100% failure

[jumbotights]

I lurk but rarely post. I cannot seem to accomplish the most valuable rule to me and the first step of the plan. I know without a doubt that adherance to this plan will change my life but cannot manage the most crucial step to me of three meals no snacks. I know that at least 80% of my calories are useless junky snacks and I am a slave to food. Even without limiting seconds I would be ahead as I am an insufferable perma snacker. Just this one step will change my life but I am such a failure I compulsiveley eat in order to feel calm, weird I know. Three meals is very foreign to me and it appears that unless I master this vital change I am doomed. And I feel doomed because I have only accomplished maybe 2 successful days and it was like summiting Everest.I literally snack morning to bedtime and it is like a sedative I believe. I am not a loser, I love my family, my job, my rescue dogs, but feel like a complete fool with my food. I feel like those of you who eat meals and don't snack are so much stronger and more advanced than me that I am in awe. Sorry for this novel but I want to be part of this 'family' and run like he'll to try and catch up to you all. -Kim

[Starla]

Kim -

First of all, I'm so glad you realize that there is a lot more to you as a person than food. You're right - you are not a loser; you are someone who has a problem with snacks.

Secondly, it's good that you've identified your problem. Some of us come into this with no real understanding of exactly why we've gained weight.

But you are NOT a slave to food, and your snacking problem is something you can change. Maybe eliminating all snacks is too much to handle in one big chunk. Could you limit yourself to one snack between breakfast and lunch, one snack between lunch and dinner, and another after dinner? When that becomes doable, you could eliminate the snacks one by one.

And finally, do you think failure prevents you from being part of this "family?" We ALL fail! Reinhard fails! We get back up again, and that's what you're doing with this post. Welcome to the family; there are lots of people here who will support you.

[jumbotights]

You are so sweet, thank you so much!

[reinhard]

Kim,

What I'd recommend is looking at the problem as practically as possible.

One one end is you, your rational self, and on the other are your current, extremely powerful bad habits. It's like you and some ravenous lion are sharing the same body. Don't feel guilty that the lion is dominating you -- it's a lion after all. One on one it would tear you or any human being to shreds. And the lion you happen to be stuck with might be even bigger and fiercer than the one others here are contending with, so no one has the right to look down on you. Just think, "OK, I'm stuck in a cage with a lion who has been chasing me around for years, I have to deal with this situation somehow. I can't fight him head on, so what can I do to trick the lion into submitting to me?"

The vanilla no-s rules might not be the trick you need, initially -- at least, the 3 meal version. Maybe you need to start with 4 meals if the lion is just going to roar his head off at three. Maybe even start with 5 discreet eating events per day. I wouldn't call that ideal, but if that's what it takes to achieve compliance, it's far better than the alternative of being chased around the cage again. Because once you've got the lion's attention, once you've got him doing that one easy trick, you can introduce all kinds of other more advanced tricks (like inching down to 3 meals). By demanding very, very little, but firmly, you establish who's boss. And that also gives you, the lion tamer, some much needed confidence and self-respect.

Basically, do whatever it takes to get a system you can succeed at, even if it's obviously not going to "work" straight off the bat (by "work" I mean sufficiently moderate your eating to lose weight). Start with one S, for example. Then give yourself a good solid green month to entrench that habit. Then keep slowing building on that platform of modest success until you're where you want to be. Getting those "greens" is much more important than losing pounds.

Best of luck and let us know how it goes,

Reinhard

[kwidener7]

Kim,

It is not weird that you constantly eat to feel calm! Plenty of us do it and have done it. Food is comforting.

Know that everyone here on the boards are here to support you. And maybe posting more when you do struggle will also help you. And I agree with the idea of not trying to start off with 3 meals (if you read the site and book there are things that say 3 meals is the default, but you have to make it work for you!) but with maybe 3 and some planned snacks. Also read up on some of the mods, a lot have suggested using things like only eating in front of others. Also, do not beat yourself up when you fail (you will fail at times and that's OK, even good if you use it right), just mark it an move on.

Another thing that you may also want to consider is some kind of counseling. I wonder if there isn't something in your past or current life that you are literally trying to "stuff" away. It may help if you have someone to talk to as you turn away from food.

You can do this and we will be here to support you! Best of luck taming you lion!

