I found an interesting book yesterday called This Year I Will... by M.J. Ryan. It deals with all the things we say we intend to do -- lose weight, save money, stop smoking and so on, the reasons we don't and ways to finally do it. She lists the Top Ten Resolution Pitfalls and suggestions to get past them and be successful -- plus more.
Top Ten Resolution Pitfalls
1. Being vague about what you want.
2. Not making a serious commitment.
3. Procrastinating and excuse making -- no time, wrong time, dog ate my homework.
4. Being unwilling to go through the awkward phase.
5. Not setting up a tracking and reminder system.
6. Expecting perfection, falling into guilt, shame and anger.
7. Trying to go it alone.
8. Telling yourself self-limiting rut stories.
9. Not having backup plans.
10. Turning slip-ups into give-ups.
It's interesting. She also discusses making SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achieveable, Relevant and Time-Bound).
http://mj-ryan.com/files/mj-ryan-books/ ... ar-i-will/
This Year I Will...
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
This Year I Will...
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."
"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."
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Jammin' Jan
- Posts: 2002
- Joined: Thu May 05, 2005 2:55 pm
- Location: The Village
Great ideas. I have only 2 resolutions this year. I will change my eating habits for good this year but I will do it slowly and in a relaxed state. No more freaking out and worrying about it. Also, I will change what I feed myself and my friends/family. It will be healthier and smaller portions. Thanks for the input on carrying out these resolutions.
A lot of growing up happens between "it fell" and "I dropped it."
Great post. Thanks! Most of these issues have been touched on here, but not in such a concentrated way.
I'm a big fan of smaller scale monthly resolutions, but I'll be using new years to reflect on some big "strategic" issues to address more specifically with a monthly resolution in 2007. I'll be limiting myself to asking "what are the problems?" on new years, and come up with specific solutions one month at a time.
Reinhard
I'm a big fan of smaller scale monthly resolutions, but I'll be using new years to reflect on some big "strategic" issues to address more specifically with a monthly resolution in 2007. I'll be limiting myself to asking "what are the problems?" on new years, and come up with specific solutions one month at a time.
Reinhard
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silverfish
- Posts: 115
- Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2005 12:17 am
- Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
- Contact:
I don't like resolutions. I make new years aspirations, e.g. this year I would like to:
Also, when I am deliberately having a good time, it takes the focus off the pain of doing whatever "worthy" thing I'm doing at the same time.
- Go to at least three concerts
Go to the theatre twice
Buy at least two pairs of shoes (I have issues, okay?)
Go to an SFF convention
Get a really pretty winter coat
Run 5km
Cook one Roman, one Medieval and one Regency recipe
Go to two other states
Also, when I am deliberately having a good time, it takes the focus off the pain of doing whatever "worthy" thing I'm doing at the same time.
Silverfish and KCCC -- you might like this.
I rarely watch daytime TV (except, of course, for the Food Network!). But on Sept. 11 I happened to watch the Ellen DeGeneres show.
Ellen had Gary and Jenette Nelson on speaking about their daughter. I found this on CBS and at the New York Times. Apparently, it was in Cosmopolitan, too.
May 17, 2006
About New York
Hope, Saved on a Laptop
By DAN BARRY
For a long time, Ann Nelson's laptop computer remained dark.
It had been returned to her family in North Dakota, along with the other belongings she left behind in that great city 1,750 miles to the east. She was 30, lively, working near the very top of the World Trade Center, and — you already know.
In the small town of Stanley, halfway between Minot and Williston, a fog thick enough to blur time's passing enveloped the Nelson home. Amid the many tributes to Ann, amid the grieving and the absence, it became hard to remember just when and how the laptop wound up in the basement of the one-story bank that the family owned.
There the laptop sat, for years, tucked away from sight in a black case. It was a Dell Inspiron 8000, bought shortly before Ann called home that day in early 2001 to say she had gotten a job as a bond trader at Cantor Fitzgerald — in New York! Soon she was living near the corner of Thompson and Spring, and working in an office 104 stories in the air.
Ann's parents, Jenette and Gary Nelson, say the laptop remained unopened because they are not computer savvy. But it was more than that, Mrs. Nelson admits. "To tell you the truth, it was just too painful."
