How to just not do it

[thtrchic]

I'm noticing a pattern and it's not a good one. I seem to be having a failure a week and it seems to be a problem or start as a problem on Tuesdays. The issue is sweets. I can't seem to let go and not eat any. I have managed to do this successfully for a while in the past, but not in a while. Is there any advice out there for ways to stop other than "just don't eat them" because saying that doesn't seem to be enough?

I really feel like I need to figure out something if I have much chance of ever really losing weight and being healthy.

I'd love to hear any suggestions people have.

Thanks.
Julie

[Nicest of the Damned]

Can you make it more difficult for you to get sweets when you want them?

Is "don't have them in the house" or "don't go to the restaurant where you get them (except on S days)" an option? Or maybe you could avoid a particular kind or kinds of sweets that are your weakness, and keep other kinds of sweets around for others to have. This is my general approach. I buy sweets at the store only if a guest is coming, or maybe a small amount if an S day is coming up. I don't have candy dishes around, because I know I will keep eating until the candy dish is empty, if I have access to a candy dish.

Another option might be to try to spend your time away from the kitchen, ideally up or down a flight of stairs from it. Enlist your laziness to help you avoid the sweets in the kitchen (hey, nothing says you can't get your vices to fight against each other). This helps me avoid snacks. The snacks are in the kitchen, and I'm upstairs in the computer room, and I don't really want to get up and go down to the kitchen. If I weren't lazy, I'd go on a walk (or something like that) to get away from the temptation of any sweets in the kitchen.

[kccc]

Start with analysis...

When do you eat them? What are the triggers? Are you really hungry, bored, tense, etc? Does a particular context seem to set you off? A particular food?

That info will help you problem-solve.

Also, once you identify the underlying need, think about how else you can meet it. Often, eating is just a mis-directed attempt at self-nurture... so, look for a more productive strategy.

Good luck!

[thtrchic]

Thank you both!

Unfortunately, the sweets exist at work so there's no just getting rid of them. So I need to figure out how to work through it, I guess. Those are great questions, KCCC. Some I can answer easily and some I can't, but I'm thinking a lot about it right now and am feeling more hopeful I'll come up with answers and then solutions.

Julie

[idontknow]

I had a similar problem with biscuits (cookies) at work. My colleagues used to bring in packets and packets of them every week and I had to walk past the open tin several times a day. A strategy that worked for me was repeating to myself: 'I don't eat biscuits during the week' every time I walked past them. After a (very short) while I started to believe it and didn't even think about eating one.
The other thing which kept me away was that my colleagues were all more overweight than me. They would talk constantly about being on a diet and how much they had lost/gained at ww that week - while eating biscuits!!! . I was determined not to be part of that insanity.

I don't know if this will help - let us know how it goes

[oolala53]

I know I've posted my thoughts on this on other threads, so forgive me if this is a repeat, but I get help from having a long list of reasons I want to eat moderately. I have them as little bullet points of an index card I carry and pull out to read periodically during the day, plus they are here on my check in, and one other place on the net. Some reasons are for cosmetic reasons, but a lot have to do with pride, reminding myself that 40 years is long enough to struggle on this, etc. When I read them often, it's surprising how often one of them will pop into my head at needed times. No telling which one.

I also like idon'tknow's mantra one . I went from being Ms. Corner-piece-of-cake with lots of Frosting Girl to no sweets at work with a similar practice.

But in the end, you will have to "just do" one or more of these things! And one of them will stick. Or something will. It's totally worth the effort!

[wosnes]

My thought is that if you're seeing these things at work, they're mass-produced cookies or other treats. I've found that those things just aren't worth it -- even on S days. If you're going to have a treat, make it something treat-worthy.

For me, that usually means something from a high-quality bakery or that I've made myself.

[reinhard]

What wosnes said about this stuff almost always being crap is helpful.

As is having a counter-spell "mantra" at the ready like "idon'tknow."

Such spells will only be necessary for a few weeks, then they get internalized by habit. You'll be as likely to casually grab a sweet as to shoplift a cheap trinket that you don't even want.

