HELP, need encouragement

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:16 am

I started Friday, June 10 and my first "S" weekend went pretty well, I stayed with my 3 squares and on Sunday allowed myself a special treat...all week I stayed with my 3 squares and did really well looking forward to this weekends S days.

I love tuna noodle casserole and never make it because I always binge on it, but I thought okay, I'll make it and allow for seconds, well the rest of the night was history. Oh ya and I allowed for a special dessert...which turned into 3...I won't mention other things.

Today is a new day and I know S days are never considered failures, but what if you totally all out binged like an animal? I feel like a failure.

Not that binging even makes ones feel better in the long run. I actually enjoy healthy eating and embracing the no s way.

Did anyone go thru this? I know the book says so but to the extent I did yesterday?

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:29 am

I think nearly everyone has gone through this. There are extremely few people who have had moderate S days continuously from the beginning. Don't worry about it. The S days will moderate over time.

No matter if you binged, your S day is still not a failure. Don't start making modifications to make your S days more "successful." I'd recommend waiting six months to a year before making any modifications.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:30 am

Hi Deb - lots of us go through this - some of us for quite a long time unfortunatley

But you can't fail on an S day, so don't beat yourself up. That will be counter productive in the long run.

Have you read the 'phases of No S' sticky? It's very useful for putting the whole No S process into perspective.

Good luck

Blithe Morning · Post by **Blithe Morning** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 12:10 pm

First of all, you are not binging because of lack of self control and weakness, you are binging because of a complex interaction of habit, brain chemistry, and external cues that signal you to overeat. This interaction can be overcome, but it's harder to do and takes longer to change than most of us realize.

Don't beat yourself up about this. Many here have found that strict vanilla No S during the week will eventually help. Your age, hardwiring, and length of time you've been overeating will all factor in how long it takes to change your behavior but it will change. You can do this!

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 12:50 pm

Blithe Morning wrote:First of all, you are not binging because of lack of self control and weakness, you are binging because of a complex interaction of habit, brain chemistry, and external cues that signal you to overeat. This interaction can be overcome, but it's harder to do and takes longer to change than most of us realize.

Don't beat yourself up about this. Many here have found that strict vanilla No S during the week will eventually help. Your age, hardwiring, and length of time you've been overeating will all factor in how long it takes to change your behavior but it will change. You can do this!

Something else: Overeating has become the norm in our society. It's not generally frowned upon, it's encouraged. In many cultures, even now, overeating is not only frowned upon, it's considered rude.

Much of it is very subtle: from McDonald's Super Sizing and "you deserve a break today," to Taco Bell's Fourth Meal to oversized plates, glasses and even flatware.

Some of my daughter's flatware got mixed in with mine and I was amazed at how much larger hers is. Her teaspoons are the size of my soup spoons. Her soup spoons are the size of my serving spoons. My dinner forks are the size of her salad forks. Mine almost seems dainty in comparison to hers.

Actually, when she moved she left her flatware with me and bought new for herself. A couple of months later she was hosting Thanksgiving and asked me to bring some serving pieces. I grabbed some of mine and some of her soup spoons. When I pulled them out of the bag, she said, "I didn't remember that I had serving spoons with that set." I told her she didn't -- that they were the soup spoons. She was astounded!

I used to have a set of dinnerware that was more decently proportioned, especially bowls. The soup/cereal bowls held a little more than a cup. Those I have now hold over 3 cups. If I put an actual serving in them, they look empty. There were fruit/dessert bowls that held about 1/2 cup.

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 2:18 pm

GREAT advice from everyone here! I can't really say more than that other than not to get discouraged because you can't EVER fail on an S Day. I am not the best person to give advice since I am still working on my S Days and I occasionally have little 'break outs' i.e. chopping and changing sessions/second guessing myself and trying different ways to lose weight -just causing myself unnecessary stress! Don't listen to me though - cos I know I'm just wasting my time on those other plans and No S is indeed the most stress-free, sane way of eating for life.

Good luck to you!!

DaveMc · Post by **DaveMc** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 2:35 pm

debrabuf wrote:Did anyone go thru this? I know the book says so but to the extent I did yesterday?