Three summers ago, during an art class Mrs. Nelson was teaching in that basement, a couple of students showed her how to use the computer. After the class, she says, "I just left it there."
Who knows why never becomes someday, and someday becomes today. One day last fall — "when I got to feeling stronger," she says — Mrs. Nelson finally opened her daughter's computer. She pushed its power button and started by looking at the photographs stored in its memory.
Soon Mrs. Nelson was learning how to play the computer's games, including solitaire and hearts. These distractions both relaxed her and reminded her of the games she used to play with Ann. Somehow, this little black machine made Ann seem present, there beside her.
Getting lost in the computer became part of Mrs. Nelson's after-work ritual, though she never bothered to open a file that said "Top 100"; probably some music, she figured. Then, two months ago and who knows why, click.
What she found was a catalog of goals, humanly incomplete: a list that reflected a young woman's commitment to the serious, to the frivolous, to all of life. That night, Mr. and Mrs. Nelson sat down with the list, and were with their daughter again.
1. Be healthy/ healthful. 2. Be a good friend. 3. Keep secrets. 4. Keep in touch with people I love and that love me. 5. Make a quilt.
Mrs. Nelson used to sew all the time, until it simply became too hard to guide a needle properly with a joyous little girl frolicking in her lap. Then, when Ann grew older, mother and daughter decided to sew a tablecloth.
"I don't think we ever finished," Mrs. Nelson says, laughing. "She had to be doing 100 things at a time, and consequently some of them didn't get finished."
As for this goal of making a quilt, she adds, "I'm sure that I would probably have been deeply involved in this process."
6. Nepal. 7. Buy a home in North Dakota. 8. Get a graduate degree. 9. Learn a foreign language. 10. Kilimanjaro. 11. Never be ashamed of who I am.
"Ann was in many environments where being a girl from North Dakota may not have been the most sophisticated label to wear," Mrs. Nelson says, recalling that her daughter had traveled to China and to Peru, and had worked in the high-powered environments of Chicago and New York.
Even so, Ann always conveyed pride in who she was, who her parents were and where they came from — though never in a boastful way. "It's an important point about her personality," her mother says.
12. Be a person to be proud of. 13. Always keep improving. 14. Read every day. 15. Be informed. 16. Knit a sweater. 17. Scuba-dive in the Barrier Reef. 18. Volunteer for a charity. 19. Learn to cook.
By her late 20's, Ann had actually become a fairly decent cook. Still, her mother laughs in recalling late-night calls, like the one that began: "Mom, what's drawn butter?"
20. Learn about art. 21. Get my C.F.A. 22. Grand Canyon. 23. Helicopter-ski with my dad.
Then Ann Nelson's list repeats a number.
23. Spend more time with my family. 24. Remember birthdays!!!!
Birthdays loomed large in Ann's life. She would celebrate her birthday not for a day, but for a week — in part because her father's birthday came the very next day, in part because she was proud to have been born on Norwegian Independence Day — which is May 17, today.
"Ann would have been 35," says Mr. Nelson, who turns 65 tomorrow.
25. Appreciate money, but don't worship it. 26. Learn how to use a computer. 27. Visit the New York Public Library. 28. Maine. 29. Learn to write. 30. Walk — exercise but also see the world firsthand. 31. Learn about other cultures. 32. Be a good listener. 33. Take time for friends. 34. Kayak. 35. Drink water. 36. Learn about wine.
Ann was supposed to attend a wine class the evening of Sept. 11, in keeping with Nos. 13, 19, 31, 36 — the whole list, really.
After 36, there is a 37, but it is blank.
Mr. Nelson reads the list as an inventory of his daughter's values. "You don't see any Corvettes in the garage or any of those material things you might expect from someone that age," he says. "She recognized that you appreciate a few things and kind of live your life wisely."
Mrs. Nelson interprets the list as another way in which Ann seems to communicate with her when she is most in need. So, just about every day in a small North Dakota town, halfway between Minot and Williston, the screen of a laptop computer goes from darkness to light.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ann Nelson was one of the thousands of people killed in the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001. Five years later, her mother, Jennette, is still coming to terms with the loss of her only daughter. Jennette recently found something that Ann left behind – a file on her laptop computer labeled "Top 100." It was a list of Ann's top life goals. Below are the 36 entries she made before dying.
