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valerie_19s · Post by **valerie_19s** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 6:27 pm

Hello Friends,

I'm registered to this board a year ago but never made a post until now. I'm hoping this can end my uncontrollable cravings & binges at night. I want to regain control over my eating habits as this has been going on for a couple of months now.

I'm 22 years old, currently at 115 lbs, at just over 5'1''. I was at my lowest weight of 98 lbs just three years ago. Back then, I used to be afraid of food & now all I can ever think about is my next meal. It's really really frustrating. I want to lose weight, but more than that, I don't want to see food as my enemy.

Any ideas on how to start? Tomorrow is my first day.

Joy

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 6:40 pm

valerie_19s wrote:I'm 22 years old, currently at 115 lbs, at just over 5'1''.

Well, what do you want to weigh? It might be your body doesn't LIKE 98. Does your doctor have an opinion about your weight?

valerie_19s · Post by **valerie_19s** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 7:04 pm

NoelFigart wrote:
valerie_19s wrote:I'm 22 years old, currently at 115 lbs, at just over 5'1''.

Well, what do you want to weigh? It might be your body doesn't LIKE 98. Does your doctor have an opinion about your weight?

Hi Noel,

Maybe to lose just a few, maximum of 10 lbs. Yes, I think so too and I'm happy to get past that stage. As for consulting a doctor, I haven't thought about it. Is this a serious health issue? I really hope not.

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 7:14 pm

I'm not a doctor, so I wouldn't know in YOUR case. Going strictly by BMI, you're at the lower end of healthy, but losing 10 lbs wouldn't be unhealthy.

Meaning, you could stay where you are and be fine, or lose a little and be fine. In your case, it's a preference rather than a health issue unless you've other advice from your doctor.

I suppose the best advice is to relax and try the diet for a few weeks before stepping on the scale. Be comfortably active and enjoy your meals.

valerie_19s · Post by **valerie_19s** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 7:29 pm

Thanks, will do exactly that. I hope to have a better relationship with food with this diet.

Spudd · Post by **Spudd** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:26 pm

Based on standard height/weight charts, you're at a healthy weight right now. Google tells me the following:

Women tend to believe they look their best at values between 20 to 22 and men are usually satisfied with a BMI of 23 to 25. If your BMI is between 17 to 22, your life expectancy is longer than average. You don't need to lose weight.

Your BMI is 21.7 so you're totally fine.

My warning to you is that dieting to lose weight will eventually backlash and you will end up much fatter than you started out. I used to diet quite a lot, and lost 30 pounds or so, and kept it off for several years. But I was always thinking about food, and obsessing over new diets to try. Eventually I decided that mindset was unhealthy and stopped dieting, and now I weigh 65 pounds more than I did at my lowest, and 30 pounds more than I weighed before I decided to diet in the first place.

I think No-S is a very sensible and healthy way to eat, and I'm not telling you that doing No-S is a bad idea. I just want to warn you that you may not lose a lot of weight doing it, and if you don't, please please try to accept yourself the way you are rather than trying to cut back even more to lose the weight. Your body is most likely feeling happy and comfortable at this weight, it's a healthy weight to be at. So try to focus on self-acceptance, because strict dieting (ie calorie counting, low-carbing, etc) tends to be self-defeating.

I do find that No-S is helping me have a better relationship with food, so if that's your goal, you're on the right track.

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Tue Oct 27, 2009 10:46 pm

Hi Valerie! I guess I'm your diet soulmate

When I started No S four weeks ago, I weighed 120.6 lb at 5'2.2" (BMI 21.9). So don't worry, there's someone who started No S with a BMI like yours. Healthwise, I am fine now and I was four weeks ago, but I felt like I could still lose some belly fat (I weighed 110 lb last year, and that's my goal) and - most importantly - establish a healthy relationship with food. Prior No S, I used to think about food all the time, and/or permasnack all day. That has improved a lot by now, and it's getting better day by day. I actually take the time to sit down and enjoy my food now, instead of snacking in front of the TV etc.

valerie_19s · Post by **valerie_19s** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 3:49 am

I've been taking it slow, just focusing on my eating habits & not worrying much about losing weight. When I feel the urge to snack, I try to remind myself of what it feels like to wake up in the morning on an empty stomach. And it works! The past two days went well so far, I just hope I can keep it up.

Thanks for the info Anoulie & Spudd!

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:27 pm

Serious nighttime cravings are tough to crack. Keep up the good work, and good luck.

