The actually description of this diet is no sugar, no snacks, no seconds, except SOMETIMES on days starting with S. I have always totally ignored that word sometimes. I know it is there but it is not in capital letters in my head. In fact, consciously, it is not there at all. Subconsciously, it is there as an uncomfortable idea I will deal with some day. But not right now. That word, sometimes is part of the diet whether I like it or not. I read a lot of posts on this board and the people who are successful are usually doing something that constitutes Sometimes on S days. The ones like me who are struggling have thrown out that all important word.
I know Reinhard says in the beginning to ignore plate size and not worry about S day excesses but I have been here over a year and have done nothing but maintain the entire time. I stopped beating myself up about not losing several months ago, but I am examining the reasons I might not be losing. I have NEVER embraced the idea of SOMETIMES. I am an all or nothing kind of person so maybe sometimes is too nebulous an idea for me to wrap my mind around. Or maybe, and this is more likely, I just like turning off on S days. I am still white knuckling it through N days so I can get to S days and turn off. Then I go nuts for a couple of days and face the music on Monday. I also have never really warmed to the words exercise or shovelglove. So I guess if I want to maintain, that is OK. But I want to lose some weight so I am escalating the importance of the word SOMETIMES to mean something in the formula. Part of me is definitely more than a little sad about that but part of me knows I have been kidding myself to think it is not part of the plan. Time to accept that last sort of forgotten rule of the plan, SOMETIMES. It doesn't mean deprivation. It just means a little reason and control. I want to grow into seeing that as reasonable and doable. I want to start seeing it as the next step in the freedom process. I want to get to the point where I can really have my cake and lose weight. That is freeing emotionally, not constraining.
That forgotten 4th rule
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
That forgotten 4th rule
A lot of growing up happens between "it fell" and "I dropped it."
I totally hear you. I have been really struggling with s days. And I think for women it is harder. We don't have the muscle mass that burns calories like men. When I go hog wild on the weekends, I don't lose. I am still trying to find the right balance on this plan. The balance of sanity, sometimes, not too many restrictions, etc. I have found, for me (and this is not part of the plan), that when I wait until I am physically hungry (not starving) but hungry and then I eat, that I lose weight. But if I force myself to eat meals just because it is meal time and I am not hungry, I don't lose. Now most days I am always hungry at mealtimes, sometimes I feel I won't make it to mealtime. But some days, like after a weekend, I know I don't need to force breakfast down my throat when I just ate a huge dinner and am not hungry. At times like these I try to tune in to my stomach and wait for some signs of hunger (stomach grumbling, salavating, etc.). I am not saying this is an easy idea. But I have struggled with weight for a very long time and have always observed people who are naturally thin. They only eat when they are hungry. When they are full they don't eat. Babies eat like this. I don't know if this "intuitive" eating is something we can regain after years of emotional eating and food obsession. But I incorporate it into nos when I can.
P.S. I know it seems frustrating, but remember a year of maintaining is awesome. ALWAYS better than gaining. Besides if you only have a little weight to lose 5-20 pounds, it seems to come off slower and slower.
P.S. I know it seems frustrating, but remember a year of maintaining is awesome. ALWAYS better than gaining. Besides if you only have a little weight to lose 5-20 pounds, it seems to come off slower and slower.
The destiny of nations depends on the manner in which they feed themselves. Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
Very good post, pangelsue!
I love your description of "white-knuckling" through till an S day comes-
I see myself doing that too!! I would love to get to a point where I don't treat S days that much differently than a No-s day. Right now I can't imagine it, but I think it's do-able. Eventually! At this point, I can hardly stand to wait. In fact I admit to starting my S days on Friday night! I try to start my No-s on Sunday after supper though. Notice I said try!!
I too tend to forget about the "sometimes" part..In fact I hadn't thought about it in quite awhile, and perhaps that explains my lack of weight loss, eh?
Thanks for posting this-I for one needed to be reminded!!