1. be healthy/healthful
2. be a good friend
3. keep secrets
4. keep in touch with people I love and that love me
5. make a quilt
6. Nepal
7. buy a home in north Dakota
8. get a graduate degree
9. learn a foreign language
10. kilamajaroo
11. never be ashamed of who I am
12. be a person to be proud of
13. always keep improving
14. read every day
15. be informed
16. knit a sweater
17. scuba dive in the barrier reef
18. volunteer for a charity
19. learn to cook
20. learn about art
21. get my cfa
22. grand canyon
23. helicopter ski with my father
23. spend more time with my family
24. remember birthdays
25. appreciate money but don’t worship it
26. learn how to use a computer !!
27. visit the new york public library
28. maine
29. learn to write
30. walk = exercise but also see the world first
31. learn about other cultures
32. be a good listener
33. take time for friends
34. kayak
35. drink water
36. learn about wine
37.
I rarely watch daytime TV (except, of course, for the Food Network!). But on Sept. 11 I happened to watch the Ellen DeGeneres show.
Ellen had Gary and Jenette Nelson on speaking about their daughter. I found this on CBS and at the New York Times. Apparently, it was in Cosmopolitan, too.
May 17, 2006
About New York
Hope, Saved on a Laptop
By DAN BARRY
For a long time, Ann Nelson's laptop computer remained dark.
It had been returned to her family in North Dakota, along with the other belongings she left behind in that great city 1,750 miles to the east. She was 30, lively, working near the very top of the World Trade Center, and — you already know.
In the small town of Stanley, halfway between Minot and Williston, a fog thick enough to blur time's passing enveloped the Nelson home. Amid the many tributes to Ann, amid the grieving and the absence, it became hard to remember just when and how the laptop wound up in the basement of the one-story bank that the family owned.
There the laptop sat, for years, tucked away from sight in a black case. It was a Dell Inspiron 8000, bought shortly before Ann called home that day in early 2001 to say she had gotten a job as a bond trader at Cantor Fitzgerald — in New York! Soon she was living near the corner of Thompson and Spring, and working in an office 104 stories in the air.
Ann's parents, Jenette and Gary Nelson, say the laptop remained unopened because they are not computer savvy. But it was more than that, Mrs. Nelson admits. "To tell you the truth, it was just too painful."
Three summers ago, during an art class Mrs. Nelson was teaching in that basement, a couple of students showed her how to use the computer. After the class, she says, "I just left it there."
Who knows why never becomes someday, and someday becomes today. One day last fall — "when I got to feeling stronger," she says — Mrs. Nelson finally opened her daughter's computer. She pushed its power button and started by looking at the photographs stored in its memory.
Soon Mrs. Nelson was learning how to play the computer's games, including solitaire and hearts. These distractions both relaxed her and reminded her of the games she used to play with Ann. Somehow, this little black machine made Ann seem present, there beside her.
Getting lost in the computer became part of Mrs. Nelson's after-work ritual, though she never bothered to open a file that said "Top 100"; probably some music, she figured. Then, two months ago and who knows why, click.
What she found was a catalog of goals, humanly incomplete: a list that reflected a young woman's commitment to the serious, to the frivolous, to all of life. That night, Mr. and Mrs. Nelson sat down with the list, and were with their daughter again.
1. Be healthy/ healthful. 2. Be a good friend. 3. Keep secrets. 4. Keep in touch with people I love and that love me. 5. Make a quilt.
Mrs. Nelson used to sew all the time, until it simply became too hard to guide a needle properly with a joyous little girl frolicking in her lap. Then, when Ann grew older, mother and daughter decided to sew a tablecloth.
"I don't think we ever finished," Mrs. Nelson says, laughing. "She had to be doing 100 things at a time, and consequently some of them didn't get finished."
As for this goal of making a quilt, she adds, "I'm sure that I would probably have been deeply involved in this process."
6. Nepal. 7. Buy a home in North Dakota. 8. Get a graduate degree. 9. Learn a foreign language. 10. Kilimanjaro. 11. Never be ashamed of who I am.
"Ann was in many environments where being a girl from North Dakota may not have been the most sophisticated label to wear," Mrs. Nelson says, recalling that her daughter had traveled to China and to Peru, and had worked in the high-powered environments of Chicago and New York.
