I'd love feedback on my theory about why S Days go wild.

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Kathleen
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I'd love feedback on my theory about why S Days go wild.

Post by Kathleen » Wed Dec 10, 2008 12:39 pm

Yesterday, I was reading in a book ("The Instinct to Heal") by the author of the "Anitcancer: A New Way of Life" how there are two brains: the cognitive and the emotional brain. The emotional brain will hijack behavior, more or less shutting out input from the cognitive brain, when there is a sense that survival is at stake. That sounds like what happened when my brother held me under water when I was 10 years old. I didn't think about pushing myself to the surface of the water with great force. I just did it. That also sounds like a great description of my body reacting to food at the point that a diet fails. It also sounds like what happens on S Days. I just have to wait this out -- wait out "S Days Gone Wild". Eventually, and it may be months, my body will calm down. Since I've been starving it for years, this obese body is ever on the alert for restrictive eating. I seem to be fine on N Days, but S Days are now the problem. I am betting that this behavior will change over time and eventually I'll just take my time on S Days and enjoy a few treats instead of eating just a huge amount of food on those days. I'm not doing anything more on S Days than try to have three meals in addition to everything else I eat.

Blueskighs convinced me fairly quickly that one S Day on the weekend would backfire, and so I went back to two S Days. I'm open to changing my approach to S Days and would appreciate any feedback people might have. N Days have become really easy, but I really overeat on S Days. This is shown on my very accurate scale. I weighed 205 on Saturday, had S Days on Saturday and Sunday, had N Days on Monday and Tuesday, and this morning weigh 206.2. My N Days are mostly about losing the weight gain from Saturdays. It would be great if I could somehow minimize weight gain on S Days, but I don't know how to do that without jeopardizing the whole No S Diet approach and triggering the emotional brain to overeat even on N Days.

Kathleen

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Post by resting52 » Wed Dec 10, 2008 1:45 pm

Morning Kathleen,

I joined back in April. I could have written your post. But here I am, 8 months in, having had multiple S days gone wild. But recently something has changed. I'm thinking it is that my body knows, on a deeply emotional level-maybe like in the book you quoted, that I WILL NOT STARVE! Every diet I've ever been on has been about limiting foods and how much I can't eat. Diets have been punishment for obesity and boy, do they make you pay. This seems to have always led to my "emotional brain" feeling scared for lack of a better term.

Then I find NoS. I'm free to pig out totally for 2 days a week. I guess it has just taken my brain this long to realize that I won't starve it, I will satisfy it, and that I can live and live joyfully, happily like this for life-unlike an evil diet that hurts you until you give up.

This is huge for me. The last 3 weekends have been a joy! I've mindfully, peacefully chosen my treats instead of my "emotional brain" wreaking havoc.

Seems like this is just the next step in my healing from a lifetime of diets.

Glad I'm here. Glad you are here, too.

Resting

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Post by gratefuldeb67 » Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:01 pm

Hi Kathleen!
It does take time to get to a point where you don't really want to overdo it on S days.. but even years into it, once in a while, we have some pretty big blowouts.. I'd say the best way to deal with this is to give yourself a *loose* structure of allowing yourself a few S's per day..
I definitely wouldn't take away one of the days.. That isn't livable in the long run. Also, believe me, I'm sorry you gained a pound and a half and I know how hard it is to lose it back, but that pound and a half compared to what you would gain if you were just binging all the time on some weird diet, is not too bad.. Yeah, maybe it will be one step forward, two steps back for a little while, but little by little you will inch your way down as long as you are good during the week, which you are.
Try deciding on a general S day structure.. Not making it one where if you go over your limit you "fail" in your mind, but one which will allow you to enjoy a couple of treats and not get out of hand..
The emotional brain you mentioned is "The amygdala" (spelling??) and it's all our basic fight or flight instincts and primal urges.
If you approach this diet in terms of Habit alone, I think you will find that very empowering! Trying to figure out all our emotional triggers takes a lot of energy.. I like the habit model of diet much more, because it really is more empowering. I do think the cognitive brain and our willpower need to be well practiced in these little things we do to over ride the emotional brain.. Try that saying I had used the other day which I stole from the poster here Danger Will Robinson..

"That was good, but I've had enough"...

