Help?

ImprisonedBeauty · Post by **ImprisonedBeauty** » Mon May 09, 2011 10:29 pm

This is my third month on No S, and I've already failed three times... I failed eight times last month, and five times the month before. I feel like I'm getting worse instead of better. I don't have a problem with no seconds as I was never much of a seconds-taker. It's the snacks and sweets that get me. As an effortlessly skinny teen, I would eat all sorts of junk all the time... I would go buy frosting and cake mix at the store, then dump the cake mix and eat the frosting right out of the container... I would secretly take brown sugar or confectioners' sugar from the cupboard and eat it straight several spoonfuls at a time... I would buy a big bag of candy and eat it all in one sitting.

Now ten years later that has all caught up with me, and it's so hard to fight it. I must be severely addicted to sugar. I think I've mostly gotten past the N Day random cravings and I usually have a glass of apple juice in the afternoon to get some sort of sugar in me which helps, but as soon as even the tiniest unhappy emotion hits me I'm like 'screw this, I'm going to have a sweet to make myself feel better' and I'm an emotionally sensitive person, so it happens a lot. I know very well that I should do one of many other things I could do instead of eat a sweet, but as soon as the thought of a sweet enters my head it just takes over and I go right for it. On top of that, my S days are still terrible. I ate like seven times this past Sunday.... aside from my three meals one was a snack of chips and salsa and the other three were one whoopie pie each. I ate three whoopie pies in one day, how disgusting is that.

I just can't shake the feeling that those are my only two days to eat snacks and sweets so I have to cram in as much as I can. It's like I've lost all self control. It's like the novelty of this lifestyle has worn off and my subconscious refuses to continue, though consciously I refuse to quit. It's so simple to just not eat any snacks or sweets, so why can't I just do it!? What is wrong with me? What am I missing? I don't know what to do and I have no one to talk to. I don't have very much support... my husband is one of those people that could eat a horse and not gain a pound, I had to tell him to stop bringing ice cream into our home because it was constantly tempting me into failure, and everyone else either doesn't know or doesn't understand or doesn't care. Sorry for the emo post, I'm just tired of struggling and getting nowhere!

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Mon May 09, 2011 10:51 pm

I recommend that you start over and set a plan that you can succeed at. Instead of trying to give up all the S's at once, give up one. For example, give up sweets and nothing else. Do not worry about the snacks and seconds until you have the sweets under control. Give yourself a green for every day with no sweets. Still make your weekends rule free.

Do this for 3 weeks then give up the second S and then 3 more weeks and give up the 3rd S.

Do not worry about your weight right now. Stay away from the scale if you can.

At the same time, try to exercise 15 minutes a day 5 days a week. Make it something you enjoy and something you can do no matter what. Yoga, walking, weights, etc.

Be patient. If you do not put in the groundwork to establish new behaviors, you will not succeed. Succeeding very slowly is better than continuing as you are.

They say that it takes 21 days to even start to establish a new behavior.

I am impressed that you have stuck with it this long in spite of frustrating failures. It shows that you want this badly enough to perservere. Good Luck!!

Thalia · Post by **Thalia** » Mon May 09, 2011 11:03 pm

I think that's great advice. I'd also try to cut down sweets, rather than eliminating them all at once, because they seem to be very, very difficult for you. Maybe one sweet per day, immediately after dinner, before leaving the table (so it's part of the meal, not an invitation to a free-for-all)? Would that make it easier to say "No, I'm not going to eat this now, because I'm allowed to have it after dinner"?

Also, maybe try to make sure that the food you have at meals is really satisfying -- nothing that feels or tastes "diety." So that you don't feel any more deprivation than you need to.

ImprisonedBeauty · Post by **ImprisonedBeauty** » Tue May 10, 2011 1:29 am

That all sounds good. I think I'm going to take a day to relax and regroup, then I'll come back with a plan and take it much slower this time. Thank you so much for the sound advice, r.jean and Thalia!

SkyKitty · Post by **SkyKitty** » Tue May 10, 2011 6:35 am

Look at your failures another way.

That's only 8 times last month that you had snacks, sweets or seconds on weekdays, and only 5 times the month before. From the sound of it thats a considerable improvement on your eating habits, especially with sugar, in the past.

Congratulate yourself on every single success day, tell yourself how well you've done and maybe your own praise will start to become a motivation in itself for resisting temptation.

ImprisonedBeauty · Post by **ImprisonedBeauty** » Tue May 10, 2011 12:36 pm

Thank you, SkyKitty! (love that name by the way) I know I can be too hard on myself, it's the perfectionist in me. That is something I will need to work on.

cjgoodson2 · Post by **cjgoodson2** » Tue May 10, 2011 10:49 pm

Sit down and write why you ate what you did, and how you felt after it. Usually you'll feel pretty guilty. You have to remember...it's only food. Eating the bad food will do nothing good for you except taste good for like 2 minutes...then what? It's all gone, you feel guilty, probably over stuffed and again... another failure. I learned to really think about what I am eating and my reasons for doing so. Writing things down after my failures have helped a bunch. I have faith that you can get through this! These are just some things that helped me get passed the cravings I've had. Good luck!

