Everyday Systems

Reading the No-S book has forced me to admit something I've been trying to deceive myself about for a while. I've been back-sliding, and it's catching up with me.

Of course, once I admit that, the problem area stands out like a sore thumb. Sigh. No-S really IS like a spotlight.

Yes, I still tend to have somewhat "wild" S days. But the real issue is dinner. I've been snacking while I cook, and dismissing it as virtual plating. But it's NOT. Plus, I've really been taking seconds "that would have fit on my plate." But I didn't put them there on round one.

So... I need a "Fence around the Law" for dinner. No more virtual plating AT ALL for dinner, at least for a while. I can have hot tea and chew gum until it's ready. No more pretend-it's-not-seconds, either. When it's done, it's done. (I used to have a glass of wine to mark "the end" - may go back to that. And think more carefully about what goes on my plate for "round one and only." Maybe starting with a little more will help.)

The reality is that No-S works very, very well for me, but I do have to be precise about it. Given my gender, age, general metabolism, and current level of exercise, I just don't have a lot of leeway for fudging the rules.

At least problems are easier to catch, correct, and move on from. I don't feel the kind of desperation I used to when I gained a few pounds on other diets - I know exactly what I need to do to get back on track.

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We've all been there. I had a back-avalanche while I was laid up with a busted foot. My virtual plate was the size of the night stand next to the bed I wasn't allowed out of, and I still had "pity me" seconds. If I can easily recover from that, your fence will hold up just fine.

The most important thing is that you have realised there is an issue, identified it and now you can work on it.

Enjoy the freedom of knowing you are no longer bending the rules.

KCCC

I have been there before. I have had to start from scratch many times and be brutally honest. Truthfully, there are times when I could use some armed guards around my nine foot wall around my fence around the law!

Having said that, the best thing may be to do a strict 21 days. Just knowing that you can make it will movtivate you.

Imt. I cracked up about your nightstand-sized plate!
D

cvmom, we won't talk about how high things were stacked on that night stand sized plate. DH, bless his heart he really was trying to be helpful, would load it up 4 to 6 inches high with snacks to get me through the day since I wasn't allowed out of bed until he got home 10 hours later. I'm amazed I wasn't the size of a whale by the time I was taken off bedrest.

LOL

Cvmom, you're right. A strict 21 day is just what I need.

I loved the "back avalanche" metaphor, lmt1pt!

And MerryKat, I really am struck by how different my attitude is on this than it has been when I've backslid on other diets. Knowing what I need to do so clearly is really kind of a relief!

Two good "dinner" days so far.

KCCC wrote:I've been snacking while I cook, and dismissing it as virtual plating. But it's NOT. Plus, I've really been taking seconds "that would have fit on my plate." But I didn't put them there on round one.

I must admit I've been doing this too, I was pleased about having lost a couple of KGs (my target was to loose up to 4kgs) so I kind of slacked off a bit, I was also going through a phase of doing lots of exercise so I'd tell myself "I can have a bit extra today because I'm burning it off".

But, last week I realised what I was doing and made a commitment to get back on track I can't rely on extra exercise either because I know I go through cycles of doing lots and not doing much at all (I have a low boredom threshold!).

Good luck KCCC!

p.s. don't think armed guards are enough for me, I'm deploying a Klingon Battlecruiser to guard the planet inhabited by my fence around the law

It is so scary how we manage to justify any deviation with such ease.

KCCC,

I sometimes regret having come up with the virtual plate concept because it's very open to abuse and I hardly ever resort to it myself.

It's really probably best to save it only for situations like buffets and when you're a guest and can't control you the food is being served. If you're preparing food for yourself at home, or have flexibility about ordering, it's really much safer to stick with a physical plate.

I know it might sound brutally strict, but it's much easier (and kinder on yourself, ultimately) to have an unambiguously defined plate. I love not having to think about this more than once each meal, when I'm loading up my plate to begin with.

Punctuating the end of a meal, with a glass of wine or a piece or gum or brushing your teeth is a great idea, both for your conscious self and for training your animal appetite. It limits the scope for self-deception, and it teaches appetite to associate an external sign with "time to stop."

