Restrictions, rage and relapse (I love alliteration!)

No Snacks, no sweets, no seconds. Except on Days that start with S. Too simple for you? Simple is why it works. Look here for questions, introductions, support, success stories.

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mondurvic
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Restrictions, rage and relapse (I love alliteration!)

Post by mondurvic » Fri Feb 02, 2007 5:44 am

"Overburdening oneself with restrictions is the top reason people fail to stick with diets for any length of time. " Reinhard Engels

I've really got to memorize this, as if it was scripture.

I make the same mistake every time. No sooner am I doing well on some plan, then I tighten it up, make it even more pure. If it's vegetarian, it should be vegan. If it's vegan, it should be raw. If it's raw, it should be organic. If it's organic, it should be in season and locally grown.

I make myself crazy, and I push myself to the point where I'm filled with resentment and throw in the towel.

Just so with the latest attempt at no-s. I've been doing fine - sticking with it (though not every day has been perfect), enjoying every mouthful and best of all, feeling at peace.

Enter the Mindless Eating Challenge two days ago, and a determination to start including fruits or vegetables at two meals a day. Of course, this is desirable, and it can be done in tandem with no-s, but it was an additional demand I made on myself, and one I resented. Yesterday I had two snacks in addition to my three meals, and today I went right round the bend, with pizza and lots of chocolate truffle squares in the middle of the day. I was feeling so angry, so put upon, so enraged. Such strong emotions must have an underlying basis, and I think it's built-up resentment from having dieted since the age of 7 - with nothing to show for it but decades of stress.

I am stopping trying to integrate Mindless Eating into no-s, and I'm sticking with plain vanilla no-s for one simple reason: it's something I am able to do. Anything more gets my hackles up, and that's not a pretty sight.

Judy

Kevin
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Sounds like a good idea

Post by Kevin » Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:52 am

It sounds like a good idea. I think you explained well one of the big appeals of No-S - it's do-able!
Kevin
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."

pangelsue
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Post by pangelsue » Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:36 pm

Thanks for the vent!! You go, girl. I hear ya about the dieting since 7 with nothing to show for it and I really saw myself when you talked about tightening up any plan I am on. My husband and I are 61 and we do eat organic and don't do fast food for health reasons. That should be enough restriction but noooooo. We have tried to add fat flushes, cutting carbs, skipping cheese blah, blah, blah. each time we do this, something inside eventually snaps and all hell breaks loose. I also especially love it when someone at work goes on South Beach for 2 days and loses 8 pounds and I have been all but not eating and I gain a pound.
Like you said, vanilla No S and relax (I wonder if that state actually exists for perfectioinistic overachievers).
Loved your post. It made a great start to my day.
A lot of growing up happens between "it fell" and "I dropped it."

joasia
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Post by joasia » Fri Feb 02, 2007 1:17 pm

You are so right on with your frustration. I really hear you. I do the same thing. When I think back to the time in my life when I didn't diet, I was thin. Now I have been dieting for 12 years and my results? I am fat.
The destiny of nations depends on the manner in which they feed themselves. Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

joasia
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Post by joasia » Fri Feb 02, 2007 1:18 pm

P.S. I read somewhere that the more you restrict the more you feel deprived and the more you binge. This is hard though because I have been restricting for so long, I don't know how to let go normally. When I let go, I eat a boat load.
The destiny of nations depends on the manner in which they feed themselves. Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

J Ellis
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Post by J Ellis » Fri Feb 02, 2007 2:46 pm

Stick with the basics. They work. They work longterm. They work without making life miserable or causing you to feel deprived.

Once a person has mastered No-S, additional modifications could be added more easily by considering each one as a monthly challenge. For example, after one or two months consistent success with No-S, a person might try increasing their fruit and veggies intake, decreasing their refined carbs, or following a specific carb/protein/fat breakdown (e.g. Zone). Try one at a time, for a specific period of time (one week - one month). This isn't to say that you should avoid eating extra veggies or less refined carbs during the basi phase, but you shouldn't burden yourself with believing you have to do so in order to succeed.

No-S works as written, without modification. Find success in following it as written. Keep your choices about what to eat fun, not burdensome and discouraging.

Joel

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david
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Post by david » Fri Feb 02, 2007 3:17 pm

No-S has always worked best for me when I don't add any more rules or restrictions. I like to go back and read the No-S home page whenever I start thinking of adding other factors into a perfectly good system. The K.I.S.S. principle is powerful.

Another thing I've discovered is that when I try to make No-S stricter or even try something totally new like vegan or paleo eating it's probably to get the eventual reward/punishment of a total dietary train wreck and all the associated uncontrolled eating that goes along with that failure.

