Cake at work and other disasters

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apple
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Cake at work and other disasters

Post by apple » Thu Jan 03, 2008 8:36 am

How does everyone deal with this?

It's a birthday/celebration, and someone brings cake to work. Sometimes homemade too. We all sit together, have some coffee and a piece of cake. But how do you say no, without mentioning that you're on a diet, in front of the whole group?

Last time I just chalked it up as a red day, but that should not be the solution every time.

kccc
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Post by kccc » Thu Jan 03, 2008 1:33 pm

You can say...

- Gosh that looks good, but I'm kind of full. Maybe later. (Later need never come.)
- Thanks, but I've had enough sweets today. (Enough can be zero.)
- Happy birthday! None for me, thanks. (If they ASK"are you on a diet?" you can say yes if you like, or answer "not really" since this is more a "way of eating" than a diet, or something in-between like "I'm just cutting back a bit." Whatever level of acknowledgment you care to make.)

My favorite is simply "not right now, maybe later." It can be repeated infinitely. :)

And on a Friday, you can take a slice for the next day.

Note: with homemade stuff, people like to be appreciated. But I have found that if I comment on how good it looks and how nice the person was to make it, etc., that I don't need to actually EAT any for them to feel their effort is acknowledged.

Also, Reinhard's podcast on "Strictness" is a classic - I think every newbie should listen to that one several times. (And I periodically revisit it.)

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reinhard
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Post by reinhard » Thu Jan 03, 2008 2:29 pm

I have been amazed at how little attention people actually pay to what I eat in these situations.

If I stick with just coffee, I'm almost always fine -- no c'mons, no questions, no stares. It's pretty astonishing, book deal and all, how few of my coworkers know what I'm doing.

If the sweet looks particularly tempting, or like a real labor of love, I'll take a piece to have later (or pass on to someone else). I usually explain this up front ("can I take some for later?"). But theoretically you could just keep it in front of you so it looks like you're partaking and then wrap it up for an S-day when no one's looking. I've never actually had to resort to this, but it seems like a reasonable backup plan.

Every once in a while you'll be in a situation where these tricks won't work. Then just chalk it up as a red (or special) day -- maybe it really is special, if someone with the power to guilt you into eating is celebrating a birthday or something. But if you're honest with yourself, these situations are rare. I like my coworkers and all, but very few of them are worth a red mark on my habitcal :-).

Reinhard

wosnes
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Post by wosnes » Thu Jan 03, 2008 2:38 pm

Another thing to realize is that social gatherings or gatherings at work, even birthdays, are rarely about the food. I also think that if you say "No, I'm on a diet" rather than "no thanks, maybe later" or something similar you put yourself in the "poor me" position. "Oh, poor me, I can't have that delicious looking cake because I'm ON A DIET." It's being deprived instead of making a choice not to have something. One makes you feel bad no matter what; the other puts you in control.

What you eat -- or don't eat -- is only an issue if you make it one.

What we say when we talk to ourselves and others is very important!
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."

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apple
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Post by apple » Thu Jan 03, 2008 3:20 pm

Thanks for the input! Sounds a lot easier than I'd have thought. Just have to remember that it's all about the social occasion, instead of an excercise in cake-avoidance.

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Post by wosnes » Thu Jan 03, 2008 4:30 pm

I probably shouldn't admit to this, but I look at the cake, too. If it's your generic grocery store or box cake it's a no-brainer to pass it up. But if it's a really good, bakery made or homemade cake -- well, anymore that's something that qualifies as "special."

I think what it comes down to for me is the ingredients. Are they high quality and few (and I know what they are when I read the ingredient list) or inferior and more chemicals than food? I'll take the high-quality food any time!
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."

