I tried the No-S several months ago but I was right in the middle of Culinary school and it was really hard to keep any kind of habit going as my schedule was continually changing.
Anway I finished a couple of weeks ago and realized I was ready to begin No-S again. I've been dieting since I was 10-ugh and have about 50 lbs to lose.
I got so sick of the constant dieting/bingeing cycle along w/ all the self-hatred and total self-absorption that comes with it. So probably over the last 10 years (im 40 almost) I've been focusing on size acceptance and overcoming my fear of eating certain things and total food obsession. It's been good and very very enlightening but I gained 50 lbs in the process and my eating is still all over the place. I like that I'm not afraid to eat certain foods anymore but don't like that chaotic feeling of constantly eating and/or thinking about food.
I realized that it reminds me too much of my chaotic childhood. It wasn't a terrible childhood but my parents were divorced, my mom worked and there was no routine or order to our lives. I remember how I craved to be more like my "normal" friends. Part of what I envyed was the regularity of their meals and the normalcy of what they ate. They ate real foods at certain times , sitting together usually as a family. My family was always on some sort of diet or another (we all weighed ourselves every morning) and we just ate whenever, whereever.
I realized that while I don't want to go back to the negative feelings of being on a strict diet. I do crave "normalcy" I crave consistency and routine and the feeling that I know w/ certainity a good meal is coming right around the corner. That makes it so in between meals I can relax and focus on the rest of my life.
I think when I started no-S before I was in conflict a bit because deep down I thought oh this is just antoher diet that I'm trying to trick myself into doing so I'll lose weight...this is just antoher way of telling myself I'm unacceptable the way I am. But a few days ago, I realized, no this is something I need to do for my own sanity and happiness. This is the best way I can take care of myself in this aspect of my life. I may not have a full blown eating disordered but my eating is definitely disordered and the No-S plan can give me the peace that I so crave.
I won't lie and say I don't want to lose weight because I definitely feel that my body is not at it's optimal weight but I can remember that I am so much more than how I look and that most important thing is putting eating in it's proper place so I can get on with the rest of my life. I think that my body will respond to this lifestyle by coming to a comfortable weight for me. I know I feel better w/ excercising and that is something I plan to tackle next.
Anyway, it's only been 3 days since I've been back on the No-S but it's been such a relief. it's incredibly calming to know you have a start and ending to your eating and the ending is fine because I know that anther statisfying meal is right around the corner. It's so easy to pick satisfying meals when your body actually gets a chance to feel hunger.
So anyway, I just wanted to share my experience and that I'm really looking forward to this journey.
Linda
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