I am a big mess and I really need help!

No Snacks, no sweets, no seconds. Except on Days that start with S. Too simple for you? Simple is why it works. Look here for questions, introductions, support, success stories.

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Hungry Girl
Posts: 69
Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2008 9:28 pm

I am a big mess and I really need help!

Post by Hungry Girl » Mon Dec 15, 2008 10:38 pm

Hi Everyone:

I have not been doing very well with my diet, in fact I haven't been dieting at all. It is very cold here in Wisconsin, and really hard to diet. I went clothes shopping today and for the first time in my life I really look fat! If I could just lose 25lbs that would be terrific. Now, with the holidays comming and all the food and drinks it seems as if I am sure to hit 190 or 200 lbs even! How did this happen to me? I used to be the skinny one in the family. Anxiously waiting your advice .....
Here we go again!

howfunisthat
Posts: 605
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:35 am
Location: New York

Post by howfunisthat » Mon Dec 15, 2008 11:41 pm

Okay...take a deep breath. In...out....in....out. Whenever I feel that "I'm not doing well and wanna panic" feeling, I go back to the basics of life. What is the bottom line? What do I know to be true? What's true is that you can beat this....what's also true is that what you're trying to accomplish is very, very difficult so try not to beat yourself up. We're so quick to try and encourage each other, but usually really bad at being kind to ourselves.

So...I'd recommend going back to the basics...read Richard's book or read it again...re-read some posts....make an effort to be here on the forum every day for a week....decide a goal of making just tomorrow a green day....try really hard to look at only today...only tomorrow....and don't get bogged down with next week or 10 pounds from now. Or maybe getting back to basics for you means trying to figure out when you feel the most temptations. I'm not sure if any of these suggestions are helpful....perhaps there will be other suggestions that will be right on target for where you are. But no matter what you do, do it. I tell myself over & over & over again, "I'm not giving up. Period." It might take me a very long time to change enough to have eating not be an issue...but I'm not giving up. The alternative is to struggle with this forever. You've already done the best thing you could do...you've asked for advice so you've already succeeded....you're going to beat this.....you are.

Hugs...janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

Hungry Girl
Posts: 69
Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2008 9:28 pm

Thank you, thank you!

Post by Hungry Girl » Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:04 am

Thanks Janie!

I just went back online to see if anyone had replied to my post and there you were! It is so good not to feel alone with this. I will print out your reply!


Christine (Satisfied Girl)
Here we go again!

wosnes
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Location: Indianapolis, IN, USA

Post by wosnes » Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:08 am

I'm in a no-nonsense mood, so:

1. Get back on board.
2. Don't make excuses.

It's cold here, too, and I'm eating heartier meals, but watching how much I eat of the heavier foods.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."

howfunisthat
Posts: 605
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:35 am
Location: New York

Post by howfunisthat » Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:52 am

Christine...you are absolutely not alone! This is really tough...it's not an easy thing to conquer...if it was, then everyone would be thin! We can do this though....we CAN be healthy....we can. Whenever you need someone cheering on your side, just give me a call...a PM...whatever....we're gone to win this Christine....we're going to be the "after" pictures...and BOTH of us can succeed.

janie
Last edited by howfunisthat on Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

KAxelrod
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Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2008 1:58 am
Location: Northampton, MA

Post by KAxelrod » Tue Dec 16, 2008 2:11 am

Just wanted to second "this is not easy." Yes - No S makes sense to me, and it's been really good for me. But it is not always easy.

For me, seeing that I really was looking FAT was the thing that motivated me to try harder. At other times, that knowledge has had the opposite effect and it has made me want to eat everything in sight and give up. All I can say is that have N days, having ONE N day at a time, begins to feel so good, because food is not in control of me. Plan good things for yourself, and really think "in the moment. " Tomorrow you can and will have a successful N day. You can do it.

blueskighs
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Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:11 am
Location: California

Post by blueskighs » Tue Dec 16, 2008 5:45 am

Christine,

just wanted to pop in and say tonight was really hard for me too. It was kind of a rotten day and when I went to make dinner there was only one egg, I was counting on two and my bread was already in the toaster ... suffice it to say when I was done with dinner I TOTALLY wanted to make more toast and felt totally justified ... I WANTED THAT TOAST ... it was not because I was hungry, I wasn't. I just wanted it. This has been one of my harder "greens" in a long time. Sometimes it is hard to JUST SAY NO, but I really believe that each time i do it is a victory and when it is REALLY HARD to just say no and I do, I beleive it is a greater victory, I don't know why it is so hard sometimes, it just is.

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

Betty
Posts: 197
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Location: London

Post by Betty » Tue Dec 16, 2008 7:56 am

Christine,

I've been having a hard time lately, too. Don't know why-- it was going well for months, then BAM! I hit a wall. Had 2 weeks of reds in a row, and some of those days, sigh, were so red that I just left my habit cal blank to show that I didn't even try.

I don't know why my mood has shifted again. Yesterday was almost green and I feel like No S is possible again.

