Yikes! My problem seems to be the completely random, uncontrollable binging that continues to plague me. I made a list of alternatives to eating large quantities of gross foods, but of course don't pay attention to them once I submit to an hour of "permasnacking."
I feel icky right now, especially since I just had two good days. I just started last week, so I know it will take a while to form good habits, but seriously, folks—why is it so easy for me to undo a whole week of good habits in one hour? The jump from "good day" to "close call day" to "failure day" is so easy to pass through for me. I feel like I have no willpower at all!
Any good tips to bolster my willpower when I'm bored, lonely, or upset?
Oops!...unintentional binging
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
It will get better.
If it helps, a NORMAL stage in any kind of change is "catching yourself after the fact." (All-too-often accompanied by "beating yourself up" for lapses, alas.)
Next stages include planning better alternatives, changing the environment to remove "triggers," isolating specific areas, breaking the problem into smaller steps... all ways to improve success ratios with the new behavior.
Each time you fail is another learning opportunity. What happened? Where were "decision points" you could have taken? What would help?
The important thing is to keep trying.
Best wishes!
If it helps, a NORMAL stage in any kind of change is "catching yourself after the fact." (All-too-often accompanied by "beating yourself up" for lapses, alas.)
Next stages include planning better alternatives, changing the environment to remove "triggers," isolating specific areas, breaking the problem into smaller steps... all ways to improve success ratios with the new behavior.
Each time you fail is another learning opportunity. What happened? Where were "decision points" you could have taken? What would help?
The important thing is to keep trying.
Best wishes!
I know exactly what you mean! I can start snacking easily (I have done the last 2 days!). The thing that has put me back on track today is all the support I've received on the daily check in when I've been doing well - I didn't want to admit failure to the people who've been supporting and encouraging me. I was determined to succeed today so I could return to the site, claim a success and receive some praise!! I know it sounds a bit juvenile - but it works for me 
I have a binging problem, too. After about 11 weeks of NoS, it does seem to be getting better. I concur with what others have said: keep trying. The most important thing is to stick to the N days; if you can do that, the momentum helps carry you through the S days.
I've found that being very strict while shopping for food is helpful. I try only to bring home a small amount of sweets or snacks. Once they're in the house, it's much harder to resist them. I've also had my husband lock junk food in his car.
Don't worry about "letting others who've encouraged you down." Everyone is really here to help, and you'll only find understanding and encouragement. Beating yourself or others up isn't part of NoS; instead, it's just admitting that you screwed up and moving on, with no punishment.
Good luck!
Lisa
I've found that being very strict while shopping for food is helpful. I try only to bring home a small amount of sweets or snacks. Once they're in the house, it's much harder to resist them. I've also had my husband lock junk food in his car.
Don't worry about "letting others who've encouraged you down." Everyone is really here to help, and you'll only find understanding and encouragement. Beating yourself or others up isn't part of NoS; instead, it's just admitting that you screwed up and moving on, with no punishment.
Good luck!
Lisa
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freegirlnow
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Sat Feb 23, 2008 3:43 pm
- Location: Ohio
- Contact:
Sometimes adjusting our thinking helps...I know I've posted this in my daily check-in more than once. Sometimes we feel like we are treating ourselves or being kind to ourselves when we over indulge. But I just feel awful (emotionally and physically) afterwards. These days I try to tell myself that binging is not a kindness to myself. I tell myself that when I binge I am just punishing myself for being fat....by getting fatter. I don't know if anyone else can relate to the concept of "psyching" themselves into or out of behavior like that but it seems to be working for me. I am learning to love myself enough to treat myself better. I rarely buy snacks or junk food...I try to stick with whole food which are far more satisfying than processed foods, and I enjoy a good plate full at each meal. I am 3 weeks into No S and it seems to be working. And remember when you do fall off the wagon, this is life, not a marathon. Good luck!