Welcome! You're doing fine.

As we like to joke around here, there are two kinds of NoS-ers:

1. People who admit that they've had some hugely over-the-top S days; and
2. Liars.

Like many have said, it takes a while for S days to become more moderate. S days are what let people stick with NoS for the long term, and if some "crazy" S days at the start are the price for establishing good, consistent, sustainable N day habits, then that's a good trade-off in the long run. Eventually you'll be used to eating less in general, and your S days will (probably) get more moderate over time. (This can take many months, though, so don't get discouraged if it's not instant! If you're still having huge S day binges a few months from now, you might need to revisit the issue, but for now, N days have to be the main focus: getting those down pat is the key to long-term success.)

Clarica · Post by **Clarica** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 2:46 pm

Habit takes energy. In the beginning, habit takes mental energy, to remember to be "good". A person has a finite amount of mental energy to spend on being virtuous. Once you cross over the line from consciously "being good" to just having the habit, you aren't using as much energy on it day to day, and it becomes easier.

Also, it helped me to try and move towards thinking about it as mostly "allowing" myself to eat the right mount of food, instead of denying myself excess. To feel treated by eating right. Because going through most of your week thinking of what you're doing as some sort of self-imposed suffering for the benefit of your future self gets wearing. (especially if your calorie deficit is high enough to cause gnawing hunger often, but that's another story.) Thinking of what you're doing as being itself rewarding, instead of for some delayed gratification, is what I mean. Months can go by without getting there, but it helps to keep this idea in mind, so as to reject mental bargaining about when you get to eat the "good" stuff.

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 6:06 pm

Thank you so much everyone...today I'm getting past the beating myself and still having an S day. It is freeing to know that I can forgive myself and look to make better choices. As hard as it might seem at times, I know it will work out..

I'm enjoying not logging my food into the computer anymore, yesterday was my first day not to and today as well. I will write down what I eat just because

. Eventually I'll put the pad and pen down..

Thankssss again!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 6:59 pm

Hey, deb, isn't it great to have so many other voices telling you this stuff about No S besides me? I know you love me, but I know it helps to have lots of people tell you to relax. I don't know how long you're willing to give yourself, but it's taken me 15 MONTHS to have wild S days subside with not much effort from me. I'd bet there are people who have dropped out of No S because of this issue, though that's denied in the book-- out of innocence, I'd say, rather than deception. But I think they needed more N days than they thought! I'd also be willing to bet that the majority of them are still struggling with eating issues, though modesty forces me to admit that a few might have found a "diet" that has solved all their problems. But the odds are against it, and I'd also bet a few of them are going to come crawling back!

I'm going to add that I say you should consider not keeping certain foods for S days because they have been binge foods. I did something akin to that for a long time and I believe now it was a mistake. You are at the beginning of this journey. Go ahead and have a big portion of tuna casserole during the week, and then resolve to hang on for the roller coaster of desire to go back for seconds or eat more it later that day. Just bite the bullet and wait your 4 or 5 hours to the next meal. You might even decide to have it again at dinner! Make that an N day lesson. Don't heap that pressure on S days. You will find that it gets easier to eat those foods and eventually be satisfied-no, elated!- with moderate portions of them. Or later you can decide to have them only on weekends. Or it just may work out that you have them less often and only on weekends. Food choices will evolve as you go!

ginmarie · Post by **ginmarie** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:54 pm

debrabuf wrote:
Did anyone go thru this? I know the book says so but to the extent I did yesterday?