It seems like there are two kinds of failures for me. Ones where I can just dust myself off and say things like "no means no" (se wosnes's no nonsense wisdom) and believe it, and periods where I just lose hope completely. At those points "just dusting myself off" isn't really possible. I mean, I think I need another kid of self-talk to work through those times, and I'm not sure what it should sound like. I do know that for me tough love works with the first kind of failure but doesn't with the second.

One thing that has worked in the past is to declare an S week. Dangerous for habit, I know, but this is what I mean: the only rule about eating is that it has to be healthy and I have to love it. The point is to nourish myself completely and lovingly. So breakfast is whole wheat oatmeal pankakes with blueberries and bananas (no syrup) lunch is tons of my favorite fruits and vegetables and cheesy, pastay lasagne. Etc. What I want, when I want it, but always good and good for me. After a week ( or even a couple of days) of that kind of eating I can usually come back to No S fairly easily.

Best of luck Christine. We can do this! And spring is around the corner, even in Wisconsin! Think: birds, sun, light, puffy clouds on the lake...

Best wishes for the new year,
Betty
Be your own best friend and advocate. Be gentle and kind to yourself. Your weight is not the problem.

Before: 140
During: 140 (again!)

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reinhard
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Post by reinhard » Tue Dec 16, 2008 3:17 pm

Satisfied Girl,

I was an undergrad in Madison, so I have some concept of what you're going through. I remember cluelessly thinking before I went, "Oh, I like snow." By April my fondness for snow had diminished considerably. :-)

Even in more temperate climates, December is probably THE hardest month for any diet (with November being a close second). The holidays are at least as challenging as the weather. This is as hard as it gets -- I find it's some consolation to keep that in mind.

The solution is the same as always (except more so): focus on that sustainable minimum of compliance. If you're having trouble doing this without, use the habitcal, or a paper equivalent. Make it seem especially important/relevant by thinking of it as an "advent calendar" with a little reward of the consciousness of virtue every morning instead of a chocolate. The green and (a very little, perhaps) red is actually quite Christmassy. :-)

Do NOT worry about hitting some target weight. Sustainable weight loss is always slow going and never more so than now. I know it would be nice to dissolve 25 pounds instantaneously but that's just not going to happen short of making a pact with the devil.

I was watching a show on PBS last night about soldiers with brain injuries and the astonish recoveries they could make by sheer persistence. By trying to use a paralyzed limb over and over again they physically rewired their brains and were eventually able to restore a large range of movement. What we're doing here with diet is hard, but it's not THAT hard. And habit will help us even sooner and more powerfully. Think that every time you comply with the no-s rules you're performing "physical therapy" which is physically changing your brain to make future compliance easier, almost automatic.

Reinhard

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Blithe Morning
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Post by Blithe Morning » Tue Dec 16, 2008 3:24 pm

No S is simple but it isn't always easy because it deals with behavior. Habit is powerful in managing behavior but don't forget we are hardwired to eat; it's how we stay alive. Add all the positive reinforcements both emotional and physical that come with eating and you can see why sometimes it's hard to manage eating. Our desire to eat sometimes comes from a place that isn't easily understood.

Don't worry about weight (yet). Start with the habit; the rest will follow when you are ready.

blueskighs
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Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:11 am
Location: California

Post by blueskighs » Wed Dec 17, 2008 4:31 am

One thing that has worked in the past is to declare an S week. Dangerous for habit, I know, but this is what I mean: the only rule about eating is that it has to be healthy and I have to love it. The point is to nourish myself completely and lovingly
Betty,
personally I think that is a brilliant idea, i could see how that would be a great way for getting back on track!
This is as hard as it gets --
Reinhard,
I find that thought very sustaing and hopeful :D

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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MerryKat
Posts: 786
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Location: Sunny South Africa

Post by MerryKat » Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:09 am

Betty wrote:One thing that has worked in the past is to declare an S week. Dangerous for habit, I know, but this is what I mean: the only rule about eating is that it has to be healthy and I have to love it. The point is to nourish myself completely and lovingly. So breakfast is whole wheat oatmeal pankakes with blueberries and bananas (no syrup) lunch is tons of my favorite fruits and vegetables and cheesy, pastay lasagne. Etc. What I want, when I want it, but always good and good for me. After a week ( or even a couple of days) of that kind of eating I can usually come back to No S fairly easily.
Betty this is the joy of No S and looking at what you describe here for your S week would still classify as N days in my book! You are doing no snacks, just 3 meals - avoiding sweets and seconds. Remember that No S does not dictate what your meals conssist of and if for a few days or weeks they are 'treats' that fall within the No S rules then your week is still 5 N days.

I think we all get so hung up on 'healthy' that we forget the habit and the habit is the most important issue. If we establish the habit we will slowly but surely beat the weight and most likely move towards 'healthier' options most of the time.
Hugs from Sunny South Africa
Vanilla No S with no Sugar due to Health issues - 11 yrs No S - September 2016 (some good, some bad (my own doing) but always the right thing for me!)

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