"S" Days Dilemma ....Please HELP!

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:20 am

Hi everybody!
As a newbie to the No S Diet (this is my second successful month... yippee!) I'd be really grateful for your advice/input on S Days.
So far so good, my N days have been successful and I've even managed to lose 10 lbs. I attribute this to the fact that we have the S Days to fall back on/keep us going through the tough times. (Previously to starting No S, I was what one might call a sweet food junkie.

) However, when it actually comes to S days, I'm finding that I'm not really enjoying them and often as not, find myself feeling very guilty at the food choices/eating patterns on the S days. I also feel that after being so good/strictly adhering to the N days, that the S days have just undone all the good work I've done during the week not to mention reinforcing my sweet tooth. I know, it does sound crazy since we are supposed to take it easy on S days but I just would like some reassurance/guidance about what to do. For example, today (Saturday)I was in the grocery store and because it was an S day, I found myself eyeing up the candy/desserts aisle, deciding what to buy for treats. To be honest, I didn't even feel like anything sweet, but because it was an S day, my brain was telling me I could eat them and as many as I wanted. In the end, I thought "Nah! I've been this good all week and gone without - why spoil it now?" However, when I got home, I discovered some homemade fudge in the pantry and ate that instead. About a pound and a half's worth ! UGH!

Now I've come to my senses again and feeling very bloated, the guilt and disappointment has set in. I'm asking myself: "WHY did I eat the fudge? I've been doing so well until now and haven't had any sugar/food cravings like I used to. I feel like I've undone all my good work!"

Sorry its such a long winded message guys and I hope you can see where I'm coming from. I was thinking in future perhaps cutting down my S days or just keeping them for extra special Ss like eating out or using them only on Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays. Would appreciate your input very much and hopefully to put my mind at ease. Otherwise, I am just loving this diet and after a couple of false starts, I seem to have my N days down pat. Fingers crossed.
In a nutshell: I rely on the structure of the N days and feel so good about my eating patterns/habits and turning down the desserts etc. But when it comes to S days I don't really have a structure to speak of therefore in my mind, there's plenty of scope for bingeing/out of control eating/reintroduction to sweet foods therefore reinforcing my sweet tooth that I have worked so hard on to get rid of.

Look forward to hearing from you. Thanks everyone!

Best wishes, ROXY

dmarie710 · Post by **dmarie710** » Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:41 am

Hey Roxy
I would say congrats. You've lost 10 pounds. Your doing something right. Just try to remember how gross you feel when you overdo it, and I'm sure you'll adjust just fine. If it were me, I wouldn't change anything if I were actively losing.
Take care
Denise

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:53 am

Thanks Denise for your nice reply/comments. Your input is much appreciated.
I think what my 'dilemma' is is that I am wondering whether to give up S days and go cold turkey/have N days only. Particularly where the sweets are concerned. I know it is going against the rules of the No S plan but I am a serious sweet tooth freak

But I also realize that whilst it may work for now since I appear to be on a roll with the N days it may also be a recipe for disaster a few weeks/months down the road.

No doubt I am just overthinking it.

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:58 am

S-days, with the possible exception of just a few times yearly, were never meant to be days to go wild. They were meant to be a time to relax a little.

After some time on No-S I decided to forego regular S days on the weekends. I found I was eating things I didn't particularly want to eat just because it was Saturday or Sunday. What I do is allow myself 2-3 S events weekly -- maybe I want to have dessert when I go out; maybe I want to make a special dessert; maybe I want to have seconds of something special or popcorn for Monday night football. Or, maybe I don't want anything at all during a given week. Whatever. I still take holidays as S days and the days around my birthday (coming up this week) may have more S-events than usual, but I'm not worried about it.

Hunter Gatherer · Post by **Hunter Gatherer** » Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:08 am

While it's true that you shouldn't forget that lovely little "sometimes" in "Except (sometimes) on days that start with "S"" you have to remember that if you weld shut your release valve there will eventually be an explosion.

Take it from somebody who has had the "I didn't get the ice-cream I wanted so I will now eat three pints of the ice-cream I didn't want!" experience.

You cannot fail on an S-day.

