Lost after Day 21--any suggestions?

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Vigilant2010
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Lost after Day 21--any suggestions?

Post by Vigilant2010 » Fri Jul 24, 2009 4:14 am

My compliance started to break down after I made it into the 21 day club in early June. It's gotten a little worse each week, with the past few days being an absolute nightmare--I have been eating as though I have never heard of no S, much less practiced it successfully for a number of weeks.

I didn't get sloppy due to frustration from not seeing results; in fact I've lost ten pounds and am thrilled. I KNOW no S works and will help me lose the rest of my excess weight if I stick with it. (Um, for the sake of honesty, I have to say that I have eaten so much lately that I think I have regained 5 out of the 10 pounds. I will know for sure when I weigh in August 1st-3rd.)

I didn't get sloppy because I prematurely applied a mod or tweak. Oh, I thought about it, and even wrote in my personal thread about tying my weekly rewards to "not being an idiot" on the weekends. But some nice and successful no S dieters dissuaded me from doing this, so I never did it.

For several weeks, I thought I had gotten sloppy due to the stress and excitement of having lots of overnight visitors over to the new home starting in mid-June, and having lots of S events that made it hard for me to get back into a green streak. Like back-to-back birthdays and a wedding anniversary during the week, for example. In retrospect, I think I might have been lying to myself and trying to legitimize my behavior...I think part of me was feeling, after 21 days of good behavior, like "okay, I have behaved long enough, now screw this!" Because it never really felt easy to me, like it seems to be for other people. Week 3 was as difficult as week 1, and week 5 was no easier than week 3.


I know that if there's one diet out there that discourages that kind of "alright, I'm done, now I can go back to being a glutton" mentality, it's no-S. Yet 'm wondering, after making it into the 21 day club, what specifically there is to shoot for besides good compliance for the rest of one's life. I mean, the rest of one's life?! As much as I believe in no S, the idea is daunting to me.
And I think this is why things started going downhill for me after reaching Day 21. I knew I couldn't focus on my weight; it would drive me crazy and screw up my behavioral progress. But focusing on "days on habit" somehow wasn't inspiring either, perhaps because I felt I should be trying to rack up one long continuous string of perfect adherence...which meant there was no end number to shoot for.

I need some short-to-medium term objective. The idea I'm playing with now is issuing myself a series of 21 day challenges to keep me motivated. The challenges would always have the no S rules as a foundation and one extra thing on top--like 21 days of no multitasking during meals (no reading, watching TV, etc.) or 21 days of eating a whole grain at least once a day. Things that are do-able for 21 days, but that I don't expect to keep up with and track for eternity. Just habits I'd like to acquire and start to do naturally most of the time, over time.

So at the end of this too-long post, what I'm wanting to know is:

1. Did anyone else become lost after 21 days or some other pre-determined marker (days, pounds, whatever the case may be)--and if so, how did you find your way back?

2. Does anyone else issue self-challenges? Any suggestions on how to stay motivated, especially if you are doing the challenge solo? I know there are challenges issued for each month on the discussion board that help alot of people, but right now that's not lighting a fire under me. :?

3. How are other emotional eaters/binge eaters out there coping? This is part of my problem, still, although I don't know how big of a part. I can't figure out if my excessive weekend eating is just like a delayed binge, in which I'm eating to cope with everything that's happened that week, or if I'm eating so damn much because I simply love delicious desserts that much. I honestly don't know.
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Post by Vigilant2010 » Fri Jul 24, 2009 4:20 am

p.s. to clarify: the only reason I bring up excessive weekend eating/emotional eating is that it bleeds increasingly into the week. The more I eat on the weekend, the harder it is for me to be compliant come Monday. I know I have to focus on weekdays first, but the weekends really ARE hurting me--not least because they are hurting my weekdays![/i]
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Post by gratefuldeb67 » Fri Jul 24, 2009 6:05 am

I have a very similar problem Vigilant.
When I find out that I've lost weight, I lose my focus, big time.. Can turn being on a roll, into failing many days in a row afterward.
I'm really not sure why, but I think that we can only get back on and keep coming up with short term goals that motivate us somehow to stay excited.
Good luck!
8) Debs
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Post by wosnes » Fri Jul 24, 2009 11:57 am

Why not continue the 21-Day Challenges? Do one after the other. See how many you can do. After each challenge completes, reward yourself with something. It can be food-related or non-food related -- tickets for something or a book -- whatever feels like a treat to you.

