What does binge mean to you?

[Dawn]

I wouldn't call myself a binger, but I have gone over board (in the past), but I was wondering what some of you mean when you use the word binge in regards to your (past!!!) behavior.

Just currious I guess!

Dawn

[BrightAngel]

My current binges are far, far less than what I had in the past
due to the surgery I had 15 years ago.
Prior to that, I could eat a 10,000 calories or more in a day.

Here's a sample of recent behavior that I would call a binge..
A couple of weeks in addition to 3 meals, I ate an Extra 1602 calories:
This was:
1 chocolate Ghiradelli square
1 Belgin chocolate wafer cookie
2 Toffee Almond Biscotti
1 slice chocolate orange
¼ cup mixed salted nuts
2 pecan crunch granola bar (1 pkg) (Nature Valley)
4 Breton Crackers with 1 ½ tbsp peanut butter
8 pieces of PlumSweets
1 slice of toasted 3 seeds bread w/ 1 tsp butter
1 serving hashbrowns with 1 ½ oz melted shredded cheese.
. . . . . Total calories : 1602
I want to add that this food was all eaten one right after the other in the order given,
within about a 2 hr time period.

Also, although binging makes me feel physically a bit sick,
Mentally, I am unhappy with myself about the behavior,
but I do not feel disgusted or full of self-hatred.
I Accept that overeating-binging this way is one of my character defects.
It's been around a long time, probably will never leave completely,
and I praise myself that this behavior now rarely surfaces.

[gingercake]

To me, binge means I have the conscious (or semi conscious) intention to eat until I physically can't eat any more. To me a binge is only done in private. Usually there is some sort of planning to make sure I have the foods I want to binge on. I close the blinds. It's a very shameful, secretive thing. It's not overeating. Overeating is different...it's just eating too much, more than I'm physically comfortable with. There might be some shame and guilt, but not like what comes before/during/after a binge. A binge is something that, for me, is super self destructive even when it feels like it's just what I want. Overeating is not a good idea, but binge is like self-hatred.

[blueskighs]

Binging is largely unconscious I don't care eating. It is unconcscious because I rarely tell me myself I am going to binge, usually I am going to relax, have something I deserve, whatever inane, justifiable, rational excuses I can come up with.

For me binging is not about using food to connect it is about using food to disconnect.

Binging is eating large volumes of food ... although I no longer count calories for me a binge is usually over 2500 calories in a three or four hour period ...sometimes it is quite a bit more...

IN other words, for me it is fairly discrete, identifiable behavior as opposed to just eating too much.

and since I am not bulimic, i.e. don't throw up keeping my weight stable while doing this once or twice a week is pretty difficult.

I have not had to do this since starting NO S and I am so glad!!

oh it is also EXPENSIVE!!!!!!!!

Blueskighs

[JillyBean]

First, I want to say that since starting No-S I have not binged once, though a couple times early on I thought I was headed in that direction and I was able to stop because, well, it just isn't necessary now.

To me a binge happens when I start craving something sweet. Sometimes this is stress-induced or out of boredom or has/had to do with the fact that I would be "going on a diet on _____." It is emotional eating. I browse the cupboards, fridge, and freezer looking for what it is that I want and I never seem to be able to find what it is. I will eat what's there hoping it will suffice, but when it doesn't "scratch the itch" I keep looking for something else that might do it. I don't seem to be able to stop myself until I am stuffed to the gills and hating myself. I am not able to purge (believe me, I've tried), so now I need to add desperation to the awful way I was feeling before the binge began. It is horrible. I am grateful that I seem to have finally found a way out of that miserable mode of behavior.

[fkwan]

All of the above, pretty much, although for me the "binge" is just an add-on after I've eaten too many calories at meals. For example, I shouldn't have eaten 1/3 of a roll of marzipan for dessert at lunch, which threw off the calories allowed for the rest of the day. Therefore, dinner was already a "binge", and the two cups of ice cream were just the icing on the cake, as it were.

The icing part of the binge is always done alone late at night.

Of course it's emotional. It's anger and hatred and loathing, of myself, of my life, of the things that are spiralling out of control around me, and of late, a reaction to the isolation and loneliness and frustration that are threatening to break me down, and the struggle of my will to fight against this.