A little guilt is okay. That's your mind saying "I see something I want to change." But don't be overwhelmed by it. Evaluate and make changes.

You could be more strict about picking your Ss in advance. (I had a small twinge when I read you were making your S decisions on an S-day, on an S-aisle - that's shopping while you're hungry.) Pick it before you're in the store.

You could limit it to a certain number (not one that's too small please!).

There are lots of options, but it's okay to eat what you want on an S-day, even if it's THREE pounds of fudge, just make sure you really want it.

I'm sure more people will pipe up with their individual solutions.

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:13 am

Thanks wosnes for a very informative, interesting and helpful post. I think I will give your No S mods a try to see how I get on. TBH, what I ate this evening is relatively minor compared to how I used to eat or should I say binge so I am probably worrying/overthinking too much, as stated. However kudos to Reinhard and the No S for instilling this in the first place.

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:17 am

Also thanks to Hunter Gatherer for a very interesting and informative post! Again, much appreciated. (I think we both posted at the same time

)
You also make some very good suggestions.

Jammin' Jan · Post by **Jammin' Jan** » Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:08 pm

It sounds like you're going through a typical phase.

My two cents is that you should stick to vanilla No-S: let N days be N days and S days be S days. If you are not happy with the specific choices you make on your S days, then think about it and make some changes. Don't dwell on guilt; try to learn from mistakes.

You are very new to No-S and if you abandon the original structure in favor of S-events during the week, then I think you might be in danger of going off track altogether. The reason No-S works is because it builds firm habits, but you have to stick with the structure in order to do that.

But the program is flexible and you will have to decide what works for you. There's a lot of trial and error for most of us.

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:58 pm

Jammin' Jan wrote:It sounds like you're going through a typical phase.

My two cents is that you should stick to vanilla No-S: let N days be N days and S days be S days. If you are not happy with the specific choices you make on your S days, then think about it and make some changes. Don't dwell on guilt; try to learn from mistakes.

You are very new to No-S and if you abandon the original structure in favor of S-events during the week, then I think you might be in danger of going off track altogether. The reason No-S works is because it builds firm habits, but you have to stick with the structure in order to do that.

But the program is flexible and you will have to decide what works for you. There's a lot of trial and error for most of us.

I should add that I'd been doing this for 3 years when I changed from regular Saturday/Sunday S days to the random S events. I rarely overindulged, but noticed that I was eating sweets or snacks just because it was Saturday or Sunday. Beyond that, a great deal of my socializing doesn't occur on the weekend, so I wasn't able to participate or indulge when I did socialize.

I'd give it at least a year before making changes. In the meantime, concentrate on not overindulging on the weekends.

Starla · Post by **Starla** » Sun Jan 17, 2010 2:04 pm

I am going to chime in and agree with Jammin' Jan and Wosnes. If you think you're having a problem with your S days, the first step is to try and fix that problem, not to abandon the structure. I've been doing No S for a little over 4 months, and I've had some bad S days too, but it hasn't undone the rest of the week. Judging by your weight loss (congratulations!) you're not undoing your N days either, despite your fears.

It really is helpful to plan your S day indulgences. Think of what you want before you go shopping, always knowing that if you see something that looks even better you have the option to choose that instead.

Good luck - you're doing great!

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Sun Jan 17, 2010 2:54 pm

Add me to the chorus that Jammin' Jan and Wosnes started.

One other strategy (in addition to deciding on treats ahead of time) that may help is think about "positive changes" to S-days. Mine got better when I decided to stick to the three meal structure and remember to drink enough water, which I tend to forget when at home. (Neither of those choices are added restrictions, please note!) Up to then, I'd been perma-snacking all day and feeling gross. The meal structure helped a lot - I ate desserts, but not all day long!

You've already noticed two important things:
1) Your binges are nowhere near what they used to be.
2) You feel icky when you overindulge.

Both are signs of important, positive progress. Your body will continue to tell you that it LIKES moderate eating, and you'll continue to work from a "norm" of less-extreme eating. Over time, these will have an effect.

So just give yourself that time, and consider this last weekend a learning experience. You didn't like this weekend. Well, you've got another one coming up in 5-6 days to do it differently.