Yup! The first weekend not so much, but my second weekend - hoo boy! I'm on my 5th weekend now and the difference is nothing short of amazing. Hang in there and stay the course during the week and I think you'll find the weekends getting easier to manage. Something changes in your head and suddenly it's not about making it to the weekend anymore, yum yum yum. LOL, instead it's about maintaining the good feeling of being healthy even on the weekend. At least that is how it's been for me. Go, go, go! You can do it! Rah - Rah - Rah! There now you've officially been cheered on.

daintycow · Post by **daintycow** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 3:38 am

Wow!!! I am so glad that you posted this. I have had a pretty bad week. I got sick and all I wanted on Thursday was ice cream. I know that sick days are considered "S" Days but hey, four big bowls of ice cream????? Then today was pretty good until I found some chocolate candy and taffy later in the afternoon- Then.....it was all over. I think I ate enough to supply and entire parade with candy. Ok, so here 's the question:

Do I try to limit/abstain from chocolate candy on my S days? I have no other way of being in control on these days. THis is a HUGE trigger for me.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 5:04 am

Daintycow, unless you have had several months of mostly green weeks, the answer is NO. With all due respect, I can hear the desperation in your post and you've got to chill! Four big bowls of ice cream? You say that as if it's an impossibly huge amount of food. Real bingers eat that before breakfast! Okay, I don't want to start a war over who a real binger is and who isn't. I'm being a little silly to try to emphasize that just as cravings, hunger, and urges to eat are not emergencies (stolen from author Judith Beck), neither is overeating all of sudden. Give yourself the time to heal.

I'm going to quote a brilliant previous poster: "First of all, you are not binging because of lack of self control and weakness, you are binging because of a COMPLEX INTERACTION OF HABIT, BRAIN CHEMISTRY, AND EXTERNAL CUES THAT SIGNAL YOU TO EAT. This interaction can be overcome, but it's harder to do and TAKES LONGER TO CHANGE THAN MOST OF US REALIZE.

Don't beat yourself up about this. Many here have found that strict vanilla No S during the week will eventually help. YOUR AGE, HARDWIRING, AND LENGTH OF TIME YOU'VE BEEN OVEREATING WILL ALL FACTOR IN HOW LONG IT TAKES TO CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR, BUT IT WILL CHANGE. "

I speak from experience. I ate 1,000 to 2,000 calories' worth of chocolate/sweets/junk (as well as real food/meals) most days for YEARS, with a few bouts of exception. You are very unlikely to stop overeating chocolate in a few weeks. Try to be grateful for the decrease. If you are compliant on N days, realize how much less you are overeating. It is also very unlikely that your overeating will get worse over the long run, although it may get a little worse before it gets better. Respect the odds! They are in your favor! Think of yourself as the house and the house always wins. I wish I could direct you to all the posts of people regretting modifying ANYTHING (what they realized later was) prematurely.

Lastly, not to be mean about it, but if you were good at imposing strict limits on overeating sweets before, you would have been able to stick to a diet before and make it a long-term lifestyle change. (If you really analyze what people are eating after a year of compliance, it is about the amount of food recommend by many diets in the maintenance phase. You just get there by food attrition, not calorie imposition.) It probably took too much mental energy and skill then --no offense--, and it's likely to take too much now. Use any reserve of willpower and fortitude to establish and strengthen your habit of moderation, and likely your confidence to stick to limits if you do choose to impose them, with MONTHS of green N days. And vow to find something else to think about and do on S days or declared NWS days. That is also what you're going to end up doing in the end, too.

Pinkcupcakes · Post by **Pinkcupcakes** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 9:15 am

HIya

Im a newbie and just had my first No S Weekend, it conicided with my local food festival. So needless to say I did totally overeat this weekend, cheese, cakes fudge - you name it! Although not ideal I dont feel guilty as I am back on the No S straight an narrow today, and I KNOW that if I was following any other diet I would feel such a failure that the overeating would continue much longer.

Im confident that as the weeks go on overeating will lessen at weekends as we break the association eating as being of being 'good' or 'bad'. once this has fully gone (and I only think this will take a few weeks) the S days will be more controlled. For me personally I tend to binge as a punishment to myself for 'breaking the rules' - this is why the No S Diet is so perfect as its breaking my 'all or nothing attitude'.

Dont stress about the weekend, draw a line under it, get back into No Sing and feel positive in the fact that you are heading in the right direction!!

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:08 pm

What happens with S days becoming more moderate is, you get used to not eating snacks or sweets, and only having one plate of food at meals. The idea of having a snack, taking seconds, or eating sweets after a meal just doesn't occur to you a lot of the time.