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Hunter Gatherer
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Post by Hunter Gatherer » Fri Jan 04, 2008 2:00 am

I help out passing out the cake, and just don't give myself any.
"You've been reading about arctic explorers," I accused him. "If a man's starving he'll eat anything, but when he's just ordinarily hungry he doesn't want to clutter up his stomach with a lot of candy."
Dashiell Hammett

Johnny Quick
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Post by Johnny Quick » Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:23 am

I say that I cannot eat it because I'm diabetic.

They no longer offer me any. :wink:
"It's not over until its over."

Yogi Berra

katie1980
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Post by katie1980 » Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:04 am

Johnny Quick wrote:I say that I cannot eat it because I'm diabetic.

They no longer offer me any. :wink:
I like this. I'm borderline, so it's not far off the truth! I just tell people I don't eat sugar/ I'm not allowed sugar in the week, when they offer me sweets. We don't often have cakes brought into the office where I am at the moment.

And I'm sure that No S is helping my tendancies as far as my Impaired Glucose Tolerance is concerned :) My mates are used to it now, that I don't have sweet stuff in the week, and anyone else who offers weekday sugar seems to just accept it when I say I'm not allowed sugar. It's not a "poor me," thing, the way I say it to them with a grin, so it's never an issue. They usually go "okay" and move on to the next person! Or I just say "no, thank you" and leave it at that. Someone reminded me the other day that "no" is a full sentence on its own - you don't have to justify yourself! That goes for taking on too many tasks, or for declining food or anything :)

Enjoy!

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Post by CrazyCatLady » Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:16 pm

This topic came up in a newer post, and I remembered reading this thread.

I was amazed by the truths in these posts. Every time I have ever told people that I was on a diet, they all pity me, or try to "help" by explaining that I should eat nothing but bean sprouts for a year, etc!

What works for me is the technique to look at the food and offer a compliment like "Those cookies look delicious!", and maybe mention that maybe I'll have later. Saying that I'm cutting back on snacks between meals, or cutting back on sweets works well, too. It is truly amazing to me that no one cares if I eat any of the stuff or not!

And yesterday, when someone brought me a plate with some treats on it, I just gave it back to her and told her no thanks, that I'm cutting back. And I don't feel deprived when I do this. In fact, just the opposite. I feel like I'm tricking the system!

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apple
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Post by apple » Wed Apr 16, 2008 9:03 am

I have to say that I'm getting better at this. When someone offers a chocolate, I just say "no, thanks", sometimes with the excuse that I have a piece of gum already which does not go well with chocolate.

Other times it just feels to impolite to refuse, then I take it and throw it away :oops: , or keep it until the weekend.

And very rarely I accept and enjoy.

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MerryKat
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Post by MerryKat » Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:04 pm

I accept, take savouries and take them back to my office and leave them there. I will then drink coffee and tell anyone who asks, I have my share waiting for lunch.

I then enjoy them for lunch instead of my usual sandwich.

Most people are happy with that.
Hugs from Sunny South Africa
Vanilla No S with no Sugar due to Health issues - 11 yrs No S - September 2016 (some good, some bad (my own doing) but always the right thing for me!)

Too solid flesh
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Cake at work and other disasters

Post by Too solid flesh » Wed Apr 16, 2008 7:05 pm

I say how delicious the food looks, but explain I've had a big breakfast or just add that I won't have a piece, thank you.

Colleagues' expectations quickly adjust, and my not eating the cake has become normal (to me, as well as to others).

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BrightAngel
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Post by BrightAngel » Sat Apr 26, 2008 10:36 pm

apple wrote:Other times it just feels to impolite to refuse,
then I take it and throw it away :oops: , or keep it until the weekend.
I like this solution, but there are lots of good ideas here.
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com

blueskighs
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Post by blueskighs » Mon Apr 28, 2008 12:34 am

I have found when you actually take a piece for later, people are just as pleased as if you eat it right then .... makes me ask? do they just want to get rid of it? :D maybe ....

anyway ... take a piece for later ... if you want it keep it for S day, if you don't dump it in the trash on the way out the door!!!!!!!! Just make sure no one is watching .......hahahhahah!

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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