I don't think habits change in 21 days; I think it takes a MUCH longer time. 21 days is kind of the get your feet wet period. I think it takes at least six months to a year for habits to really change.

I'm not in favor of modifications that further limit behavior, but I am in favor of those that relax the rules a little and keep one from being an idiot. Example: I have two cookies every evening. One of the reasons I do this, in addition to the fact that it gives me great pleasure, is that by allowing myself two cookies every evening, I eat fewer cookies than if I could eat them on the weekend only. I could easily eat 14 a day on each weekend day, but two every day keeps me from being an idiot on S days.

I also don't stick to the one-plate rule. I have one serving of whatever is being served and if it comes on a separate plate, so be it. However, I do try to avoid "extra" things -- like appetizers -- except on S days.

It's not the letter of the No-S law, but that's based on what worked for Reinhard, and it will work for a number of people. It's not what works best for me.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Post by Jammin' Jan » Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:04 pm

I made it to the 21 Club four years ago, but have been in and out, up and down many many times since. Now I am doing it again, but I decided that, after I hit the 21 days, I am going to continue it to 100 days. If I can get to 100, maybe it will stick.
"Self-denial's a great sweetener of pleasure."
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Post by Blithe Morning » Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:51 pm

With all due respect to this school of thought, I've never really bought into the idea that after 21 days a new behavior automatically becomes habit. And after hearing David Kessler author of The End of Overeating talking about brain chemistry in response to eating certain kinds of food, I am convinced that some things take a very, very long time to change.

A while back, there was a thread that talked about self sabotage. I really ruffled some feathers by saying that sometimes the reasons we trip ourselves up are not therapeutic in nature - meaning that they aren't the result of some trauma or lack of emotional resource and thereby can't be fixed with inner housekeeping.

Sometimes, we just want what we want when we want it, regardless of what we know to be good for us. It's that inner five year old that runs on the default settings, which when it comes to eating likes to snack, have sweets and eat seconds since that seems to be part of our hardwiring.

Don't despair. A life time is a very long time. Give yourself permission to say that if after 30 years you have complied with No S, you will revisit whether or not it's working for you and can ditch it if it's not. Thirty years is the amount of time that is generally used to distinguish weather from climate. That should work for this, too.

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Post by kccc » Fri Jul 24, 2009 1:46 pm

Strawberry, I like your successive 21-day habit idea. Even before I knew about N-S, I did "habits of the month" instead of New Year's Resolutions. (Even if 21 days will get you started on habit change, I figure a month gives me room if I'm a bit of a slow learner. :) )

Sometimes I revisit habits I've gone over before - sort of a "reboot." That's okay. Thinking about what needs to be addressed each month helps me stay on target overall.

Right now, I'm doing a "couch to 5K" running plan that is really a stretch for me - and I'm exercising at a level that I wouldn't without it. (My goal is to run a 5k in early September - it will be a fitness "birthday present" to myself.)

So, I do think "mini-goals" of various kinds can help you stay on the main target - that feeling of accomplishment gets addictive!

Good luck!

PS - I also (as ususal) recommend the "strictness" podcast, which I re-listen to when I falter on No-S.

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Post by reinhard » Fri Jul 24, 2009 2:31 pm

I think you need to get away from "goal-think" and replace it with "habit-think."

