Frustrated that I seem to be gaining on No-S

[gettheweightoff]

I am upset right now and decided to post a message instead of saying screw it and eat and eat. I apologize in advance if it is negative.

So as some of you know I decided to get rid of all of my smaller, "to wear when I get thin" clothes which leaves me with fewer items and my "fat" clothes.

Since doing no-s my clothes are very tight on me and now my "fat clothes" are too small. Is it possible I have gained weight since doing no-s over the past 6 weeks. It looks like this is in fact the case. I am so upset right now and even though I'm crying out of sheer frustration right now something is telling me to stick with it.

The problem is if I cut back on my caloric intake (I can't start measuring calories as I'm finally starting to get out of diet head) I will be starving and it will set me up for a binge which I don't want to do any longer. If I continue eating the way I am now which I don't actually think is that bad (you can see them in my daily posts) I am concerned that I may even gain weight let alone maintain.

Now I know I need to incorporate excercise but I'm just trying to deal with one thing at a time and I'll start excercising this week - hopefully that will help.

It's bad enough I'm a good 25lbs over my ideal weight and now that I have loosened the grip on this "ideal" I am at least 15lbs over where I need to be. It is just so frustrating. Here I am doing everything I am supposed to do food wise and working so hard to get over this binge eating problem and I was better weight wise when I was restricting and bingeing than I am now building better these better habits.

I don't mean to sound so negative.. it's just so dejecting when I feel I am mentally getting stronger and the efforts are just not showing up physically.
I am sticking this through and I'm not giving up. I just feel frustrated right now.

I guess going back to work a few weeks ago triggered all of this for me because the only work clothes I have are from years ago and it is like a reminder of how much weight I've gained and I know I know it's time to buy new clothes and I realize the sooner I get rid of them all the better but I don't exactly have a lot of money to do this all at once. I guess the realization of how much I have gained has just struck me and I just want to get some of it off.

Sorry, again for such a long and pathetic post. I can imagine you are all sick of me and the things I go on about. I just don't have much of an outlet for these feelings and I just want this way of eating/living to work for me and I know it's still early days but I would love to see some results already.

[funfuture]

Hang in there. It's not a pathetic post at all - I'm sure many of us are really feeling for you and recognise your situation. Have you considered that your body might be swinging wildly in the opposite direction to having been starved/binged for some time. It may need time to settle down. I've found that my portions are naturally diminishing on NoS as I get used to it again (except if I have had a very wild weekend - that seems to raise all the cravings and longings so that the following mondays are very tense!). I am sure your portions will start (have started) to settle and that your body will find its own equilibrium as it starts to trust that it has a steady, healthy supply of food to meet its needs. Have patience. The exercise is a good idea - it makes you feel much better and at the minimum, helps neutralise the sort of stress you are feeling just now. It will also help to make your clothes fit better.
Don't lapse back into the dieting/binging - it doesn't work for you (or anyone else). We all know that. Don't waste time by going off NoS as a reaction to this. It WILL sort itself if you can hang in there.
Sending you hugs.
Fun
x

[Sienna]

I agree with funfuture. It can take some time for your body to sort of figure things out and settle in. With many fad diets, you lose a lot of weight quickly and then your weight loss rate slows or stops completely. They are designed to cause you to lose water weight. This means for the first couple of weeks you feel awesome because you just lost OMG! 10 pounds of water! Except that you aren't really changing your body composition - you still have just as much fat. The hope is that you then decide to stick to the diet because you've been able to see the results. This is good for the company selling the diet (yay more money!) and possibly good for you (if the diet is a good diet in general). The problem is that many of these diets *aren't* actually good in general and you won't stick to them and/or continue to lose weight.

NoS doesn't do much to address water retention. So there is no initial massive drop for many people (I certainly didn't have one). This means that it can be easier to panic than on other diets. But what NoS has over other diets is that it is sensible and sustainable and compatible with other diet/dieting restrictions. So for people who can stick it out, there is a delayed reward.

Since I know that you have been struggling with panic and with diet head, one thing you might try in conjunction with NoS are a few changes to try to reduce water retention and give you a bit of a motivation boost. Only try these things if you think you can do them non-obtrusively. If it feels like another rule or restriction it could overwhelm your habit development. But if it seems like something you could just try, go for it.