You know you feel better when you don't over do it. It's not just about losing weight. It's about enjoying these treats. So ask yourself, will you really enjoy it when you, for example, have four haagen daaz bars in one day?
I promise you, over time you will become satisfied with less.
Love
8) Debs
ps. sorry this was so long! LOL
There is no Wisdom greater than Kindness

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Post by reinhard » Wed Dec 10, 2008 3:16 pm

Kathleen,

I think the best way to address S-day panic is to reassure it: with even better rewards. Above all, refrain from punishing yourself (appetite will hit back much harder than you can). If you have a bad S-day, think the opposite, that your reward must have been insufficient and treat yourself even better the next time ("Appetite, if you don't calm down I'm going to take you to Le Bernardin!"). This may seem paradoxial (and expensive) but in the long run it will calm your appetite down and save you money. And you will eat very, very well. :-)

Reinhard

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S Days-sometimes is key!

Post by la_loser » Wed Dec 10, 2008 3:47 pm

I just posted on an old thread some thoughts about SOMETIMES. . .
Regarding the recent threads about S Days gone wild, I'm always reminded of something that has stuck with me since I began No S. I realize that there has been a lot of discussion about whether we should try to make any rules for S days. . . but I keep remembering that word that is in the original "14 word No S Diet" . . . SOMETIMES.

So I'm bringing this old thread back to the top regarding this. . . it certainly gives a little more perspective to S days. In the end, we all have to figure it out for ourselves, I guess.
This thread is actually linked from the No S main page as an explanation of the word SOMETIMES:

http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic ... sc&start=0
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Post by blueskighs » Wed Dec 10, 2008 3:54 pm

Kathleen,

I'd just like to add that some weeks it took until Thursday or Fridays for my weight to come back down, maybe depending on salt intake too I don't know, but then my weight would be lower on Friday and/or Saturday which would indicate I was still "losing".

My weight loss has not been linear at all on No S but it has been steadily and consistently downward overall.

I think there is probably more than one issue at work in why S days go wild which is perhaps why it takes many of us some good amount of time to work through them.

1. Trust - many of us know that we aren't truly trustworthy in our commitment to S Days, i.e. many of us know if "this doesn't work" we are going to "put ourselves on another diet" or "limit our S Days", I beleive this causes a lack of trust within us and the panic of "last suppers"
2. The issue you raised of "emotional brain" eating triggered by constant deprivation and punishment through the years, our emotional brain is the seat of desire and I suspect years of dieting only makes it rage
3. The physiological issue you raised that our bodies are not physiologically adjusted to the fact that we will not be starving in the foreseeable future, this is the point that I beleive Dr. Schwarzbein addresses in that it can take one or two years for our bodies to become healthy enough to lose weight
4.Being driven by other people's desires. I don't have to say "yes" to anything on S days. If other people want to snarf junky gross crappy food around me I dont' have to participate even on S days. The "No Thank You" muscle that I develop on N days is just as imperative to use on S days. IT is really important that on S days that I eat ONLY what I want to eat (i.e. if I choose the junky gross crappy food fine) but I don't eat to please other people on S days, not aunt martha, not my friends, not even my dear husband ... which is the trickiest ....
5. ENJOY ... this is a funny thing but I really do find when I wake up on a Saturday morning and think HMMMMMMMM how will I eat today, I am clear that eating a whole bag of Hoohahs or bucket of whatevers is going to leave me ill and feeling out of control and will not in the total be ENJOYABLE ... so I take a little time to figure out how to pace things, how much is the right amount, and have strategies around that... this works well except when ...
6. the good old FOOD TRANCE takes over, this is a concept from Shrink YOurself and a very valid one IMHO, when I have eaten to the point that the FOOD TRANCE has kicked in, i.e. last Sunday, lets face it I might not stop until I go to bed Sunday evening with a tummy ache, the FOOD TRANCE is very powerful, it is rooted in emotional eating ...

ALl that being said, I have learned that it takes more than 2 S days gone wild a week for me to gain weight and it takes a relatively consistent string of "not an idiot" S days to lose weight.