"Sometimes we need to begin again, to become more fully alive, to realize ourselves"
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dinosaursue
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 10:17 pm
Thank you all for the support and words! I hate that I knowingly "give in" to my cravings. I work a really irregular schedule, so my "S" days/weekends are sometimes work days and some of my days off are "N" days—all of which means I'm having a hard time developing a routine.
Anyway, I know this is going to take a while, but it's so hard for me to stop once I start eating, so I get really frustrated. And when I'm bored at work, and my workspace is near the office kitchen, and no one is around...well, you can fill in the rest. Blech!
Again, you all are so great with your responses. I really like the attitude of Reinhard's plan and of this community. The guilt of overeating is there as a positive deterrent, instead of a self-defeating straitjacket. And having this discussion board for my questions (er, and venting!) is so good to have.
Anyway, I know this is going to take a while, but it's so hard for me to stop once I start eating, so I get really frustrated. And when I'm bored at work, and my workspace is near the office kitchen, and no one is around...well, you can fill in the rest. Blech!
Again, you all are so great with your responses. I really like the attitude of Reinhard's plan and of this community. The guilt of overeating is there as a positive deterrent, instead of a self-defeating straitjacket. And having this discussion board for my questions (er, and venting!) is so good to have.
While I have never suffered from binge eating, my weight problems coming mostly from lack of exercise and alchool drinking on weekends, i have found a little trick that helped me with other kinds of binging (smoking, drinking, sleeping too much).
I have discovered this little gem while watching the first Lost series (i've read the show is already over in the US so probably nobody remembers about this -- don't tell me anything about how the story developes since i have seen 5 shows only!)
---spoilers, don't read---
The addicted guy (the musician), has some drugs hidden in his pants and the bald guy (the survivalist) steals it from him to help him to stop.
He tells him that he will have his smack back if he asks 3 times for it, but that the smart thing to do would be to quit BEFORE it ends, he should make a choice and take action instead of letting his brain control his behaviour.
---end of spoilers---
While this may sound naive and kind of stupid, it really helped me.
Whenever i notice i am running out of cigarettes or when i wake up before the alarm rings and just stay in bed, i ask myself if i want outer things to control my life (and they will, i can keep on smoking and i will run out of cigarettes, i can go back to sleep and alarm will ring, soon or later) or if i want to decide by myself how my life will be.
Keep up with life, destroy what tries to take control on yourself and never let the world (food, drugs, alchool, sleep, money) change your mind.
Just my 2c, i hope it can help you as it has helped me, i don't mean to sound like a televangelist
t.
I have discovered this little gem while watching the first Lost series (i've read the show is already over in the US so probably nobody remembers about this -- don't tell me anything about how the story developes since i have seen 5 shows only!)
---spoilers, don't read---
The addicted guy (the musician), has some drugs hidden in his pants and the bald guy (the survivalist) steals it from him to help him to stop.
He tells him that he will have his smack back if he asks 3 times for it, but that the smart thing to do would be to quit BEFORE it ends, he should make a choice and take action instead of letting his brain control his behaviour.
---end of spoilers---
While this may sound naive and kind of stupid, it really helped me.
Whenever i notice i am running out of cigarettes or when i wake up before the alarm rings and just stay in bed, i ask myself if i want outer things to control my life (and they will, i can keep on smoking and i will run out of cigarettes, i can go back to sleep and alarm will ring, soon or later) or if i want to decide by myself how my life will be.
Keep up with life, destroy what tries to take control on yourself and never let the world (food, drugs, alchool, sleep, money) change your mind.
Just my 2c, i hope it can help you as it has helped me, i don't mean to sound like a televangelist
t.
we do what we want because we can
dinosaursue,
Most of us come here with very little willpower, so don't feel guilty about that. The idea is to leverage the little willpower you have by simple, natural, and unobtrusive rules to build habits, which then more or less automatically do the right thing for you. It's hard to build habits. It may take many attempts -- it probably will. But I find it really comforting to know, starting out, that one day it really isn't going to be hard anymore -- that what you're investing your willpower in today is having to use less of it tomorrow.
