Hi Guys,
I took 6 months off of No-S (Hope this isn't too much info, but I've been depressed, in therapy, and working a high-stress job. The last thing I've had energy for is dieting; I've been on a sort of mental overload.)
I am feeling a bit grey. Gained about 8 pounds, which on my 5' 3" frame is huge, and now I weigh more than I ever have, including when I was pregnant.
It just feels awful, and I have this sinking feeling that nothing in the world will help. Except No-S. But that Im afraid of failing again. My willpower seems to be in the toilet.
Guys, I need you. Honestly, I don't know if I can do this alone. But I need to get strict now or I'll be in danger of really slipping away. KCCC, your rational , humane way of looking at life has always inspired me.
Does anyone out there have some will power tips? I know, the bottom line is "Just do it!", but what happens with me is that I do it for about 3 days and then it just feels too hard and I quit. And hate myself.
Help, please!
Betty
Back. Need help with will power, please!
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
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blueskighs
- Posts: 1787
- Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:11 am
- Location: California
Bettyp,
it sounds like you have a lot going on. this is simple but not necessarily easy.
Have you read the book? I just found it really helpful, it really helped me understand how doing NO S OPTIMIZES my LIMITED will power towards a higher chance of success.
I think for me will power is at the root BELIEVING. I REALLY BELIEVE WITH ALL OF MY HEART AND EVERY CELL IN MY BODY that No S is the ONLY WAY for me to go.
Otherwise, I think focussing on one meal at a time. That is literally what I do when I hit tough moments.
Is it meal time? NO, then I need to being something, ANYTHING else besides eating.
That is what is working for me. I know you will get a lot of great tips from others. The key will be in figuring out what works for you and committing to it.
Glad you are here! Glad you are posting! You have all of my support and encouragement,
Blueskighs
it sounds like you have a lot going on. this is simple but not necessarily easy.
Have you read the book? I just found it really helpful, it really helped me understand how doing NO S OPTIMIZES my LIMITED will power towards a higher chance of success.
I think for me will power is at the root BELIEVING. I REALLY BELIEVE WITH ALL OF MY HEART AND EVERY CELL IN MY BODY that No S is the ONLY WAY for me to go.
Otherwise, I think focussing on one meal at a time. That is literally what I do when I hit tough moments.
Is it meal time? NO, then I need to being something, ANYTHING else besides eating.
That is what is working for me. I know you will get a lot of great tips from others. The key will be in figuring out what works for you and committing to it.
Glad you are here! Glad you are posting! You have all of my support and encouragement,
Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey
Hi Betty,
I am only a beginner and I do worry about the same thing - that I won't have enough will power to keep it going. Especially that I am feeling a bit low at the moment and the next few months will be quite stressful at work...
I think for me the key to make it work (or to at least to make my best attempt to make it work) is to try to convince myself that I do it because I like this way of eating - as opposed to because this way I can lose weight (I've never been good in following long term goals, I sometimes even doubt whether I have any will power at all
).
So I am trying to enjoy it. Whenever I feel hungry or in a need of a snack I try to come up something nice I can have for my next meal. I try to figure out what I would fancy eating, maybe google for recipes, maybe go and buy this one ingredient that will make my next meal special... (I do enjoy cooking though, so maybe that helps?) This way I feel like I have something (short-term) to look forward to.
Whenever I feel hungry, I think - oh that's nice, it means I must be burning my fat now as opposed to my last meal
I also keep telling myself, as often as I can, that "I hate eating between the meals". Somehow, I try to associate in my head eating between the meals with feeling rubbish and bloated and unpleasant. I know this is a bit silly, but I am hoping that if I say it enough times it will stick. Somehow.
All I can say is I really hope we will all manage to stick with noS, as
I am only a beginner and I do worry about the same thing - that I won't have enough will power to keep it going. Especially that I am feeling a bit low at the moment and the next few months will be quite stressful at work...
I think for me the key to make it work (or to at least to make my best attempt to make it work) is to try to convince myself that I do it because I like this way of eating - as opposed to because this way I can lose weight (I've never been good in following long term goals, I sometimes even doubt whether I have any will power at all
).So I am trying to enjoy it. Whenever I feel hungry or in a need of a snack I try to come up something nice I can have for my next meal. I try to figure out what I would fancy eating, maybe google for recipes, maybe go and buy this one ingredient that will make my next meal special... (I do enjoy cooking though, so maybe that helps?) This way I feel like I have something (short-term) to look forward to.