Eating Disorders, binging disorders, lifetime patterens of overeating are pernicious behaviors. I have found that the healthy structure of No S combined with the work I did with Shrink Yourself were both critical and have been responsible for my success to date on the NO S diet. However, because eating disorders are SO pernicious, I will not consider myself even remotely "healed" until I have two years of No S and a stable weight. That will tell me that, indeed, my grosser habits of emotional eating are no longer operating in my life, although I suspect I will ALWAYS have a few "S Days gone wild" each year for the rest of my life,

I really believe that the NO S Diet is the best solution for the heartbreaking problems caused by "Traditional diets" combined with the ridiculous and ubiquitous amounts of food that are available and accessible to us on a daily basis,

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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Post by gratefuldeb67 » Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:23 pm

reinhard wrote:("Appetite, if you don't calm down I'm going to take you to Le Bernardin!"). This may seem paradoxial (and expensive)

Reinhard
Hahahaha!!! How funny!!! I was thinking about Lutece and how sad it is that it has closed, and thinking of what the next best thing would be if I ever wanted to treat someone out to a great meal in NYC..
Le Bernardin was next choice.
You have good taste Reinhard! :wink:
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Post by Kathleen » Wed Dec 10, 2008 9:39 pm

Lots of good advice. I'm at the point where I dread S Days because I eat until I feel not too great and sometimes so stuffed that I have to lie down. I'm not going back to dieting. Period. What I'd like to do is get smart about letting my emotional brain calm down. I'm just trying to figure out how to do it. The key does seem to be to enjoy what you eat, but my emotional brain seems to hijack my cognitive brain and I engage in what my husband (quite sensitively!) has called a "feeding frenzy." Having a three meal structure has at least meant I ate something other than sweets all day. I'm already getting exceptionally yummy treats, since Haagen Dazs bars seem to be at the top of my list of favorite foods after I ate so many peanut clusters on the peanut cluster diet that I'm sick of them. Maybe I can try experimenting with eating other foods that I think I'll really like. I want to prepare for S Days, observe what happens on them, and then adjust what I'm doing so that I can get through this emotional brain hijacking process as quickly as possible. I'm not overly concerned about slow weight loss. This is the first year in six that I weigh less at the end of the year than at the beginning of the year. I may weigh over 200 pounds today, but I was on the path to weigh over 300 pounds in another decade.
Kathleen

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Post by kccc » Wed Dec 10, 2008 10:35 pm

Kathleen, I thought I had posted on this - I wrote something that didn't show up. (Sigh.)

I totally agree about the emotional self needing to understand that you WILL take care of it. It takes a long time for that reassurance to sink in, especially if you've (I've) been in diet-restriction mode for years.

That's why I think S-days are ESSENTIAL. They are part of retraining that part of your brain.

My S-days are better than they used to be, but there are still flare-ups. However, at this point they usually are warning signs that there's something going on in my life that I need to attend to. My emotional brain is just sending up a flare.

One thing that I have found is that as I lessen my dependence on food as self-comfort, my repertoire of TRULY comforting things increases. So, that's another way to work on your emotional self - learn to listen to your heart more deeply, and figure out "what do I really want here?" Enlarge the range of "things that make me feel taken care of" beyond food.

And for now, live with those S-days. Accept that this is part of the process FOR NOW. If you want to take action to improve them, the best strategies I've found are to add the 3-meal structure and a proactive wonderful treat, and to busy myself with something I enjoy.

Best wishes. You have turned in the direction you want to go. Now all you have to do is keep moving.

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Post by Kathleen » Wed Dec 10, 2008 11:36 pm

KCCC,
As I was running down to pick up my son from swim team, it occurred to me that I really, really like just relaxing. This Saturday, I'm picking him up from a lock in at 5:30 AM and then there isn't anything else planned until dinner. I think I'm going to propose to my husband that we go out for breakfast. To my surprise, I have found that I tend to relish food more in the morning. Maybe one of the those nice restaurant breakfasts will help with S Days. I'll keep thinking about expanding beyond enjoyment of food on S Days. I'm pretty happy with the way my life is going. I really enjoy my new job, and the manager is accomodating my desire to be available to my children. I don't have to work when they are on school vacations, and I can leave to pick them up from school. What I need to do is learn how to get at least some housework done on the weekdays so I'm not facing several hours of cleaning on Saturday. The kids are old enough, too, to help. I think I'll look at how to make the weekend more enjoyable.
Kathleen

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Patience, my dear

Post by la_loser » Thu Dec 11, 2008 3:05 am

Good for you Kathleen. These ideas sound really promising. You are so sincere in your determination to take charge of your life. I remember that so many years ago my sixth grade teacher used to always say (I know it's someone else's quote--but Mrs. Wiley's voice is what I still hear!) "Patience is a virtue." But oh, it is tough to manage!

