Not eating...can't eat.

angelka71 · Post by **angelka71** » Mon May 19, 2008 5:15 am

I was going along just great No S-ing when an unexpected tragedy occured. I lost a very close family member rather suddenly.

I can't eat...my nerves are shot. Why is it so hard to eat now?

Sheiler · Post by **Sheiler** » Mon May 19, 2008 6:16 am

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. When emotion is so strong, food is the last thing on your mind. Treat yourself kindly, get support from family and friends.

Mavilu · Post by **Mavilu** » Mon May 19, 2008 7:38 am

Oh, I'm so sorry...
Why can't you eat?, well because you are much too distraught, honey.
Don't worry about it, just concentrate on your more immediate needs right now.
I send you a big big hug.

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Mon May 19, 2008 11:05 am

I'm very sorry for your loss.

If your appetite has left you, just try to eat a bite or two at mealtimes.

I have a friend who lost her partner of 20 years recently. The first few days, she'd make herself a yogurt smoothie because it'd be easier to eat.

bonnieUK · Post by **bonnieUK** » Mon May 19, 2008 11:28 am

Angelika - very sorry to hear about your loss.

I experienced something similar when I was 18 - I got by on small servings of soups, soft cooked veg, oatmeal, the occasional piece of warm bread with lots of margarine with honey or jam - basically anything that doesn't feel too dry or too bulky (I imagine yoghurt and milk would be good too).

I'd say just eat a bit of what you can manage at meal times and just put a little on your plate so you don't feel overwhelmed.

Best wishes to you, your appetite will return, even if it seems hard to imagine now.

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Mon May 19, 2008 1:24 pm

I'm sorry for your loss.

Re: food. To stay on Habit:
If you have previously established any: "Intelligent Default" meals
within your 3-meal-a-day-plan.
I'd say, now is the time to use them.
Just fix those simple "default" meals and eat what you can of them.

CatholicCajun · Post by **CatholicCajun** » Mon May 19, 2008 1:28 pm

Sending sympathy and prayers your way. Go easy, if you have no appetite, try eating light things such as yogurt or soups. When my father passed away a few years ago, I had no appetite either, on the day of the funeral my husband made me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast, I forced myself to eat half of it and I was glad I did because the burial was not over until after 1:00 pm, don't know if I would have made it on an empty stomach. Again hugs and prayers. God Bless.

JillyBean · Post by **JillyBean** » Mon May 19, 2008 2:49 pm

I am very sorry for your loss.

I always used to be so surprised that I wouldn't want to eat when I was really upset. I mean, I used food for comfort, didn't I? And now is when I need comfort the most! Why don't I want to eat? What I tried to do was what has been suggested here - small, easily digested meals.

I'd like to address the "other side" of this phenomenon. Once I got more adjusted to the situation and started to feel just the teeniest bit better, my appetite would come back with a vengeance. That's the time to really apply what you've learned here. Stick to the plan, no matter how tough it is for those first few days. Take care of yourself.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Mon May 19, 2008 3:20 pm

I am so sorry for your loss.

Follow the advice of others - eat small, easily-digested food.

And just try to take care of yourself as best you can..

blueskighs · Post by **blueskighs** » Mon May 19, 2008 3:28 pm

That is REALLY rough!
So sorry to hear for your loss.

Since this is unexpected you are likely still in shock.

I would take at least a few bites of food three times a day to stay on habit. You will probably have a lot of emotions emerge over the NEXT FEW WEEKS AND MONTHS about this.

Your habit will be the biggest aid in giving you the freedom from food in allowing you to deal with this loss honestly, graciously and with dignity. There is not a lot of public support for the greiving process in our culture, but is a very healthy process to honor the loss of those we care dearly for.

Eating at least a little bit three times a day, will keep habit so that when the other emotions of loss, sadness and anger surface you will be more likely to be able to experience them and not turn to food.

I have had a lot of loss in my life and one unexpected that was pretty horrific and took about five years to fully recover from. I wish I had had No S then. I think it would have made the whole process "cleaner and clearer" emotionally and perhaps would not have taken so long to get through. Of course, these things change us forever. It is part of the mystery of life.

Blueskighs

cornelia · Post by **cornelia** » Mon May 19, 2008 9:44 pm

I recently had some emotional distress and didn't want to eat. I found that I was more inclined to eat something I didn't have to prepare. I ate better at home than away from home and also could eat more if I got my mind on something else even sort of. Look at the pictures in a catalog or something like that. Not deep, just no-brainer pictures. They say don't read or watch TV when you eat, but at a time like this you may have to try it. TV probably won't interest you because it will seem too frivilous compared to your life right now. You won't be able to sit still to watch it. Also remember, you won't die if you don't eat for a couple of days. You will get hungry again, believe me. For now take one hour at a time.........you will be okay.

Tink · Post by **Tink** » Mon May 19, 2008 10:27 pm

So very sorry for your loss

just do what gives you comfort *hugs*

angelka71 · Post by **angelka71** » Tue May 20, 2008 3:31 am

You guys are so amazing. Thank you so much for your kind support and advise. It is so much appreciated.

CrazyCatLady · Post by **CrazyCatLady** » Wed May 21, 2008 12:14 am

Deepest condolences on your loss!

I think that sometimes our hunger is triggered by a drop in blood sugar, so if you skip a few meals (or skip regular eating for a few days) its almost like your body forgot to feel hunger. Hopefully as you get past the initial hours and days of your loss, you will be able to eat a little bit, and that may make it easier to eat the next meal.

I read a book once called "Tear Soup", about a woman who was grieving a loss, and she just put all her happy memories, and sad memories, into this big pot of tear soup. It talked about how some people just make a quick pot of tear soup, and then move on. Others need to keep stirring that pot of tear soup for a longer time. Do be gentle with yourself and allow yourself plenty of time to begin to heal. (((hugs)))

FarmerHal · Post by **FarmerHal** » Wed May 21, 2008 12:48 pm

angel, I am so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself ((((hugs))))