Whenever I feel hungry, I think - oh that's nice, it means I must be burning my fat now as opposed to my last meal
I also keep telling myself, as often as I can, that "I hate eating between the meals". Somehow, I try to associate in my head eating between the meals with feeling rubbish and bloated and unpleasant. I know this is a bit silly, but I am hoping that if I say it enough times it will stick. Somehow.
All I can say is I really hope we will all manage to stick with noS, as
try-tryNo S is the ONLY WAY
Re: Back. Need help with will power, please!
It's much easier to avoid temptation than to resist it. Until your habits are strong enough I suggest you avoid getting into situations where you will be tempted.Betty wrote:Does anyone out there have some will power tips?
Also when you find yourself obsessing about food do take some action do distract yourself from the endless loop of your thoughts. Drink a glass of water. Go for a walk. Practice relaxation techniques. Pick up a complex knitting pattern. Read a thriller. Anything. Experiment to find what can the most effectively engross or distract you.
And when you fail: don't give up. We all have failed days. Examine the circumstances that led to failure, and take measures to minimize temptation the next time your foresee those circumstances happening. It might mean "avoid standing too close to the sweets vending machine". It might mean "have slightly bigger meals to avoid getting too hungry". It might mean "get really busy around my usual sweets-craving time". etc.
Failure happens. Setbacks happen. Sometimes the only progress you can measure is the increasing number of new attempts you make after each failure or setback.
But, in the meantime, you've had one or two or three more good N-days on end. Surely those good days are reprogramming your mind, one neuron at a time, towards good habits. Surely on those good days you ate just a little less than you would have otherwise, and imperceptibly your bodyweight must follow.
Started NoS Jan 07 at 74.5kg (164 lbs, BMI 26.7)
Stable since Jan 08 at 64kg (141 lbs, BMI 23)
My progress chart
Stable since Jan 08 at 64kg (141 lbs, BMI 23)
My progress chart
The thing that usually gets me going again, after a time of being discouraged and having a hard time getting motivated, is to read success stories. Try http://www.theweighwewere.com It's full of "success stories" of people who've lost a lot of weight and kept it off. Reading these helps me to see that I'm not alone, and that, if others can lose over 100 pounds!, I can certainly do what it takes to lose my measley 32 lbs.
My other thing is to pray for motivation.
My other thing is to pray for motivation.
http://jaymiz.wordpress.com (The 'No S' Life)
"The more you do a thing, the easier it becomes" ~ Anon.
"The more you do a thing, the easier it becomes" ~ Anon.
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
will power is highly overrated
I've learned that "will power" is highly overrated.
For me, the secret is to "do the next indicated thing".
(Any of you who've ever been in 12 step programs may already know what that is.)
When it's a difficult day, I try to Isolate every single task,
and just do what I have to do that minute.
For example,
let's say I'm depressed....even for some valid reason...
If I wake up in the morning and think about all the things I'm expected to do that day,
I might find myself unwilling or unable to even get up.
But if I focus on getting out of bed to go to the restroom,
then from the restroom, focus on getting dressed,
and then after getting dressed walking into the kitchen,
and in the kitchen getting my tea ready,
and then.... and then....and then....
all day ...pretty soon, I've accomplished quite a bit, and I feel much
better.
That's very similiar to what I'm doing right now to build a 3 meal a day, and no snacking habit.
Hey...it's been 7 consecutive days of no-snacking
That's a record for me.
I look forward to the day when the behavior becomes mostly unconscious,
due to Habit
For me, the secret is to "do the next indicated thing".
(Any of you who've ever been in 12 step programs may already know what that is.)
When it's a difficult day, I try to Isolate every single task,
and just do what I have to do that minute.
For example,
let's say I'm depressed....even for some valid reason...
If I wake up in the morning and think about all the things I'm expected to do that day,
I might find myself unwilling or unable to even get up.
But if I focus on getting out of bed to go to the restroom,
then from the restroom, focus on getting dressed,
and then after getting dressed walking into the kitchen,
and in the kitchen getting my tea ready,
and then.... and then....and then....
all day ...pretty soon, I've accomplished quite a bit, and I feel much
better.
That's very similiar to what I'm doing right now to build a 3 meal a day, and no snacking habit.
Hey...it's been 7 consecutive days of no-snacking
That's a record for me.
I look forward to the day when the behavior becomes mostly unconscious,
due to Habit
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com
See: DietHobby. com
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CrazyCatLady
- Posts: 301
- Joined: Sat Apr 12, 2008 6:58 pm
- Location: Illinois
I belong to a site about dealing with squalor. In the past few years, I have taken my home from "a hot mess" to being able to have visitors without feeling ashamed. One of the main things that helped me to declutter and clean up was the quote....