Another trick I find helpful at work-food social events is to immediately grab a cup of black coffee. It gives me something to do with my hands, shows that I'm "joining in" somehow, and hey, it's a bit of a buzz. This trick works better and better as you habitualize the association between food temptations and your no-calorie caffeinated response. Tea would work just as well, I imagine. Even herbal, if caffeine is not your thing. The ritual is more important than the drug effect (maybe it even is a kind of drug effect, in a way).

Reinhard

[Nicest of the Damned]

Fuzzy Pink Niven's* Law: Never waste calories. If you're going to eat or drink something high in calories, it should at least be something good that you really enjoy.

A cup of water might even work for avoiding food and drinks at a work or social event (if you don't do tea or coffee). It gives you something to do with your hands and mouth, and shows that you're joining in.

Is it possible to spend less time in the area where the sweets are? Could you go there only when you need to for a work-related reason, and leave when you're done doing what you needed to do? The more time you spend around foods you shouldn't have, the more time that part of your brain that disagrees with the rest of your brain about what you should weigh has to think of excuses for eating whatever it is. Better to have foods you want to eat but know you shouldn't out of sight and inconvenient, so it's easier to not eat it than to eat it.

*Fuzzy Pink Niven is the wife of science fiction writer Larry Niven.

[thtrchic]

Thank you all. This is really helpful!

Things that I'm particularly grasping on to are just constantly repeating the mantra "I don't eat x on n days..." and making sure the calories are REALLY worth it and not just processed crap. The significant slowing down of not just grabbing what's there will probably save me in many cases.

I also realize that one problem may be trying to hard to focus on my lunch being healthy and sufficiently low calorie. I think for now I should focus on it just being lunch by the rules. No fast food, but sandwich, chip, fruit combos being ok. The not being excited about my lunch thing is making me more prone to start fantasizing about sweets and its hard to get out of my head once it's there. Basically, I think I might have jumped the gun a little and should be focusing for longer on habit and then in a bit I can worry more about decreasing calories/increasing health factor.

julie

[idontknow]

I think you are absolutely right. Your lunch needs to be enjoyable and satisfying otherwise you will feel completely cheated and reach for the sweet stuff to compensate. It has been said many times on this board but it's true: concentrate on getting the habit right and you will naturally alter what you eat as time goes on. Good luck

[Starla]

I'm chiming in to strongly agree that you should be having lunches you enjoy, not "diet" lunches. I always tell people the only foods I've given up on No S are the foods I don't like.

Good luck with this! I think it's great that your reaction to a problem is to try to figure out how to solve the problem and NOT "Oh, I can't do this."

[ShannahR]

I just want to add a third vote to the importance of tasty lunches that you enjoy. Even if it isn't the "healthiest" thing in the world, if you are satisfied and full after it, sweets have much less allure.

Another thing that really helps me is fruit. I know there's no universe where a cookie equals an apple. However, getting some of that sweet taste really helps. Over time, I've actually come to prefer fruit over processed sweets.

Good luck!

Oh yeah, one more thing. I just wanted to let you know you're not the only person who starts to fantasize about sweets and "bad for you" food when you get hungry. That happens to me too. In fact it's one of the ways I know I didn't eat enough at my previous meal!

[bluebunny27]

Tips to avoid cravings.

Reduce your stress level by taking long deep breaths for a min.

Drink one or two big glasses of water and wait 5-10 min.

Eat things that are low cal. Fruits and veggies, Plain popcorn : More filling and better for you. Try to eat them slowly too, remember, 10-15 minutes is the time you need to let the craving pass. Make sure you have a lot of veggies in the fridge so you don't run out. Eat things that fill you up too so you are not ravenous 20 minutes after having had lunch as if you had not eaten anything.

Hard Candy, 25 cal. But they distract you for 10 minutes, usually a craving only lasts 10-15 minutes top so if you distract yourself during that time you are usually home free.

Brush your teeth or use mouthwash ... I've used that a few times.