This is not going to happen right away, and it's not something you can do anything to make it happen that way. You'll probably first notice it after it happens- you'll think back on an S day, and think, "Hey, I didn't have any snacks that day".

SpiritSong · Post by **SpiritSong** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 2:51 pm

Clarica wrote:Habit takes energy. In the beginning, habit takes mental energy, to remember to be "good". A person has a finite amount of mental energy to spend on being virtuous. Once you cross over the line from consciously "being good" to just having the habit, you aren't using as much energy on it day to day, and it becomes easier.

Also, it helped me to try and move towards thinking about it as mostly "allowing" myself to eat the right mount of food, instead of denying myself excess. To feel treated by eating right. Because going through most of your week thinking of what you're doing as some sort of self-imposed suffering for the benefit of your future self gets wearing. (especially if your calorie deficit is high enough to cause gnawing hunger often, but that's another story.) Thinking of what you're doing as being itself rewarding, instead of for some delayed gratification, is what I mean. Months can go by without getting there, but it helps to keep this idea in mind, so as to reject mental bargaining about when you get to eat the "good" stuff.

Love. You.

(Hmm, that's somewhat inappropriate. How about a big "THIS!" instead?)

Clarica · Post by **Clarica** » Mon Jun 20, 2011 3:49 pm

aw, shucks. thanks!

daintycow · Post by **daintycow** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:40 am

@ oolala53

Go ahead and rattle my cage a little more!!!! I get what you are saying- so I'll stop wringing my hands and get some hair on my chest. I don't consider myself a binge eater by any means. I am coming into all of this after 8 weeks of failing at WW and getting the stinkeye from the leader each week when I didn't lose or track properly. Four bowls of ice cream is HUGE in that world.

But- I'm not making myself a part of that world anymore. Anyway- I'll test the system.

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 10:00 am

debrabuf wrote:
I love tuna noodle casserole and never make it because I always binge on it, but I thought okay, I'll make it and allow for seconds, well the rest of the night was history. Oh ya and I allowed for a special dessert...which turned into 3...I won't mention other things.

I love tuna noodle casserole, too. One thing nice about No-S is that it doesn't say what needs to be on your plate. If you want to eat a plateful of tuna casserole and nothing else, that's perfectly all right. Maybe not the best choice and something that probably shouldn't be done daily, but perfectly in line with the rules of No-S.

Then again, maybe it's a new diet -- the tuna noodle casserole diet! Eat nothing but tuna noodle casserole and lose weight!

But seriously, there are a few things that when I have them, that's all I want. No salad or other vegetable (unless they happen to be in the dish), no fruit -- just the main dish. And that's exactly what I'll have. It can be difficult to finish a plateful of just one thing, no matter how much you like it and might tend to binge on it.

Similarly, on No-S snacks, with the exception of sweets, aren't what is eaten, but when food is consumed. If I want chips or fries with a meal -- no problem. On occasion I have made a meal out of snack or appetizer type foods. Again, maybe not the best choice, but still within the rules of No-S.

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:35 pm

wosnes wrote:
debrabuf wrote:
I love tuna noodle casserole and never make it because I always binge on it, but I thought okay, I'll make it and allow for seconds, well the rest of the night was history. Oh ya and I allowed for a special dessert...which turned into 3...I won't mention other things.
I love tuna noodle casserole, too. One thing nice about No-S is that it doesn't say what needs to be on your plate. If you want to eat a plateful of tuna casserole and nothing else, that's perfectly all right. Maybe not the best choice and something that probably shouldn't be done daily, but perfectly in line with the rules of No-S.

No-S isn't about always making the best possible choices. That probably isn't humanly possible. We make so many food choices in a day (Brian Wansink estimates over 250 per person per day, not all of them conscious), and you have a finite supply of willpower. If you try to make every choice be diet-book perfect, you're going to fail. You're setting yourself up to fail, by demanding perfection. I'm not a binge eater, but my understanding is that feeling bad about yourself can be a trigger for a binge.