Hang in there and keep making the progress you're making.
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Post by blueskighs » Thu Dec 11, 2008 4:24 am

I'm just trying to figure out how to do it.
Kathleen, I am not sure there is any real substitute for that, as on individual basis we will each have different needs, etc to be addressed.
after I ate so many peanut clusters on the peanut cluster diet that I'm sick of them.
then you have already expereinced part of the process with peanut clusters, hopefully as you repeat it it will not take as long nor as much volume as you give yourself permission to ENJOY
Maybe I can try experimenting with eating other foods that I think I'll really like.
I did this a lot my first few months and it really helped me discover what is a treat for me and what is not.
I want to prepare for S Days, observe what happens on them, and then adjust what I'm doing so that I can get through this emotional brain hijacking process as quickly as possible.
Preparing for your S days, observing what happens and adjusting will be incredibly constructive ... as far as getting through this as quickly as possible, I really beleive keeping N days green is greatest key to that. It is the N days that actually change your relationship with food in the long run, it is your S days that will put that "to the test" so to speak.

Your insight into creating relaxing time on the weekends is GREAT! THESE are precisely the kinds of changes that will make huge differences in your relationship with food in the long run, also the idea to go out for breakfast is wonderful,

you are definitely on the right path!

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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Post by Kathleen » Sat Dec 13, 2008 3:50 pm

It's Saturday. I was up at 5 this morning to pick up my son from an overnight event for teens, and I threw up in the car on the way to pick him up. I told him that when I picked him up, and he made some comment about my body not wanting another S Day! I went back to bed and got back up at 10 AM My husband and I will go out for coffee this morning, and I already had two biscotti. What I crave is citrus fruit. How strange! I think the S Days of all peanut clusters and Haagen Dazs bars are over!

I'm beginning to think that thinking about S Days could be a waste of time. I just need to do what I want, and what I want will change.

Blueskighs,
As you pointed out, I went through the peanut cluster infatuation. I may already be through the Haagen Dazs infatuation. If I keep the N Days green -- and I am -- sooner or later, I'm going to want to eat so that I feel good and not so that I maximize the amount of food I eat in a short period of time.

Kathleenn

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Post by blueskighs » Sat Dec 13, 2008 8:15 pm

If I keep the N Days green -- and I am -- sooner or later, I'm going to want to eat so that I feel good and not so that I maximize the amount of food I eat in a short period of time.
Kathleen, I beleive that because that is what has happened to me over time. I am much more concerned with maintaining that "humming along" feeling good than overindulging in some sweetness to the point of feeling somewhat ill ... although of course I occasionally still do, that being said, my overindulgences being relative to what they used to be, become increasingly smaller in volume and duration.

Also, I began to "cycle" through my cravings much more quickly, only two passes at the popcorn and junior mints, only one pass at the Halloween candy Butterfingers ...

I really beleive THAT is the "payback" for keeping the N days green, sorry to hear about your getting sick in the car, but sounds like you are really getting along well,

Blueskighs
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Post by Kathleen » Sat Dec 13, 2008 10:14 pm

Blueskighs,

What's odd is that I was sick this morning and feel fine now. It may be that my body really was reacting to the idea of yet another day of totally stuffing myself.

I just made my two younger children hot chocolate with whipped cream, and they are enjoying their S Days. My middle daughter calls it "The S Day Diet." She's not so keen on No S restrictions on N Days, but she likes that she can get special treats on the weekend.

Kathleen

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Post by gratefuldeb67 » Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:11 am

Kathleen wrote: sooner or later, I'm going to want to eat so that I feel good and not so that I maximize the amount of food I eat in a short period of time.
I hope you are feeling better today Kathleen.
This sounds like a very good goal to me.
Love,
8) Debs
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Post by kccc » Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:29 am

Glad to hear the illness didn't last long.

You sound as if you're really on the right track, and moving along at a good pace. Give yourself time, and accept that there will be bumps along the way... but I bet in a year, when you look back, you'll be amazed at the changes you've made. (Even when I have "wild" S-days now, they don't hold a candle to my former eating patterns.)

Hope you had a good day.

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Post by Kathleen » Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:06 pm

Thanks for the feedback. I decided to put this diet on autopilot until June when the kids are out of school and I'm not working. My way to motivate myself to be patient is to tell myself, at the end of each month, what weight I will never, ever, ever see again! It will be two pounds lower each month.
Kathleen

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Post by wosnes » Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:12 pm

My two cents worth on why S days go wild: we've forgotten about moderation. We know two extremes -- restriction and gluttony.