Eat your next meal a lil' bit earlier or later depending on how you feel ... like yesterday I wasn't feeling hungry at all so I ate dinner an hour later than usual, no problem ... made it easier during the evening too. Sometimes I was struggling with that, trying to wait for 20-30 minutes, etc. and then this could lead to overeating, just because you tried to stick it out for too long.

Take a long hot bath. A bath reduces your stress level and also curbs cravings. When you are COLD you are more likely to have 'em.

Distract yourself by doing something you like for 10 minutes. Anything goes, even FORNICATING. Benefits : Exercising + your boyfriend will be really happy too. Win-win situation.

Micro biting, only having one cookie instead of the whole box ... you get to taste the cookies but your whole day is not ruined either. This is a tough one though, because sometimes you just think, Oh I had one ... then you have another one ... then 2 more ... then the whole box. Discipline is required but that's what losing weight and keeping it off is all about ... even now, mostly maintaining I have to keep my good habits.

Smelling food, I was just reading about that yesterday ... and I experienced this too. Just smelling food can trick your brain into thinking you have eaten something ... when I was trying to lose weight I would sometimes smell chocolate syrup. I wouldn't even taste it, just smelling it was enough.

Exercise curbs cravings too and after you have exercised hard you don't really want to eat sweet things anyway, ruining your work out benefits. It's mental toughness really. The whole thing is mental, not physical ... you won't die if you don't eat all of those cookies, I'm pretty sure you were not on the verge of dying
+ You know there are thousands of factories making more delicious cookies right now, so what are you gonna do ?? They won't run out any time soon. They make a billion daily.

Total ban. That works. 2 of the main things I was struggling with : Cookies and ice cream. I banned them so now it's easy to avoid eating those. lol ! I may have a bit from time to time but I try not to bring them to the house ... and if I do I pick the most plain cookies you can find too so they are not soooooooo tempting.

Most people fails though, it happens 4-5-6 times per month. Well, I know there must be people who are always spot on, RESPECT. The trick is to get back to your habits quickly when you fail so you erase the mistake quickly. You don't ruin months and years of hard work by cheating one day or even one week straight same as you don't correct months and years of issues by eating salads and working out a few days in a row. Baby steps either way.

Cheers !

Marc

38 Years Old, 5'10" Tall
Nov. 1st. 2008 : 280 Pounds
Nov. 1st. 2009 : 190 Pounds
(1 Year : - 90 Pounds)

Current Weight : 193 Pounds

[thtrchic]

Thanks, guys. These are more really, really helpful ideas. I appreciate it. I thought about a lot of it throughout the day and ended up doing well. I'm actually looking forward to doing it again tomorrow.

Julie

[machelle]

I know I'm coming in late on this one, but one thing that has helped me SO much is to try and visualize ants and roaches crawling (or have crawled) all over that stuff. It seriously helps me to totally walk away from it.

[thtrchic]

Machelle, that's really funny. I love the idea! I'll add it to my "repertoire" of refusal.

Julie

[wosnes]

Two more ideas, both from Bob Greene's early books on diet and weight loss:

1. Journal what you eat. Sometimes having to write down that you ate a "forbidden" food will prevent you from eating it. You don't want to see that failure in black and white. Journaling doesn't have to be extremely specific, like "2 2-inch sugar cookies with frosting", "2 cookies" will do.

2. Before you eat the treats, take a few seconds to decide whether or not you really want to eat them. Literally, just a few seconds. But then if you eat them, you know that you made a conscious decision to eat them and accept the consequences (a failure).

[Spinningwoman]

I have come in late to this, but it is interesting because I have a job where people are often offering me small items of hospitality - usually a cup of tea/coffee and a biscuit or piece of cake. I used to feel very awkward at saying no to the biscuit/cake but now I just say 'No, I won't, thanks, just the tea' and that's all, and people seem to accept it quite happily. I think the trick is not to give any reason, because then they can't argue with it. If you say, 'I'm on a diet' they'll come back with 'Oh, go on - one biscuit won't do any harm' or whatever. I think the less self conscious you are about it, the less they will notice.

