paranoia

joasia · Post by **joasia** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 1:35 am

I don't know why I obsess. This program should be obsession proof, it is so easy to follow. Maybe I just want this weight gone due to health concerns. Maybe it is years of dieting. Whatever it is I get obsessed and then I overeat to ease the stress. I start this stupid inner talk "maybe I put too much on my plate" "maybe the food is too fattening" "maybe this won't work for me because I am female and I have to measure food after all". It is like I am turning this easy system for weight loss into one of those unbearable diets I use to be on. It is almost like I believe without being miserable and counting, I will never lose this weight. Then after several days of this mental obsession, I binge for 3-5 days and go off plan. Maybe deep down I don't believe this will work or maybe I am so skeptical that anything will ever work. I guess there is no system to cure obsession. I want to relax and just do it, but I just have not been able to. And all the while I am carrying way too much extra weight. I hate Weight Watchers, but I am so upset at myself right now, and I know that Weight Watchers will take off this weight, that I am debating going back. Of course stress in other areas of life are not helping me skip along, carefree, along the weight loss path. I think this is a great system. But I am having a hard time believing I can lose this weight while putting as much food on my plate as my husband who works physically.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 3:17 am

You sound really frustrated and I can sympathize. But maybe you need to remind yourself that you are free to stop dieting at any time. Just stop. You could make that choice. So it also follows that you are free to choose when and what to eat. I don't think it is possible to eat against your will. So there is really nothing to rebel against. You see the food and you choose to eat it. Take the magical power away from the food and ask yourself why you really are eating things that endanger your health.
In my case it is usually because eating is easier than dealing with the underlying causes. I think, "should I take a walk, or cry it out, or talk it out, or go see my boss and have a heart to heart? Should I find a sitter once a week and join a club or volunteer somewhere I could make a difference? Should I get involved in politics and write my congressman? Should I get a more fulfilling but lower paying job? Should I get involved in human rights?
OR should I have a candy bar and try to forget about it? That last choice has been winning most of my life because it is easy. But for the first time I am trying to deal with it. Life is hard and it is messy. I don't like hard and I don't like messy but that is the way it is. Do you want to know the definition of a neurotic person? A sane person knows 2 and 2 is 4. A crazy person thinks 2 and 2 is 5. But a neurotic person knows 2 and 2 is 4 but they don't like it.
That is dieting. Skinny people know what is good for them, it makes sense and they do it. People who's eating is utterly out of control don't care and eat everything in sight. We know what is best but we don't like it. Just some thoughts from a person you met along the road.

London Mum · Post by **London Mum** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 9:45 am

After following NoS for nearly five months now, I am coming to really believe that the first goal is just to stick to the system. You really have to get the habit down first without obsessing about weight. Then if you find you are not losing as much or as fast as you want, you can start tweaking your diet.

Before, if I had a healthy meal or limited my portions, I had some kind of internal compensation which meant I would make up for it in snacks or leftovers. Now, I have started cooking a healthier evening meal, and added some excercise, and I am secure enough in my No-S habit not to make up for it by treating myself to some chocolate later on.

It was hard in Feb when my weight loss stalled, but now it is starting to shift again, and I just keep telling myself slow is good, and maintaining is also good.

In truth you probably can't eat as much as your husband - sadly as an active male he just needs more food energy than you. But you can work on portion size after you get the NoS habit nailed, and if you have a fair bit to lose you will probably lose weight in the meantime anyway.

Good luck if you decide to stick with it.

LM

Post by **reinhard** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 12:42 pm

1. If you look at the testimonials page and the boards here, you'll see that many of the most successful no-essers have been female. So that shouldn't be grounds for skepticism. No one (not even women!) counted and measured back when we as a society were thin.

2. This is the problem:

Then after several days of this mental obsession, I binge for 3-5 days and go off plan

Get a calendar and red/yellow/green markers. Focus on keeping it as green as possible. This is super-rationally effective. Just like the sight of an empty plate is a compelling stop signal, the sight of a splotch of red will make you want to nip that binge in the bud. As London mum says, outward compliance with the literal rules is the first and most important step -- it will probably be the only step. But even if it isn't, if you wind up having to tweak at some point, it gives you a firm foundation from which to proceed.

3. You write:

I am having a hard time believing I can lose this weight while putting as much food on my plate as my husband who works physically

Does your husband do no-s? If not, he's getting plenty more calories than just what you see on his plate.

Reinhard

florafloraflora · Post by **florafloraflora** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 2:52 pm

Instead of thinking about whether a food is good or bad, how about concentrating on how your food (types and quantities) makes you feel? I know that what's kept me going on this plan is that I feel so much better when I follow the No-S rules: lighter, cleaner, more agile. I do have treats on weekends, but I notice that after a week of moderate No-S eating they make me feel logy and gummed-up by comparison, so that it's almost a relief when I can get back to an N-day. The longer I stick with No-S, the more it feels like the normal, healthy way I live.

I can identify with the worry and self-loathing of being unsure what to eat, which is why I like that No-S takes the guesswork out of it: as long as I stick to one plate, I choose whatever will taste good to me, and lately what tastes good has been a nice balanced meal because I know that's what will make me feel best.

I've never lost an ounce of weight or done myself any good by thinking harsh, self-punishing thoughts. Right now my best motivation is what will make me feel good.

MerryKat · Post by **MerryKat** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:47 am

Milcaz
As a fellow WW ex-follower I understand some of your problem. With other diet plans you are programed to constantly be thinking about what you ate last, what you are going to eat next and the consequences of these.

The freedom that No S brings is a very scary thing - what do you occupy your thoughts with now?? This has taken me 18 months or so to come to grips with.

The bottom line is that I can now get on with my life. I can plan anything I want - house changes, fun for the kids, next handwork project, next holiday, next karting weekend with hubby - all without feeling guilty I am not working my eating plan.

This plan works itself and I am enjoying the freedom and determined not to overcorrect imagined errors which only complicate things.

Hang in there and go back to basics.