A goal implies something finite, that you can achieve and be done with. And that just isn't the case with diet (or most things, for that matter). You have to keep on going no matter how many goals you passed. IF you set a reasonable goal (which can be hard, most people pull goals out of the air without much basis) goals can be great until you hit them -- but then, as you've experienced, they're often counter productive.

Instead of stringing yourself along goal by goal, I'd recommend ditching goals altogether and resolving to use something like the habitcal indefinitely, or at least until the point when you have trouble even imagining failing.

I sometimes worry that the "21 day club" indulges this "goal-think" mentality... which is why I subsequently created the habitcal. Fortunately one feeds into the other. Once you've got that initial, attainable 21 day goal boost to get you started, transfer over to the habitcal asap to keep on going. Or better yet, do both in parallel right from the beginning, with the habitcal being your primary focus, and the 21 day club being a supplemental pat on the back for good habitcal compliance.

More on this in last trilogy episode which I hope to record and push out today... (sorry for the long delay in getting it out, but I'm having a hard time pruning it down -- I tried recording it a couple weeks ago and it was 20 minutes before I was halfway through).

Reinhard

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Undoing old habits is tougher than simply making new ones!

Post by la_loser » Fri Jul 24, 2009 2:53 pm

In regard to the 21 day theory. . . I think it is so important to realize that 21 days is not necessarily the end all as others have said. Certainly once you have managed to handle your first 21 days or month, you've got a great start, but the work is not over.

It makes sense that it is much more difficult if you're not only beginning new habits but more importantly trying to break old ones, especially those that have been around for years. When I was a kid and into my twenties, I could eat multiple helpings of everything and did. . . but I didn't weigh over 95 pounds until I'd been teaching and was 30 years old! So it's still hard to come to terms with the fact that I can't do that anymore!

On the other hand, creating a completely new habit that doesn't involve "undoing" another bad habit is much easier. For example, when I first got the kind of contacts you can sleep in, it didn't take very long to make it a habit to reach for the moisturizer drops when I opened my eyes every morning. Or remembering take a new medication on a regular basis-we can get into that habit pretty easily.

But the longer I'm on No S the more I tend to automatically manage my habits yet I'm still very much have to keep the rules in my mind because I'm always one slip-up away. I can say that now every evening when my skinny hubby eats his regular few handfuls of chips about thirty minutes before dinner and when he has his bowl of ice cream later at night, it doesn't even occur to me to do the same! Before No S, I would have been browsing the kitchen, looking to see what I could have that would be "ok" as in not many calories, points, carbs, or whatever then would probably have caved and had the chips or nuts or ice cream anyway. So over a year later, those habits HAVE gone away!

That's why the routines of plated meals make the N days easier to handle as time goes by. Reinhard's "default" podcast makes some points in this area. I think your comment about having lots of guests and not as much routine this summer DOES make it harder. . . but your bottom line is that you DID lose some weight already. . . which maybe you've done in the past then you would find a way to sabotage yourself. . . give yourself permission to 'win' that battle this time. You deserve it!

Remember Reinhard's challenge to get back in there and get some failures under your belt. He predicts that you may have to have a dozen false starts-hey you're only getting started!

Good luck!
LA Loser. . . well on my way to becoming an LA Winner. :lol:

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Make a quadcast!

Post by la_loser » Fri Jul 24, 2009 2:55 pm

Reinhard,

Just break the podcast into two sections and we can have a quadcast instead of a trilogy!

We love to listen to you-you make so much sense and it's very calming and reassuring to hear you break it all down!

Thanks for all you do.
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Post by vmelo » Fri Jul 24, 2009 3:12 pm

Blithe Morning wrote:With all due respect to this school of thought, I've never really bought into the idea that after 21 days a new behavior automatically becomes habit.
I agree completely. Years ago (in my 20's) when I was officially "on a diet," that's the only time I ate fruits and veggies regularly. When I was "off a diet," I would eat whatever I pleased and that didn't include fruits and veggies (except in the form of fruit pies and veggies on pizza!). Ditto with exercise. It took me at least ten years to make eating good stuff so much of a habit that I actually love it now and eat it even when I'm in "gaining mode."