The binge starts when something equals about 500 calories an item.

f

[Shirls]

Of course it's emotional. It's anger and hatred and loathing, of myself, of my life, of the things that are spiralling out of control around me, and of late, a reaction to the isolation and loneliness and frustration that are threatening to break me down, and the struggle of my will to fight against this.

The binge starts when something equals about 500 calories an item.

f

f, you have just described exactly what happened to me the whole of last week. I know what began it - an order from the boss at work to all his senior managers to log everything we did at six minute intervals and submit the logs to him every week so that "he would be aware of what we were doing". He retracted the order the next day when he saw our reaction (most of us have been with the company over twenty years) but it triggered a reaction in me that led to binging and self loathing.

It was like saying to myself "I will not be pushed around" and I somehow saw the No S not as my own free choice, but as being coerced. Most irrational I know, but this is the only place I felt I could share this.
Although today is an S day I feel better and less rebellious.

[angelka71]

For me a binge starts out with something sweet...I can't seem to stop myself (correction...I DON"T stop myself."

It can come from being bored, depressed or tired but mostly angry. It seems like some form of rebellion and I'll think things like, "Yeah...look at me, I'll eat the whole thing if I want to and no one can stop me." And when I say "eat the whole thing" I am SOOOO not kidding. It's been VERY common for me to eat an entire cake, pie, box of cookies...whatever.

It nearly ALWAYS happens either in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning. For a while on No S I didn't binge at all, but after being off the wagon for a while, and now trying to come back...I'm finding that my morning cereal is starting to replace my morning binges as I've been pouring myself third and fourth bowls of it.

[Mavilu]

So... the difference between over-eating and binging is a psychological component and/or shame of it after an episode?.

[Shirls]

I think so, yes. Overeating can be habit or thoughtlessness whereas binging is caused by anger or depression or anxiety. When I binge I know perfectly well what I am doing but just don't care because at that time only a pound of chocolate or a litre of cecream will fill the gaping hole in my psyche. And afterwards I hate myself so much that another hole starts forming...it's a vicious cycle and used togo on for weeks before NoS and all you supportive people gently reminded me that Monday was and will be the fresh start on N habit.

[blueskighs]

an order from the boss at work to all his senior managers to log everything we did at six minute intervals and submit the logs to him every week so that "he would be aware of what we were doing".

oh my gosh Shirl, how absolutely HORRID!!!!!!!!! glad your boss pulled the plug on that one quick!

So... the difference between over-eating and binging is a psychological component and/or shame of it after an episode?.

Mavilu,
I would say YES, and because of the psychological component, at least for me the VOLUME of FOOD I consume while binging is significantly greater than I would overeating ... if I am just overeating it is kind of like a lapse, like something tasted really good and I just wanted a few more bites, or I started out really physically hungry and over shot the mark,

but a binge has NOTHING to do to satisfy physical hunger THUS physical limits/ satiation/physical tolerance etc.. are completely bypassed - so for me it is just a totally different experience than normal eating and normal overeating.

MOST OF THE TIMES WHEN I AM BINGING I AM REALLY EATING SO QUICKLY I AM NOT ENJOYING TASTING THE FOOD AT ALL ... now that I do NO S I realize how really weird that is and it's kind of embarassing but that is how it WAS for me, thank goodness!

Blueskighs

[CrazyCatLady]

I am learning a lot from this thread. What I would call a binge for me is when I have something (often a sweet), and it is as if there is no stop sign or signal of fullness....I simply keep eating until it is gone. Even if a part of me WANTS to stop.

I have bought bags of candy (often on sale....oh why is it that the combination of sugar and a low price is so attractive to me?!?) I tell myself that I will save them, so "the kids" will have something sweet when they want it. Then within a few days, I have finished it all off!

I cannot reason with myself. Sometimes I say that I will just have one or two pieces...and I remind myself that it will be lovely to have that waiting in the cupboard in case I want one more the next day or the next week. But I just keep coming back until I eat it all!

I don't think my binges are out of anger or depression. Maybe they aren't so much binges as gluttony and lack of self control. Whatever they are, No S has helped a lot. For one thing, now I can have certain sweets and indulgences around and I will not overeat them. In addition, I have learned (through overeating since starting No S) that I should just not have other foods around, or that I should purchase them in small quantities!

For me a binge starts out with something sweet...I can't seem to stop myself (correction...I DON"T stop myself."