The idea behind No S is that you automate some of those food choices into good habits, habits like not eating between meals. You know that you're not supposed to snack, so you don't have to think very much when an opportunity to snack comes up. But, and this comes back to the finite willpower, you can only work on so many habits at once. You've probably, at some time in the past, made sweeping New Year's resolutions to change everything about your life that you weren't happy with, and found you were back in pretty much your old ways by February 1. It just doesn't work to try to change everything at once.

You're just starting to make your No S habits. Don't worry about what's on those three plates yet. Don't send your willpower running after a lot of bad habits at once- that will just exhaust it and you'll end up accomplishing nothing. Work on the three No S habits for now. Don't worry about anything you do on S days. Don't worry about how healthy the food on your plates is. Work on establishing the No S habits, then, when those seem natural to you (this will take at least a month), you can try working on other things.

SkyKitty · Post by **SkyKitty** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 9:21 pm

I totally agree with NofD. I'm about 6 weeks into No S and for roughly the first 4 I didn't worry at all about what my 3 plates a day consisted of, I conserved my energy for the battle of getting the habits in place. Now those habits are in place, and it just doesn't even feel right to have snacks, sweets or seconds, on No days, only now am I starting to look at my plates and really consider portion size and nutrition on them.

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:56 am

Nicest of the Damned wrote:
wosnes wrote:
debrabuf wrote:
I love tuna noodle casserole and never make it because I always binge on it, but I thought okay, I'll make it and allow for seconds, well the rest of the night was history. Oh ya and I allowed for a special dessert...which turned into 3...I won't mention other things.
I love tuna noodle casserole, too. One thing nice about No-S is that it doesn't say what needs to be on your plate. If you want to eat a plateful of tuna casserole and nothing else, that's perfectly all right. Maybe not the best choice and something that probably shouldn't be done daily, but perfectly in line with the rules of No-S.
No-S isn't about always making the best possible choices. That probably isn't humanly possible. We make so many food choices in a day (Brian Wansink estimates over 250 per person per day, not all of them conscious), and you have a finite supply of willpower. If you try to make every choice be diet-book perfect, you're going to fail. You're setting yourself up to fail, by demanding perfection. I'm not a binge eater, but my understanding is that feeling bad about yourself can be a trigger for a binge.

The idea behind No S is that you automate some of those food choices into good habits, habits like not eating between meals. You know that you're not supposed to snack, so you don't have to think very much when an opportunity to snack comes up. But, and this comes back to the finite willpower, you can only work on so many habits at once. You've probably, at some time in the past, made sweeping New Year's resolutions to change everything about your life that you weren't happy with, and found you were back in pretty much your old ways by February 1. It just doesn't work to try to change everything at once.

You're just starting to make your No S habits. Don't worry about what's on those three plates yet. Don't send your willpower running after a lot of bad habits at once- that will just exhaust it and you'll end up accomplishing nothing. Work on the three No S habits for now. Don't worry about anything you do on S days. Don't worry about how healthy the food on your plates is. Work on establishing the No S habits, then, when those seem natural to you (this will take at least a month), you can try working on other things.

Thanks I will try not to be so limiting in my 3 squares. I know that the diet mentality is always lurking behind the scenes..

Looking forward to establishing my good habits!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:38 am

wosnes, I love that line about not sending your willpower after too many habits at once. I'm going to use it!

Post by **reinhard** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:41 am

Hi Debra,

As you can see, you certainly aren't alone in having / having had trouble with this issue.

In addition to all the great responses here (thanks, guys!), you might find it helpful to listen to a podcast I did a while ago called "S-days gone wild."

http://www.everydaysystems.com/podcast/ ... .php?id=34

Reinhard

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 6:50 am

oolala53 wrote:wosnes, I love that line about not sending your willpower after too many habits at once. I'm going to use it!

Great line, but it belongs to Nicest of the Damned. I agree with it, but can't take credit for it.

I do think we need to be wary of dietary perfectionism, which is really shoved in our faces (mouths?) on a daily basis. It's really not important for most of us that we have those three carefully balanced plates daily. It is important that over the course of a few days or a week or even a month, everything balances.

Years ago I read a cookbook/memoir and the author said that every summer when she had more peaches than she could can or freeze, one night dinner would be peach cobbler. JUST peach cobbler. It started after a day of canning and planning cobbler for dessert, then being too tired to cook a meal. So she served the peach cobbler for dinner and it surprised and delighted her family.