1. Drink more water! Add a little flavor if you need to (I keep lemon juice in the fridge and squirt a little into a glass of water, makes it delicious and possibly even more nutritious - but mostly it just makes me drink more water)

2. Cut salt. Not eliminate Don't go nuts. Don't try to "diet". Just little things, like when you are shopping and going between two brands of the same thing and can't decide let the sodium content be the deciding factor. Little changes can add up.

3. Cut soda or anything with carbonation (which can bloat you). You can try making it an S, so that it fits nicely into the NoS framework and doesn't feel like a rule. If you drink a lot now, just reducing (as opposed to eliminating) soda intake might help.

Now, bear in mind, if you were doing many of these things pre-NoS you may just not have as much/any water weight to lose. But that's okay, it just means it will take more time.

Another thing to think about is whether your "ideal weight" is really attainable and reasonable for *you* at *this* stage in your life. Back when I was in high school, I was 10 pounds over the top of my ideal weight range. I was also in awesome shape (I was an athlete so I was pretty lean even though I was bulky).

To be honest part of my weight gain issues when I left high school were do to the mental problems that being "overweight" helped me develop. I figured if I couldn't be at a healthy weight and supermodel thin when I was training and eating well, why bother trying at all? Sure, I knew then what I still know now - that it was muscle, not fat, that was making me heavy and bulky looking, but knowing why wasn't actually enough to stop me from giving up trying. So when college came and my activity level plummeted, I started to steadily gain weight. And even though now it was fat, not muscle, I'd already sort of accepted that my body would do whatever the heck it wanted and that it was pointless to try to do anything differently. So I ate crud and I ate a lot of it.

The beauty of NoS is that it's not about numbers. It's about eating reasonably. The idea is that eating reasonably will let you balance out at a reasonable weight. For me, a reasonable weight is far less than the 226 pounds I started at. Will it be at the 150 or below that that the BMI scale recommends for me? Maybe, maybe not. But I've decided that as long as I feel good and I'm being moderate in my eating habits, then that should be good (now deciding and holding to that decision whenever I plateau are two different things, let's hope I can still look at this sensibly then).

For you, you've been dieting hard trying to hit a certain number for awhile. You've adjusted that number, but you are still focused on a number. And maybe that number is the right place for you, but what if it's not? What if you are aiming for the wrong number - and stressing yourself out over nothing. Try focusing on the non-weight side of the equation. How does NoS feel to you? Does it feel like a good fit? How does the rule structure fit with your life? Does it feel sensible to you? Can you live this way forever? Do you like the feeling of not snacking all day and being hungry again for meals (or do you think you could grow to like them)? Don't worry about a number, worry about being a happier you. The number will settle where it is supposed to be.

[amake616]

Sorry, again for such a long and pathetic post. I can imagine you are all sick of me and the things I go on about. I just don't have much of an outlet for these feelings and I just want this way of eating/living to work for me and I know it's still early days but I would love to see some results already.

If you can't vent pretty much at will on the Internet there's no place on earth you can lol.

I'm gonna toss out a suggestion you can feel free to ignore (it's just a thought and no offense intended) but maybe you should give some thought to focusing on something besides your weight for a while. It might make it easier for you to cut yourself some slack (and thus relax and hopefully eventually take the weight off) and focus on all the other things about yourself you like, want to improve on, hope to do. Focus on makeup or your hair or amassing a killer collection of earrings (or whatever floats your boat) and learning how to cook five hundred versions of stir fry or how to speak Tagalog or everything there is to be read by a certain author or watching every Godzilla movie ever made or something (these are obviously just random suggestions)...for a lot of people, dwelling on something that makes you unhappy that is going to take a while to change can be self-defeating. You might be one of those people (obviously you know yourself better than I ever will) and maybe you would be happier and ultimately healthier if you actively forced yourself to think about and work on other things.

[gettheweightoff]

All amazing suggestions and it is true I have been focussed WAY too much on this and it is just because it's all I've ever known.

It's funny because with No-S it has made me look at what I really like to eat as opposed to what I think I should be eating (ultra healthy, low calorie etc.) and maybe now it's time to think about other things I like in life.

I love no-s and in many ways it has helped given me my life back. I know that this panick is part of my recovery actually from diet head and binge eating. The panick is good because it makes me realize that I don't have my security blanket of dieting and perhaps it is time to face the fact that I'm not 18 anymore and I just have to keep reminding myself that water finds its level and most importantly I feel great not snacking all the time, not binge eating, not worrying about every calorie etc. and not obsessed with food. It's really great so I have to concentrate on that more!