It can come from being bored, depressed or tired but mostly angry. It seems like some form of rebellion and I'll think things like, "Yeah...look at me, I'll eat the whole thing if I want to and no one can stop me." And when I say "eat the whole thing" I am SOOOO not kidding. It's been VERY common for me to eat an entire cake, pie, box of cookies...whatever.

It nearly ALWAYS happens either in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning. For a while on No S I didn't binge at all, but after being off the wagon for a while, and now trying to come back...I'm finding that my morning cereal is starting to replace my morning binges as I've been pouring myself third and fourth bowls of it.

Angelka, I think that you are making progress. Going from a morning binge to eating extra of your cereal seems to me to be progress! One "thought" that has helped me when I feel like overdoing it is to remind myself that with No S I can have whatever I want. If I "want" to eat 10 pounds of chocolate, I can. It is ok. I can eat anything and everything, from buttered toast to fresh strawberries to chocolate. There are a few simple rules, so things like chocolate have to wait until S days, and things like buttered toast and strawberries have to wait until meal times. But all is permitted. Of course, by No S rules, it may take several years to eat 10 pounds of chocolate, but somehow knowing that I can helps. Nothing is forbidden, so go ahead and enjoy that cereal! Maybe even pour a larger bowl for your next serving, in a really pretty dish. And put some lovely sliced fruit on top. Have a glass of milk with a dash of vanilla, or some fresh squeezed orange juice in a fancy glass. Or maybe something else sounds really yummy and satisfying for breakfast....a quickly prepared egg dish, with a slice of bacon on the side?

Don't punish yourself by overly restricting the cereal. Indulge yourself with kindness as you heal from your recent loss. Make each meal delicious and special. Enjoy the flavor of the food in your mouth. It will be easier to stick to one serving if you have a really special meal.

[anovelgirl]

Oh, this is a toughie.

I stopped "binging" in the classical sense some years ago. I had a horrible, awful, ugly experience on day in my car, in a parking lot, that to this day, I can't adequately explain. When I think upon that day in my past, I'm just...no words. It was that horrible.

Binging was a totally panicked, anxiety-ridden mode. It was shoving as much crap as would fit, into my mouth while my heart beat out of my chest like it would blow up any second. Swallowing, hurting my throat, crying sometimes - there was nothing sneaky, quiet or calm about it. It was sheer panic....and thinking, stupidly, that Little Debbies could fix it. I was just totally out of control, upset, tired - no, exhausted, unhappy, but totally unwilling to *do* anything about it. I gained an incredible amount of weight, just from binging. I wasn't willing to throw it up, so I absorbed all those calories and fat.

Then something happened in my life, and I was forced to face my unhappiness. When it happened, I was freed. Amazingly - thank God - I was freed. I haven't binged since, don't even think about it. I look back on that person, and just shake my head. I learned a valuable lesson: facing your unhappiness hurts a fraction compared to punishing yourself with stupid behaviors. A fraction.

I would, occassionally, before No S, get up in the middle of the night, craving something sweet and sample a few bites in the kitchen. I would also have something sweet if I were staying up late, watching a movie, lonely while my spouse and kiddos slept soundly. But I don't consider that binging - just eating out of loneliness or boredom, or giving into a craving. Still bad, but nothing like my binging days.

To me, there's a huge difference between binge and overeating: it's the speed of the act. My binge was fast, hurried, frantic. Overeating for me was slow, sensual, relaxed. Not really happy, but enjoyable. Binging was anti-enjoyable. It was punishment, pure and simple.

How dumb is that?

[Gail]

Binging to me means going to the grocery store and intentionally buying something you know you shouldnt have. Like my 2nd weekend on NO S I bought a package of Oreo cookies. They are my all time favorite. Well they were gone by the end of the weekend. Made me feel really guitly, but it was kind of like, well you got THAT out of your system. I am not craving them as much lately. This weekend my Treats were Dove Bars. I think I had 3 or 4 on the 2 days. I really didnt think that was too bad. You have to enjoy on those free days.

[flipturn]

As a project in my college statistics class, I tried to find if there was a correlation between binge eating and amount of exercise (there wasn't, but this was for a master's degree in 1982, and things might have changed since then). First, I had my study subjects define what a binge was, and this was a real eye-opener for me. Some people said that it was eating one chocolate bar in between meals; others admitted to consuming a pint of ice cream or a small bag of cookies . . . once or twice a week. Since I had been expecting answers more like my own (bulimia/a lot of exercise/a lot of bingeing), I was extremely disappointed.