--david

Ray E.
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Post by Ray E. » Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:07 pm

No-S for me is simply eating three meals each day with the understanding each meal needs be substantial enough to get me to the next meal, without exceeding one plate of food. The problem today is people are so spun up over protein, carbs, fat, glycemic index, etc., that meals become like fillups at the gas station and food is like octane. Thin people and athletes don't eat like this, why should we?

This isn't to say fruit and veggies aren't good, it's just that getting lost in macro/micro-nutrient land will probably doom most to failure. Which is why most diets fail, IMO.

Ray

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NoelFigart
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Post by NoelFigart » Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:26 pm

Ray, you know, I agree with you that maybe we're a little caught up in the futziness of nutrition.

Humans survived an awful long time simply by eating whatever didn't run fast enough.

Sure, there are things that we do need. Like guinea pigs, we don't manufacture our own vitamin c, so we really do need some fruits and vegetables. Sure, eating a lot of manufactured crap probably isn't ideal for you.

But...

We're OMNIVORES people. We can survive where a GOAT would starve.

At some point, yes, "Good enough" is probably optimum because it doesn't interfere.

mondurvic
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Zowie!

Post by mondurvic » Fri Feb 02, 2007 6:06 pm

Wow! Thank you all for a bunch of great and helpful posts. So many thoughtful insights and useful suggestions!

I love this diet and I love this forum.

Happily,

Judy

Crystal Fantasy
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When it is not broken do not fix it

Post by Crystal Fantasy » Fri Feb 02, 2007 6:22 pm

Hi, I belong to your Club of stricter is better....I was in exactly the same boat not knowing anymore what is normal and getting fatter, feel more fustrated form all the restriction I pose on myself. The Nos Diet has put an end to that and changed me in 6 days flat. A weight loss of 3 lbs and that with eating what ever I wanted to the rules and 3 meals a day.
I have no hang-ups just peace. Never think about foods any more. I the urge does strike I simply drink mineral water and wait till the next meal arrives. Usually within seconds the urge is gone and I continue wit my life
This is really working like magic. No restrictions any more for me, just the Nos diet and going on with my life
Thanks to Reinhard and all of you.
If this keep working like it does, I will be for ever grateful.... :lol:
One day at the time

pangelsue
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Post by pangelsue » Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:49 pm

Great post and welcome. Hope it always stays just like that for you. That is awesome.
A lot of growing up happens between "it fell" and "I dropped it."

wosnes
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Post by wosnes » Sat Feb 03, 2007 10:50 pm

I do have to watch the "what" I eat to a large degree for health reasons. But a few years ago I realized that over time I'd read about several groups of people and numerous individuals who were slim and healthy and they all had some things in common: They followed No-S kinds of habits, they all ate lots of veggies, and they walked or biked a lot, either as part of an exercise routine or just daily life. There were a couple more similarities -- and a LOT of differences.

I think most of us overthink all of this. It really should be pretty simple, and we keep trying to complicate it.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."

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Jammin' Jan
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Post by Jammin' Jan » Sun Feb 04, 2007 12:34 am

Gee, I sure am in the right group! I have put myself through this so many times. But no more. Vanilla no-s is the only way to go, for the simple reason that nothing else works for me.

Thanks for all your posts on this topic, everyone. Reinhard, you should put this thread in your book.

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MerryKat
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Post by MerryKat » Thu Apr 05, 2007 7:27 am

Me! Me! Me!

You could have been writing about me. I always have to over obsess, and as a consequence restrict myself into failure!

I am back to plain No S, with no personnal additions.

I have to take care around certain foods due to medical issues, but they are easy on No S, so this is not a complication.

I commiting to not reading any additional diet info for the next few months as everytime I do I find a few tweeks that would be good and ultimately they cause my downfall.
Hugs from Sunny South Africa
Vanilla No S with no Sugar due to Health issues - 11 yrs No S - September 2016 (some good, some bad (my own doing) but always the right thing for me!)

stevecooper
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free-range dieting

Post by stevecooper » Thu Apr 05, 2007 9:24 am

This post made me think of free-range and battery-farmed hens.

The difference between these hens isn't whether or not they are caged
(they both are) but how tight the cage is. And how happy that makes
them.

Free-range hens live within a definite boundary. But they get freedom
within that boundary, enough to keep them out of distress. A
free-range hen lives a pretty good life.

Battery farmed hens live in a boundary, but a much tighter one. It's
so close and constricting that it causes them great distress.

It seems to me that no-s can be considered a 'free range' diet --
bounded, but free enough to keep you happy. An organic, steamed,
no-GM, no-cal, no-fat diet is a battery diet; It's much crueller. You
wouldn't wish it on a chicken. Why wish it on yourself?

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reinhard
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Post by reinhard » Thu Apr 05, 2007 12:34 pm

Steve,

Absolutely. Not only is that metaphor accurate, it's so right on with the Zeitgeist. I should hire you to do marketing :-). In fact... I've gotta bump this quote up a bit.... home page and/or book (if you don't mind).