And remember, it only takes the tiniest change today to put your worlds away from where you are now in a month, year, decade, etc.!

[Nicest of the Damned]

Have you tried any non-food techniques for calming yourself? Yoga, various types of meditation, watching a favorite TV show, playing a favorite computer game, reading a good book, taking a walk, petting or playing with your dogs, visiting lolcats or loldogs? Those techniques work for some people. Try some different ones, see what works.

Have you given any thought to why you are in constant need of calming? Is something wrong at work or at home? Is there anything you could do to make that situation better? (Some counseling might help with this) Or do you just have free-floating anxiety for no reason? If you do, you might have an anxiety disorder. Or you might have a physical problem that causes anxiety. Might not hurt to see a doctor or psychiatrist, at least to rule out something like this. There's no shame in having a physical or mental health problem. Anyone who thinks otherwise is just as ignorant as people who say all rescue dogs are "damaged" or somehow inferior. You don't listen to people who are ignorant about rescue dogs, and you shouldn't listen to people who are ignorant about mental or physical health problems.

Are you sure you don't have unrealistic expectations? Humans evolved in an environment where there generally wasn't enough food. Our ancestors lived through situations like an asteroid impact that killed off the dinosaurs, and the Toba supervolcano that nearly wiped out humanity. They didn't survive those things by not eating when there was food available. The animals that were better at not eating when there was food available probably died out in those days. Now, those of us who live in developed countries are living in an environment where the problem is that there's too much food available. I've seen estimates that, in the US, the food industry produces enough food for every person to have 3900 calories worth of food per day. It's like an Antarctic penguin trying to live in the tropics. Penguins evolved in an environment where they had to conserve heat. If they try to live in the tropics, they're instead dealing with too much heat. Of course they're going to have trouble. This doesn't mean you can't adapt to an environment where there is too much food available (humans are very adaptable, just look at the range of environments we manage to live in), but it does mean you shouldn't expect it to be easy. It probably wasn't easy for humans (who evolved in the tropics) to start living in the Arctic. We did it, though.

Sticking to a diet is going to be like summiting Everest for some people, especially at first. It was for me. I didn't buy sweets or snack foods, so my biggest problem before I started No S was seconds. I resented the hell out of having to stop eating before I was full. I knew that I would feel unpleasantly stuffed shortly after dinner if I kept eating until I was full, but it still sucked having to stop eating before I felt I had had enough. Between meals, I would feel like I really, really wanted something to eat. At the end of a meal, I'll sometimes think, "I want something else to eat." I've been on No S since June, and I still sometimes get the urge for a snack, or the urge to eat more after a meal. The snack urge happened last night after dinner. I was able to resist, but it wasn't easy. It has gotten easier over time, and this kind of thing is less frequent than it used to be, but it still happens.

It doesn't make me a bad person, or a loser, even if I do give in to the temptation and do something I'm not supposed to. It makes me human. People do things they shouldn't. This is why so many religions have ways of making up for doing things you're not supposed to do (Yom Kippur for Jews, confession for Catholics, etc). We don't kick people off the board when they have their first "red" day.

There are people who find a diet easy from Day One. They're lucky. It's not because they are good people and people who find diets hard are losers. It's the luck of the genetic, psychological, and environmental draw. And remember, people do manage to do things that are hard for them. It's not as if the people who find a diet hard are fated to not be able to do it. I'm sure that, at some point in your life, you've learned to do something that you found hard at first. Maybe it got easier as you got accustomed to it. You did that (whatever it was), you can do this. People do summit Everest. According to Wikipedia, about 2700 people have done it, some more than once.

On the subject of lions, here's a picture to make you feel better:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/object/ar ... 401067.jpg

[DaveMc]

And I agree with the idea of not trying to start off with 3 meals (if you read the site and book there are things that say 3 meals is the default, but you have to make it work for you!) but with maybe 3 and some planned snacks.

I think this is a key point: the first and biggest challenge with NoS is to get over the habit of eating at random. (I'm not sure how to translate that into the behaviour of a lion, sorry! I love the metaphor, though.) If you can slowly move towards your eating happening at planned times, you'll be making progress even if you end up eating exactly the same amount of food in total. Because once you start to plan when you eat, you can start planning to eat less often. And then you can, um, stroke the lion's mane, or something.