I think Reinhard is right about making this a habit rather than a goal. All the diets I've previously been on and have failed at were at one time a "goal."

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Post by Thalia » Fri Jul 24, 2009 4:03 pm

after making it into the 21 day club, what specifically there is to shoot for besides good compliance for the rest of one's life. I mean, the rest of one's life?!
Well, I think it helps to enjoy and appreciate the benefits of the process -- have really nice S Days, and really tasty N Day meals. Enjoy the relationship with food you get to have without eating out of control OR being on a diet -- get a new cookbook that you're excited about, or go somewhere really special for dinner on an S Day, and totally enjoy it. Not to make food a reward, but to remember that No S is a habit that lets you take a proper enjoyment in eating -- it isn't just an endless series of compliant days marching away into the future until you finally die.

If it is really, consistently hard and painful week after week, I'd really look at whether there are ways to make it easier and more satisfying, because life and food should not be a long slog. Are there things you could eat during the week that would be more satisfying to you? Or some way you can set routines that make it easy to follow the three-plate rule without having to think about it -- changing the timing of your meals or something? Eat more fruit so that you're getting something sweet?
The idea I'm playing with now is issuing myself a series of 21 day challenges to keep me motivated. The challenges would always have the no S rules as a foundation and one extra thing on top--like 21 days of no multitasking during meals (no reading, watching TV, etc.) or 21 days of eating a whole grain at least once a day. Things that are do-able for 21 days, but that I don't expect to keep up with and track for eternity. Just habits I'd like to acquire and start to do naturally most of the time, over time.

If you're thinking of setting short-term challenges for yourself, maybe you could do things that make it EASIER/more fun, not harder -- challenge yourself to think up a menu for each week that includes, say, a really special favorite meal for each Wednesday to mark the middle of another green week. Or to try a new recipe at least once a week. Or to go to the farmer's market every weekend for a month, something like that.

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Post by Marianna » Fri Jul 24, 2009 6:02 pm

just want to say that my 22nd day on NoS was my first failure day--and it became somewhat difficult after that--after much trial and error, I stopped aiming for what No S calls success (in whatever vague way it does that) and started aiming for what I call success--which in some ways is even more stringent than No S. I guess what I am saying, is that the "magic number" tripped me up--just like S days tripped me up. I need a more ongoing program with room for the occasional food reward--maybe very different from what most other people need.

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Post by Thalia » Fri Jul 24, 2009 6:54 pm

No S calls success (in whatever vague way it does that)
Huh, I don't find it vague at all. I find it extremely clear-cut, which is one of the things I like about it!

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Post by spleener » Fri Jul 24, 2009 8:40 pm

I've had a lot of success with the habit-based approach Reinhard mentioned, and that's a major theme in the book. It's hard not to be focused on some particular goal--such as 21-day compliance or a certain amount of weight lost--but that's the thinking that got us into this collective mess to begin with. I think to really give yourself over to No S, you have to do some things that seem counter-intuitive from a dieting perspective. The No S Diet isn't really diet; it's a framework for learning how to eat normally. The 21 days gave me the chance to establish the habits without putting the results under a microscope. I think that's the key to this whole thing.

I'm in my fifth week and had my first failure day yesterday; it consisted of forgetting that Root Beer is considered a sweet, and having one with my lunch. I usually have water or iced tea when I eat out, and they didn't have iced tea. Other than that, I've had something like 32 days without a slip. The failure day didn't rock me back on my heels, and when I realized what I did, I wasn't remotely tempted tempted to chuck the day because of it. I'll just remember in the future that when there's no iced tea available and I don't want water, I'll have water anyway.

