Solving the REAL Problem

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 7:19 pm

I was thinking about strictness this morning as I was looking at the cinnamon buns set out for the students and I was getting my coffee before class. I realized I wasn't in the least tempted. I'd had a good breakfast and it wasn't an S-day, though it did get me wondering what would be really good for an S-day treat. Instead of triggering a desire for a cinnamon bun RIGHT THEN, it was triggering a plan to get something good this weekend.... That's a huge change in mental outlook. The habits are sticking better. I've had moments like this before, then I get cocky and I fall off the wagon.

Now, I've fallen off the wagon many time No-Sing. I always go back to it because as an INTJ "Does it work in a long-term, sustainable way?" becomes the primary question in almost any endeavor.

No-S does work by those criteria. My falling off the wagon with it is more to do with it being very slow. It has taken me a long time to accept the slow part because as an INTJ, I was also incredibly results-oriented in the short term!

I've come to the realization that I've been mis-defining the problem. You see, the problem is not me being embarrassingly overweight. That's a side effect of the real problem - bad eating habits, a lack of patience, a strong habit of being very immoderate either with virtue or with vice, combined with a tendency to give up when things are not perfect. My goal really should be to get back on the wagon immediately, THAT SECOND that I realize I've fallen off it, instead of declaring the day, week or month a wash.

Reinhard talks about this a lot in his book, so goodness knows why I didn't internalize this! "Good enough" "Sufficient granularity" "letting a sense of outraged perfection get in the way".... the whole book is loaded with these points. Boy, you can miss stuff when you WANT to delude yourself, can't you?

vmsurbat · Post by **vmsurbat** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 7:52 pm

NoelFigart wrote:
Reinhard talks about this a lot in his book, so goodness knows why I didn't internalize this! "Good enough" "Sufficient granularity" "letting a sense of outraged perfection get in the way".... the whole book is loaded with these points. Boy, you can miss stuff when you WANT to delude yourself, can't you?

Yes, Reinhard *does* talk about this quite a bit in his book. I originally bought the book ONLY as a way of saying "Thank you" as suggested on the website because I was quite successful with NoS off the bat. I was so surprised to find it an excellent read to "reprogram" the chatter that goes on in my head. I think I read a chapter a day from the book continuously for the first two-three months after I got. (This is HIGHLY unusual behaviour for me). But I really needed to get the new ideas, new mantras, new visions locked in my brain and heart, not merely in the book.

My favorites:

"Nothing is in and of itself"
"An over-the-top plate in once in a blue moon is statistically insignificant"
"Don't let perfection be the enemy of "good enough."

Of course, there are many other gems in there as well.

So, keep learning the new dogma,

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 11:14 pm

That's great that you were able to pass up the cinnamon buns, and that you weren't even tempted by them. I'd say that in itself is a big step.

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 11:53 pm

Well, I was tempted to have an extra slice of Italian Bread a friend brought over with the spaghetti tonight.

I resisted, but I think that sitting at the table chatting for a LONG time after the meal is done can induce feelings of wanting to nibble.

I ate slowly to try to offset that.

Jammin' Jan · Post by **Jammin' Jan** » Fri Sep 18, 2009 12:59 am

Even if I don't lose one single pound on No S, it will be a worthwhile effort, because I am learning moderation and patience.

Reinhard's book is pure genius, that's for sure. I saw a little of myself in what you said.

I really liked this post of yours.

Kathleen · Post by **Kathleen** » Fri Sep 18, 2009 1:44 am

NoelFigart,

Out of courtesy to a friend who brought chocolate covered almonds for us to taste at a mother's coffee, I had one even though I had no Exception Days left. Lo and behold, the sky did not fall. I went through the rest of the day without worrying about having had that one chocolate covered almond.

It's nice to settle into habits that are so automatic they are easy to follow. That's the beauty of this diet. It gets easier over time.

Kathleen

guadopt1997 · Post by **guadopt1997** » Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:27 am

NoelFigart wrote: My goal really should be to get back on the wagon immediately, THAT SECOND that I realize I've fallen off it, instead of declaring the day, week or month a wash.

Being able to do this is one of my favorite things about no-S. Yes I've had my lapses, and some of them have lasted a few days. But yay me, I've had some occasions where in the past, in anticipation, I would have already eaten unreasonably. Sometimes, the event I was planning for would get cancelled and there I'd be, off the wagon for no good reason!

But now I've been able to pull off S events occasionally, without going whole hog as a result.

Mind you, I still have to work on those weekends!

sporkfancier · Post by **sporkfancier** » Fri Sep 18, 2009 4:07 am

Kathleen wrote:Out of courtesy to a friend who brought chocolate covered almonds for us to taste at a mother's coffee, I had one even though I had no Exception Days left. Lo and behold, the sky did not fall. I went through the rest of the day without worrying about having had that one chocolate covered almond.

That's great, Kathleen! What a life-change, eh?

aoc · Post by **aoc** » Fri Sep 18, 2009 4:51 am

I liked your post, NoelFigart. I hope someday to get to that point seeing as how I am struggling just to have one successful day on No S. I have read the book a couple of times but I have not read it in a very long time. I am going to read it again to remind myself why I really want to do this. Perhaps if I read it a lot like vmsurbat, I will "get the new ideas...locked in my brain and heart." Congratulations on your new habits (although I do not know what INTJ means).

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Fri Sep 18, 2009 4:55 am

aoc, INTJ comes from the Meyers Briggs Personality Test (I believe that's the name of it). The I is introverted, the N is intuitive, the T is thinking, and the J is judging. Google personality test or Meyers Briggs, and you should be able to find out more.
The last time I took it, I belive I got INFJ. (F stands for feeling)

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Fri Sep 18, 2009 8:31 am

aoc wrote:I liked your post, NoelFigart. I hope someday to get to that point seeing as how I am struggling just to have one successful day on No S. I have read the book a couple of times but I have not read it in a very long time. I am going to read it again to remind myself why I really want to do this. Perhaps if I read it a lot like vmsurbat, I will "get the new ideas...locked in my brain and heart." Congratulations on your new habits (although I do not know what INTJ means).

I'm sorry you're struggling so. That can be frustrating. But having a single successful N day is certainly the first step!

And INTJ is a Meyers-Briggs personality typing description. If you're familiar with The Lord of the Rings, the character of Gandalf is probably the classic fictional INTJ.

Post by **reinhard** » Tue Sep 22, 2009 1:16 pm

Noel,

Thanks for this thoughtful post!

I think you're exactly right to look at the behavior itself as the problem, and a new behavior as the solution -- in itself. Yes, measurable results would be nice. And yes, behavior will usually translate into measurable results. But the behavior is the really important thing, not just as a means to an end, but as an end in itself.

Thanks all for your kind words about the book! Here's another relevant (I hope) quote:

Immoderate eating, what used to be called gluttony, is an evil even apart from its effects. Sure it makes us fat, but it also puts us out of control. It makes us slaves to our appetite. We feel degraded and unhappy, not so much because of what other people say or think, but because of our an actual lack of freedom. On the No S Diet, you get back in control. And whatever your body mass index (BMI), that's a much better way to live.

Reinhard

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:28 pm

Reinhard,
Thanks for the quote. I've been having some slip ups with my eating the past couple of days, and I'm still managing to maintain a good weight for me (129), but I really do need to work on making my eating more moderate. Thanks to No S, I've been doing much better with eating moderately, but sometimes I still like to push it and see how far I can go and still maintain a healthy weight. I know that's not healthy for me, so I'll continue to work on moderation.

Everyday Systems

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