[Mavilu]

I used to buy women's fitness magazines, Shape, Self and Fitness and I still have a pile of them sitting in our bedroom, recently I have been re-reading them and I'm surprised to see how liberally they use the word "binge", since I was still learning my basic english at the time I bought the bulk of them, I figured "binge" meant "indulge" or "over-eat", but then, I learned in class that that's not all all what "binge" means, and you gals had confirmed that fact in this thread.
I wonder, why everyone uses a disorder symptom just like nothing, are big business trying to convince us that we are all hopeless when it comes to food so go ahead and have another of (our brand) of cookie, ice-cream, what have you?.

[JillyBean]

but this was for a master's degree in 1982, and things might have changed since then). First, I had my study subjects define what a binge was... Some people said that it was eating one chocolate bar in between meals; others admitted to consuming a pint of ice cream or a small bag of cookies . . . once or twice a week. Since I had been expecting answers more like my own (bulimia/a lot of exercise/a lot of bingeing), I was extremely disappointed.

My feeling on this is that bingeing has "come out of the closet" much more than it was in 1982. Plus, with all the dieting that is promoted, bingeing is much more prevalent now. If bingeing is caused by a reaction to deprivation (which I think probably applies in most cases) and dieting is more the norm now than "normal" eating, that would account for the change in bingeing statistics, too.

[Mary KD]

The question is: Can you overcome this habit of bingeing and/or emotional eating without help? Especially if you have been doing it most of your life?

[BrightAngel]

The question is: Can you overcome this habit of bingeing and/or emotional eating without help? Especially if you have been doing it most of your life?

My answer to your question is:
That even after 20 years of professional therapy,
treatment in an outpatient eating disorders unit,
5 years of 3-times-a-week-plus, involvement in Overeater's Annoymous,
and AFTER all that, 15 years ago a Gastric Bypass.
I, personally, still have NOT overcome the habit of bingeing and/or emotional eating.
However, all of these experiences did greatly improve my behavior, and the issue.

This is an extremely difficult issue,
and for some people, almost impossible to overcome,
however...improvement is possible.

[cvmom]

Bright - I agree with you that for some people this is a lifelong struggle.

Food addiction is so much harder then things like Drugs and Alcohol. Those, you never have to touch again, but we all need to eat to stay alive.

This WOE has helped me with my binging behavior, but I don't forsee that tendency ever going away.

Keep up the Good Work, Bright Angel. You have done really well! I have enjoyed reading your posts.

Dru

[gingercake]

The question is: Can you overcome this habit of bingeing and/or emotional eating without help? Especially if you have been doing it most of your life?

I don't know about overcome, but I think you can get very close, depending. For me, learning about nutrition and whole foods and habits like the ones promoted by No S have done more for managing my binge eating than any amount of therapy. I think learning about nutrition and about how GOOD I can feel when I make better choices helped me befriend food and see it as a potential ally rather than an enemy. And also, my binges now consist of so much less food than they used to, just because my normal eating is less, too.

[blueskighs]

The question is: Can you overcome this habit of bingeing and/or emotional eating without help? Especially if you have been doing it most of your life?

Mary KD,

without help? maybe not, but anything is possible.

FOr me I did an online program Shrink Yourself at www.ShrinkYourself.com Nov 2007 to Feb 2008, it seems that that combined with NO S has stopped me from binging. The longest I have gone without binging has been 6 months, I just passed three months with NO S I am interested to see if I can go longer than 6 months this time.

I have been binging since I was 4 1/2 and was taken from my mother, for me that is 40 years ... therapy, OA did not stop the binging, I have been dealing with this issue directly for over 20 years,

I am crossing my fingers that this is really it! I no longer see myself as addicted to food or sugar,

Blueskighs

[CrazyCatLady]

Amazing and wonderful, BlueSkighs! I hope that you can keep adding 21 days of healthy eating, and just keep going!

[kccc]

Blueskighs, your story is truly inspirational.

I am crossing my fingers that this plan is IT for you.

[blueskighs]

CrazyCatLady and KCCC,

THANK YOU!!!

I find you two ladies very inspiring and supportive as well!

SO GLAD You both are here,

Blueskighs