Something that started out of frustration and fatigue became a much anticipated annual tradition. At the time the cookbook was written her children were adults with children --and peach cobbler for dinner was still an annual tradition.

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:52 am

I'm so grateful for all the support and great wisdom here.

If I'm eating 3 squares that are healthy because of how I learned to eat are we saying that might be a downfall? Would this be considered dieting? I really do enjoy healthy eating. I do have high cholesterol that I need to manage with food as I can't take the medication to lower it.

As for some of my favorite past time foods, like tuna casserole, I might decide to make it every week for now..seems that after my over indulgence my first thought is no way am I making that for a while...but when I think okay I can eat it for me 3 squares it will be allowing myself to be nice to me.

thanks allll..

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 11:57 am

debrabuf wrote:I'm so grateful for all the support and great wisdom here.

If I'm eating 3 squares that are healthy because of how I learned to eat are we saying that might be a downfall? Would this be considered dieting? I really do enjoy healthy eating. I do have high cholesterol that I need to manage with food as I can't take the medication to lower it.

As for some of my favorite past time foods, like tuna casserole, I might decide to make it every week for now..seems that after my over indulgence my first thought is no way am I making that for a while...but when I think okay I can eat it for me 3 squares it will be allowing myself to be nice to me.

thanks allll..

I think three square meals is healthy and I don't consider it dieting. However, I think that if one thinks that deviating at any time from three squares is unhealthy, then maybe one is thinking too rigidly about food and needs to rethink "health."

Sienna · Post by **Sienna** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:17 pm

debrabuf wrote:

If I'm eating 3 squares that are healthy because of how I learned to eat are we saying that might be a downfall? Would this be considered dieting? I really do enjoy healthy eating. I do have high cholesterol that I need to manage with food as I can't take the medication to lower it.

I think it's more like "if you are eating 3 squares a day that are 'healthy' because you think that that is what you should be eating when really you want to be eating something else" that could be problematic. Because it sets up a feeling of deprivation.

I don't feel much if any deprivation on NoS, because really an S day is never that far away. So it's never, "oh, I can't have that". It's "oh, I'll have to wait until Saturday for that - but I can do it"

If you enjoy eating healthy, then eat healthy. If your favorite meal is tofu and spinach, by all means eat tofu and spinach. But if you are forcing yourself to eat tofu and spinach when you really want mac&cheese, then you may find yourself feeling resentful and deprived. And when you do have an opportunity to have mac&cheese, you may find yourself going a bit overboard. Because you never get to have mac&cheese. And you are always so good about what you eat. Everyone is different, of course, but I find for me that it is better to allow myself to eat what I want, and just focus on making the quantities reasonable. Because any diet that required me to eat only (or even primarily) "health" foods isn't one that I could stick with indefinitely. And I think that a small positive life long change is worlds better than a large positive very short term change.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:23 pm

If eating three squares doesn't take any willpower for you at this point, go for it.

But if you're used to eating burgers and fries, and think you need to switch to salads at the same time that you're trying to get the No-S habits down, maybe you should slow down.

Basically, anything that you're already comfortable with is fine (as long as we're talking "normal lifestyle mode", not 'temporary crazed-diet mode"). The goal is to build good habits over time. Ones you already have in place are bonus, but be honest with yourself.

Someone here used the phrase "not ideal, but acceptable" to describe a day with technical compliance at a lower level than they liked. I think that's a wonderful concept. Some of your meals will be ideal, some acceptable. And some not-so-acceptable, which counts as a failure. (Or, if you prefer, a learning experience in disguise).

vmsurbat · Post by **vmsurbat** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:09 pm

debrabuf wrote:
If I'm eating 3 squares that are healthy because of how I learned to eat are we saying that might be a downfall? Would this be considered dieting? I really do enjoy healthy eating. I do have high cholesterol that I need to manage with food as I can't take the medication to lower it.