And as an added bonus, your willpower gets a workout in the process. So the next habit you try to build will become easier, the next one easier than that, etc. In time, you'll no longer think of yourself as a person without much willpower. You may be a "98 pound weakling now" but keep it up and you'll be a Tony Atlas of willpower.
You mention that it is really hard for you to stop eating once you start. I think this is a pretty common experience, which is why the "no snacks" rule is so important, it puts the focus on "not starting" to begin with.
Of course, no one's perfect, and now and then a "start" will get past your defenses. In such cases, the bulletin board can be a great tool for damage control. If you catch yourself slipping up and want to jolt yourself out of eating even more, think " Ok, today may not be a success. But do I really want to post to the bulletin board that I've eaten THAT MUCH food? That I snacked THAT MANY times?" Think about how much more satisfying it will be to post "I snacked -- but I caught myself and stopped before it turned into a total disaster."
Reinhard
Most of us come here with very little willpower, so don't feel guilty about that. The idea is to leverage the little willpower you have by simple, natural, and unobtrusive rules to build habits, which then more or less automatically do the right thing for you. It's hard to build habits. It may take many attempts -- it probably will. But I find it really comforting to know, starting out, that one day it really isn't going to be hard anymore -- that what you're investing your willpower in today is having to use less of it tomorrow.
And as an added bonus, your willpower gets a workout in the process. So the next habit you try to build will become easier, the next one easier than that, etc. In time, you'll no longer think of yourself as a person without much willpower. You may be a "98 pound weakling now" but keep it up and you'll be a Tony Atlas of willpower.
You mention that it is really hard for you to stop eating once you start. I think this is a pretty common experience, which is why the "no snacks" rule is so important, it puts the focus on "not starting" to begin with.
Of course, no one's perfect, and now and then a "start" will get past your defenses. In such cases, the bulletin board can be a great tool for damage control. If you catch yourself slipping up and want to jolt yourself out of eating even more, think " Ok, today may not be a success. But do I really want to post to the bulletin board that I've eaten THAT MUCH food? That I snacked THAT MANY times?" Think about how much more satisfying it will be to post "I snacked -- but I caught myself and stopped before it turned into a total disaster."
Reinhard
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dinosaursue
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 10:17 pm
These are all very helpful. I hate that I am not control of my attitude and actions regarding food. I remember that scene from Lost, but I never associated it with changing my food habits. Ultimately, it's all about being conscious—aware of the now, tuned into my body's actual needs, and mindfully enjoying all food as nourishing and delicious...not to be too cerebral or anything.
I know how I feel when I decide to start snacking—bored, frustrated, lonely or sad. Sometimes I make excuses for myself. But usually I just am mindless about the whole thing. There isn't will involved.
I like what you say about it being just one day, Reinhard. One day isn't hard. That makes me mindful of the moment, of the one day, of not messing up...maybe if I treat the "now" as a chance to hold off on snacking instead treating the "now" of as a one-time excuse to go ahead and snack, then my willpower will be strengthened!
I made a chart and taped it to my bathroom mirror to track my successful days, near-misses, and failures. It's easy for me to venture from "near-miss" to "failure," since I think to myself..."hey, I might as well chuck this day in the trash since I've already botched up—where's the chocolate-chip cookies?"
But that's not doing me any good in forming new habits. The near-misses should be motivation enough to have a success the next day, instead of the near-misses being the norm.
This is a lot of ranting, and it's mostly for my own sake, but I hope participating in this board will give me the encouragement I need to be more strict. I am good with the no seconds and okay with the no sweets...it's the snacking that's doing me in!