And I have not been drinking any water which I should do and something I did do regularly on other diets.

[NoSRocks]

hey Nicole ! (((((((((((((((((((((HUGS!!))))))))))))))))))

Just read your post and I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling today! You are NOT pathetic - you are just human! No one can be 100% or even 50% on plan eating wise 100% of the time! In fact it is very refreshing to hear from a poster who is not only at a similar stage/learning curve with No S not to mention who is very upfront and honest and not afraid of reaching out to others for guidance and support!

I agree with everything that the previous posters have said here, too.... if you can, please try to keep going with the No S plan and/or don't bother with those other diets. I know, it is indeed easier said than done and I have to admit that I have felt like throwing in the towel on more than one occasion. I'm also unhappy even with my N Days at the moment since I have not (for ME - emphasis on ME ) been making the 'best/most nutritions' choices YET (emphasis on YET) but taking it a day at a time, NOT weighing myself since I know I'll get discouraged; and just telling myself that if I don't keep on No S then what else do I have...other than trying some super-restrictive crash diet/rejoining some national slimming club and paying them my hard earned cash for the privilege or giving up on diets entirely. (Unfortunately, there is something inside me that won't let me give up on my body image goals entirely - I don't seem to be one of those 'lucky' people who CAN simply give it all up and just be fat and happy or even eat normally, whatever that means and thus starts up food/diet/weight panic, particularly if I see my weight going up or I feel I'm eating out of control.)
No S I find is tremendously helpful since it gives one the healthy balance of controlled eating throughout the week (if you want to refer to it like that) AND the wonderful option of eating what one wants TWO plus days of the week! Whilst i can't claim to be a psychology expert, from my own experience, those of us with eating problems, and in particular when starting out to address them - like - need - to have controlled eating in some shape or form, in particular to balance out those way out (bingeing days). How many times have I said (particularly after a binge session) "That's it! I'm starting a diet tomorrow! Never again will I eat a single chocolate, cake or chip in my life!" and how many times have I actually carried it through? I would be lucky if I lasted a few days never mind a life time without over-eating again! PLUS I just depressed myself for those days I set myself up for 'food/diet deprivation'!!!

Besides No S, I have YET to find another 'diet' or should I say eating plan that I can stick with long term and that has the potential to work for me - both mentally (the most important factor in my book) and physically. Any poundage lost at this stage, again in reference to myself - not wishing to be negative - will be an absolute bonus/wonderful side effect of the No S Plan! So all in all, I'd say keep going since you're doing great. Within the No S plan there is the potential to make improvements or "mods" as one feels necessary, but I wouldn't start too early or too quickly - this time I AM speaking from experience.

Sorry - I seem to have rambled on a bit here - I guess i am feeling pretty emotive about this subject!

Anyway - Hang in there Nicole!! We are ALL here for you and it's great to know that you are ALL here to help ME too. Believe me, I need it!!

[gettheweightoff]

I agree whole heartedly with what you have said here NOSROCKS.

I was feeling panicked but I never had nor do I have now any intention on trying another "diet". No S is it for me.

I am not going to worry about mods or trying to lose weight now -- I can't even believe I wrote that but it's true. I just want to get the habits down now and stop binge eating and start excercising. I believe the weight will find it's own set point once I stop bingeing over a significant amount of time.

I think I have to have faith and trust, in myself and in this system. I am feeling much better today and am proud that I have 11 days under my belt which is the longest I have gone on no-s this far.

Thanks to everyone who have been so supportive of me and have given me good honest advice. I hope I can be as helpful to anyone here if they need help.

[funfuture]

For what it's worth, I think this is really excellent advice...

I'm gonna toss out a suggestion you can feel free to ignore (it's just a thought and no offense intended) but maybe you should give some thought to focusing on something besides your weight for a while.

A member of my family has been having therapy for anxiety. One of the best tools she has been given is the ability to recognise an anxious feeling, trace back to the thought that triggered it, then replace the thought with something unrelated and positive. In other words - recognise you're feeling anxious, but if there is no immediate real threat or danger causing the anxiety, then go distract yourself by doing/thinking something else.

If your thoughts are making you feel bad, then don't entertain them. Switch from being a "victim" of your thoughts/circumstances, to taking control. This is something I've starting to use myself - and it does make a difference. If I'm feeling grumpy or judgmental or anxious, I have started to deliberately try to change the thought behind the feeling - and I'm finding it does work - and it gets easier with practice.