Since you've been curtailing your night time eating, has your sleep been better? I sleep much better if I haven't eaten since dinner.

valerie_19s wrote:I've been taking it slow, just focusing on my eating habits & not worrying much about losing weight. When I feel the urge to snack, I try to remind myself of what it feels like to wake up in the morning on an empty stomach. And it works! The past two days went well so far, I just hope I can keep it up.

Thanks for the info Anoulie & Spudd!

valerie_19s · Post by **valerie_19s** » Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:07 am

Yes, I'm sleeping heaps better and longer nowadays! I also find myself waking up surprisingly early in the morning looking forward to eat breakfast. It has now become my favorite meal of the day.

By the way, today is my first S day! Can I replace it with a N-day just to keep the momentum going & take it later this week when I feel like it?

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Sat Oct 31, 2009 10:41 am

valerie_19s wrote:
By the way, today is my first S day! Can I replace it with a N-day just to keep the momentum going & take it later this week when I feel like it?

No, that's not a good idea.

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Sat Oct 31, 2009 2:14 pm

valerie_19s wrote:
By the way, today is my first S day! Can I replace it with a N-day just to keep the momentum going & take it later this week when I feel like it?

You can't TRADE, but...
you can choose to eat like an "N" day on an "S" day,
anytime you wish.
In fact....that is the primary way to succeed.

valerie_19s · Post by **valerie_19s** » Thu Nov 26, 2009 9:59 pm

I was doing okay until my 21st day. I was so proud of myself for accomplishing this small feat that I gave in to one miniature-sized milkyway as sort of break from the routine. This led to another.. and another, and another. I wasn't able to stop 'till every last piece was out of my sight. I tried to start eating healthy again the next day but I was still full from my last binge. I decided not to eat the whole day as I wasn't hungry anyway and when night rolled in, I found myself snacking/binging again like the night before.

After two consecutive days of failure, I finally convinced myself to get back on track. I was able to hold on to no-s successfully for a week. But tonight, I fell off the wagon again. I wasn't able to stop myself from eating my favorite dessert. So here I am.. back to square one.

This is harder than I thought. I hope to get my habits straighten out before the holidays come in but now I don't think I'd be able to do that. I don't know what to do.

DaveMc · Post by **DaveMc** » Fri Nov 27, 2009 2:00 am

valerie_19s wrote:So here I am.. back to square one.

This is harder than I thought. I hope to get my habits straighten out before the holidays come in but now I don't think I'd be able to do that. I don't know what to do.

I doubt you're really all the way back to square one: after trying for several weeks, you'll probably find it easier to try again. There's a saying around here: "Mark it and move on". It was coined to mean that when you have a failure, just mark it on your HabitCal (if you're using it), and let that be the end of it. It's a nice way of reminding yourself that there's no permanent success or failure, there's just the next day. Remember, the goal here is to settle into a pattern that you can keep up essentially forever, and if it's very different than what you've been doing, it's not surprising that it's going to take a while. One of the podcasts (and maybe the book) mentions a statistic that major changes in eating behaviour often take a dozen or more failed attempts before they "stick" -- one relapse is nothin', so give yourself a break.

(If you're not using HabitCal, you might want to give it a try. It's something I found very helpful, especially at the beginning: the desire to keep that calendar from filling up with red is a nice extra motivation, and it lets you see at a glance how well you're doing.)

Jammin' Jan · Post by **Jammin' Jan** » Fri Nov 27, 2009 1:16 pm

I am also 5' 1" and at one time weighed 98 lbs. It really was too low to be healthy. If you are 115 now you really shouldn't aim for more than a 10 pound loss.

And please don't worry about failures!!! Lots of people have trouble at 21 days for some reason. Just pick up and keep going. You've spent a whole lifetime building habits; those habits aren't going to change in a mere three weeks. Give it time, enthusiasm, and some effort.

If you decide not to quit, you will never be back at square one again.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Fri Nov 27, 2009 2:25 pm

Jammin' Jan wrote: If you decide not to quit, you will never be back at square one again.

Jan, that is AWESOME advice. So true!!!

Valerie, some ideas...
First, get back on as fast as you can. The quicker you "dust off the crumbs" and start again, the less damage you do (both physically and psychologically).

I actually eat breakfast after those bingey days, even though I don't much feel like it, because I NORMALLY eat breakfast. I eat something really really light (like yogurt) and tell myself "this is your meal." That steadies me and keeps me from falling into the starve/binge cycle, because I'm already back to eating normal meals. (If I really want to do penance, I fit in some extra exercise.)