Hilary
I love your description of "white-knuckling" through till an S day comes-
I see myself doing that too!! I would love to get to a point where I don't treat S days that much differently than a No-s day. Right now I can't imagine it, but I think it's do-able. Eventually! At this point, I can hardly stand to wait. In fact I admit to starting my S days on Friday night! I try to start my No-s on Sunday after supper though. Notice I said try!!I too tend to forget about the "sometimes" part..In fact I hadn't thought about it in quite awhile, and perhaps that explains my lack of weight loss, eh?
Thanks for posting this-I for one needed to be reminded!!
Hilary
Sometimes can be pretty easily interpreted as "once per weekend" or as "snacks and/or seconds of fruits/veggies and one treat." If you only plan to indulge in one sweet each weekend, you will generally pick a better quality treat rather than settling for the whole box of an inferior sugar product.
Congratulations on successfully maintaining your bodyweight. Refining your approach on S-days will probably kick you into "loss-mode." What are you doing in terms of exercise? Losing is a fairly simple formula. You have to burn more than you consume. Reviewing your weekend intake and your weekday output will probably reveal the key to getting the weight to come off.
Joel
Congratulations on successfully maintaining your bodyweight. Refining your approach on S-days will probably kick you into "loss-mode." What are you doing in terms of exercise? Losing is a fairly simple formula. You have to burn more than you consume. Reviewing your weekend intake and your weekday output will probably reveal the key to getting the weight to come off.
Joel
Very good point, Sue.
Also, J Ellis, I like your "concrete ways to interpret sometimes". Very sensible approach, and I may borrow it.
Sue, my current intermediate approach to "sometime" is to tell myself "I can have anything I want, but only if I really do want it." That "check in" helps me eat more mindfully, which tends to keep the total intake down. However, I think I still need the "freedom to be stupid" as a safety valve for N-days.
I do think planning ahead for one really high-quality treat keeps you away eating lots of junk.
Also, J Ellis, I like your "concrete ways to interpret sometimes". Very sensible approach, and I may borrow it.
Sue, my current intermediate approach to "sometime" is to tell myself "I can have anything I want, but only if I really do want it." That "check in" helps me eat more mindfully, which tends to keep the total intake down. However, I think I still need the "freedom to be stupid" as a safety valve for N-days.
I do think planning ahead for one really high-quality treat keeps you away eating lots of junk.
Starting No-S Friday Nights
As an experienced No-Ser, If I could give you a piece of advise about starting No-S on Friday nights, it would be don't. I stopped losing weight when I did that. As soon as I went back to starting No-S saturday morning, things got better again.
And the Sometimes is important. I allow myself pretty much whatever I want at meals on S-days, but still do not eat after dinner. That's the killer for me. If I give in and eat after dinner is cleared away, I'm gaining weight.
And the Sometimes is important. I allow myself pretty much whatever I want at meals on S-days, but still do not eat after dinner. That's the killer for me. If I give in and eat after dinner is cleared away, I'm gaining weight.
Kevin
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."
Some good ideas guys. Jaxhil, I am with you on the Friday night thing. In fact I tried for a while to have my S days be Friday and Saturday because we go out a lot on Friday nights. Unfortunately, like you and J Ellis said that ends up being 3 S days instead of 2.
Do a lot of stress eating because my job is high maintenance. Very used to stuffing while I stress. I have recently made real progress in this area.
Exercise is a problem for me. I can and do try to do as much as possible but it has to be in short spurts. Lots of issues with knees, hips, neck and bone spurs. All the fun stuff that goes along with being 62 and 60 pounds overweight most of my adult life. I have orders to limit repetitive exercise and anything involving lifting. (If I can give a piece of advice to all you young stuff out there, it is, lose it now before the joint damage sets in for real.) I walk some, garden some, do housework and shop. More than that and I am miserable.