And keeping busy with stuff that you enjoy or find productive, is really worthwhile.

Again, just another 2c worth...[/quote]

[jellybeans01]

don't give up!! when things settle down again you can maybe work out some mods. When you are ready that is. I realized to get back into my before 3 babies clothes I had to make this diet work for me. It means one controlled s day a week and a good exercise program.

[Nicest of the Damned]

perhaps it is time to face the fact that I'm not 18 anymore

You're not 18 any more, and your body has changed since you were. There's no diet in the world that can change that. The only thing you can do about that is accept it, unfortunately.

[gettheweightoff]

I'm not expecting to have the body I had when I was 18, or even 30 but do I just throw my hands up in the air and give up entirely?

And even if I accept the way I am now which is incredibly difficult but I am definitely working very hard to let go of my "ideal" and accept it BUT I don't feel happy about gaining weight on no-s.

I have finally stopped dieting and I am working very hard not to succumb to my diet head ways but I still want to get just a few extra pounds off as I have definitely gained weight since doing no-s.

I'm just hoping it's temporary as I heal from all the diet crap I have put myself through and that my body and mind self adjust.

But accepting that I will always be like this is just depressing to me. I have been binge free for a mere 12 days. I am certain if I keep this up in a few months my weight will regulate a bit and a few pounds will come off at the very least. That's all I'm really looking for right now. I'm definitely not dillusional enough to think I'm going to have a 6 pack stomach (which I've never had, not even at 18, no muffin top etc. )

Like I said I'm happy to be binge free, to get out of diet mode and to just lose a few pounds and bloat.

[wosnes]

Have you considered that your body might be swinging wildly in the opposite direction to having been starved/binged for some time. It may need time to settle down.

I agree with this, too. Since that's been your way of life since you were 13, it may take longer than you would like for things to settle down.

Many of us either didn't lose or gained when we started.

[Kevin]

Then don't accept it. There's things you can do. You've just started this plan.

But give yourself some time. There really are people that gained weight on No-S before they started losing.

Plan, measure, re-plan, re-measure. But six weeks or so between adjustments. This isn't the end, it's just the beginning. You've got plenty of time.

And your kids love you anyway, so you've got that going for you already. :)

...
But accepting that I will always be like this is just depressing to me.
...

[Blithe Morning]

It gets better. It really does.

I do think whatever you can do to add in physical exertion and movement would help, not for the weight but for the stress and anxiety relief.

[gettheweightoff]

Thanks. I think that I finally figured out that I suffer from anxiety. I must have used my binge eating as a coping mechanism all these years which is why it really escalated when I had my son who had colic for 17 months and even now at two and a half he can be rather difficult because he too gets very anxious over things which my husband and I have often commented on but I never realized that he probably gets it from me. I couldn't feel the anxiety because I stuffed it down with food. I just talked to my mom about this today and she told me that it runs in our family over several generations. It would have been nice if she told me this earlier!

Also since no-s I have increased my coffee consumption because I use it as filler between my meals and to take the edge off my hunger but it is surely aggrivating my anxiety levels. Plus the extra 1000 - 15000 a week in calories consumed with the cream and milk is surely not helping the weight and in fact it's most likely the reason I have gained a bit over the past month and a half. I'm not counting calories actively but purely from an accounting perspective it's probably the culprit to the weight side of the equation.

I honestly felt like I was losing my mind since I stopped binge eating but now I realize that it is anxiety and I can do something about it.

I'm looking into some herbal remedies such as GABA and vitamin B supplementation.

Thanks to everyone who have hung in there with me and given me some great advice and support.

This has all been very enlightening. I feel like I"m getting a crash course in self development here but I think I am truly healing for the first time in my life. Once I could remove all the snacking and binge eating I can clearly see where my problems are.

Thanks for reading such a long post!

[Kevin]

This.

For me, walking is therapy as much as it is exercise. I swear sometimes my mind is in my legs. When I walk I solve tough work problems and put my personal issues in perspective. After you do it for a couple of weeks you realize that it's what you are supposed to do. Humans move.

It gets better. It really does.

I do think whatever you can do to add in physical exertion and movement would help, not for the weight but for the stress and anxiety relief.

[exdieter]

Hey there!

I actually suffer from clinical depression/anxiety, and have also realized how often I would snack to soothe myself! It's really crazy to figure out what to do with those feelings now that I don't have food to help quell them.