If we've restricted intake of certain things (oh, say, snacks, sweets and seconds) during the week, then the weekend with fewer restrictions must be license to run wild with it. It's not. It's permission to be a little less restrictive. I think there are 2-3 days a year when restrictions should be forgotten about: Thanksgiving, Christmas and maybe your birthday or other very special occasion. The rest of the time, moderation rules.

I am, or I used to be, the Queen of Overthinking. One of my favorite things to do used to be trying to figure out why this, that or the next thing happened -- and what to do about it. One day I was talking to a friend who was trying to figure out why he did something and planned to quit after he figured it out. I said -- and there was a flash of light when I said this! -- "Why don't you just stop doing it -- and figure it out later? If you don't, you still be trying to figure it out but still doing it 5 years from now."

And that's my advice here: forget trying to figure out why S days go wild. If they go wild and you fall off the wagon, just get back on the wagon. Why isn't really that important. What's important is that you get back on the wagon when you fall off.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Post by swimfit » Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:51 pm

well said wosness1

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Post by howfunisthat » Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:12 pm

Wosnes....I agree....very well sad....words I need to hear, perhaps on a daily basis!

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Post by blueskighs » Sun Dec 14, 2008 5:35 pm

... then the weekend with fewer restrictions must be license to run wild with it. It's not. It's permission to be a little less restrictive.
Wosnes,

Very well said, this is " the common sense it" key :D

Blueskighs
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Post by Kathleen » Sun Dec 14, 2008 6:19 pm

Wosnes,
Thanks. I am overthinking, and I'm just swamped right now with my son now is swim team. I need to set this thinking about the diet aside, keep the N Days green, and put the diet on autopilot. You're right about lack of moderation. I've had two "settings" for eating for years and years and years -- "pig out" or "starve". This diet is different. It will take time for me to adjust. The N Days are moderate, but the S Days are reminiscent of "pig out". I believe that ending starvation will eventually end "pig out". It didn't with the Intuitive Eating approach to "give yourself unconditional permission to eat" but I believe that the imposition of moderation on N Days brings down your ability to overeat on S Days. We'll see... I'm giving this theory until June when I'll have more time to think things through.
Kathleen

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Post by wosnes » Mon Dec 15, 2008 2:11 pm

Kathleen wrote:Wosnes,
Thanks. I am overthinking, and I'm just swamped right now with my son now is swim team. I need to set this thinking about the diet aside, keep the N Days green, and put the diet on autopilot. You're right about lack of moderation. I've had two "settings" for eating for years and years and years -- "pig out" or "starve". This diet is different. It will take time for me to adjust. The N Days are moderate, but the S Days are reminiscent of "pig out". I believe that ending starvation will eventually end "pig out". It didn't with the Intuitive Eating approach to "give yourself unconditional permission to eat" but I believe that the imposition of moderation on N Days brings down your ability to overeat on S Days. We'll see... I'm giving this theory until June when I'll have more time to think things through.
Kathleen
Why think it through at all? Why not just do it and not worry about the why's? Here's the deal -- if you were in an accident or diagnosed with some disease, you wouldn't worry about the "why", you'd just do what it takes to fix the situation and get better. Why not do the same here? Just put it on autopilot and forget about it.

The why's and how's of an issue aren't important. What's important is how we handle it. If you fall off the wagon, get back on.

And you have to remember that with N days and S days, you're going to have good days and you're going to have bad days; you're going to have great days and you're going to have absolutely awful days. That's life. We shouldn't expect anything different. We shouldn't expect or seek perfection.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Post by BrightAngel » Mon Dec 15, 2008 2:33 pm

wosnes,
Great Advice.
:!:
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Post by Kathleen » Tue Dec 16, 2008 2:02 am

Tomorrow is Day 100. My goal for the first 100 days was to keep the N Days green. I think my goal for the second 100 days is to not worry about S Days. I'm reading a book on a study of starvation which was conducted by Ancel Keys on conscientious objectors during WW II. The effect of starvation is very similar to the effect of dieting. I just need to allow my body time to calm down after 35 years of dieting.
Kathleen

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Post by blueskighs » Tue Dec 16, 2008 5:46 am

KATHLEEN,

WOOHOO TO YOU!
for your 100 days with green N days!
I am so happy for you!