That's not a testament to my willpower; I've done the typical yo-yo diet thing off and on for about 30 years. I can handle any diet for a few months if I really set my mind to it, although lately it's been hard to go a week without falling off the wagon. Noessing has meant giving up my dieting comfort zone, but those were the same things that were making it impossible for me to succeed. I feel like a normal person for the first time--well, ever--and being on vacation this past week, there was none of the awkwardness that comes with dieting and trying to eat in restaurants or at family gatherings.

I think Reinhard's advice is the best; ditch goals and do vanilla No S along with Habitcal. Seeing lots of green on your calendar is a huge positive reinforcement; if you see red days, it's an opportunity to figure out what's going wrong and coming up with a strategy to fix it.

I've lost four pounds in four weeks, including a pound lost last week while I was on vacation (with two extra S days). That's less than I've lost on other diets, but it's consistent, genuinely sustainable weight loss. I lost 70 pounds last year and gained half of it back; if I lose 35 pounds in the next year but keep it off, I'm going to be much better off in the long run.

This really, really works, but I think you have to get to a point where you can embrace the fact that dieting in general is a miserable failure. Importing those failures into No S in the form of goals or rules is only going to muck it up.

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Post by Bushranger » Sat Jul 25, 2009 2:03 am

after making it into the 21 day club, what specifically there is to shoot for besides good compliance for the rest of one's life. I mean, the rest of one's life?!
This kind of thought is exactly why most "diets" fail. People seem to need some specific goal and overlook the very fact that being lean and healthy is the only real goal to be seeking.

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Post by Jammin' Jan » Sat Jul 25, 2009 1:00 pm

It's really hard to get out of the 'diet head' mode, isn't it? Every other commercial on tv is for Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, or Nutrisystem; everybody I know is either talking about a diet, starting a diet, on a diet, or failing on their diet du jour. You go into the supermarket, and see all the diet-friendly (lol) foods staring at you...100 calorie snack packs, Progresso soups with 100 calories per serving, no fat this, and no sugar that. And if you read Michael Pollan and many others, you come to realize the extent to which we are all being manipulated by the food industry.

Who can survive intact? It's like total-immersion brainwashing!

No-S is the real miracle. Moderation...what a wonderful concept!

Thanks, Reinhard! :D
"Self-denial's a great sweetener of pleasure."
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Post by Vigilant2010 » Sat Jul 25, 2009 7:43 pm

My genuine thanks to everyone who took the time to respond. One thing is for sure--with so many helpful people on this discussion board, it is hard to stay down for long! Today and tomorrow are S days, and I'm getting right back up on the horse on Monday and going for green again.

So many good suggestions and helpful comments...
Why not continue the 21-Day Challenges? Do one after the other. See how many you can do. After each challenge completes, reward yourself with something.
This is exactly what I'm going to do. I do think I have to coax myself, a few weeks at a time, to hang in there.
I don't think habits change in 21 days; I think it takes a MUCH longer time. 21 days is kind of the get your feet wet period. I think it takes at least six months to a year for habits to really change.
I agree 100%. It makes me feel better to just be realistic and acknowledge that this will probably be hard for me for many months to come.
Sometimes, we just want what we want when we want it, regardless of what we know to be good for us. It's that inner five year old that runs on the default settings, which when it comes to eating likes to snack, have sweets and eat seconds since that seems to be part of our hardwiring.
Yep, my inner brat is a big part of the problem. I feel sulky that I have to wait 5 days to have some ice cream or whatever. Sounds ridiculous, but it's true! Then I act like an ass on the weekends. Often, I would stay up until midnight on Fridays just so I could commence with the hogging then and there, and essentially get 3 s days instead of 2. I told the brat (myself) "no" for several weeks successfully, and then just got tired of the battle and started giving in a little quicker each time I wanted something. Of course, just like with training a child to behave a certain way, I've only made future scenarios harder for myself by being inconsistent. :x
So, I do think "mini-goals" of various kinds can help you stay on the main target - that feeling of accomplishment gets addictive!
I agree! And knowing I can accomplish a specific objective in 21 days is far more motivating than telling myself I'm supposed to march a straight green line into eternity. By the way, I did couch-to-5K in 2007 and loved it! It's a great program.
Instead of stringing yourself along goal by goal, I'd recommend ditching goals altogether and resolving to use something like the habitcal indefinitely, or at least until the point when you have trouble even imagining failing.