Two things that work really well (er, in addition to my therapy and medication) are exercise (even a 20 minute walk...just something to burn off the energy in the mind's "hamster wheel"), and also Vitamin B. I thought for sure the Vitamin B thing was bunk, but I bought GNC Mega Women's vitamins (which have a really high level), and holy cow, do they make a difference!

These are the ones I take: http://www.gnc.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4033450

Note: regular multivitamins do not have a high enough level of B vitamins. I think you need like 50mg of each... but can't remember the numbers off the top of my head.

[wosnes]

For me, walking is therapy as much as it is exercise. I swear sometimes my mind is in my legs. When I walk I solve tough work problems and put my personal issues in perspective. After you do it for a couple of weeks you realize that it's what you are supposed to do. Humans move.

I couldn't agree more. I've walked a lot since I was 12 -- wow, for 50 years now. A lot of it has been getting from point A to point B; a lot was at work; now a lot is walking the dog. It's beneficial in so many ways.

[wosnes]

Something just occurred to me. It could be that the anxiety is either preventing weight loss or aiding in weight gain. Stress/anxiety supposedly causes the release of hormones that can be responsible for that. That's also another reason to consider exercise, even just simple walking, because that releases endorphins.

I read your daily check in and I'm curious about something -- how tall are you and how much do you weigh? It was the size of the clothes you got rid of that made me wonder.

[Nicest of the Damned]

I just talked to my mom about this today and she told me that it runs in our family over several generations. It would have been nice if she told me this earlier!

Our parents' generation were told that mental illness was a shameful thing, something you didn't talk about, by the culture of the times they grew up in. Even if you know those attitudes are wrong, it still feels like a shameful thing, and something you don't want to talk about. It's probably hard for your mother to talk about mental illness in her family.

Also since no-s I have increased my coffee consumption because I use it as filler between my meals and to take the edge off my hunger but it is surely aggrivating my anxiety levels. Plus the extra 1000 - 15000 a week in calories consumed with the cream and milk is surely not helping the weight

Too much caffeine can certainly make anxiety worse.

I honestly felt like I was losing my mind since I stopped binge eating but now I realize that it is anxiety and I can do something about it.

I'm looking into some herbal remedies such as GABA and vitamin B supplementation.

Don't be afraid to see a psychiatrist or therapist, either. They can help you find some better ways to deal with your anxiety.

[gettheweightoff]

Thank you exdieter. I'm going to try that vitamin. Admittedly I don't take a multi and I should.

Wosnes, I am 5'2 . I don't weigh myself. My size 0 clothes are from when I was 109 lbs about four years ago and my size 2 clothes are from when I was about 117lbs when I got the weight off from my second pregnancy 3 years ago. I then gained 12 lbs and went to Weight Watchers where I got down to 119 before they changed the program and I just didn't like the new program and started to binge eat out of control and went up to about 135lbs.

So I know that it has nothing to do with metabolism because I lost 10lbs over 12 weeks on WW and got below 120 and would have easily got to my goal of 116lbs had I stuck with the program. I just don't want to count points for the rest of my life and go to meetings and feel bad and binge if I eat over my points range.

[Nicest of the Damned]

Wosnes, I am 5'2 . I don't weigh myself. My size 0 clothes are from when I was 109 lbs about four years ago and my size 2 clothes are from when I was about 117lbs when I got the weight off from my second pregnancy 3 years ago. I then gained 12 lbs and went to Weight Watchers where I got down to 119 before they changed the program and I just didn't like the new program and started to binge eat out of control and went up to about 135lbs.

I'm 2 inches taller than you. I don't have children. I would be absolutely delighted to weigh 135. That's my "maybe, someday, but maybe not, because the last time I weighed that was 12 years ago" goal.

[NoelFigart]

Oh goodness.


I'm 5'2". My fighting weight is 140. (I mean that quite literally. Lighter than that and I lost tournaments. Heavier and I didn't have the stamina to win).

I'm going to be very blunt. It is unlikely in the extreme that No-S alone is going to get you into a size 2. You CAN do it, but it will take calorie counting and lots of exercise. If that's what you want, I'm not gonna sneer, mind.

But it's REALLY important to understand what size you want to be and WHY. Think CAREFULLY about that. When you've given it a lot of thought, you'll have a clear idea of what to do and where to go with it.

[gettheweightoff]

I have said it over and over that I am not trying to be skinny any longer. I'm trying to accept myself the way that I am. To get back down to 114lbs I would have to starve myself and monitor every calorie. Ughh, I just don't have the mental capacity for it. Plus when I was around 109lbs my skin was very loose and it was actually kind of gross to be honest.

