Each of us manages well using our own approach. However, sometimes our attempts to help newer people leads to a bit of tension, because we tend to have such different perspectives and approaches. Exploring these different perspectives in our off-board conversation has been very productive. I don’t think either of us has changed our own position, but I believe both of us have changed our understandings of the other’s position.
The conversation has also forced me to really think about why I am so averse to calorie-counting with No-S, and I thought it might be useful to share some of my reflections with the larger group. BrightAngel will of course chime in with her views, and I invite others to join us (asking only that we keep the positive, respectful tone that this board is noted for).
(Warning: Mangled metaphors ahead, some of which are strained and may break under pressure.)
First, some background. I’ve done calorie-counting diets, and I’ve done them successfully. When I was in my late teens and early 20’s, and heading toward the same levels of obesity prevalent in my family, I lost weight – and gained it back, alas – several times on calorie-restricting diets. I can still reel off calorie counts for an amazing variety of foods. I did eventually lose and keep off the excess weight when I began a regime that combined calorie-counting with exercise. At some point, I realized that I liked the way I felt when I exercised regularly, and I even learned to enjoy the exercise I did. (That’s not to say I’m naturally active – I’m not. I take exercise classes because left to myself, I get lazy.)
At any rate, I kept off the weight for decades, but I now describe how I did it as “an armed truce with food.†I exercised regularly, watched what I ate, and monitored the scale closely. Whenever my weight was “out of bounds,†I immediately went on a restriction diet until it was back where I could live with it. During all that time, I doubt anyone looking at me (5’7â€, size 10 max) would have thought “wow, she really has a weight problem†– but in some respects, I did.
Yet that all worked until I hit mid-life, had a baby, and lost exercise time... all at once. At that point, I began to struggle. Several rounds of Weight-Watchers convinced me that I could LOSE through diets that demanded total attention, but I couldn’t maintain that way anymore. No-S has been an incredible relief.
In addition to being able to maintain with relative ease on No-S, I deeply appreciate the difference in mindset, which seems HUGE to me. In my calorie-counting days, I rarely enjoyed food. Food was “good†or “bad.†Treats were always consumed with a side order of guilt. I ate a lot of “fake food,†because it was lower in calories. I was always bargaining with myself over food (“if I have this now, I won’t have that later… if I don’t have this now, I can have that later.â€) Food never just WAS. With No-S, I don’t count calories, I just eat one plate when it’s mealtime. I do eat mostly healthy stuff – I like it – but I no longer categorize foods as “bad†just because they are high in calories. And I eat "real food" most of the time.
So, I see calorie-counting as regressive, as a return to a way of thinking that was painful and limiting. I understand that not everyone has that view (hey, BA!
) but that’s how it feels to me. I feel as if, after years of being on a rocky, difficult path, I’ve found a broad, easy way that is pleasant and enjoyable. It did take a leap over a chasm to get here – a leap of faith that I could trust habit over time – but it’s SO worth it to me. I now think that, within these guidelines that sort of replicate “how we were designed to eat,†my body is wiser than my mind in determining what it needs. And of course, I want to share this nice new path! So, I encourage others to jump over here. I remember my own transition involved some floundering (metaphor-switch alert!), like learning to swim once I’d cast off the “life preserver†of calorie-counting. It took me a while, especially with regard to S-days. After watching people on the board a while, I see that kind of floundering as normal. Perhaps it's even a necessary learning stage. So my strategy for offering encouragement tends to be along the line of “It’s okay. You can do it. Don’t be so focused on calories. Learn to trust habit. Trust that your body will figure it out over time if you let it. Use the force, Luke.†Which is where BA and I came into opposition, because she has a very different view (that’s another cue for you, BA).
One of the arguments for calorie counting is that “calories exist, and you do have to lower them to lose weight.†Okay, they do. But the act of measurement has effects. I am completely convinced that a FOCUS on calories distorts behavior in ways that undermine chances of success. I feel very strongly about this, both from my own experience and from “hearing†people on this board. Example – everyone advises sufficient protein to make it from one meal to another. Yet, I know I used to “short†myself on protein because it was so high in calories. (Someone else said the exact same thing.) Other people have mentioned that they never used to drink milk or eat fruit or the like because they didn’t want to “waste†calories/points on those foods. In addition to distorting intake, calorie-counting affects emotions: it frequently leads to the kind of “feeling restricted†that results in out-of-control rebound-eating. So I wince at calorie-counting advice, because I really do see it as a strategy that almost guarantees failure.
Now, I will admit my perspective is very much colored by my own experience, but it's reinforced by observation. I’ve seen a lot of people come here saying they were still going to count calories, become increasingly frustrated, and then disappear. And I don’t know of counter-examples – people who’ve successfully combined calorie-counting and No-S and been successful at both. (If you ARE a counter-example… say, you’ve been reasonably successful on No-S for about six months or so, and you do count calories, would you raise your hand to help me form a more comprehensive perspective?)
As I indicated at the beginning, Bright Angel and I have been exploring our divergent views. She is planning to post on this thread as well. I would love to see other comments as well, as long as we can keep “exploratory†tone and not slide into attempts at “conversion to the true path.â€
I'm hoping that this thread will become a useful resource for those who are trying to figure out how to approach No-S.BrightAngel, you're up!
Cheers,
KCCC