So, I resolve to 21 days of good habits. Three weeks is a good suggestion, and doable. I will follow the NoS diet to the letter during those two weeks before I make any mods or judgments. And while I may feel frustrated if I mess up, I won't let it cause me to backslide. I guess that means I should post on the Daily Check-In board, eh?
I know how I feel when I decide to start snacking—bored, frustrated, lonely or sad. Sometimes I make excuses for myself. But usually I just am mindless about the whole thing. There isn't will involved.
I like what you say about it being just one day, Reinhard. One day isn't hard. That makes me mindful of the moment, of the one day, of not messing up...maybe if I treat the "now" as a chance to hold off on snacking instead treating the "now" of as a one-time excuse to go ahead and snack, then my willpower will be strengthened!
I made a chart and taped it to my bathroom mirror to track my successful days, near-misses, and failures. It's easy for me to venture from "near-miss" to "failure," since I think to myself..."hey, I might as well chuck this day in the trash since I've already botched up—where's the chocolate-chip cookies?"
But that's not doing me any good in forming new habits. The near-misses should be motivation enough to have a success the next day, instead of the near-misses being the norm.
This is a lot of ranting, and it's mostly for my own sake, but I hope participating in this board will give me the encouragement I need to be more strict. I am good with the no seconds and okay with the no sweets...it's the snacking that's doing me in!
So, I resolve to 21 days of good habits. Three weeks is a good suggestion, and doable. I will follow the NoS diet to the letter during those two weeks before I make any mods or judgments. And while I may feel frustrated if I mess up, I won't let it cause me to backslide. I guess that means I should post on the Daily Check-In board, eh?
Dinasaursue, one of my BIGGEST accomplishments was breaking the "oh, I've already blown it, so why bother trying?" mentality.
It took time, and multiple efforts. However, I'm really proud of going from nearly-always falling into that trap to hardly-ever falling into it.
You'll get there. Be kind and encouraging to yourself, and ask for help when you need it.
It took time, and multiple efforts. However, I'm really proud of going from nearly-always falling into that trap to hardly-ever falling into it.
You'll get there. Be kind and encouraging to yourself, and ask for help when you need it.
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Hunter Gatherer
- Posts: 317
- Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2006 2:30 am
- Location: Texas
Something that helps me not start is knowing that I can have it later.
On the hard days I keep a count in my head, and it's wonderful to know that a treat is never more than five days away (and yes, I do have days where I am constantly thinking "Only 4 1/2 days until ICE CREAM!"). This is more for sweets but it also happens with snacks. Fortunately with snacks the time frame reduces even further ("Only 10 hours until BREAKFAST!"
Sometimes I will find something in my hand (an orange, some crackers, nuts, whatever) and I can put it down because I know I can have it with the next meal. I can set whatever it is aside in a special place to make sure I get it (and not somebody else!).
Feel free to rant away! That's what we're here for.
On the hard days I keep a count in my head, and it's wonderful to know that a treat is never more than five days away (and yes, I do have days where I am constantly thinking "Only 4 1/2 days until ICE CREAM!"). This is more for sweets but it also happens with snacks. Fortunately with snacks the time frame reduces even further ("Only 10 hours until BREAKFAST!"
Sometimes I will find something in my hand (an orange, some crackers, nuts, whatever) and I can put it down because I know I can have it with the next meal. I can set whatever it is aside in a special place to make sure I get it (and not somebody else!).
Feel free to rant away! That's what we're here for.
"You've been reading about arctic explorers," I accused him. "If a man's starving he'll eat anything, but when he's just ordinarily hungry he doesn't want to clutter up his stomach with a lot of candy."
Dashiell Hammett
Dashiell Hammett
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freegirlnow
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Sat Feb 23, 2008 3:43 pm
- Location: Ohio
- Contact:
Being in the NOW is key and you recognize that. I always try to remind myself that 'This moment is the cosmic seed of my destiny"....because each moment truly contains the potentiality which creates either what we do want or what we don't want to manifest in our lives. 