I just want to stop gaining on no-s and lose about 5-10 lbs (roughly, again I don't weigh myself) and not worry about dieting and this crap any longer.

I know that if I stick this out and add excercise a few pounds should naturally come off. Today makes 13 days without a binge for me and that is a real triumph for me. I am just happy I am not bingeing because that was pure hell!

[Nicest of the Damned]

I'm going to be very blunt. It is unlikely in the extreme that No-S alone is going to get you into a size 2. You CAN do it, but it will take calorie counting and lots of exercise.

I wasn't a size 2 when I weighed 135.

I think your goal weight and size might be a tad unrealistic. Have you talked to a doctor about what is a healthy weight for you?

My personal approach is to try to get to healthy eating habits, try to be what my doctor considers a reasonably healthy weight, and let the chips fall where they may, otherwise.

You might have to choose: do you want to be a size 2, or do you want to go through life not counting calories and points obsessively, and not binge eating? It may not be possible to have both. If it's one or the other, which one do you want?

[DaveMc]

Has any medical professional advised you to lose weight? I'd be fairly surprised if they had, at least for health reasons: according to the medical profession's favourite not-to-be-fully-trusted number, the BMI, you're right in the range of "normal", healthy weight. You used to be at the low end of the range, now you're at the upper end, but in terms of health implications, you're probably just fine. I'm *not* a medical professional, so you should ask one, but perhaps that's something to focus on. (My reluctance to slavishly follow the BMI chart's dictates is well known around here, but it's useful as a baseline to give you some idea of whether you're way overweight or not -- and you're not! At least, I doubt you are.)

I have to admit, the way you've talked about your relationship to eating in your posts, I was expecting to hear that you were 100 pounds overweight, or something. As I think some of your more recent posts have been saying, this is not really about food, or weight, is it? (EDIT: However, I shouldn't presume to know what's going on inside your head, given that I can't really tell what's going on in my own! Sorry about that.)

[wosnes]

I wasn't wondering about metabolism, I was wondering if your goals were realistic.

I'm just about an inch taller than you. Years ago (in my 20s) I weighed about 115 with no effort. I thought I looked good then, but about 10 years ago a friend saw pictures from that time and said that I looked terrible then -- emaciated. And I did.

I had my kids when I was in my early 30s and had no trouble getting the pregnancy weight off. As I got to my late 30s, 40s and early 50s, pounds were starting to creep up, though I really wasn't doing anything differently. I wasn't happy about it. I did go to weight watchers twice -- and couldn't stick with it for a week. Between the friend telling me how bad I looked in my 20s -- and then telling me that I looked great, I decided to take stock.

Yep, the numbers were higher than when I was in my 20s -- weight and clothing size. But I did look better -- healthier, more rested and not pinched in the face. When I thought about it, I felt better, too. A lot of the "feeling good" I was attributing to weighing less probably had more to do with youth than weight.

Now I'm very happy at 135-140. I could probably get down to 125 or even less, but it would a) take a lot more effort than I'm willing to put forth, and b) not be sustainable.

[Sienna]

Hi Nicole,

I have said it over and over that I am not trying to be skinny any longer. I'm trying to accept myself the way that I am. To get back down to 114lbs I would have to starve myself and monitor every calorie. Ughh, I just don't have the mental capacity for it. Plus when I was around 109lbs my skin was very loose and it was actually kind of gross to be honest.

I think the above is a good attitude and goal. I bet that once NoS has become more ingrained as your new normal, you'll find that your relationship with food and the stress is causes you will diminish greatly. And I think that that can be even more liberating than weight loss.

However, while you want to not worry about your weight, from your recent posts I wonder if you still are worrying, but are trying to tell yourself not to worry. And I think that's okay, normal even. It's really hard to have an immediate shift in how you think about everything.

Also, it might be comforting for you to know that where you are now is actually a good place to be. I know you are trying to get out of diet head and so you are probably trying to avoid some of the blood and guts numbers, but I think maybe putting your current weight in perspective may sort of help (I think it can be really easy to lose perspective when we focus too much on our own singular data point). And I intend this as encouragement - not criticism, I hope you take it as such.