Blueskighs
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Post by Kathleen » Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:19 pm

Yes, it is a milestone for me. I have been tempted to reign in the S Day overeating, but I've decided just to let it fall off on its own, which I think it will do. Last weekend, I had no Haagen Dazs bars. I've been overthinking this whole approach as a way to speed up weight loss. I decided instead to put a line at the top of my monthly tracking about how I will never ever be at a certain weight again.

In September, I reached my all time high of 216.
My never again weight for the beginning of October was 216.
For November, it is 214.
For December, it is 212.
For January, it is 210.

Today is a Tuesday, and I weigh 206.8. I need to focus on other things in my life and allow my body time to adjust to an environment in which there aren't periods of starvation (aka diets). I think my S Day behavior is a reaction to those diets, and the S Day wild behavior will fade away if my body is no longer subjected to starvation diets.

I'll give it until June -- or at least 100 days, to Day 200.

Kathleen

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Post by howfunisthat » Tue Dec 16, 2008 1:07 pm

Kathleen...Wow! Your post was full of so many changes...100 days of green success....weight loss...and in control of what you want to accomplish. If you re-read your first week of posts, you've done so much in the days you've worked on this. It's wonderful! I can't wait to keep reading your posts & hear about the rest of the adventure. 2009 is going to be a wonderful year!

Congrats...janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

Kathleen
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Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:46 pm
Location: Minnesota

Post by Kathleen » Tue Dec 16, 2008 11:00 pm

Blueskighs and janie,

96 days successes or special days! The first four days were failures! Now I have 5 days in reserve for I-just-feel-like-it Special Days.

Thanks for the support,

Kathleen

jessdr
Posts: 46
Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2008 9:27 pm
Location: Somerville, MA

Post by jessdr » Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:32 pm

blueskighs wrote:Kathleen,

I'd just like to add that some weeks it took until Thursday or Fridays for my weight to come back down, maybe depending on salt intake too I don't know, but then my weight would be lower on Friday and/or Saturday which would indicate I was still "losing".

My weight loss has not been linear at all on No S but it has been steadily and consistently downward overall.

I think there is probably more than one issue at work in why S days go wild which is perhaps why it takes many of us some good amount of time to work through them.

1. Trust - many of us know that we aren't truly trustworthy in our commitment to S Days, i.e. many of us know if "this doesn't work" we are going to "put ourselves on another diet" or "limit our S Days", I beleive this causes a lack of trust within us and the panic of "last suppers"
2. The issue you raised of "emotional brain" eating triggered by constant deprivation and punishment through the years, our emotional brain is the seat of desire and I suspect years of dieting only makes it rage
3. The physiological issue you raised that our bodies are not physiologically adjusted to the fact that we will not be starving in the foreseeable future, this is the point that I beleive Dr. Schwarzbein addresses in that it can take one or two years for our bodies to become healthy enough to lose weight
4.Being driven by other people's desires. I don't have to say "yes" to anything on S days. If other people want to snarf junky gross crappy food around me I dont' have to participate even on S days. The "No Thank You" muscle that I develop on N days is just as imperative to use on S days. IT is really important that on S days that I eat ONLY what I want to eat (i.e. if I choose the junky gross crappy food fine) but I don't eat to please other people on S days, not aunt martha, not my friends, not even my dear husband ... which is the trickiest ....
5. ENJOY ... this is a funny thing but I really do find when I wake up on a Saturday morning and think HMMMMMMMM how will I eat today, I am clear that eating a whole bag of Hoohahs or bucket of whatevers is going to leave me ill and feeling out of control and will not in the total be ENJOYABLE ... so I take a little time to figure out how to pace things, how much is the right amount, and have strategies around that... this works well except when ...
6. the good old FOOD TRANCE takes over, this is a concept from Shrink YOurself and a very valid one IMHO, when I have eaten to the point that the FOOD TRANCE has kicked in, i.e. last Sunday, lets face it I might not stop until I go to bed Sunday evening with a tummy ache, the FOOD TRANCE is very powerful, it is rooted in emotional eating ...

ALl that being said, I have learned that it takes more than 2 S days gone wild a week for me to gain weight and it takes a relatively consistent string of "not an idiot" S days to lose weight.