Even so, Ann always conveyed pride in who she was, who her parents were and where they came from — though never in a boastful way. "It's an important point about her personality," her mother says.
12. Be a person to be proud of. 13. Always keep improving. 14. Read every day. 15. Be informed. 16. Knit a sweater. 17. Scuba-dive in the Barrier Reef. 18. Volunteer for a charity. 19. Learn to cook.
By her late 20's, Ann had actually become a fairly decent cook. Still, her mother laughs in recalling late-night calls, like the one that began: "Mom, what's drawn butter?"
20. Learn about art. 21. Get my C.F.A. 22. Grand Canyon. 23. Helicopter-ski with my dad.
Then Ann Nelson's list repeats a number.
23. Spend more time with my family. 24. Remember birthdays!!!!
Birthdays loomed large in Ann's life. She would celebrate her birthday not for a day, but for a week — in part because her father's birthday came the very next day, in part because she was proud to have been born on Norwegian Independence Day — which is May 17, today.
"Ann would have been 35," says Mr. Nelson, who turns 65 tomorrow.
25. Appreciate money, but don't worship it. 26. Learn how to use a computer. 27. Visit the New York Public Library. 28. Maine. 29. Learn to write. 30. Walk — exercise but also see the world firsthand. 31. Learn about other cultures. 32. Be a good listener. 33. Take time for friends. 34. Kayak. 35. Drink water. 36. Learn about wine.
Ann was supposed to attend a wine class the evening of Sept. 11, in keeping with Nos. 13, 19, 31, 36 — the whole list, really.
After 36, there is a 37, but it is blank.
Mr. Nelson reads the list as an inventory of his daughter's values. "You don't see any Corvettes in the garage or any of those material things you might expect from someone that age," he says. "She recognized that you appreciate a few things and kind of live your life wisely."
Mrs. Nelson interprets the list as another way in which Ann seems to communicate with her when she is most in need. So, just about every day in a small North Dakota town, halfway between Minot and Williston, the screen of a laptop computer goes from darkness to light.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ann Nelson was one of the thousands of people killed in the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001. Five years later, her mother, Jennette, is still coming to terms with the loss of her only daughter. Jennette recently found something that Ann left behind – a file on her laptop computer labeled "Top 100." It was a list of Ann's top life goals. Below are the 36 entries she made before dying.
1. be healthy/healthful
2. be a good friend
3. keep secrets
4. keep in touch with people I love and that love me
5. make a quilt
6. Nepal
7. buy a home in north Dakota
8. get a graduate degree
9. learn a foreign language
10. kilamajaroo
11. never be ashamed of who I am
12. be a person to be proud of
13. always keep improving
14. read every day
15. be informed
16. knit a sweater
17. scuba dive in the barrier reef
18. volunteer for a charity
19. learn to cook
20. learn about art
21. get my cfa
22. grand canyon
23. helicopter ski with my father
23. spend more time with my family
24. remember birthdays
25. appreciate money but don’t worship it
26. learn how to use a computer !!
27. visit the new york public library
28. maine
29. learn to write
30. walk = exercise but also see the world first
31. learn about other cultures
32. be a good listener
33. take time for friends
34. kayak
35. drink water
36. learn about wine
37.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."
"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."
A friend emailed this to me from a newsletter she gets:
As the new year quickly approaches, many of us start thinking about the many things we want to do differently in our lives. It is a traditional time for making resolutions, and for many of us these include such things as losing weight, getting more exercise, eating healthier, being kinder to other people, and being easier on ourselves.
For most of us however, these well intentioned resolutions for the coming year are bound to fail for the simple reason that the goal is too big -- a whole year.
We live our lives only one day at a time. So this year, instead of telling yourself that you're going to do things differently for the next 365 days, try making New Year's commitments for just one day at a time?
For example:
Just for today, eat right.
Just for today, get some exercise.
Just for today, use your sense of humor.
Just for today, do something nice for someone else.
Just for today, find a few moments to relax and reflect.
If you can make a firm commitment to be good to yourself for the next 24 hours, and the 24 hours after that -- then 2007 will take care of itself, one day at a time.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."
"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."