When S stands for exceSS

[mondurvic]

What a two days I had! Eat, eat, eat! Piles of sweets!

One thing I'll say for S days, though - they sure make upcoming N days look good. Right now I'm so looking forward to a day of normalcy, a day without sweets. Not without anxiety about whether I can do it, or will. I know I'll be despondent if I don't.

But one thing - one word, really - has bolstered my confidence, and that word is Willpower. Reinhard used it in the very beginning of the NoS home page, which I've been re-reading.

I must tell you that I was stopped in my tracks when I saw it. Willpower! That's as old-fashioned a word as bustle or spats. It was all the rage when I was young - losing weight required Willpower - but it has fallen out of fashion and has even been in disgrace.

To my surprise, I found it inspiring. "Willpower" made having a good N day tomorrow seem possible. I did not feel like a helpless victim faced with powerful forces beyond my control. I do not feel CONFIDENT, or SURE that I will do it, but by gum, I do believe it is within my power to have a good day. I may have to struggle with my desires, make an effort, and even endure, but it is not a foregone conclusion that my desires will win out.

My tendency the past few years has been to feel a craving and go immediately into default position, thinking, "This is impossible", or "I can't". Well, maybe I won't, but if I really, really try, maybe I will. It's been a long time since I've even been willing to engage in the struggle.

What motivates me is that this is the best "diet" I can imagine. It's not without its challenges, but far fewer than the alternatives. I know that after one good day, I'll feel more positive about my prospects - and more so as successful days outnumber the failures.

I'm also very glad I'm only going to weigh myself once every three months. It would NOT be good for me to weigh myself tomorrow.

Thanks for being there, gang.

Judy