Structure and Emotional Eating

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Tue May 06, 2008 3:57 pm

One really nice thing about having one's eating Structured..
....like 3 meals and no snacks...
is how easy becomes to define "emotional eating".

for example, when I hang up the phone after a difficult conversation,
and suddenly become aware that I feel as though I'm starving.
Instead of immediately heading for the cupboard to satisfy that urge,
First I ask:

Is it time for one of my 3 meals?
No?
It then becomes obvious that eating at that point would be due to "emotional eating".

If I'm really physically hungry,
After all the "starvation" diets I've been on,
I know that physical hunger won't kill me before my next meal.
I just need to learn that emotional hunger won't kill me either.

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Tue May 06, 2008 4:06 pm

Good insight. I liked it!

OrganicGal · Post by **OrganicGal** » Tue May 06, 2008 4:20 pm

I agree! And a good way to stay conscious of the difference.

Jaymiz · Post by **Jaymiz** » Tue May 06, 2008 5:16 pm

Very true! And, I noted that in myself this morning, too -- I wanted popcorn, and knew it wasn't yet time for my next meal, so it *was* very clear that the popcorn craving was just "emotional".

Jesseco · Post by **Jesseco** » Tue May 06, 2008 8:13 pm

BrightAngel wrote:

I just need to learn that emotional hunger won't kill me either.

This is so true for me, too! And I'm learning that it won't!!! Eating does not solve relational problems!

cornelia · Post by **cornelia** » Tue May 06, 2008 9:01 pm

I have noticed that when I am cooking and getting supper on the table, that I will start eating a little of this and that as I go about accumulating the meal. I have to keep reminding myself, not to eat a single morsel before I sit down. I shut my mouth and pretend my lips are sealed. I think we have habits that we don't even know we have. We start to recognize these little unconcious habits as we get a good handle on this way of eating. We have to really get tuned in and stay there.

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Tue May 06, 2008 9:16 pm

cornelia wrote:We start to recognize these little unconcious habits as we get a good handle on this way of eating. We have to really get tuned in and stay there.

It is truly amazing how unconsciously we do eat and how often. I cannot THINK of how often I'll see someone about my size say (and BELIEVE IT) that they eat less than 1500 calories a day.

If someone mentions that might not be so, they'll get indignant. (I keep my damn mouth shut. I've got enough trouble managing my own life and habits, thank you!)

It's not because we're stupid or bad. It's because we DONT REGISTER that we're doing it.

Jesseco · Post by **Jesseco** » Tue May 06, 2008 11:03 pm

cornelia wrote:I have noticed that when I am cooking and getting supper on the table, that I will start eating a little of this and that as I go about accumulating the meal. I have to keep reminding myself, not to eat a single morsel before I sit down. I shut my mouth and pretend my lips are sealed. I think we have habits that we don't even know we have. We start to recognize these little unconcious habits as we get a good handle on this way of eating. We have to really get tuned in and stay there.

While we're on this topic, does anyone have any suggestions for cooking, then? I DON'T taste while cooking--haven't for years because I don't want the calories! But my kids complain that I need to so that I can season or adjust the food properly. I tell them to season it themselves, but one of them says it's better cooked with the seasonings.

Of course, my husband doesn't like the same seasonings that this "child" (he's an adult) does!

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Tue May 06, 2008 11:06 pm

Jesseco wrote:I tell them to season it themselves, but one of them says it's better cooked with the seasonings.

Of course, my husband doesn't like the same seasonings that this "child" (he's an adult) does!

Since you imply that the child is of legal age, I DO have a wonderful answer.

"If it's better cooked with specific seasonings and you want food that way, please feel free to cook yourself a meal to suit yourself!"

I HAVE DONE THIS to my 12 year old when he got snarky about the way I made a dish.

Mavilu · Post by **Mavilu** » Tue May 06, 2008 11:26 pm

Well, I don't think that tasting your food will give you that many additional calories, it's just a taste or two max, after all.
I would never think of not tasting what I've ccoked right before I send it to the table on the grounds that it will cause me to significantly increase my daily calories requirement.

"If it's better cooked with specific seasonings and you want food that way, please feel free to cook yourself a meal to suit yourself!"

This I used to tell my husband when we first got married, he quickly learned to quit being snarky.

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Tue May 06, 2008 11:29 pm

I don't taste everything, but I taste some things for seasoning before I serve. It's not like I'm constantly sampling it -- taste, adjust, taste. So maybe two teaspoons of a dish. Not enough to worry about. I do agree that food tastes better with seasonings added during cooking, not at the table.

CrazyCatLady · Post by **CrazyCatLady** » Wed May 07, 2008 12:34 am

I also have the terrible habit of munching as I fix meals. A few veggies here, a bite of cheese there, and it really is silly how much I was eating before dinner!

Since No S-ing, I have cut that out. It is still a challenge to remind myself not to munch! But I do taste test some foods for seasoning...it never adds up to more than a bite or two max, as Mavilu and Wosnes mentioned. After all, No S is partially about freedom from silly food rules, right?

So for me, no more mindless munching, but its ok to taste certain things for flavor.

