Everyday Systems

Heading into my first no snacking Christmas.... I’ve decided all bets are off for Christmas Day. Any tips for the other days? Anybody else feel almost force feed sometimes? Apparently I might starve if I don’t snack with everyone else.....

LOTS Of people talk at times about eating just for the sake of eating. Humans are opportunistic eaters and can have a knee-jerk reaction even to the hint of scaling back. Thankfully, we have a developed pre-frontal cortex to help counteract that.

Might be a good time to find out if you do starve... But just if you can do it without it feeling like you're suffering or "being good."

I have very little going on socially this year, but when I have in the past, I found it was still usually possible to have holiday foods at meals on most of the days, even S days. But whatever way you do it, be form before you go off track and gentle afterwards IF you do.

Sorry Oolala. I probably wasn’t very clear. I’m Enjoying sticking with my three meals. It’s the social pressure I’m struggling with, people pressing food on you because they think you are missing out or going to starve or something. I am definitely not starving. I love my food too much:-)

I just want to add the encouragement that it will feel GREAT and EMPOWERING as you get practiced at your contented "no thank you". It becomes easier over time, and now it's totally easy/no stress for me at all. But I do remember in the early years of trying to do this, I would have to tell myself (in my head), "this person will be FINE if I pass up their food. It is not my responsibility to meet their emotional needs by eating this item."

Got it. I've mentioned many times that my thin nephew-in-law turns down offers of food all the time. Or he takes some, says he'll eat it later, and ends up leaving it.

Anyway, sounds like you're doing fine.

The other night I was at a friends where supper was being handed around, and a slim woman was pressing cake on a woman who wants to lose weight. The latter was trying to refuse, and the former was persisting. Funnily enough, no one bothers trying to get me to eat cake any more (apart from the first polite offer sometimes).

Wow! So cool Ladybird that your habits are so ingrained that people don’t even expect you to succumb anymore.
I ate far too much on Christmas Day. No snacking is my everyday habit now so I wasn’t quite sure how to handle a special day. Was very pleased to be back to no snacking yesterday as it now feels more like who I am now. A success even if I don’t qualify for the testimonial page yet
Thanks guys for all of your encouragement:-) hope you all had a lovely Christmas too.

automatedeating wrote:It is not my responsibility to meet their emotional needs by eating this item.

Thanks, I really needed this.

And ladybird30, I wonder what sick emotional need was being displayed by that thin lady you observed... I'm certainly thankful I was not her target.

I love that. That it is not my responsibility to meet their emotional needs. People often make me special food because I’m GF and I feel bad not wanting to eat it. I’ve realised how often I do it to others too
As for the other lady I felt for her. A few successful experiences of making choices around food is empowering!

ladybird30 wrote:The other night I was at a friends where supper was being handed around, and a slim woman was pressing cake on a woman who wants to lose weight. The latter was trying to refuse, and the former was persisting. Funnily enough, no one bothers trying to get me to eat cake any more (apart from the first polite offer sometimes).

With a giant smile on her face, the lady should have said, "Would you please eat a 2nd piece for me since I don't want any?" And then walk away and avoid the skinny lady for the rest of the evening. She'll get the message. That was plainly passive aggressive behavior by the skinny "lady". Seen it myself many times.

I agree 100% with automatedeating. It is super empowering to respond with a contented no thank you. And also a lot easier to stick with than saying no when it's obvious you really want to say yes. The contented no thanks is also usually more effective (some people are just clueless regardless, but mixed signals can be harder for some people to read, if you're saying no but you really wish you could say yes.)

And Shells, congratulations on not snacking now being who you are. That's a major accomplishment!!