ImprisonedBeauty · Post by **ImprisonedBeauty** » Wed May 11, 2011 1:13 pm

Thank you, cjgoodson2! I'll definitely try a food/failure journal.

Who Me? · Post by **Who Me?** » Wed May 11, 2011 2:07 pm

Why don't you keep a SUCCESS journal? A much happier endeavor!

ImprisonedBeauty · Post by **ImprisonedBeauty** » Wed May 11, 2011 4:59 pm

Who Me? wrote:Why don't you keep a SUCCESS journal? A much happier endeavor!

That's what HabitCal and these forums are for!

Who Me? · Post by **Who Me?** » Wed May 11, 2011 5:34 pm

imprisonedbeauty wrote:I'll definitely try a food/failure journal.

Approach this in a happy way, that's all I'm saying. Don't get stuck on the failures.

ImprisonedBeauty · Post by **ImprisonedBeauty** » Wed May 11, 2011 8:49 pm

Oh! Yes, of course. It will be a tool for learning, not brooding. Perhaps I shall call it my progress journal instead. Thanks for the tip!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed May 11, 2011 11:02 pm

Just want to tell you that I went through many periods of my life eating very similarly to you and thinking I just could not imagine stopping. I would sometimes diet, and for awhile the urges would go away, but like you, if the thought of a food came in my mind, I would just go get it. I had actually given up getting guilty about quite a long time ago, but I would still feel uncomfortable from the food. When I really got that this behavior would not go away on its own, that it would probably get worse, that every time I did it I reinforced the habit and even more so when I would restrict and then binge (it's true - it gets even stronger then), I got the motivation to commit to a year of No S. I'm telling you, I was scared, though. Weekdays got relatively easy pretty quickly, though I've had my failures. But weekends were relative busts for 15 months! It's only in the past month that I've finally been able to rein myself in at all. I've finally had at least one day each weekend that I can go hours without a snack or a sweet and I've discovered I'm truly happier than feeling too full too much of the time. That's when you know you're winning. Fifteen months may sound like a long time to wait, but what's the alternative? I doubt I would have been able to stick to anything else longer. I'd been eating crappy except for short stints for 40 years. I really don't see myself getting worse at this.

Keep up with us, or write any of us privately.

ImprisonedBeauty · Post by **ImprisonedBeauty** » Fri May 13, 2011 11:47 pm

oolala - Wow, good for you sticking with it for so long and finding some success. I needed to hear that, I feel a lot more optimistic knowing that others have had problems on a similar scale as mine and gone on to succeed.

Thank you for the support!

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Fri May 20, 2011 2:34 am

Hi Hon! (((((hugs)))))))))) just wanted to pop in and say I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. I, too, am having quite a hard time avoiding the sweets, particularly after dinner. I think that I may be suffering withdrawal symptoms from my vacation last week.

Great advice from the others, btw! I shall have to take a proper look later on but from what I read, these sound very good suggestions.

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Fri May 20, 2011 1:17 pm

We all struggle.
You haven't failed until you stop trying.

ImprisonedBeauty · Post by **ImprisonedBeauty** » Sun May 22, 2011 4:33 pm

NoSRocks! (((((HUGS))))) Hi! I'm sorry to hear you're having a bit of a hard time yourself. I bet vacations make it hard (I have three planned vacations this summer and I'm a little worried about how they will affect me.) but I know you can get through it!

BrightAngel, thank you for the kind words. It's always nice to hear I'm not alone. And I am proud that I never did quit.

I am doing much better now... Thanks for the support everyone! â™¥

Grammy G · Post by **Grammy G** » Sun May 22, 2011 7:23 pm

So many of us have the same struggles as you! I have quit...walked away..returned.. several times. I know this plan makes sense and I know everyone is here to help me..why do I walk away?

I sure don't know! The answers are here for the taking! Free!! 24/7 !! Addressing the problems you are having is the best thing.. look how many people jumped in with good advice!
Here is my 2 cents; baby-steps! I have discovered that making one little change for 21 days and then evaluating where I am at that point works best for me. One of my discoveries was that I need to get myself out of the kitchen ASAP after dinner...another that I approach S days with a healthier attitude if I plan to do something physical at some point during the day. For some reason, participating in the silly monthly challenges really helps me stay focused.. give it a try in June!
You said you had a vacation or two coming up... look 'way back into my posts and you will find so many great suggestions given to me last year. I used at least three full time and they really helped.
Post everyday...write several times a day, if that helps! We are all in this together!

Strawberry Roan · Post by **Strawberry Roan** » Sun May 22, 2011 7:43 pm

If you were a failure 8 times in a 30 day month,

doesn't that mean you were a success 22 times?

ImprisonedBeauty · Post by **ImprisonedBeauty** » Wed May 25, 2011 1:53 pm

Why yes, yes it does.

I would have just liked to have been a success more than that... but I'm getting there now!