I sometimes worry that the "21 day club" indulges this "goal-think" mentality... which is why I subsequently created the habitcal. Fortunately one feeds into the other. Once you've got that initial, attainable 21 day goal boost to get you started, transfer over to the habitcal asap to keep on going. Or better yet, do both in parallel right from the beginning, with the habitcal being your primary focus, and the 21 day club being a supplemental pat on the back for good habitcal compliance.
I've been using habitcal from the start and know it is an effective tool in some ways--I HATE marking days red! I do it on my kitchen calendar at home with bold yellow, green, and red markers so that my husband can also see it (just an extra bit of accountability). Until a couple weeks ago, I was doing it on my daily check in thread, too. I plan on doing it indefinitely.

Still, habitcal doesn't pump me up. As for habits vs. goals: I know habits are what will carry us to victory in the end, but if a series of goals are focused on acquiring specific habits, and the goals serve to motivate and keep one going, I don't see the harm in them.

I think the 21 day club is a good thing, and most people seem to get a nice initial boost from it and then carry on successfully. Seems like I need to do the 21 day club about 10 times in a row to really get on my way, though. And I'm okay with that.
Remember Reinhard's challenge to get back in there and get some failures under your belt. He predicts that you may have to have a dozen false starts-hey you're only getting started!
Thanks--that's how I'm viewing this. As one of those necessary failures that were required for learning or realizing something which will help me the next time around.
If you're thinking of setting short-term challenges for yourself, maybe you could do things that make it EASIER/more fun, not harder
What a concept! :lol: But truly I hadn't entertained the idea of fun/pleasure-based challenges. I almost think they would be harder to come up with! Thanks for giving me an entire new area to explore.

Well, this is getting way too long. But thanks to everyone again.
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Post by wosnes » Sun Jul 26, 2009 11:22 am

About new habits...

We got a dog 5/4. She's about a year old, a rescue. It's my duty to walk her every morning, because I'm the one with the least responsibilities in the morning -- and I need the walk, too. This should be habit by now. It's not -- even with the dog at my ankles! It's kind of a "Oh! Yes, we need to walk now..." every morning. Maybe by next 5/4 it will be habit!
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Post by ~reneew » Sun Jul 26, 2009 2:50 pm

I started to loose it when I finally got to 21. I got a grip quick though. I think a habit takes more like 30 or more and you have to keep in mind how you react to those S days. If you think of them as being "off" the diet, then you must be thinking that you have to go back "on" again on Monday, thus disrupting the 21 consecutive days to form a habit. I try not to think that way, but the S days are the toughest. You sound just like me. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster losing slowly all week with quick inclines every blessed weekend! Jump off the roller coaster and get on an olympic ski slope... right Marc?

I have been having a very hard time this July, and I plan on going green this week because it's a nice tidy monday through Friday to finish off the month... then I have great plans for August... and the challenge. :wink:
I guess this doesn't work unless you actually do it.
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Post by wosnes » Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:32 pm

~reneew wrote:I started to loose it when I finally got to 21. I got a grip quick though. I think a habit takes more like 30 or more and you have to keep in mind how you react to those S days. If you think of them as being "off" the diet, then you must be thinking that you have to go back "on" again on Monday, thus disrupting the 21 consecutive days to form a habit. I try not to think that way, but the S days are the toughest. You sound just like me. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster losing slowly all week with quick inclines every blessed weekend! Jump off the roller coaster and get on an olympic ski slope... right Marc?

I have been having a very hard time this July, and I plan on going green this week because it's a nice tidy monday through Friday to finish off the month... then I have great plans for August... and the challenge. :wink:
I've never considered the S days to be anything but part of the diet, er, habit. And they don't interrupt the 21 consecutive days. They are PART of the 21 days.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."