Reinhard

I am up to three "good" dinner days.

Last night, I was preparing my plate... and put an extra half-slice of fritatta on it to start. I was hungry, wanted it, and didn't want to set myself up for failure by giving myself too little to begin.

It was still a reasonable meal, and I did NOT get actual seconds. And I realized that putting the half-slice on AS seconds would have been a "gateway" to even more food than that!

On the other hand, it has been rather shocking to see how many times I had to stop myself from automatically putting something in my mouth as I cooked! I'm planning on chewing gum for a while to end THAT bad habit.

Reinhard, your essay on "strictness" is one of my lasting favorites. I'm being strict now, and it's already easier.

I like that:

virtual plating only in emergency situations, restaurants/family gathering if you can't help it. Type thing.


Snacking while cooking=out

Licking finger while plating=gray area

need to get more exercise for this to work, movement really

KCCC wrote:I am up to three "good" dinner days.

Good for you! I've had some good days recently too, I even had Sunday as an N day without even realising it (I don't know if other ladies find this but as there are days of the month when my appetite is very high, there are also days at the opposite end where my appetite is very low, so I try to make the most of those days to really get the No S habits to stick!). I do sometimes still allow second servings of vegetables only, if I really feel the need, but lately I have avoided this also to get the no seconds habit to really stick. Good luck to all of us!

It's funny, I had two of the "best" S-days ever this week. Mine are "normally" pretty out-of-control, alas. I had tried a couple of strategies to curb them... but applying limiting strategies stressed me out too much, and I started getting frantic. So I decided to leave them alone for a while.

Two strategies that didn't technically involve limits DID help, I think. One was just tracking how many "Ss" I had, with tick marks. No limit, but just "seeing" excess. The other (new this weekend) was making a simple rule about WHERE I ate. I could have anything I wanted, but it had to be at the table. There must have been six times I reached in the cabinet yesterday, then decided no, I didn't want to take time to sit at the table... I'd rather be (at the computer, reading in my comfy chair, whatever.)

I did have some sweets for desserts... but no seconds or snacks, and the sweets were quite reasonable (at least by prior standards). I noticed at the end of the day when the yummy fudgy brownies I'd made were still sitting out that not only was I satisfied with what I'd already had, I could TELL I was satisfied. As much as I liked them, I didn't want more.

A milestone. Hope it repeats, but I will allow "S days to be S days" in advance if not.

KCCC wrote: No more pretend-it's-not-seconds, either. When it's done, it's done. (I used to have a glass of wine to mark "the end" - may go back to that.

That's a good way to do it!.
I bought fruit, both fresh and frozen and now everytime I think of seconds (pesky habit!) I think that I won't have room for fruit and that I must eat the fruit before it spoils and I have to trash it.
The guilt of trashing fruit is helping.

I've been backsliding too. I just went back to the habit cal tonight. I saw my doctor today and after discussing other things he said "about your weight" and noted that it's up abt 27 lbs since I first saw him in 1999.

He said "It's going the wrong way. Do something about it." That woke me up.

At first I thought would NoS be strong enough, but now I think I need to try it again. Maybe be more consistent with it. I wasn't overweight growing up but as you get older it gets harder...I am going to try again though. Conventional diets never worked for me so I will try here again.

I've backslid this week too KCCC. I've been a bit discouraged about not losing weight over the last month and have been a bit slack with tasting food while I've been cooking and going back for another dollop of mashed pumpkin or whatever. But you've called me to account, girl! I'm going to start 21 days afresh too. Now's not the time for me to slacken off. Rather I need to recommit.

Roseha, I think it's great that your doctor said something, actually. Not fun to hear, but I think a lot of doctors don't pay enough attention to their patients' weight and get real with them and advise them to lose it!

Great for taking responsibility for getting back on track, everyone! I was forced to backslide on the exercise front (doctor's orders) and now I'm trying to figure out what I CAN do (and get it done!).

Roseha, I think it's great that your doctor said something, actually. Not fun to hear, but I think a lot of doctors don't pay enough attention to their patients' weight

I agree Blondie, especially since I told him I'd do it! Great to have Nos to go to so quickly! will have to get the book soon!