Secondly, try to break the "reward with food" cycle - as hard as that is! The best way I've found is to identify LOTS of non-food rewards and use them instead! I have come to regard over-eating as a mis-guided attempt at self-nurture, and look for ways to channelt that impulse more appropriately. So, think through all the senses other than taste... what do you love to see, hear, smell, touch/feel? Indulge yourself a little - buy yourself extravagent flowers, or bath oil, or whatever. And ENJOY them... along with the feeling of virtue for having achieved a milestone. (Then set yourself a new milestone goal, if that helps you.)

Hope this helps - use what works for you.

Best wishes!

valerie_19s · Post by **valerie_19s** » Fri Nov 27, 2009 8:50 pm

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I really need that.

I'm well aware the my binging is primarily a result of work stress. Speaking of which, work keeps me from eating my dinner on time. Although I get off work at 6pm, I normally reach home past 7pm. By this time, I'm already famished and I end up eating more than what I intended. Do you recommend that I eat a late lunch to sustain me till dinner? Or should I restrain myself from having seconds and try to sleep it off immediately to curb my cravings?

As for not seeing food as a reward, it would be really a challenge for me to break this habit. As mentioned in my first post, I think of food all the time. And discipline or self-control is something I'm never good at. But I still have hope that I can do this. This time, without a time limit. Wish me luck! I'll keep you guys posted.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Fri Nov 27, 2009 10:01 pm

valerie_19s wrote: I'm well aware the my binging is primarily a result of work stress. Speaking of which, work keeps me from eating my dinner on time. Although I get off work at 6pm, I normally reach home past 7pm. By this time, I'm already famished and I end up eating more than what I intended. Do you recommend that I eat a late lunch to sustain me till dinner? Or should I restrain myself from having seconds and try to sleep it off immediately to curb my cravings?

A whole new problem (and worthy of a new thread, but I'll answer here). You'll probably have to experiment. You've already identified two alternatives - a later lunch or earlier bedtime. Other ideas:
- Having something pre-prepped so that you can heat'n'eat the minute you walk in (leftovers, something in a crock pot).
- Developing an "end of meal" ritual that's calming, like a cup of herbal tea or something, that you have at the end of one plate.

Also, if you're under stress, consider choosing foods that are healthy/comforting. There are a lot of choices that are technically No-S that don't give your body what it needs to deal with stress.

valerie_19s wrote: As for not seeing food as a reward, it would be really a challenge for me to break this habit. As mentioned in my first post, I think of food all the time. And discipline or self-control is something I'm never good at. But I still have hope that I can do this. This time, without a time limit. Wish me luck! I'll keep you guys posted.

Oh, food is pretty much hard-wired into being A reward. The goal is simply to keep it from being the ONLY reward - expand your repertoire of rewards by tapping into the things that make you feel comforted/loved/happy/relaxeed.

valerie_19s · Post by **valerie_19s** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 6:19 am

Thanks KCCC! I don't know if it is just me but after meal, I still find myself looking for something to nibble on. I tried counting to ten to see if the craving goes away but it never does. I'll try out the tea and let you know how it goes!

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 12:36 pm

valerie_19s wrote:Thanks KCCC! I don't know if it is just me but after meal, I still find myself looking for something to nibble on. I tried counting to ten to see if the craving goes away but it never does. I'll try out the tea and let you know how it goes!

I used to do that too. Prior to No-S, I'd eat reasonably during the day and then blow it all by eating non-stop all evening. When I started No-S, I realized I used nibbling as an excuse to put off all the evening chores I didn't want to do! I so resented not having any time to myself that I was "taking" it by eating.

Oddly, when I quit nibbling and just did the stupid chores, I found I had more free time than I had previously realized - enough that I took up knitting as a hobby.

valerie_19s · Post by **valerie_19s** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 8:49 pm

I used to do that too. Prior to No-S, I'd eat reasonably during the day and then blow it all by eating non-stop all evening. When I started No-S, I realized I used nibbling as an excuse to put off all the evening chores I didn't want to do! I so resented not having any time to myself that I was "taking" it by eating.

Ditto. This is so me now. I don't know if it's psychological but when I'm at home, since I've worked all day, I give myself a reason to relax, eat and not do anything at all.

I plan to start adding exercise into my life so that should take up the whole night. But for now, I might just face the fact that I have to start doing the dishes. Knitting sounds good; it's something I'd consider as well as soon as I have free time. By the way, if you don't mind me asking, how long have you been doing no-s till your eating habit went back to normal?

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