Everyday Systems

Hi,
I recently found this site and I think it's a great program! I'm doing what I consider to be very close to it - no seconds and definitely no snacks, 2 meals per day (BF and dinner) and basically no sweets but I do have grape jelly on my peanut butter toast. The no snacking is I think the MAIN issue for me that helps me keep my weight down. I have my whole life been a pretty major night-time snacker - something good on Tivo? Well, I'd be all set with some chips and salsa or some ice cream I feel pretty liberated with my new habits and my energy is like night and day! BUT... I'm just having one issue. I have a son and it doesn't bother me fixing him snacks, but I sometimes get really cranky when my husband will make 2 lattes at night (I limit myself to the ONE each morning with my toast) and then he'll snack some more and I just HATE it - I hate smelling the coffee.

I have more than vanity riding on this - I feel I *NEED* to stay thin for my health (I'm 34 and a total hypochondriac and the only way I feel less anxious about my health is when I feel like I'm totally taking the best care of my body I can) and also, I have no idea why, but when I am at about a BMI of 19 my acne almost totally clears - when I am 22-23 or higher, I get horrible cystic acne - like painful welts all over my back! When I feel like 'cheating' I think of that before anything else - I don't want that to come back - it was very painful.

So.... hello! And also, how to deal with the spouse who loves snacking in front of you?

It's tough, and you can ask him to be more discreet about it, but ultimately you're going to have to harden yourself. It's not him that's going on a diet, after all.

I think the trick (if there is one) is to:

1) be really super clear and strict with yourself not to snack.

2) resolve not to resent the fact that other people continue to snack. As inconvenient as it is for you, they really do have every right to. If you don't smash this resentment in the bud, it's going to get you. Your husband is probably not going to change his habits to support your diet -- it's going to be hard enough for you yourself to do it. So better ditch the wishful thinking/resentment now or you'll be blaming your husband for your failure in a couple months. It's hard to ditch the resentment, but it is possible. And it gets easy, if you are firm and stick with it. The power of habit is amazing. And who knows? If he sees that you can actually do this, successfully and without resentment, maybe he will come around one day.

Best of luck, sorry I don't see any way to make this easier...

Reinhard