There are two kinds of people on this board: people who say that NoS was difficult for them at first; and liars. [OK, there probably are some people who really had no trouble with NoS at all, right from the start. I apologize to both of you.]

[jumbotights]

You are all so awesome and helpful, thank you so much. I can't type long cause I'm at work but I will later. Last night after eating way too many sunchips when I wasn't really even 'stomach' hungry felt so out of control it scares me like I can't stop. Thanks again.

[Nicest of the Damned]

First, two successful days is not 100% failure. It's two successes. Even a small success is still a success.

Last night after eating way too many sunchips when I wasn't really even 'stomach' hungry felt so out of control it scares me like I can't stop. Thanks again.

You know there's a difference between "stomach hungry" and food cravings or just wanting to eat. You know you eat to calm yourself. There are a lot of people who don't know those things. You're better off than those people, at least from the standpoint of dieting.

Maybe your lion is harder to train than some other people's lions. You probably know from your work with your rescue dogs that some dogs are easier to train than others, and that a dog might have an easy time learning one behavior and a hard time with another one. You might have to take the training a little slower than some other people do. This isn't because you're bad. You wouldn't say a rescue dog that was having trouble learning a behavior was bad, would you? Besides, anyone who works with rescue animals is a good person (unless they're an animal hoarder, or make their dogs fight, or something awful like that). You can't be a bad person. Luna the Rescue Cat says so.

Maybe you could try laying out your snacks, on a plate or in a bowl, before you eat them. Close up and put away the package before you start eating. You can get more if you're still hungry when you finish the first plate or bowl, but you can't eat directly from the bag or box. There will be more dishes to wash, but that's OK. On S days, the restriction doesn't apply, and you can eat snacks directly from the bag or box. You could do that, right?

You might even start to lose weight, at this point. Brian Wansink's research indicates that people eat less when they have some external cue when to stop eating. Most of us have eaten a whole bag of snack food without intending to, at some point. Any weight loss will probably be slow, even when you're in full No S mode. And the weight loss is not the point. The habit is.

Getting a habit down takes at least 28 days, according to researchers in behavior modification. Do this for a month. Keep a HabitCal or daily check-in thread (we're all cheering for you, but we'll still love you even if you fail), or mark off whether you succeeded or failed that day on a paper calendar. You don't have to show this calendar to anybody else, if you don't want to. When you're to the point where you only fail a couple of times per month, you can start on another habit. Don't rush yourself into developing other habits. If you try to teach a dog two behaviors at once, you know you'll confuse it and it will probably learn neither. One at a time.

When you have got this habit down, celebrate! (Ideally with something that doesn't involve food) You've managed to establish a habit that lets you take more control of your eating! That's a very real accomplishment. Don't be like too many people, who, when they accomplish something, say, "well, I still have to do X and Y" or "I still haven't done Z". You've taken the lion from ignoring what you want and doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants, to doing something because you want him to. Don't minimize that accomplishment.

When you've gotten to where you generally don't eat directly from the package any more, limit the number of plates or bowls you get on N days (doesn't have to be to 1, but should be a fixed number, and should be a little less than what you normally might eat). Learn to get out a set amount of food to eat, then stop when that food is gone, whether you still feel like you want to eat more or not. This sounds like a trivial thing to do, but it isn't. It's one of the things that I struggle with in No S. It's a profoundly unnatural thing for any animal, including humans, to do, to stop eating when there is food available and you feel like you could eat more. Don't expect it to be easy. Don't expect that you won't wish you could eat more, when the food is gone. You will. You might even resent having to stop eating, like I did and sometimes still do. You might be crabby afterward. You will fail, sometimes. You might feel frustrated and bad about yourself if you fail. That's all normal. If this isn't Everest, it's at least Kilimanjaro:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.c ... O46904.DTL

Some other habits to try and establish once you've got that habit down might be:

Eat only at set times. Decide on a number that is a little less (not radically less) than the average number of times you eat per day. It will probably be more than 3, but that's OK. Pick times for those snacks/meals. On N days, eat only at those times, not at other times. Don't worry yet about the number of snacks/meals, that will come later. The idea is that, in the words of the Bible or 60's music, there's "a time you may eat, and a time to refrain from eating". You will be hungry between those times (if you're not, reduce the number of snacks/meals). There will be times other than those set times when you can think of nothing but food. That's normal for someone who is changing their eating habits. It does get better as you get used to it, but that will take time. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Reduce the number of snacks/meals per day by one.