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Sun Jan 17, 2010 10:59 pm

Thank you SOOO much everybody for your reassuring words and wonderful suggestions! Having read everyone's thoughts and opinions on the matter, I feel so much better today. Without feeling guilty, I also decided to give myself a couple of moderate treats today: i.e. a huge cinammon roll for breakfast (the Entennman variety)

and Trader Joes mac n cheese for dinner. I felt good about it and as a few of you have said, it is indeed part of the eating plan/learning curve to enjoy treats - in fact it is the mainstay of the diet and what we love about it. It is also a healing process since I have battled with overeating/dieting most of my life and it feels SOO good not to have to think about it at last. It did take me a few days and lots of hunger pangs in the beginning but I am proud and amazed that I have gone this long without bingeing and/or nibbling inbetweens. It would be a pity to undo the good this way of eating (don't really think of it as a diet) has instilled.

Anyway, thanks again everyone for your input. It was great to hear all your fab suggestions. Have a happy No S Week!

Best wishes , Roxy

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Mon Jan 18, 2010 12:35 am

Unless you have a specific reason for doing it -- macaroni and cheese does not have to be an S day food. It's a regular food.

~reneew · Post by **~reneew** » Mon Jan 18, 2010 3:11 am

Usually, I have terrible weekends also. It's not an odd thing for me to wake up and have cookies or pizza or chips for breakfast on Saturday. Monday through Friday I don't even want any breakfast. Eating that early makes me not feel good. I do it because I can. I have not found a ballance, obviously. I need to ponder a couple of great things written here:

wosnes wrote:S-days, with the possible exception of just a few times yearly, were never meant to be days to go wild. They were meant to be a time to relax a little.

After some time on No-S I decided to forego regular S days on the weekends. I found I was eating things I didn't particularly want to eat just because it was Saturday or Sunday. What I do is allow myself 2-3 S events weekly -- maybe I want to have dessert when I go out; maybe I want to make a special dessert; maybe I want to have seconds of something special or popcorn for Monday night football. Or, maybe I don't want anything at all during a given week. Whatever. I still take holidays as S days and the days around my birthday (coming up this week) may have more S-events than usual, but I'm not worried about it..

I may try this too. Anything is worth a try.

Hunter Gatherer wrote:While it's true that you shouldn't forget that lovely little "sometimes" in "Except (sometimes) on days that start with "S"" you have to remember that if you weld shut your release valve there will eventually be an explosion.

I need to think of it more as a release valve, not opening the floodgates.

I think I'll copy these to my check-in page if ya don't mind.

Thanks again guys!

blessedbeingmom · Post by **blessedbeingmom** » Tue Jan 26, 2010 6:35 am

I've been really enjoying my treats on weekends, but limiting myself to one or two sweets a day. Going by the serving size on the package helps me a lot.

Tricia O

Kathleen · Post by **Kathleen** » Wed Jan 27, 2010 7:30 pm

If you read enough posts, you'll see that people have very different reactions to S Days, and I speculate that the reason has to do with how they were managing their weight prior to going on No S. As for me, I followed the idea of "unconditional permission to eat" on S Days -- and eat I did. One weekend, I had 4,000 calories of caramel macademian clusters. There have been so many weekends that I ended up with a stomach ache that I began to think the S in S Days stood for stomach ache.

Nearly 18 months after starting No S, where am I? Down to 198 lbs. from a start of 215.

Am I disappointed? NO! My food obsession is ebbing away like the tide going out. I am just now starting to eat meals in which I don't push myself away from the table only when I cannot eat another bite.

I remember reading once that those who endured Germany's concentration camps often ended up obese in later life. They simply never could get over the horror of constant hunger. As for me, I endured 33 years of starvation diets. It took a lot of S Days gone wild for me to recover.

The N Day/S Day structure can be a starting point for people. Reinhard encourages people to try tweaking the diet and report back any successes or failures. One thing, though, is that eating 1 1/2 pound of fudge is in no way unusual for someone who has been constantly restricting food intake. I think it was KCCC who said that it is wonderful to be on a diet where there is not a side order of guilt!

Kathleen