"Sometimes we need to begin again, to become more fully alive, to realize ourselves"
I too struggle with binge eating, especially at night.
When I binge, it's almost never because I'm hungry. It's because part of me wants to eat, wants that satisfaction of tasting yummy food right freakin now.
When I CHOOSE to binge (and it is vital that I remember that bingeing is a choice) I am making this choice for a reason.
It comes back to another thread I posted recently:
Q: why do we continue to do things that we know are not good for us, that will harm us and bring no lasting benefit?
A: because we are not yet good enough at loving ourselves.
When we surrender our out-of-control Will To Binge over the the "eating algorithm" of No-S, then it gets simpler. "Nope, not time to eat yet. Next meal in 2 hours" can be very effective.
When I binge, it's almost never because I'm hungry. It's because part of me wants to eat, wants that satisfaction of tasting yummy food right freakin now.
When I CHOOSE to binge (and it is vital that I remember that bingeing is a choice) I am making this choice for a reason.
It comes back to another thread I posted recently:
Q: why do we continue to do things that we know are not good for us, that will harm us and bring no lasting benefit?
A: because we are not yet good enough at loving ourselves.
When we surrender our out-of-control Will To Binge over the the "eating algorithm" of No-S, then it gets simpler. "Nope, not time to eat yet. Next meal in 2 hours" can be very effective.
JWL[.|@]Freakwitch[.]net
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dinosaursue
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 10:17 pm
Wow. This week I took all this inspiration and advice and definitely bolstered my willpower! Using all of your help, I've come up with three ideas that keep me going:
1. Neglecting to form good habits doesn't just delay the good habits; it also reinforces the bad—"now" (i.e., any given moment) is never the exception.
2. I can get through any pressing emotion without food. In fact, it forces me to be in the moment and be aware instead of covering it up with the act of eating.
3. The longest I have to wait for a meal is 12 hours. And at that meal I'll be able to eat filling, thought-out, varied foods, which is certainly worth more than the snacks I'll have in the meantime! Also, the longest I'll go without sweets is five days...and the less I eat of them, the less I crave them.
4. When you designate times to eat, food no longer controls your life: it's not the answer to sadness, boredom, or loneliness, nor is it the proper reward for achievements or happiness. Food is food, and it should be healthful and delicious and fuel your body, not your emotions.
I feel so in control right now! Reinhard's plan is freeing, in actuality, because I no longer count calories or feel guilty about what I eat. I'm thoughtful about it what I put in my body, and appreciate food as fuel and as being yummy and diverse. (And, I lost a pound this week, which is certainly encouraging!)
Thank you, everyone who answered. I know I'm going to have ups and downs, but I am definitely going to be able to stop food's control over my life over the course of my life.
1. Neglecting to form good habits doesn't just delay the good habits; it also reinforces the bad—"now" (i.e., any given moment) is never the exception.
2. I can get through any pressing emotion without food. In fact, it forces me to be in the moment and be aware instead of covering it up with the act of eating.
3. The longest I have to wait for a meal is 12 hours. And at that meal I'll be able to eat filling, thought-out, varied foods, which is certainly worth more than the snacks I'll have in the meantime! Also, the longest I'll go without sweets is five days...and the less I eat of them, the less I crave them.
4. When you designate times to eat, food no longer controls your life: it's not the answer to sadness, boredom, or loneliness, nor is it the proper reward for achievements or happiness. Food is food, and it should be healthful and delicious and fuel your body, not your emotions.
I feel so in control right now! Reinhard's plan is freeing, in actuality, because I no longer count calories or feel guilty about what I eat. I'm thoughtful about it what I put in my body, and appreciate food as fuel and as being yummy and diverse. (And, I lost a pound this week, which is certainly encouraging!)
Thank you, everyone who answered. I know I'm going to have ups and downs, but I am definitely going to be able to stop food's control over my life over the course of my life.