Reduce the number of plates or bowls of food you are allowed at a sitting by one.

No eating except while sitting down.

Serve your meals (and snacks, if still applicable) buffet-style. Have the food in the kitchen, rather than in serving platters or bowls on the table. This is helpful with "no seconds".

No eating except at the kitchen or dining room table, or wherever it is you normally eat your meals.

Only have one kind of snack food per person in the house. You have to finish or throw away the snacks you've got before you can buy any other kinds.

If snack food is available in more than one size of package, never buy the largest one.

Stop buying certain kinds of snack foods.

The rules should be things that are simple and easy to see if you've followed them or not. It's obvious to anyone whether or not they are sitting. Either you bought Chex Mix, or you didn't. Either you filled your chip bowl 3 times, or it was 2. Something like "don't eat more than 500 calories in a sitting" is much less obvious, and not as good as a rule. You can eat without knowing whether or not you ate more than 500 calories. It's a lot harder to not know if you were sitting or not while you did it. And an outright ambiguous rule, like "don't eat too much", is close to worthless- how can you possibly know if you followed that one or not?

Remember, you only want to add between one and three new rules at any given time. If you try to add a lot of them at one time, you'll end up following none of them. And that doesn't help anything. No diet that you don't follow can do you any good. The maximum number you can successfully add at one time might end up being less than 3. That's OK.

If you try to implement a rule that just doesn't work for you, don't worry about it. There are no eating rules that work for everybody who tries them. That's why there are mods. Try a different rule. A few months later, you may be able to revisit a rule you weren't able to do earlier, and find you can do it. You build willpower on this diet.

[wosnes]

Another strategy: before you eat a snack, take a few seconds to ask yourself if you really want or need it. If the answer is "yes", you know you made a decision to eat it and accept the responsibility for eating it. If the answer is "no", you avoided eating a snack.

I'm generally not a fan of food diaries, but having to write down everything you eat might stop you from eating some of the snacks.

[TPIMH]

You have received some great ideas from other here. I'm new to No S, so I don't have a lot of "sage" advice regarding the diet, but I'm a pro at the "overweight" thing and "struggling on a diet" thing.

The one thing that stood out to me in your post was the title, "100% failure" and the fact that you referred to yourself as a "failure." I know how easily words like this can roll around in our heads when we're talking about ourselves, but if we think these things too often, they become a self fulfilling prophecy. I don't know if you have children, but think about someone that you love. Would you think of them as a "failure" if they had one area of their life that was a struggle? I'm betting the answer is no, so treat yourself like you treat your loved ones. Be kind to yourself!

I have a mantra that I say to myself daily... (It helps on some days.)
"I can do this!"
"I will do this!"
"I am worth it!"
"I deserve it!"
AND
"I want it!"

I've only been around here for 12 days now, and I've found a great deal of support in reading this board. Yesterday, I "broke" and had several extra snacks during the day. In the past that would have derailed me for days. This morning I woke up, ready to start the day fresh, and I kept to No S all day!

Best of luck to you!

[jumbotights]

Thank you for the bounty of good advice and kind words. I am at a loss and am wondering if I could actually have a successful day of three distinct meals if at those meals i ate the crap that I crave. Just as an attempt to get one three meal day under my belt. I understand that's certainly not ideal but I need to begin somehow, someway, to even begin this crucial step for me. I have had only two successfu 3 meal days and that was very long ago. I have lost sight of how I did that and know that it was not easy, in fact extremely difficult. I want badly to make 3 or even 4 distinct meals a habit and that is as foreign to me now as speaking Japanese. I need to break down the baby steps so small that they are more like crawling to get to the baby steps. And because of that, I know I need this plan more than ever. I want to thank each of you for your thoughtful and helpful responses. Oh, forgot to say that I make dinner most nights for my great hubby but he mostly eats alone since I have permasnacked all dang day.