[DaveMc]

If you say, 'I'm on a diet' they'll come back with 'Oh, go on - one biscuit won't do any harm' or whatever.

Not offering any explanation usually works well, but if you do explain, I find that something like "I try not to eat between meals" works better than "I'm on a diet". The former sounds non-negotiable, while the latter sounds, as you say, like an invitation to talk you out of it. When I've done the "not eating between meals" thing, most often people just say, "Oh, that's probably a good idea."

[Spinningwoman]

Oh, yes -I like that, so long as you don't end up sounding judgemental. But as you say, that's something most people would vaguely think is a good idea.

I'm totally convinced that the no snacks rule is life changing. My husband and I both started a no sugar low starch diet a long time before I found no-s. We both lost weight but whereas I've had no real problems maintaining, he is still overweight, goes up and down and finds it all a real struggle. I'm sure that's because he's never trained himself to stop snacking. I can remember when the kids were small, and we would visit his parents, I was constantly starving because they just didn't eat between meals. I would have to take biscuits in my suitcase!

[oolala53]

So, spinningwoman, does that mean you have incorporated no snacks as well as a low starch eating program?

[DaveMc]

Oh, yes -I like that, so long as you don't end up sounding judgemental. But as you say, that's something most people would vaguely think is a good idea.

Yes, I try give it a sort of half-apologetic spin - "I'm trying not to eat between meals [shrug]", as if it's some silly thing I'm trying. But the thing is, the other person probably already *knows* it's not such a crazy idea. If all goes well, if they hear any scolding, it'll be the voice of their mother in their head, telling them they should be doing the same thing.

[Spinningwoman]

Voice of mother.. 'You'll ruin your appetite!' I remember it well.

Oolala: 'So, spinningwoman, does that mean you have incorporated no snacks as well as a low starch eating program?'

I'm trying to remember the way it all came together. I started low-carbing almost by accident to support my husband who had tried every diet going and wanted to try this one. We didn't 'count carbs' - we just gave up sugary and starchy foods, defining starchy pretty simply as bread, potatoes, pasta, rice etc. This was long before I had heard of no-s. I found that not only did I pretty easily lose my extra weight but a bunch of other health problems I had cleared up, so I was very happy to stick to it. I've since discovered, but didn't know then, that both my husband and to a lesser extent I am what the doctors here call 'pre-diabetic' but so long as I keep the starch and sugar down, I have normal blodd sugars and no problems.

When I first came across this site, it was the Shovelglove that I was interested in initially, but the whole 'systems' thing just meshed absolutely with the way my mind works. Simple little habit-hacks to change direction without lots of recording and counting. In a way, the original low-carb we followed was a classic 'everyday system' because it was so simple. Finding No-S came at a good time for diet reasons as well. I no longer needed to lose weight, but I found that when I tried to re-introduce some of the starchy or sweet foods, I fell of the wagon completely and started to get hit with all the old health problems as well as the pounds creeping back on. I went back to the low-carb but this time I felt a bit resentful about it because when I started, I had never thought 'this is forever, I can never eat bread or paella or pasta again'. I needed a way to loosen the reins in a safe and controlled fashion.

I've never had a problem with eating huge portions, so I've never felt the need to do the 'one plate' bit of no-s. (It would be exactly what my husband needs if I could convince him to do it, though.) I very rarely have seconds, even though I don't consider it forbidden. Apart from anything else, with a hungry husband and a teenage son in the house, anything that didn't go on my plate up-front is not likely to be there by the time I've finished my first serving. Desserts are usually berries and cream and only tend to happen on S days.

My excess always came in the form of snacking, and apart from nuts and cheese, snacks nearly always involve starch or sugar. I get offered cakes/biscuits often in the course of my job, so getting into a strong habit of not eating these is crucial for me. And the 's' day system works brilliantly to defuse my resentment because I know I can *sometimes* have the things that would push my weight and blood-sugar up and make me feel ill and depressed again if I indulged them all the time. 'Sometimes' is so much better than 'never'.

[oolala53]

Sounds very sane, and we need all the examples we can get. Thanks for posting!