The trick isn't boundaries vs. freedom, but where to set the boundaries so that you have sufficient freedom without total chaos.

Reinhard

LentilBean
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Post by LentilBean » Thu Apr 05, 2007 4:44 pm

Hi. I'm finding this thread very interesting. I like what someone said about having to feel hungry each day and to learn to sit with and tolerate that hunger.

I'd also like to direct your attention to an NY Times piece titled "Unhappy Meals", which I think articulates a lot of the "principles" (too big and fancy a word for eating like a normal person) of No S.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/28/magaz ... 57&ei=5088
"Lord, help me to seek the truth, but spare me the company of those who have already found it. Amen."

stevecooper
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Post by stevecooper » Sun Apr 08, 2007 9:07 pm

reinhard wrote:I've gotta bump this quote up a bit [snip] (if you don't mind)
No problem; go ahead. ;)

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Jammin' Jan
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Post by Jammin' Jan » Mon Apr 09, 2007 11:41 pm

Personally, I will be very glad when your book comes out, Reinhard. I'm going to buy at least two copies, one for my purse and one for the end-table by my chair. It will be my daily inspiration to keep from falling into the pit which this thread discusses. "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" Pick up the book and read.

Jaxhil
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Post by Jaxhil » Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:00 pm

I am glad I read this thread-this is so true of me too!! That's why I love No-S; rules that don't make me a crazy obsessed woman wanting to eat every single item on the don't touch list -in obscene amounts, preferably! :lol:

This is (literally) the only"diet" I've EVER managed to follow for more than 2 days. I always cheated before. I would read boatloads of health plans, diets, etc, and try to twist myself in knots in an attempt to incorporate every great tip I thought I needed-it just doesn't work.

Again, this is why I LOVE this diet-it's so simple. I don't feel obsessed anymore 8) And when I was skinny, this was pretty much exactly how I ate!

Milzcar, that's how I feel-I was thin when I didn't diet. What is that definition of crazy? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? That was me.

No more :wink:
Hilary
_______

"Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes necessity."-St Augustine

"I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have."-Thomas Jefferson

Who Me?
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Post by Who Me? » Thu Aug 25, 2011 4:39 am

Another interesting discussion.

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Blithe Morning
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Post by Blithe Morning » Thu Aug 25, 2011 12:36 pm

I wonder how all those MIA posters are doing.

Who Me?
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Post by Who Me? » Thu Aug 25, 2011 12:42 pm

I like to think that they've reached a place in their lives where they don't need the support of a forum like this.

Perhaps those who knew them could drop them a private message?

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NoSnacker
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Post by NoSnacker » Sun Aug 28, 2011 8:57 am

Most times when I dropped off of sparkpeople for a few months it was because I failed badly at keeping my calorie counting going and totally going off diet.

I guess I'm more of a pessimistic and believe most people leave because they weren't ready for No S, or moved back to calorie counting or found some other magical diet..or a rare few that no long need support and are smooth sailing...one can only hope the later.

If I drop off of here I can guarantee you, it is because I failed.
Last edited by NoSnacker on Sun Aug 28, 2011 11:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
Age 56: SBMI=30.6 (12/1/13) CBMI 28.9 (2/2/14) GBMI-24.8

kccc
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Post by kccc » Sun Aug 28, 2011 11:00 am

You're probably right that the majority drop off because they give up. No-Sis simple, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Especially at first.

But I have seen a number of "goodby and thanks" posts from people who have lost their weight and are ready to spend their time elsewhere.

(I've also seen a lot of "I'm back!" posts from people who thought something else would be faster...)

My sense is that the No-S track record is better than most.

oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:09 pm

This has gotten bumped up from quite a long time ago. Yet, timely.

I went to an meetup all-raw dinner last night. Not interested in the lifestyle but interested in the variety of treatment of vegetables and nuts. However, even though the food was delicious, and there were even some fascinating desserts, I felt at the end that I had mostly eaten dessert. I wanted a taco and wish I'd gone and had one. Though I feel sweet-ed out, I went home and ended up eating sweets late at night. I don't know if it was all in my mind or not, but I know if I had had a regular dinner, with perhaps a couple of the vegetable offerings and a regular dessert, i would have been content.

And the talk of the people there! Talk about being obsessed with food! The host, whose raw chocolate truffles were stupendous, was rabid, though about the whole thing, and started in on being anti-flouridation and it was all too much. Maybe that's why I overate later.