[kccc]

Thank you for the bounty of good advice and kind words. I am at a loss and am wondering if I could actually have a successful day of three distinct meals if at those meals i ate the crap that I crave. Just as an attempt to get one three meal day under my belt. I understand that's certainly not ideal but I need to begin somehow, someway, to even begin this crucial step for me.

I actually think that's a very good idea. Start with habits, and worry about what's ON your plate later.

Right now, you need to set goals where you can succeed. You should think "oh, of course I can do THAT!" as you set them. Once you experience success and that goal becomes easy, then you can set another goal. Inch by inch, you raise the bar. But slowly enough that you can do it.

Best wishes!

[alisoncooks]

You've gotten tons of great advice here.

I just wanted to chime in that I "started" No S a few weeks back and I've YET to have a successful green day.

I struggle with boredom eating, stress eating, happy eating, mindless eating...hmmm, just eating in general. And I don't eat healthful foods at those times, I crave junk. Plus I have a problem with the "all or nothing" mentality.

I *know* better, but I don't *do* what I know to be helpful/healthy....but right now I'm congratulating myself that this is a problem that I've become AWARE of and I'm considering myself on the road to better habits.

Baby steps, just baby steps . Congrats for getting on the path...[/i]

[idontknow]

You are not a failure - you just need to approach this in a way that will work for you - as lots of other people have said. It's hard, but to quote KCCC from another thread - you can do hard things

Good luck with the babysteps - we'll all be cheering you on

[zoolina]

Hi Jumbotights,

This is my first post in quite some time (years!). I've had a few difficult years in the lion cage, got some counselling, and gained some weight. So I'm back.

First of all, let me say that there are a lot of articulate, wise people on the board these days! It's so nice to see that some of the people I "knew" way back when are still here, still dispensing great advice!

I share your lion. That is, I tend to eat for emotional reasons. When I slow down and look at my food I even wonder if I LIKE to eat at all. But I am compelled to, for some reason, and like you it makes me feel bad, guilty, out of control.

A few things I learned from last time around, which I'm doing now, too:

1) I second everyone's advice to go slow. Choose a habit that you know you can succeed at, even if it seems wimpy and small. Get a calendar, and be fastidious about marking your successes. Have a special green pen and make an event of coloring in a big square to show that you have been successful. In the beginning, last time, I had 3 success squares for each day, one for no junk food between breakfast and lunch, one between lunch and dinner, and one from dinner to bedtime. Habitcal was good, later, but in the beginning, filling in those green squares for a small attainable habit was key. It felt great to see myself as a success. Better than losing weight, actually. And I WAS able to move from easy habits to harder ones, like no snacking between meals and not eating seconds. I gave myself a lot of time, though. Months and months.

2) I also had something called a "no binge failure". If I did fail, but didn't go crazy for the rest of the day, I marked the square in purple. Yes, I broke down, but no, I did not let that discourage me for longer than that one discreet event. In a way, having successful failures made me feel very strong and in control.

Good luck,

Zoo

[Nicest of the Damned]

Thank you for the bounty of good advice and kind words. I am at a loss and am wondering if I could actually have a successful day of three distinct meals if at those meals i ate the crap that I crave. Just as an attempt to get one three meal day under my belt. I understand that's certainly not ideal but I need to begin somehow, someway, to even begin this crucial step for me.

I actually think that's a very good idea. Start with habits, and worry about what's ON your plate later.

I concur. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Eating three or even four meals of crap every day would be better than grazing on crap all day and feeling like you are a failure with no control of your eating, the way you are now.

You build willpower on this diet. In a few months, when you've got some successes under your belt, you might be able to make changes that seem unthinkable now. When I started No S, the idea of having half the area of my plate be taken up by vegetables was something I thought would never work for me, not in a million years. I'm doing it, now.

[leafy_greens]

One one end is you, your rational self, and on the other are your current, extremely powerful bad habits. It's like you and some ravenous lion are sharing the same body. Don't feel guilty that the lion is dominating you -- it's a lion after all. One on one it would tear you or any human being to shreds. And the lion you happen to be stuck with might be even bigger and fiercer than the one others here are contending with, so no one has the right to look down on you. Just think, "OK, I'm stuck in a cage with a lion who has been chasing me around for years, I have to deal with this situation somehow. I can't fight him head on, so what can I do to trick the lion into submitting to me?"