While BMI is certainly not perfect by a long stretch, it can be a good tool to get a little perspective. The "normal" BMI range is 18-25, or for your height 102-136 lbs. The supposed "healthiest" BMI range for women is 22-23.5, or for your height 120-129 lbs. This means that right now, you are in or very near a great target weight range for an average 5'2 woman (as always, your personal physician can help determine the ideal target for you as an individual). That is excellent news! This can give you the freedom to truly not worry about the weight and focus on the habits and your relationship with food.

I do truly believe that ultimately on NoS your body will settle at a nice, healthy, natural weight for you. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen. So take heart.

Sources:
http://www.prevention.com/health/fitnes ... 0012281eac____
and if you want to check out the actual study: http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NE ... 0073411501.

[wosnes]

I know a lot of great physicians but I don't know one that I'd ask about ideal weight Most don't know much more about it than we do -- and some even less. They're as influenced by the media as we are.

[Sienna]

Well, one that just gives you a single ideal weight and then never follows up on it probably wouldn't be very useful, and that may be typical of most physicians these days. My current doctor (who isn't exactly stellar) hasn't even said anything to me about my weight - which is a little ridiculous since the last time I went my BMI was well into the obese category and it was obvious I had a lot to lose.

But I had a doctor a few years ago who had a fantastic bedside manner for addressing my weight. She explained that my BMI indicated that I was obese (I didn't want to hear it, but she was absolutely right). She suggested that instead of shooting for a specific number, I start by just trying to lose *some* weight and then when I started to get closer to the suggested weight range for my height, we would look more at my body composition and hone in on a healthy target for me. The idea was that I was *so* far off from ideal that it was hard to tell what would be good for *my* body to settle at. But that as I dropped weight, it would be easier to set a more exact goal. I never really lost weight while I was seeing her, but that was mostly because I wasn't ready to make real changes in my eating. Now that I'm almost not obese anymore, I wish I could go back to her for a check up and to talk about my ideal weight.

I think I'm due for a checkup in a few months. I wonder if my current doctor will comment at all on my weight loss? I don't think I'd ask him about my ideal weight though...

[kccc]

She suggested that instead of shooting for a specific number, I start by just trying to lose *some* weight and then when I started to get closer to the suggested weight range for my height, we would look more at my body composition and hone in on a healthy target for me. The idea was that I was *so* far off from ideal that it was hard to tell what would be good for *my* body to settle at. But that as I dropped weight, it would be easier to set a more exact goal.

One of the positive things about Weight Watchers (in my book) is that they had you set 10% goals if you were pretty far out of range. You just were to lose 10% of your current weight as your first goal. Then another 10% (which would be less, btw - that was encouraging). And so forth, until 10% would put you into your BMI range. Then, and only then, could you pick a target.

I liked that. It offers achievable goals that DO make a difference in terms of health. And cutting the overall goal into chunks you can get your head around makes so much sense!

[Sienna]

One of the positive things about Weight Watchers (in my book) is that they had you set 10% goals if you were pretty far out of range. You just were to lose 10% of your current weight as your first goal. Then another 10% (which would be less, btw - that was encouraging). And so forth, until 10% would put you into your BMI range. Then, and only then, could you pick a target.

I never knew WW did that (never followed it myself). Apparently I *do* follow at least one little piece of WW advice!

And I agree that having little goals along the way makes the whole thing feel more manageable.

[NoSRocks]

Just my 2 cents..... regarding the weight issue. Not claiming to speak on behalf of anyone else here but from my own experience: when I was younger, I weighed at least 45 - 50 lbs less than I do now. However, when I started to see a pound or two creep on, I panicked and started dieting to lose those extra pounds.
The moral of this short tale being that it didn't matter whether I weighed 120 or 220 lbs - I HAD GAINED WEIGHT and was not used to weighing "x" no of pounds. To my family and friends, that weight gain might sound minimal or in some of their opinions, take me up to a healthier "ideal" weight for my height and build, but for ME personally I didn't like the weight gain - it took me by surprise and I got anxious that the weight gain might not stop.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is if one is unhappy with their weight, regardless of what it is, and wants to lose some, then they have to make that decision for themself at the end of the day.

[funfuture]

Hi Gettingtheweightoff,
I just wanted to congratulate you on your 13 days of not bingeing. That really is a big achievement. And it is one of the main points of NoS.