As for emotional eating, and eating out of habit....yes, I'm still working on that, too. Had a lovely lunch out today, and came back to my office to a box of chocolates, and my GOODNESS did I ever want a piece badly! Simple bad habit, as I was really quite full! Luckily the No S rule came to my aid...no snacks and no sweets, so no chocolate for me!

3aday · Post by **3aday** » Wed May 07, 2008 2:10 am

For me, personally, I found when I make a mental decision to commit to 3 moderate meals a day, it leaves no room for emotional eating. It isn't an option.
Emotions cause "phantom" hunger which feels just like real biological hunger would.
However, when you eat a balanced, normal sized meal, it actually takes hours for your body to actually require food/fuel.
So, you may actually feel "real" hunger, but it's our emotions that are fueling it.
Stress, frustration, boredom, loneliness...they all tend to make you feel hungry when you don't need food.
The more you ignore that phantom hunger, over time (and it can take a long time) you eventually learn to overpower it.
I had to....if I continued to fuel my emotions with food, my quality of life would have deteriorated completely. (Constant shame from out of control eating).

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Wed May 07, 2008 2:10 am

I side with those who say it's okay to taste for seasonings while cooking,
and I don't call taking a small fraction of a teaspoon snacking...
I find it takes me less than 1/8 tsp per taste,
and I don't think that kind of tasting is even eating, let alone snacking.
Now, if I were to actually EAT several teaspoons full or more,
while I was "tasteing" that would be snacking.
Also, "tasteing" isn't nibbling...Nibbling would be snacking.

3aday · Post by **3aday** » Wed May 07, 2008 2:22 am

I agree with Brightangel!
I taste my food when cooking!
I have had some pretty disastrous results when not tasting when cooking my meals.
But, a taste has to be just.....a taste.

3aday · Post by **3aday** » Wed May 07, 2008 2:30 am

I want to add, emotional hunger tends to come on fast and strong and can be very specific.
Physical hunger comes more slowly.
When you are really, physically hungry, you can cook and wait for that healthier meal.
For me, emotional hunger can be the determining factor if I make dinner or if I pick up something to eat because I don't want to wait that extra half hour or so to prepare something.
Even though I don't eat in between meals to avoid emotional eating, I know it still has a hold on me sometimes when dinnertime rolls around.
If I am stressed or overwhelmed....I want to pick up something that is not as "wholesome" as a home cooked meal.
But, I stick to one plate of it. No matter what.
It's a journey. It really is.

Rheba · Post by **Rheba** » Wed May 07, 2008 12:33 pm

I find that true physical hunger is satisfied when I eat my meal. But if it is emotional hunger........NOTHING satisfies me! So I am sticking with the 3 meals, single plate and learning to ignore my emotional hunger pangs. Not easy, but it will be worth it in the long run. And I was/am a BIG emotional eater person so these last few weeks have been hard at times but I have not given in.
As for tasting while cooking......yes, I do. But like some of you have said, 1/8 tsp. is sufficient for tasting for seasoning. So I will continue to taste test for seasonings!

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Wed May 07, 2008 1:46 pm

Rheba wrote:I find that true physical hunger is satisfied when I eat my meal.
But if it is emotional hunger........NOTHING satisfies me!

So I am sticking with the 3 meals, single plate
and learning to ignore my emotional hunger pangs.

So very true.

Excellent behavior.

blueskighs · Post by **blueskighs** » Wed May 07, 2008 11:15 pm

I find that true physical hunger is satisfied when I eat my meal. But if it is emotional hunger........NOTHING satisfies me!

I think that is the real truth for me .... that is why for me emotional hunger is also the endless hunger ... relentless

when that comes up I just need to look at what is going on in my life

So I am sticking with the 3 meals, single plate and learning to ignore my emotional hunger pangs. Not easy, but it will be worth it in the long run.

the only difference here is i acknowledge my emotional hunger and take a few seconds to figure out what is going on ...usually its something manageable...

Blueskighs

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Sat May 17, 2008 5:17 pm

reinhard wrote:A lot of us associate structure with something confining and oppressive (as it certainly can be),
but good structures are a support, something you can lean on,
something that gives you more freedom than you'd have without,
flopped out helplessly on the ground.

Reinhard

Here's something I found in another thread,
that I find very true
and which also seems appropriate for this one.

I am finding, at this point, that using the No S Structure,
to define my food,
provides comfort for me.

Sheiler · Post by **Sheiler** » Sat May 17, 2008 8:17 pm

BrightAngel, Thanks for starting this thread. Emotional Eating has always been a real challenge for me. I realized the other day that the structure of this program really was holding me up, though I might not have thought to put it exactly that way. I was frustrated by something my son had done, and a little angry, and I immediately wanted something to eat. It wasn't meal time so it was plain what I was doing, so I was able to let it go, and by mealtime I was past that and ate a normal meal. Halleluia (choruses start to sing).

On that note, I'm also getting a handle on sweets. My son gave me a chocolate orange for mother's day. It is still sitting, in plain site, on top of my refrigerator unopened. I didn't reach for it when I was upset, which I certainly would have before, and I have no desire to open it now, even though it's an S day. I may give it to my daughter when I see her

Everyday Systems

Structure and Emotional Eating

Structure and Emotional Eating

Re: Structure and Emotional Eating

Taste while cooking