Reinhard

I have the same ravenous lion and extremely powerful bad habits inside me as well. I had a month straight of green days last year. I haven't had another green day since.

[oolala53]

Leafy greens, I had three weeks of N days in the fall of 2008, and a few scattered weeks that summer of 2009, but no more compliance until Jan. of 2010. I think all the failure in the world in the past does not prove that failure is inevitable. We "fail" until we don't! I also know my sister said about five years ago, after having been pretty small most of her life but putting on about 45 lbs. after retiring, that she accepted that she would never be slim again. Since last spring, she has taken off 32 lbs. You just never know when desire and new habits are going to kick in!

[jumbotights]

Still trying, still failing, but won't stop till I get it right.

[Kathleen]

Try getting it right for one hour after breakfast. Do that consistently for a week and then add some more time. I remember hearing the saying long ago, "Build on small successes."
Kathleen

[jumbotights]

Thanks Kathleen. I wil welcome any success at all. I will do that today.

[DaveMc]

Still trying, still failing, but won't stop till I get it right.

With that attitude, you can't lose, in the long run. Hang in there!

[jumbotights]

You guys are awesome for the support and tips. And those who told me I wasn't alone in struggling long to get a green day under their belt thanks a ton for writing that. Thought I was alone in the ridiculous time it's taking to get a green. I had one green yesterday and I'm feeling pumped by it. Wasn't easy and almost blew it but fortunately didn't have any snack foods in house thankfully. Anyhow thanks to everybody and I will keep posting here!

[Nicest of the Damned]

I had one green yesterday and I'm feeling pumped by it. Wasn't easy and almost blew it but fortunately didn't have any snack foods in house thankfully. Anyhow thanks to everybody and I will keep posting here!

Congratulations! You did it!

[idontknow]

Well done! Knew you could do it

[funfuture]

Yes, well done!

[leafy_greens]

Another strategy: before you eat a snack, take a few seconds to ask yourself if you really want or need it. If the answer is "yes", you know you made a decision to eat it and accept the responsibility for eating it. If the answer is "no", you avoided eating a snack.

My problem is that the answer is always "yes".

[Nicest of the Damned]

Another strategy: before you eat a snack, take a few seconds to ask yourself if you really want or need it. If the answer is "yes", you know you made a decision to eat it and accept the responsibility for eating it. If the answer is "no", you avoided eating a snack.

My problem is that the answer is always "yes".

Well, then, you don't need to ask yourself that question. You already know the answer you're going to get.

I think you should switch from asking yourself whether or not you need a snack to telling yourself you don't. You are not going to starve to death by eating three reasonable meals a day. You know that. Tell yourself that when you want a snack (not need one, we just established that you won't starve on three meals, and that means you don't need a snack).

Realize that being hungry or having a food craving isn't a red emergency alert. Nothing bad is going to happen if you are hungry and don't eat something right away, or if you have a food craving and don't fulfill it. You'll have some mild discomfort, but that's it, really. It's not like the feeling of having to go to the bathroom, where eventually something bad will happen if you ignore it. (Eventually, yes, something bad would happen if you totally ignored your hunger and didn't eat, but you're going to eat a meal a long time before that would happen.)

Step back from the feeling. Say to yourself (or even aloud, if you're alone), "I notice that I am hungry" or "I notice that my mind is craving whatever-it-is". Just notice that the feeling is there, but don't try to do anything about it. Just detach yourself from it, and sort of watch it doing its thing for a little while. Know that it is a mental state, and, like all mental states, it will eventually go away. Don't let your mind get drawn into the feeling and start thinking about what you'd like to eat to deal with it. I like to think of mental states and sensations like hunger and food cravings as being like clouds- they come, and they go.

Know that thirst and boredom can masquerade as hunger. Get something to drink (ideally, something without calories) instead of something to eat. Find something more interesting to do.

Make it harder to get a snack. Even a tiny little bit of extra difficulty or effort helps. Move the candy dish from your desk to across the room, so you have to get up to get a candy from it. Keep your change in your car instead of in your purse, so it's harder to get change for the vending machine. Make your laziness fight your urge to snack. There's no rule saying you can't play one vice off against another.

