thing.)

Instead, she encouraged us to frame our goals in a positive way. Not "I'm going to stop binge eating" but "I'm going to stick to my healthy and sane way of eating because it makes me feel great."

The key here, of course, is buying into the idea that you will feel better and happier following NoS than giving into binge impulses as you set up your habits. Then, once the habits are ingrained, the theory is that you just no longer binge, it's not something you do. Or in my case, I no longer constantly snack on sweets throughout my day and week because eating sweets on weekdays and eating at all not at meal time is something I just don't do.

I'd say that the not eating outside of meal times has stuck well for me. Not taking seconds is still a struggle. Not doing sweets was fine in the summer, but I can see it's going to be more of a struggle for me in the late fall and winter when the days are short and I crave them. I'm glad I started NoS in the spring :D

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2018 7:57 pm
by ladybird30
sharon227 wrote: Or in my case, I no longer constantly snack on sweets throughout my day and week because eating sweets on weekdays and eating at all not at meal time is something I just don't do.

/quote]

Yes, that is how I think of it - eating snacks is something I just don't do anymore. When I split my lunch into two when out walking, I don't think of it as a snack, but the first part of a proper meal. Its a mental trick, but avoids the snacking feeling.

Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 4:09 pm
by Soprano
sharon227 wrote:I was at a training program at work yesterday that had absolutely nothing to do with eating or nutrition, but I think I can apply some of the lessons to NoS. After we had some instruction about the best ways to do X and saw some of the mistakes we were making, the trainer started asking us for our take-aways and goals. Someone started with "I'm going to stop doing Y." And the session leader told us not to think about stopping Y. She said our brains don't process negative instructions well (I'd add "on an intellectual level." Instinctively, we know "Don't touch that hot thing because it hurts!" but that's not the same thing.)

Instead, she encouraged us to frame our goals in a positive way. Not "I'm going to stop binge eating" but "I'm going to stick to my healthy and sane way of eating because it makes me feel great."

The key here, of course, is buying into the idea that you will feel better and happier following NoS than giving into binge impulses as you set up your habits. Then, once the habits are ingrained, the theory is that you just no longer binge, it's not something you do. Or in my case, I no longer constantly snack on sweets throughout my day and week because eating sweets on weekdays and eating at all not at meal time is something I just don't do.

I'd say that the not eating outside of meal times has stuck well for me. Not taking seconds is still a struggle. Not doing sweets was fine in the summer, but I can see it's going to be more of a struggle for me in the late fall and winter when the days are short and I crave them. I'm glad I started NoS in the spring :D
Interesting post, I read something recently in a similar vein. It was about redefining how you see yourself. In the case of Nos you are the sort of person that doesn't eat between meals etc...

It makes a lot of sense

Jx

Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:15 am
by Anna from KC
Thank you for pointing out that we should emphasize the positive. Sometimes after trying and failing at an untold number of diets, I fear failure and clutch when I need to make a good decision. Positive goals frame the situation differently. I'm not sure how to explain it but it's an action and so more freeing. When facing the forbidden or negative, I am afraid of the battle and losing again. If anyone knows what I am hoping to say, would you please explain it better? It has helped me and I'd like to pass it along.

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2018 2:13 am
by sharon227
I think "don't do X" carries all sorts of negative baggage. It brings up memories of when you did X and so "failed" and were unhappy with yourself. Constantly thinking like that doesn't make for a happy inner dialog.

I read Marie Kondo's "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" as I was trying to declutter my house. I didn't buy into her entire program, but the way she frames decluttering was very interesting and really spoke to me. She wants you to focus on keeping the things you love, not getting rid of the things you no longer like or use. Subtle but very important difference.

She also suggests "thanking" each thing as you choose to part with it. So you "thank" it for the service it gave you and perhaps the pleasure it gave you in the past. Or, if it was a impulse purchase you never used, you thank it for the pleasure you got at the moment you bought it, or the lesson it taught you about what you do and don't use.

It's a really different way of going through your things: focusing on what you love and being grateful for everything you own, even the things that no longer fit into your life today. Instead of being on the hunt for things that you hate or feel stupid about having spent money on, and so the whole time you're trying to clean out your home you're awash with negative feelings about yourself and your possessions.

I think making eating choices is similar. If every time you're faced with an off-NoS temptation, you think to yourself in a scolding voice: "I shouldn't have that!", you're probably bringing up lots of memories of previous failures. If you remember "Oh, that's not something I do anymore" because you've developed a new habit, it's a reinforcement of the current you that you're happy about.

"I eat this way now and that thing doesn't fit" is a lot more pleasant to hear in your head multiple times a day than "I want that but I shouldn't have it" or "don't have that!"

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2018 3:34 am
by automatedeating
sharon227 wrote:The key here, of course, is buying into the idea that you will feel better and happier following NoS than giving into binge impulses as you set up your habits. Or in my case,eating sweets on weekdays and eating at all not at meal time is something I just don't do.
Love this! Well said!