Please help: how to avoid cake tomorrow?

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florafloraflora
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Please help: how to avoid cake tomorrow?

Post by florafloraflora » Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:58 pm

Gack! I've got advance notice of a potential failure situation, and I still can't figure out how to stop it. Ideas are welcome.

Most of my office is away at a conference today and tomorrow. One of my coworkers who stayed behind said he had some cake at home, but didn't bring it because he didn't think anybody else would be in. But he promised to bring it in tomorrow.

I have no desire to eat cake tomorrow, but I can't figure out how I'm going to turn this down. I don't want to tell him that I'm trying to stick to this plan because in the past when I've done that it has made some people want to "help" me enforce the rules of my diet, and I'm not interested in having anyone monitor me except myself. And if it's just the two of us, I don't see how I can get out of at least trying a bite or two. Especially when I've been warned ahead of time, "thanks but I'm full now, I'll save it for later" sounds silly.

Any ideas for snappy comebacks? I could plead a need to watch my blood sugar, which would be legitimate, but I don't want to be sharing medical information any more than I want to tell all my coworkers about my diet. Right now I'm just hoping he'll forget to bring it, but there's got to be a better way.

pangelsue
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Post by pangelsue » Mon Mar 19, 2007 11:01 pm

If it is from a friend, I usually say. "Oh thanks. It looks great but I am going to save it for this afternoon." Then when they walk away, I toss it in the garbage someplace where they won't see it. Then later I say it was delicious and they are happy and I am happy. So far it has worked like a charm for me.
I know this sounds deceptive but I eat mostly organic foods and I am very fussy about additives and preservatives and stuff. The weekends have some garbage in them but my weekdays are pretty clean. I used to get hassled a lot about it at work because even though I never talked about it, I never ate a lot of the food (?) that I knew was full of yucky stuff. That really seemed to bother a lot of people to the point that I was hearing "oh, this isn't good enough for YOU, I suppose" and they would leave me copies of every article about bad organic spinach etc. they could find. I tried just saying, "Oh well, that's who I am" but I got tired of defending my stand on food to people who don't and will never agree with me. So, if they offer me a piece of whatever, I take it and toss it. For most of this stuff, the garbage is the best place for it anyway.
A lot of growing up happens between "it fell" and "I dropped it."

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navin
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Post by navin » Tue Mar 20, 2007 12:22 am

I think a simple "No, thanks" is all that is required. If he asks why or persists, just say you don't feel like it (which is true).

This is pretty easy if he didn't make the cake. It might be a little tougher if it's his homemade cake, so the worst case, and you really feel bad (or the cake looks really good!) take some and take it home, and you can eat it on an S day.. can make a great Saturday breakfast (I do this kind of thing all the time).

That being said... do you know why he's bringing the cake? Is it some special occasion (birthday or something), or just for the heck of it or because he had left-overs? If it's a special occasion, you could either try the take-it-home-for-later trick, or count it as an S day and eat a small piece. Unless this kind of thing happens all the time, that won't be a problem. If it's not a special occasion, "No thanks" will probably work just fine.

I am coming from the perspective of both being in both positions - sometimes I'm the one trying to resist the "bad" food, but sometimes I'm the one who brings it in. :)
Before criticizing someone, you should try walking a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.

Kevin
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Cake

Post by Kevin » Tue Mar 20, 2007 12:34 am

Or, say you're just too full at that moment, but that you'll take it home and eat a piece later...

Then eat it on the weekend - at least a bite - and be *sure* to tell him how good it was.
Kevin
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."

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reinhard
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Post by reinhard » Tue Mar 20, 2007 12:43 pm

I've found it's amazing how little people really care what you eat.

"No thanks," is really sufficient in 90% of all cases.

Good luck!

Reinhard

Bee
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Post by Bee » Tue Mar 20, 2007 4:21 pm

I agree, when I am in these high pressure dessert situations, usually a simple "no thanks" is enough. But when people are persistent, I just say "I'm watching my weight" or if I want to be cute, "I'm watching my girlish figure". It is totally honest, to the point, and that should be the end of the discussion. Lots of people give up sweets and watch what they eat when they're trying to shed a few pounds. In essence, this is all No-S is, its just spelled out so that you don't have to make hard decisions all the time. But no one needs to know all that unless you decide to tell them.

If I don't feel like mentioning watching my weight, then an alternative explanation is "Oh, I'm just trying to avoid excess sugar lately". People are suprisingly satisified with this when I've said it.

I think if they persist beyond that kind of explanation, they're being a little nosy.

florafloraflora
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Post by florafloraflora » Tue Mar 20, 2007 4:32 pm

Thanks, everybody! I dealt with the situation just now. My evil coworker came to tell me there was cake in the fridge, and I just said, "Mmmm, sounds delicious, I'm trying to stay away from that stuff, but I might just have to be tempted..." Totally noncommittal, and it worked fine.

kccc
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Post by kccc » Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:29 pm

A related thought from Flylady, on dealing with general clutter, especially "stuff someone gave me that I really don't want or like that much": You can keep the love, and still let the stuff go. (What a freeing idea!)

Cake and other goodies often fall into the "stuff from someone else that I don't want" category for me, especially since I have a "food is love" mom. I looked a long time for strategies to deal with "food pushers," however well-meaning. It's a common problem - many people offer food to nurture, as social overtures, etc.

My favorite strategy is simply to acknowledge the good intent in some form - which usually doesn't have to involve tasting at all. ("Looks good!" "Sounds delicious!" - that kind of thing. Note that "taste" isn't even mentioned.)

The actual food is really incidental to the social transaction. So, I focus on the interchange instead of the food.

Bee
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Post by Bee » Tue Mar 20, 2007 11:28 pm

KCCC: I like this attitude! Would be helpful for many situations...

florafloraflora
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Post by florafloraflora » Wed Mar 21, 2007 4:06 pm

Follow-up: I eventually got stuck taking a piece of cake home, and it almost got the best of me, it looked and smelled so good. I don't usually even like chocolate cake, but this was made by my coworker's girlfriend, a former pastry chef, and it was really special. But I bravely threw it out this morning without tasting it. Kind of a shame to waste like that, but he really seemed to want to believe that I'd tried it, so I figure now we're both happy.

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reinhard
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Post by reinhard » Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:41 pm

Congratulations! The more you do this, the easier it gets. Every time you do the right thing in a hard situation, the next hard situation gets easier.

joasia
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Post by joasia » Wed Mar 21, 2007 9:41 pm

"Thanks, that looks great!" then....
"I'm not hungry now, but I will save it for later"

Then save it or throw it away or in my case I give it to a colleague who is a human garbage can (and never gains a pound)
The destiny of nations depends on the manner in which they feed themselves. Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Kevin
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What a Purist!

Post by Kevin » Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:18 pm

You know, I've found this kind of stuff really does freeze well for the weekend...
Kevin
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."

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