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21 days and it is a new habit?

Post by Momma B » Sun Jul 26, 2009 8:59 pm

Hi,

I am new to this so bear with me please. Short story! Had a friend who quit smoking with great difficulty. She was so pleased that she finally stopped and did not smoke for 3 years. One day is a fit of stress she grabbed her visiting mother's cigarette and took a puff. That was the end of her lovely 3 year habit of not smoking. If 21 one days really worked then alcoholics and drug addicts would have very little problem.

I am thinkin' that to change we have to change our thinkin' period. Take one day at a time. Don't beat yourself up over slips. Humans do slip up. As a friend once said to me " There are no perfect people. The only one who was got crucified for his efforts."

Yaah you for getting thru 21 days at all. Let go of perfection and strive for pretty good. In the long run you will lose weight and feel better and gradually make better choice most of the time. Great gooey desserts??? Have 1/2 cup and (gulp) toss the rest. I think less of something is better than all of it. Tossing it does NOT kill you. Honest.

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mimi
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Post by mimi » Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:04 am

" There are no perfect people. The only one who was got crucified for his efforts."
That's a nice reminder Momma B - thank you.

I've never understood why I don't demand perfection from anyone except me! Sometimes we are our own worst critics and enemies, aren't we? NoS has helped me to be gentler with myself and less critical. When I find myself having an exceptionally critical or bad day for whatever reason, I make an effort to focus on the positive things surrounding me. Each night before going to bed, I write down at least two things that were blessings to me that day. On many days NoS is number one on my list.

And welcome to you, by the way!

Mimi :D
Discovered NoS: April 16, 2007
Restarted once again: July 14, 2011
Quitting is not an option...
If you start to slip, tie a knot and hang on!
Remember that good enough is... good enough.
Strive for progress, not perfection!

Bushranger
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Re: 21 days and it is a new habit?

Post by Bushranger » Mon Jul 27, 2009 1:27 am

Momma B wrote:If 21 one days really worked then alcoholics and drug addicts would have very little problem.
Breaking an addiction is not the same as simply forming a new habit and it is important for people to make the distinction. Addictions often need to be fought for years on and off and some of them never quite go away fully. I think it's safe to assume at least some people here have food addictions and so of course it will take longer than 21 days to break that since it's not simply a matter of forming a new habit.

A new habit is something like walking for 30 minutes each day when you never walked regularly before, it's not quitting smoking or late night binging, those are both addictions.

The good news is with the help and support of all the wonderful people on this forum and with the volumes of information everyone shares most people do make excellent headway even if it does take longer than 21 days, and I for one am very impressed with their achievements and proud of them.

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wintry
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Post by wintry » Fri Sep 04, 2009 1:23 pm

Your insight and self-reflection is really wonderful to read. I realized I have an inner brat too! Lately when it acts up and wants a "treat" I try to give it one of the other things I'm forbidding it (knitting, TV, surfing internet gossip magazines) instead of actual food . . .

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NoelFigart
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Post by NoelFigart » Fri Sep 04, 2009 3:16 pm

I agree that it probably IS an inner brat.

We often don't do our chores before we play, we don't CARE if we spoil our dinners, we want results RIGHT NOW, or we pout. (Note the "we". I definitely do it).

I'm only 40, but my own grandparents' childhoods were really HARSH. I DONT want to go back to those Bad Ole Days.

But it hit me this morning that maybe my own lack of discipline and poutiness about wanting everything RIGHT NOW is a bit disrespectful of what they went through to give THEIR kids a better life (which meant a much better childhood and education for ME, lemme tellya).
------
My blog https://noelfigart.com/wordpress/ I talk about being a freelance writer, working out and cooking mostly. The language is not always drawing room fashion. Just sayin'.

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MerryKat
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Post by MerryKat » Wed Sep 30, 2009 12:12 pm

I joined No S in September 2005 and over the years I have lost very successfully but I always seem to get to a point where I start to allow the bad habits to start creeping back in.