No, eating healthy meals is NOT "dieting". It is eating good food! I do the same almost all the time. I don't freak out if my plate doesn't look ideal, but I know that day in and day out, I am eating WELL and I get a great deal of pleasure (mind, body, and soul) from doing so.

debrabuf wrote:

As for some of my favorite past time foods, like tuna casserole, I might decide to make it every week for now..seems that after my over indulgence my first thought is no way am I making that for a while...but when I think okay I can eat it for me 3 squares it will be allowing myself to be nice to me.
thanks allll..

THIS!!!!!

I am one who was successful right off the bat with NoS despite the "odds" against me (female, short, thyroid issues, 50+ yrs). I think one advantage in my favor was that I didn't have a history of binge dieting. But I think a second HUGE advantage is that I took the rules at face value: 3 moderate plates a day. I didn't "save" food for S days (excepts sweets, of course).

That meant those first weeks/months, I was VERY kind to myself and included in my Nday meals: chips, pretzels, fried tacos, pizza, homemade mac 'n cheese, homemade spring rolls (fried, not oven-baked, and I could enjoy it as part of my diet, not in spite of it! Woohoo!). Not everyday, because I didn't really WANT to eat that way everyday, but a couple of times a week, and I just made sure that everything fit neatly on my plate.

I think this helped me immeasurably:

1. I wasn't waiting for S days to satisfy myself with food. If I had the temptation to eat a sweet, I could just tell myself that I'd wait to the weekend for that, but I'd stir up appreciation/anticipation for the stir-fry (or whatever) that I'd be eating soon enough.

2. I learned to eat food that I love (and what "normal" people eat) moderately. I loved (and still do!) eating "normally", not "diet-y".

3. Being "Kind to myself" (which is quite different from being indulgent) in meal planning led to being kinder in other parts of my life. I don't know why, but prior to NoS, if I was out and about and had forgotten a water bottle, I would suffer until I made it home to get a drink. Shortly after starting NoS, I suddenly realized that I could just spend the money and get a much needed drink. I didn't have to punish myself, or suffer, or act virtuous, or be a martyr; what I needed was a drink, and I could get one.

HTH,

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:26 pm

KCCC wrote:If eating three squares doesn't take any willpower for you at this point, go for it.

But if you're used to eating burgers and fries, and think you need to switch to salads at the same time that you're trying to get the No-S habits down, maybe you should slow down.

Basically, anything that you're already comfortable with is fine (as long as we're talking "normal lifestyle mode", not 'temporary crazed-diet mode"). The goal is to build good habits over time. Ones you already have in place are bonus, but be honest with yourself.

Exactly. What you don't want to do is to try to fix all of your bad food habits at once. It's very tempting to try to do that, but it doesn't work. New Year's resolutions are a common example of trying to change a lot of habits at once, and research shows that 78% of people who make New Year's resolutions don't keep them:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year%27s_resolution

You just don't have enough willpower to work on more than about three diet habits at a time. Once those new, good, habits become more natural and less of an effort to keep, then you can start working on other habits, but, again, not more than three at a time.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:30 pm

I didn't read all the posts through, but I want to say there is no such thing as a failure meal as long as it is one plate with no sweets. Any meal like that in the first 3-6 months IS ideal. However, by the time I started No S, meals were not my problem. It was eating a ton of junk food from 3 pm until bedtime and more on weekends. This was no matter what I had during the day. I ate pretty "healthy" meals from the beginning, and I continue to prefer them. Weekends are finally better and life is good!

I did notice recently that I had twinges of fear sometimes when I thought I couldn't have the kind of meal I ususaly prepare for myself, but I just opposed the thought. I can be moderate with any food at any meal and it will all balance out.

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:36 pm

thank you EVERYONE..this post has some awesome information in it and something i'll revert back to to help me keep perspective.

ya, i do really enjoy my food, BUT for sure i will definitely have some foods that were from my past and not very healthy

i want to be healthy i guess, so that is my driving force. i'll have to be sure to leave room for some not so healthy stuff when the urge strikes.

you guys are allll so awesome..
thanks.

Everyday Systems

HELP, need encouragement

HELP, need encouragement

Re: HELP, need encouragement

hi

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wonderful

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awesome