I've really appreciated this discussion because it has made me review my goal. At 5' 4" I thought I should be down around 57/58kg (125-129) which is bang in the middle of the healthy BMI suggested for my height, but I suspect that would be very very difficult for me to achieve. In fact, as an adult, I've only achieved it once, when I starved myself at Jenny Craig. And while I liked the way I looked in clothes (jeans), I hated my drawn pinched face and the way I lost my curves (too much info, I know, but my breasts deflated and looked like pancakes). What threw me from that diet was that I asked to go off it when I reached 57kg (125/6 lbs) and my "personal counsellor" insisted I keep going and try to reach 53kg (116). I just didn't want to do it. I told her I wanted a plan to maintain my weight around 60-62kg (132-136). I was sent to see another counsellor after that. But she too treated it as a failure of willpower and motivation on my part. They just wouldn't listen. I'd forgotten that till this discussion.

These days (post-menopausal, sedentary job, etc,) I'll be thrilled if I get to 135 and it's maintainable.

[FarmerHal]

It is going to take some self acceptance (of the way you are now) to move on and let go of some of that anxiety. Also, knock off the coffee's Full-caff sends my anxiety through the roof! and I'm a mess for hours. (I also have clinical depression). Switching to decaf (after 4 days of caffiene withdrawals, ouch!) has majorly helped. I still get that wonderful rich coffee flavor and no anxiety with it.
I do think I should cut down to 1 or 2 a day though, but anyway.

I am "very obese" according to BMI charts. Last month I had extensive bloodwork done. I am VERY healthy. So healthy that both the nurse and my doctor were very surprised, given my outward appearance, she had guessed at high cholestorol, high triglicerides, high blood pressure or diabetes. nope. All excellent! This has definitely helped me accept myself the way I am. I do not LIKE being obese, but I ahve been this size the last 13 years. My family loves me, my dh loves me, my kiddos love me, my dogs adore me. I am smart, strong, resourceful, dedicated... being overweight does not define me, and it shouldn't define you either.

here's what I think you should do. Throw away the scale. Vanilla noS (3 meals a day). Check those portion sizes! Be sure you're getting enough veggies, they help a bunch, not only helping you fill up but providing you with tons and tons of wonderful nutrients. Switch to decaf. Take a walk daily (do you have a dog? I have a wild puppy, so I HAVE to walk daily or something gets destroyed! LOL). Deeeeep breaths when anxiety hits you.

I think this is a bit of a rambly post, but please don't beat yourself up with all that meanness. You are a special, important person despite outward appearances. Accept you as you are and then noS gets much better, imho.

Hope this makes sense

[funfuture]

It did to me, Shamrock.

[Blithe Morning]

Tiffani,

So glad to see you on the boards. I'm glad hubby is back home, too. It sounds like you have a lot of good things going on in your life.

[wosnes]

Did anyone happen to see Oprah yesterday with Susan Lucci? They showed pictures of her from when she started on AMC through the present. She definitely weighed more when she started than she does now -- and it reminded me of the reverse of my situation.

I remember seeing her on Dancing with the Stars and thinking that she needed to gain some weight. Though she looked better yesterday than she did on DWTS, she still doesn't look as "good" as she did 40 years ago -- age taken into consideration.

[NoSRocks]

Hey Tiffani! I really liked your post - not rambly at all and it made LOTS of sense not only too me but I'm sure many others can identify with this too.

My husband for example is a prime example of someone who - according to the BMI charts would be considered clinically obese. However, he is very active - plays baseball several times a week and football when the weather is suitable. He doesn't over-indulge in sweet foods nor snack inbetween meals and the last time he got a physical (January 2011), he was in top physical health. The Dr. did, however, express concern for the first time about his weight which seems to have climbed up by 10 - 15 lbs this past 6 months or so, but even the doctor admitted that DH did not look his weight. He is for the record, height-wise - small for a man - under 6 feet tall and approx. 260 lbs last time he weighed. Perhaps being male (and I apologize for any unintentional stereotyping here), he appears muscular and large boned rather than overweight. If anything, he tends to show in his stomach area - which according to the medical books etc. makes him prone to heart trouble/heart attacks, particularly now he is well into his 40s, but overall his health seems to be just fine at the moment.

According to medical books, if I were to consider my BMI , I'd come under the overweight category and I believe my ideal weight range is something like 121 lbs - 155 lbs. (just off the top of my head but I think I've guestimated fairly accurately ). Well at 5'7", and late forties, I think 121 lbs is very, very low and totally unsustainable! I don't think I was that weight even as a teenager!! As I've been saying recently, I am happy to be following the No S Plan regardless of weight and if I do lose anything - or indeed stop the weight GAIN - it will just be another wonderful added bonus of No S!!