Once I break one habit the others seem to come tumbling down and before I know it I have gained what I lost (plus a few extra).

I know this works and I know it is the only sustainable plan for me, but I still insist on mucking things up.

I do not have an answer as to why I do this, however I will continue to pick myself up and get back to good habits. I am begining to realise that these good habits take a really long time to become ingrained when most of the world is happy following what for me are bad habits.
Hugs from Sunny South Africa
Vanilla No S with no Sugar due to Health issues - 11 yrs No S - September 2016 (some good, some bad (my own doing) but always the right thing for me!)

marygrace
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Post by marygrace » Wed Sep 30, 2009 12:41 pm

Vigilant, I had a similar problem as you this summer--only it wasn't after successfully following NoS for 21 days, it was after successfully following NoS for almost a year!

I had started NoS at the beginning of my senior year in college, and the school day/weekend setup offered me plenty of routine. It was easy to stay on habit, and I lost the weight I wanted to lose and was very happy (only about a dress size, so vanity weight).

Anyways, after graduation, I was afraid that starting at a desk job was going to make me gain weight since I'd just be sitting around all day. I remedied this by bike commuting to work, about a half hour ride each day. After about a month, I lost even more weight, and was thrilled. But my fiance and I were getting married at the end of June, and I think there were a lot of events leading up to this and following it that really de-railed my habits.

First, we were giving away homemade granola as favors, so we made batches and batches of the stuff each night. I did good with not eating any for a while, but there came a point where I had to try some. So I got into this near-nightly habit of having a few bites of granola, which I convinced myself was fine because it was for the wedding and once we finished making it, the situation wouldn't occur again. After my wedding, we went on our honeymoon to London and Paris for 10 days--surrounded by all that food, I ended up with a ton of red days, and convinced myself it didn't matter because it was my honeymoon, and when I got home I'd get back into habit.

Well, when we got home, we started preparing for a move halfway across the country so my husband could attend grad school. The next few weeks were filled with a TON of socializing and meals out with family and friends, which made it extremely hard to keep on habit--I tend to eat more when at a restaurant without even realizing it (until the next morning when I feel gross and bloated). To get to our new location, we took a multiple-day road trip, which further involved a lot of eating out and snacking. Then, when we finally got to our new home, we had to wait two weeks for the moving van to arrive with our stuff. That meant we had nothing to cook with in the kitchen, so it was MORE eating out. And this time, I didn't even try to hold back, because I was so excited to try all of the new foods at new restaurants.

By this point, I'd gotten into a pretty bad habit of snacking and eating dessert during the week. For a while, I waffled about going back to NoS--I liked the "freedom" of being able to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. But with that came a ton of rationalization about food choices, overthinking, and of course--added weight. When I started to realize I was undoing all of the amazing progress I'd made over the course of an entire year, and thought back to how happy I was during that year , I knew I had to get back to NoS.

I re-committed to NoS about two weeks ago and feel great. I don't weigh myself so am not sure about pounds lost, but I definitely feel a whole lot lighter, and my jeans fit better. For anyone who has fallen off the wagon, I urge you to think about your successful journey on NoS and how great you felt while eating that way. Hopefully it serves as motivation to clean up your habits!

Kevin
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Post by Kevin » Wed Sep 30, 2009 1:32 pm

It's hard enough to think in terms of one whole day let alone the rest of your life. I tend to think about waiting for my next meal, not what this is going to be like five years from now.

Maybe the goal you should set for your self is "I'm not going to be a glutton."

Then just worry about what's for breakfast. Then lunch. Then dinner. I love those three events every day. :)
Kevin
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."

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BrightAngel
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Post by BrightAngel » Thu Oct 01, 2009 1:01 pm

Kevin wrote: breakfast. Then lunch. Then dinner. I love those three events every day. :)
Me too. :D
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com

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