So back to the S day thing and a bit about lifestyle. We have a lot of good friends and we party a lot on weekends. They are all gourmet cooks and we all love wine. Good times and lots of laughs. These parties usually involve, appetizers with drinks of course, salad, main course and dessert. We have a birthday club for 8 of us and the birthday kid gets to pick the restaurant. They are always high end restaurants complete with sauces on everything. Now add to this that Sue has her simple side and I love stuff like jelly beans and cheetos. Obviously, S days are a problem. Every weekend, I vow to be sensible and it really has yet to happen. I am noticing a trend to cut back though and serve myself up smaller at the dinners and buy small bags of jellybeans and toss half of them before I begin eating. I an also learning how to doggy bag before I start eating. Feels weird but, hey, if it works. I am also trying to limit the meal splurge to one a day. No more big breakfast and large supper on the same day. Small steps to undo a lifetime of giving in. Sigh...... If I live long enough, I may get there.
Thanks for listening and I will continue to read your posts and learn.
Do a lot of stress eating because my job is high maintenance. Very used to stuffing while I stress. I have recently made real progress in this area.
Exercise is a problem for me. I can and do try to do as much as possible but it has to be in short spurts. Lots of issues with knees, hips, neck and bone spurs. All the fun stuff that goes along with being 62 and 60 pounds overweight most of my adult life. I have orders to limit repetitive exercise and anything involving lifting. (If I can give a piece of advice to all you young stuff out there, it is, lose it now before the joint damage sets in for real.) I walk some, garden some, do housework and shop. More than that and I am miserable.
So back to the S day thing and a bit about lifestyle. We have a lot of good friends and we party a lot on weekends. They are all gourmet cooks and we all love wine. Good times and lots of laughs. These parties usually involve, appetizers with drinks of course, salad, main course and dessert. We have a birthday club for 8 of us and the birthday kid gets to pick the restaurant. They are always high end restaurants complete with sauces on everything. Now add to this that Sue has her simple side and I love stuff like jelly beans and cheetos. Obviously, S days are a problem. Every weekend, I vow to be sensible and it really has yet to happen. I am noticing a trend to cut back though and serve myself up smaller at the dinners and buy small bags of jellybeans and toss half of them before I begin eating. I an also learning how to doggy bag before I start eating. Feels weird but, hey, if it works. I am also trying to limit the meal splurge to one a day. No more big breakfast and large supper on the same day. Small steps to undo a lifetime of giving in. Sigh...... If I live long enough, I may get there.
Thanks for listening and I will continue to read your posts and learn.
A lot of growing up happens between "it fell" and "I dropped it."
Another variant
Another way that I kick started weight loss when I had plateaued was to change the rules a little: "except sometimes on days that start with S" became "except sometime on the Sabbath." This was pretty effective. And, if you can handle it, then you can say your sabbath starts at Sundown on Friday and ends at Sundown on Saturday...
Kevin
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."
I have my S days on Fridays and Saturdays, for a bunch of reasons:
First of all, most of the time if we go out it's on Friday.
Secondly, I think it's important to practice habit building on days when I'm not distracted by work. Sunday is definitely the hardest day of the week.
Thirdly, while I am at work on Friday I don't have the chance to go hog-wild, so "sometimes" is built in, and usually means "If we go out on Friday."
First of all, most of the time if we go out it's on Friday.
Secondly, I think it's important to practice habit building on days when I'm not distracted by work. Sunday is definitely the hardest day of the week.
Thirdly, while I am at work on Friday I don't have the chance to go hog-wild, so "sometimes" is built in, and usually means "If we go out on Friday."
Kevin, thanks for the advice! Today is Friday and I will be good (God willing!) and not start my S-days today. I think you are right, I am sure that's at least part of the reason I haven't been losing.
I am finding myself craving snacks less anyway-a small miracle in itself!! I fell so much better and enjoy my meals FAR more when I don't, so it's making me want to hold off till meals-WOW! I never thought it would happen
Hilary
I am finding myself craving snacks less anyway-a small miracle in itself!! I fell so much better and enjoy my meals FAR more when I don't, so it's making me want to hold off till meals-WOW! I never thought it would happen
Hilary