Motivation follows action.
I'm not sure why this worked for me, when "Just do it" never helped. I suppose it was partly because it acknowledges that starting is hard for lots of people, not just me.
I could not picture myself cleaning my whole messy house. But by doing a little bit each day, after about 9 months, I was out of the worst of the mess. And now, I cannot picture myself losing 100 pounds. One member is named SwimFit. I have not worn a swimsuit in over a decade...I cannot imagine ever being "fit" enough to wear a swimsuit again! But I can imagine No S-ing for another day. Then another day, and another day.
Lets just do the actions, and trust that the motivation will come. Lets just build the habits, and trust that the ability to keep doing this will come. And lets promise to post if we start to fall into a dark hole, so one of our No S buddies can offer a hand to help us back on the path to healthy eating!
And SwimFit....thanks for such an encouraging name. Maybe, just maybe, someday I can picture myself in a swimsuit again?!?
Motivation follows action.
I'm not sure why this worked for me, when "Just do it" never helped. I suppose it was partly because it acknowledges that starting is hard for lots of people, not just me.
I could not picture myself cleaning my whole messy house. But by doing a little bit each day, after about 9 months, I was out of the worst of the mess. And now, I cannot picture myself losing 100 pounds. One member is named SwimFit. I have not worn a swimsuit in over a decade...I cannot imagine ever being "fit" enough to wear a swimsuit again! But I can imagine No S-ing for another day. Then another day, and another day.
Lets just do the actions, and trust that the motivation will come. Lets just build the habits, and trust that the ability to keep doing this will come. And lets promise to post if we start to fall into a dark hole, so one of our No S buddies can offer a hand to help us back on the path to healthy eating!
And SwimFit....thanks for such an encouraging name. Maybe, just maybe, someday I can picture myself in a swimsuit again?!?
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BrightAngel
- Posts: 2093
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:22 pm
- Location: Central California
- Contact:
Betty,
You sound as if you've had a lot going on. Start by acknowledging that. Everyone who writes about changing habits stresses the importance of "one thing at a time." (Something I myself often struggle with - I try to take on 27 things at once!) You've had other priorities for a while. That's okay. That's human. That's normal.
So if you're ready to focus on No-S, don't take on other "big life changes" right now. You've got a limited amount of willpower - channel it to one thing, until you start to see results. And EXPECT that there will be a 2-steps forward, one step back pattern at times. Normal. Just keep taking those steps forward.
Willpower is a LOT like muscle. If you haven't been using it, it's weak. You can overtax it easily. But just like muscle, it can be developed. You set your expectations/workout at just enough to "push" your limits, and gradually, your limits grow.
(And I am very touched that you think I have helped in any way. There are so many wise and thoughtful people on this board that constantly inspire me - wosnes and Noel come to mind first, but there are MANY - and I am grateful to be able to "pass it on.")
Don't be hesitant to ask for help. No one can do this for you, but you can sure get a lot of encouragement.
You sound as if you've had a lot going on. Start by acknowledging that. Everyone who writes about changing habits stresses the importance of "one thing at a time." (Something I myself often struggle with - I try to take on 27 things at once!) You've had other priorities for a while. That's okay. That's human. That's normal.
So if you're ready to focus on No-S, don't take on other "big life changes" right now. You've got a limited amount of willpower - channel it to one thing, until you start to see results. And EXPECT that there will be a 2-steps forward, one step back pattern at times. Normal. Just keep taking those steps forward.
Willpower is a LOT like muscle. If you haven't been using it, it's weak. You can overtax it easily. But just like muscle, it can be developed. You set your expectations/workout at just enough to "push" your limits, and gradually, your limits grow.
(And I am very touched that you think I have helped in any way. There are so many wise and thoughtful people on this board that constantly inspire me - wosnes and Noel come to mind first, but there are MANY - and I am grateful to be able to "pass it on.")
Don't be hesitant to ask for help. No one can do this for you, but you can sure get a lot of encouragement.
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blueskighs
- Posts: 1787
- Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:11 am
- Location: California
Lots of great tips here!
Jaymiz cool website ... I love to read weight loss success stories on occasion.
love that!
Blueskighs
Jaymiz cool website ... I love to read weight loss success stories on occasion.
KCCC,Willpower is a LOT like muscle. If you haven't been using it, it's weak. You can overtax it easily. But just like muscle, it can be developed. You set your expectations/workout at just enough to "push" your limits, and gradually, your limits grow.
love that!
Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey
Boy, you've really distilled all the advice into something you can remember and do!
One more thing I wanted to add... I've struggled with perfectionism/procrastination in other areas, and the best advice I've found is that if you're constantly struggling to meet your goals, you are setting the bar too high - which is a sure recipe for failure.
The article I remember best used a weight-lifting metaphor. If you planned to lift 100 lbs (I'm pulling fake numbers out of air, obviously) and only lifted 50, you wouldn't say "I'll lift 150 tomorrow to make it up." That's silly. Yet, we all do that with other goals. I certainly do. If I only read 4 articles, and I meant to read 8, I'll tell myself I'll read 12 tomorrow. That's not going to happen, and thinking it will is just setting myself up for failure... once it's impossible to "catch up," I give up.
The right strategy is to see that this is what I can do right now, and adjust my timeline or expectations. And maybe as I become more familiar with the topic, I can manage more in a day. Maybe not. But 4 in a day beats zero, and feeling a sense of accomplishment beats feeling a sense of failure.
The moral of this - which seems counter-intuitive - is "set your goals at a level you can achieve." Start where you are, and make a promise to yourself you can keep. So, if you have to, edge into full No-S. Pick one habit, and practice it until it sticks. Then another...
Slow and steady wins the race.
One more thing I wanted to add... I've struggled with perfectionism/procrastination in other areas, and the best advice I've found is that if you're constantly struggling to meet your goals, you are setting the bar too high - which is a sure recipe for failure.
The article I remember best used a weight-lifting metaphor. If you planned to lift 100 lbs (I'm pulling fake numbers out of air, obviously) and only lifted 50, you wouldn't say "I'll lift 150 tomorrow to make it up." That's silly. Yet, we all do that with other goals. I certainly do. If I only read 4 articles, and I meant to read 8, I'll tell myself I'll read 12 tomorrow. That's not going to happen, and thinking it will is just setting myself up for failure... once it's impossible to "catch up," I give up.
The right strategy is to see that this is what I can do right now, and adjust my timeline or expectations. And maybe as I become more familiar with the topic, I can manage more in a day. Maybe not. But 4 in a day beats zero, and feeling a sense of accomplishment beats feeling a sense of failure.
The moral of this - which seems counter-intuitive - is "set your goals at a level you can achieve." Start where you are, and make a promise to yourself you can keep. So, if you have to, edge into full No-S. Pick one habit, and practice it until it sticks. Then another...
Slow and steady wins the race.
This is a great thread. I think I'll bookmark it for any day I'm feeling low. My advice is similar. I use to have a love affair with food. I woke up in the morning, jumped in the shower and the first thing I'd think about is what I was going to be eating all day and when I could run out to the grocery for snacks. I've now learned to look at food in a different light. It's not a primary interest any more and it's not a REWARD for a hard day's work. I now consider it fuel for my body and I know my choices will affect how I feel physically and even my mood. Eating is something I need to do well, just like my work, if I'm going to profit from it.
Just Annie
You Can't Fail Until You Quit Trying
You Can't Fail Until You Quit Trying
I've been thinking about all of this, and have decided to slow waaaaay down. After all, if the goal is to adopt habits and not just get to a certain weight, and if this really is a marathon and not a sprint, then Im going to focus on building habit and willpower BEFORE I get to no-s.
What I did this morning is to break up No-s into a lot of little bits. There are things that I eat/drink that make my bloodsugar whacky and which make me feel like eating when I shouldn't be hungry. So instead of starting full blown no-S I'm going to give up coffee. Then I'm going to give up sugar and alcohol, each for 3 weeks. I can manage that.
Then, when my body is clean and ready for action, Im going to give up eating after dinner. Then between breakfast and lunch. Then between lunch and dinner.
It will probably take me about 4 months before Im doing vanilla No S, but it seems so much more do-able this way.
I sit before you with a cup of herbal tea. cheers!
Betty
What I did this morning is to break up No-s into a lot of little bits. There are things that I eat/drink that make my bloodsugar whacky and which make me feel like eating when I shouldn't be hungry. So instead of starting full blown no-S I'm going to give up coffee. Then I'm going to give up sugar and alcohol, each for 3 weeks. I can manage that.
Then, when my body is clean and ready for action, Im going to give up eating after dinner. Then between breakfast and lunch. Then between lunch and dinner.
It will probably take me about 4 months before Im doing vanilla No S, but it seems so much more do-able this way.
I sit before you with a cup of herbal tea. cheers!
Betty