I just kept thinking, let's just get people eating moderate meals three times a day, then work in more veggies, mostly unprocessed food, etc., and see where we get with health problems and such. Extremes are the last resort.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

jellybeans01
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Post by jellybeans01 » Tue Aug 30, 2011 5:25 pm

So honestly I fall into the mindful eating diet and usually end up back to no sing. I love the concept I really do but for me I have three tots and I can't sit and enjoy each bite for 5 minutes and take 30 min to eat all the while checking my tummy to see if I'm really full.

mondurvic
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From the original poster

Post by mondurvic » Mon Dec 03, 2012 11:23 am

I posted the original post on this thread many years ago, and was just re-reading it. In 2011, towards the end of the thread, a few of you were wondering what happened to some of the earlier posters - had we succeeded and left because we no longer needed NoS, or had we failed and slunk off?

I can answer about me, at least - I have not succeeded. I still get caught up in the diet rotation - have just completed eight successful days on one (sodium-free) diet, but have gotten seduced away by Paleo and today started that. Yet here I am tonight checking out NoS.

I am 70 years old and I have been on a diet from the age of 7. I have occasionally been thin, even very thin, but today I weigh over 200 pounds. I still veer from hope (new diet!) to despair (can't stick to it), but the part I hate most is that I can't quit - at my age, that would be a death sentence - yet I seemingly can't succeed. I simply go on and on in this depressing loop, with no end in sight.
Hope the rest of you are doing better, and would be glad to hear how it's going.

r.jean
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Post by r.jean » Mon Dec 03, 2012 1:59 pm

I found this thread fascinating. I believe in Vanilla No S, and what I am reading here certainly supports that decision!
The journey is the reward.
Maintenance is progress.

kccc
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Post by kccc » Mon Dec 03, 2012 2:48 pm

Mondurvic, I'm sorry that you're having a rough time.

I hope you find something that works for you.

For me, No-S is the foundation. (I do confess to having "layered" calorie-counting on top for a few weeks recently - details on my thread - but I used it as a diagnostic to adjust my No-S habits rather than relying on it.)

Best wishes.

oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Wed Dec 05, 2012 1:16 am

Hi, Luv, sorry it's such a burden.

I was a binge eater of varying intensity for about 38 years. I was not at my highest weight when I started earnestly on No S nearly three years ago (at age 56), but I was getting back up to it. I clung to No S through many months of difficulties, esp. with S days. I didn't have any health conditons related to my weight, but I feared bingeing for the rest of my life and was miserable at the thought of that. My dream has never been to be thin at the expense of my sanity. My dream has been to feel free of food. (NOt there yet, but much closer.) I was sure nothing but No S was going to lead me out of bingeing. Dieting is so closely associated with weight gain two years later (not my opinion- those are the stats) that I could not afford that. It's also considered ALMOST impossible to diet and recover from disordered eating at the same time. Of course there are exceptions. Plenty of diet sites and other boards for those exceptions.

You can see from my weight history in my signature line that my weight didn't drop fast. I didn't even report the regains along the way. But I've remained mostly in compliance since last March and I still have no intention of trying anything else. My pants fit even a bit looser in the last month. I weigh in officially only 4 x a year, at the change of the seasons. I pretty much stay away from the scale the rest of the time. But I do eat to protect my appetite, meaning that getting legitimately hungry for my meals is a real goal each day. This keeps me from overdoing it at most meals. That is my Golden Fleece. I refuse to let a scale or the present day cultural ideal dictate what I eat or not. I wouldn't say it's always easy but it is definitely rewarding to my spirit. Adn so far, my blood panels are still good. If they change, I will ask for a nutritional consultation and implement the recommendations for three months, then examine the results.

I will say this: it has absolutely been worth every difficult moment. And I urge you to find the courage to determine SOMETHING you are willing to do, no matter what, for your health and sanity and DO it. Or vow to let it go and let the chips fall where they may. Because I'm pretty sure staying on the fence isn't helping.

I affirm peace for you on this issue soon.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

Kathleen
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Post by Kathleen » Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:30 am

I read this thread and think gullibility is the defining characteristic of fat people. We bought the lie that we had to exert enormous willpower in order to lose weight -- and what do we have to show for it? The embarrassing habit of bingeing.
Kathleen

mondurvic
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Not on the fence

Post by mondurvic » Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:36 am

Thank you for your kind reply.

To clarify, I am not on the fence. I always jump in with both feet - alas I jump from diet to diet (including NoS), and do a lot of damage in between.

I have come to the same conclusion as you - one must find something one is WILLING to do, and stick to it. Rather like marriage - no prospective match is going to be perfect, so pick the one you like the best, know that there will be difficulties, but honour your vows.

I am currently "on the fence" only in that I am thoughtfully (not impulsively) considering my options, NoS among them. Whatever I choose will not be a traditional diet - I know better - but it may be a philosophically-based way of eating.

Like you, I seek peace, not any particular weight or size. Thanks for the good advice, which I know came from your heart.

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