Eating Disorders, binging disorders, lifetime patterens of overeating are pernicious behaviors. I have found that the healthy structure of No S combined with the work I did with Shrink Yourself were both critical and have been responsible for my success to date on the NO S diet. However, because eating disorders are SO pernicious, I will not consider myself even remotely "healed" until I have two years of No S and a stable weight. That will tell me that, indeed, my grosser habits of emotional eating are no longer operating in my life, although I suspect I will ALWAYS have a few "S Days gone wild" each year for the rest of my life,

I really believe that the NO S Diet is the best solution for the heartbreaking problems caused by "Traditional diets" combined with the ridiculous and ubiquitous amounts of food that are available and accessible to us on a daily basis,

Blueskighs

(Wild applause)


I haven't really had to deal with truly wild S-days since starting NO-S, but I did have some crazy binges while on The (obscenely restrictive) Diet That Shall Not Be Named, and I think trust is the crux of the issue, at least for me.

I think that one of the most damaging things that traditional dieting does is break the trust between you and your body. You stop trusting your body to tell you what it needs, and your body stops trusting you to give it what it needs. And the more you fight each other, the more damage you do to the relationship.

Your goal is to make your body believe it can trust you again, which takes time and nurturing: feed your body the healthy food it needs, and make sure that it gets wonderful treats at regular intervals. Over time, it will come to accept that you really will provide for it. And when it no longer thinks it has to throw a tantrum to get those things, it will start asking nicely.
Diet refugee, trying to get my head back on straight.

Kathleen
Posts: 1685
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:46 pm
Location: Minnesota

Post by Kathleen » Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:17 pm

I think trust is the key problem, and having parameters around when and how much to eat on N Days helps to build trust. Last night I was really hungry. I kept within the parameters of one plateful but ate enough for my son's eyes to widen. I am trusting that keeping my N Days green will result in weight loss. My weight has been fairly stable the last month. Where I can celebrate is that I haven't gained weight. I haven't gained back the weight I lost, and I don't expect an end of diet binge. After all, I have each weekend to recover from restrictions!
Kathleen

blueskighs
Posts: 1787
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:11 am
Location: California

Post by blueskighs » Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:40 am

Kathleen,

was wondering ... did you get your relaxing day Saturday? I am getting mine this weekend and I am SOOOOOOOOOO looking forward to it :D
I think that one of the most damaging things that traditional dieting does is break the trust between you and your body. You stop trusting your body to tell you what it needs, and your body stops trusting you to give it what it needs. And the more you fight each other, the more damage you do to the relationship.
Jess, Very well said!

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

Kathleen
Posts: 1685
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:46 pm
Location: Minnesota

Post by Kathleen » Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:52 am

Blueskighs,

Saturday was something of a rush, starting with picking my son up from an overnight "winter blast" at a local community center at 5:30 AM. We had a child to get to a birthday party and had my brother in law's family over for dinner and a sleepover, but Tom and I did manage to have a pleasant half hour or so at Starbucks. I am supposed to work 80 hours per month, and school vacations plus a day with my daughter at the Mayo Clinic (possible serious problem that turned out not to be) meant fewer days for working before school break, plus the stress of dealing with my daughter was worse than the stress of going through cancer treatment for me. Things will be better after tomorrow when school vacation ends. I'll probably only go into the office two mornings next week, and then I'll be done for the month.

My son got sick and was out the last two days, my oldest daughter is in bed right now and thinks she won't go to school tomorrow, my husband got sick while on a business trip and spent the day in bed, and the house is a mess. I am wrapping presents and getting Christmas cards out in batches. I quit work to be a stay at home Mom with the objective to not be busy, so I don't like this crunch right now.

I'm not one to think in terms of emotional eating, but maybe there is some correlation between three people in the family sick and my being hungry!

Kathleen

blueskighs
Posts: 1787
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:11 am
Location: California

Post by blueskighs » Fri Dec 19, 2008 6:04 pm

Kathleen,

WOW! :shock: All I have to say is that sounds like a lot! Sick people are emotionally involving ... and some of that is like you said about your daughter, just because you are worrying about them! Glad that whatever was troubling her is not serious. Hopefully everyone can get well and things can get back to normal. But sounds like you are handling it AMAZINGLY WELL!

One of my most dangerous moments is AFTER it is all said and done then the tidal wave of food washes in, for me, I will have to be "aware" in January when holidays are past, those days can be just as tricky as these!

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

Kathleen
Posts: 1685
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:46 pm
Location: Minnesota

Post by Kathleen » Sun Dec 21, 2008 2:41 pm

Blueskighs,
I decided it's worth a few months to test if S Days just stop going wild because I don't feel well when they do.
Kathleen

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