Keep the food out of sight. If you see food, you think about food, and if you think about food, you get hungry. This is why so many food ads have images of the food in them. Smelling food, or hearing food cooking, can also be a problem. Try to avoid areas where you will see or smell food when it's not meal time.

[wosnes]

I think you should switch from asking yourself whether or not you need a snack to telling yourself you don't. You are not going to starve to death by eating three reasonable meals a day. You know that. Tell yourself that when you want a snack (not need one, we just established that you won't starve on three meals, and that means you don't need a snack).

Realize that being hungry or having a food craving isn't a red emergency alert. Nothing bad is going to happen if you are hungry and don't eat something right away, or if you have a food craving and don't fulfill it. You'll have some mild discomfort, but that's it, really. It's not like the feeling of having to go to the bathroom, where eventually something bad will happen if you ignore it. (Eventually, yes, something bad would happen if you totally ignored your hunger and didn't eat, but you're going to eat a meal a long time before that would happen.)

I agree!

There's a basic truth here: there are stages of hunger, and we -- Americans -- have become accustomed to feeding ourselves at the first sign. This is the equivalent of taking a nap every time you get tired, which hardly anyone does.

There are levels of hunger, and there is a very real difference between hunger and starvation. Starvation is a physical state; your body is deprived of essential nutrients or calories for a long period of time. Probably no one reading this book has ever been truly starving -- though we all think we know what starving feels like.

Hunger is a hardwired early-warning system. At first, your brain says, "Think about eating something soon." In the later stages it says, "Eat as soon as you can; make eating a priority." At no point does your brain say, "Eat now or you will do permanent damage," though at times it may feel as if that is true. But "Eat when hungry" has become a habit. We get hungry. We eat. We get hungry again. We eat again. And so on.

I'm not saying, "Don't eat when you're hungry." I'm saying that if losing or maintaining weight is important to you, think twice before you eat from simple hunger, or from other reasons, like emotion. And when you do eat, choose a piece of fruit; a carrot; a handful of nuts. If you're still hungry, have more. And more. Eat a pint of blueberries, or cherry tomatoes; have a mango, a banana, and an apple. Have a lightly dressed salad. You would be hard-pressed to gain weight eating this way.

You can also embrace hunger, strange as that may sound, just as you might embrace the delicious anticipation of a nap, or sexual craving. Your hunger will, after all, be satisfied; why not wait an hour? (You're not dying, after all!) You might also stop eating before you're full (three-quarters full is probably about right). And if you eat slowly, taking your time, you'll give the food time to reach your stomach and give you a sense of satisfaction before you have seconds or thirds.

[sisiromy]

Hello,

I suffer from Binge Eating, and at first i would snanck/binge/graze all the time.
For a month i allowed myself to have a snack in the afternoon (my risk hour). During that month i didn't lose, but i didn't gain either. Besides it was rather an extra meal than a snack.

Anyhow, now it's much much much easier to stick to the three no S

Take care

[~reneew]

I totally understand your pull to the food and feeling like a slave to it. I am right there with ya! The only way that I can get through my day is to take tiny steps. If you start out just trying to get through from breakfast to lunch... then reward yourself with something like a sticker in a book, money, etc... then plan to wait until the next meal. One at a time. Buy yourself fancy expensive fruits. I have no qualms spending extra on Doritos, yet have a hard time spending extra on berries out of season, why??? Treat youself. If you have a terrible craving, plan to have that at your next meal. Maybe write it down on a piece of paper on the actual plate. Another thing I have done for a panic moment is to eat a jolly rancher. I allow it for that purpose. They take a long time to eat, are full of flavor and you can't chew it or loose a filling. Stubbornly set your mind that you will get through the day. Just one.

[Nicest of the Damned]

I have no qualms spending extra on Doritos, yet have a hard time spending extra on berries out of season, why???

Maybe because they won't be as good as something that is in season. If you're really craving a fruit or vegetable that's out of season, have it, but the in-season stuff is generally likely to be better.

[oolala53]

I think most berries are expensive in season, too. But you're right, still less expensive than pigging out on Doritos. However, "highly palatable" foods- that is, foods that are engineered to appeal to our innate desires for sugar, fat, and salt- have a documented different effect on our brains than do the lovely berries. And on No S, with the unlikeliness of filling our plates with chips, that bag of Doritos could become rather cost-effective. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder.