Think they can tell? It was going to be a secret.

~reneew · Post by **~reneew** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 8:54 pm

OOps, I edited instead of quote and I lost what I had written. I think it was something like this:

Since starting again, my teen son looked at my plate with a look that said "trying to fit it on one plate again Mom?" and I ignored him and balanced it on over to the table.

I was just hoping for some insight from others as to the pros and cons of letting people know that you are really serious about the way you are eating (nice way of saying, "on a diet")...

Thalia · Post by **Thalia** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:09 pm

I try not to talk about it too much with family, mostly because I don't want my daughter to grow up with the same eating issues I did, and I don't want to invite my husband to feel like he has to be the food police. They know that I don't eat between meals and will only go out for ice-cream on the weekend, and they know why, but beyond that I figure there are better topics of conversation!

~reneew · Post by **~reneew** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:20 pm

Good point Thalia. I try hard to not talk "diet" around the kids. I'd rather they not pick up on the stress, body image dislike, and worry. The way you just model it for them is a good way to do it. I need to be a better role model too. Thanks for the reminder.

Andie · Post by **Andie** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 10:19 pm

My family is on board, but my kids are little still. I think no s is a great way to model healthy eating for kids, as opposed to many other diets out there.
I even started a weight loss group on facebook for my family members and a few close friends who are interested in trying to lose a few pounds, we are holding each other accountable with weekly check ins. It's working great , we've been doing it since May, and everyone is doing really well. It really helps me stay on track to have the extra support.

However, as far as other friends and acquaintences, I don't tell them unless they ask me.

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Tue Aug 09, 2011 10:20 pm

I do not talk about it except when someone keeps pushing me to eat something after I have said no thanks repeatedly. Then I just say that I am working on better eating habits. To me the beauty of No S is not having to explain yourself. It is pretty easy to follow without making it public. On the other hand I share some of the basics if someone wants to know how I lost weight and seems genuinely interested.

Blithe Morning · Post by **Blithe Morning** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 12:48 am

My family knows but I don't talk about it. If they forget and offer something, I say "No thanks, I'm not hungry" and leave it at that.

Who Me? · Post by **Who Me?** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:01 am

I had to tell Robb, because he was trained by his mother to show love with food. I had to tell him No More Treats.

Moms everywhere: Stop It. Show love with actions, not with junky fatty food.

We still laugh about the time Robb's mom wanted to do something extra-special for us when we were visiting, so instead of giving us regular milk for coffee, she served us heavy whipping cream. It was disgusting, and she thought we would be so happy. We were caught in the social trap of having to express sufficient gratitude, while begging her to never make us drink this ever again.

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 9:01 am

My husband and I had a couple conversations..but he argues with me that this is just another diet, I tell him NO it isn't. My kids are all grown so no worries there

although my daughter struggles with her weight probably from all the years of watching me on WW and other diets. If I had only known....

It is hard, but I don't talk about it anymore,,no sense in trying to convince someone, when they hear no snacks, that's it...what?...until the weekend.

I feel for ya though, my husband who is usually pretty supportive knows I'm doing this because I told him at the start, now I wish I hadn't.

r.jean had this great point....

On the other hand I share some of the basics if someone wants to know how I lost weight and seems genuinely interested.

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 9:58 am

I don't talk about it, with anyone, unless asked

yoozer · Post by **yoozer** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:44 am

The first rule of No-S Diet Club is: you do not talk about No-S Diet Club. :)

Joyofsix · Post by **Joyofsix** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 11:05 am

No one here even noticed. Which I guess is good and bad. Of course I once colored my hair and my husband didn't notice.

Not a very observant bunch here.

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 12:01 pm

I didn't tell Nicest Husband that I was on No S until I was a couple of months into it. He had noticed that I was eating less (though didn't say anything about it until I told him I was on No S), but hadn't figured out anything beyond that.

I don't talk about No S with anyone who I think will be less than 100% supportive. I was a year into it before I told my parents I was on it. My in-laws still don't know. Part of this is because I don't want to hear about what other diet they think I should try instead, part is because I don't want to hear any nasty comments about my eating habits, part is because I'm not interested in hearing about anyone else's diet, so the golden rule says that means I don't talk about mine.

This board is great for people like me, who don't want to talk about No S with anyone who isn't going to be 100% supportive. It gives me a safe space to talk about No S with people who I can be sure will be supportive.

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 12:52 pm

Wow! There are so many of us who hate talking to others about dieting and weight loss. Some of these posts made me laugh, but all of the posts hit home with me in some way.

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 1:23 pm

debrabuf wrote:although my daughter struggles with her weight probably from all the years of watching me on WW and other diets. If I had only known....

I'm not your daughter, but I am the grown daughter of a parent (in my case, my dad) who struggled with diets throughout my childhood. I don't blame him or his diets for my struggle with weight. If that is part of the problem, I think it's a tiny part. There are so many other things in our society and our genes that make it easy to gain too much weight and hard to lose it.

Having a set of rules like No S for eating, when I was growing up, might have helped (I plan to have kids and try this- we'll see how it works in 35 years or so). But No S was not invented until 2001. At that point, I had 26 years' worth of other eating habits established. I can't blame my parents for not teaching me No S eating habits, any more than I can blame them for not getting me vaccinated for chicken pox before I got it in 1979. They can't know about something that hasn't been invented/discovered yet, and you couldn't have, either.

The tl;dr version: I know my dad, in his struggle with his weight, taught me some bad eating habits. But he was doing the best he could with the information he had at the time. I can't fault him for that. I don't blame him for my weight problems.

Blithe Morning · Post by **Blithe Morning** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 1:47 pm

Keep in mind that talking about OPD's (other people's diets) is quite boring. It's right up there with vacation videos and wedding plans. This may be in part why your family razzes you so.

If they start in with teasing without you bringing up the subject, just make non-committal noises and nod with a pleasant expression. If you don't react, they will give up eventually. If they don't, you might have to say "Listen, I know I've been over the top talking about diets before and I apologize. I'd like to give the topic a rest and I would appreciate if you would do the same." Then don't talk about diets or what to eat to lose weight for at least a year.

You are, however, allowed to keep a copy of the No S book out.

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 2:04 pm

Blithe Morning..

You are, however, allowed to keep a copy of the No S book out.

This is too funny..I have my No S on my kindle and just ordered a paperback copy as I want to have something solid in my hands to refer to when needed, not that the kindle isn't great, but I think not really for something you want to refer to and highlight in yellow the good points for quick reference..again, not like you can't highlight on a kindle..

I just GOT OFF off of sparkpeople website as kills me to see how people are constantly under the diet head umbrella, mostly everyone counting calories...although there is a spark team for No S, it has beeeeen very quiet....I tried to share with a friend or two on there, but they are not ready yet..afraid to gain what they lost so far.

I'm going to be just visiting this site where like minds think a like.

Nicest of the Damned thanks about the parenting thing..I guess we can't turn things back in time and if No S was around I would have surely applied to principles to my family. Can't cry over split milk as they say. Thanks for sharing...

Starla · Post by **Starla** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 2:41 pm

There's a picture of my front counter at work in the "Catch Phrases" thread; it has two candy jars on it. We also have treats for birthdays, pot luck lunches, bagel runs, and virtually an unending supply of food at the office. So when I stopped eating this stuff, people noticed, and I had to explain why. People have been very supportive, to the point of having special lunches instead of treats so that I can participate. Talking about it at the office has been very helpful.

I live alone, so I don't face food police or outside temtations there. I learned about "No S" when I asked my mother how she was losing weight. I try to remember that - she didn't talk about it until I asked, and that meant I was ready to hear it.

~reneew · Post by **~reneew** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 2:48 pm

I have 3 teens and a tween and if I even leave the no s book out someone will comment. I don't ever go on about it. I learned my lesson once when I thought I wanted them to "police" me. I actually told them the rules and told them to make sure I followed them. Duh. They thought it was a new game and wow was this going to be fun. After about a week, my oldest son started waving deserts in front of my face saying "want some?... oh that's right, you can't..ha ha ha". My younger kids helped a bit longer, but I started to regret the fact that I told them. I wanted to slack and they kept reminding me.

So, this time I'm not mentioning it at all and I think that even if they ask, I might deny it just so they don't watch me.

SunCat · Post by **SunCat** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 2:48 pm

My family knows, especially since I spend so much time on the blog

. They even help me set up photos and stuff. However, as to the 'diet' part of it, we never talk about it. My husband will ask if I want ice cream during the week when he's on his way to go get one for himself, but he does it because he was raised to be polite and he knows I'm going to refuse. No one mentions what I eat or don't eat. No one watches. It's simply a non-issue, which I think says a lot about how well No S fits into 'real life'.

However, I have to say there is one time I really would enjoy talking about it, and one of these days I'm actually going to do it. I was out to lunch with a friend at a burger place recently. She had her grilled chicken sandwich, while I had a bacon burger and fries. She frowned at her plate and said 'I'm trying to be good and stay on my diet which is why I got the chicken.' I had to surpress a smile. I so wanted to say 'I'm back on my diet, too'

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 2:55 pm

debrabuf wrote:Nicest of the Damned thanks about the parenting thing..I guess we can't turn things back in time and if No S was around I would have surely applied to principles to my family. Can't cry over split milk as they say. Thanks for sharing...

If I could send things back in time, the No S book would not be one of the first things I'd send. Some lottery or stock market numbers would definitely have higher priority

~reneew · Post by **~reneew** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 2:58 pm

Starla wrote:I learned about "No S" when I asked my mother how she was losing weight. I try to remember that - she didn't talk about it until I asked, and that meant I was ready to hear it.

Good point!

Eileen7316 · Post by **Eileen7316** » Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:12 pm

The first rule of No-S Diet Club is: you do not talk about No-S Diet Club.

Yoozer - this cracks me up!

Blithe Morning · Post by **Blithe Morning** » Thu Aug 11, 2011 5:54 pm

~reneew wrote:I learned my lesson once when I thought I wanted them to "police" me. I actually told them the rules and told them to make sure I followed them. Duh. They thought it was a new game and wow was this going to be fun. After about a week, my oldest son started waving deserts in front of my face saying "want some?... oh that's right, you can't..ha ha ha". My younger kids helped a bit longer, but I started to regret the fact that I told them. I wanted to slack and they kept reminding me. So, this time I'm not mentioning it at all and I think that even if they ask, I might deny it just so they don't watch me.

Oooh... ok. I see. I didn't realize all the particulars of the backstory. Yeah, I wouldn't leave the book out either in these circumstances.

vmsurbat · Post by **vmsurbat** » Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:19 pm

~reneew wrote:
I was just hoping for some insight from others as to the pros and cons of letting people know that you are really serious about the way you are eating (nice way of saying, "on a diet")...

Two quick thoughts here:

1. You used the phrase "on a diet" and I (gently) suggest retraining your thought process with that phrase. No-S is not something to be "on" but something to live. Everyone eats a diet...all the time...some just more consciously than others. The goal with NoS is to ingrain the habits long enough that you will no longer need to work so hard to consciously follow the good eating habits..... Also, I vote for not telling anyone--NoS on its own does not draw attention to itself, thus giving you the freedom to learn, fall, and pick yourself up as much as you need to.

2. One phrase that I do use a lot when someone remarks in a belittling way (usually not diet-related but hot/cold related--I tend to feel the cold way more than most people) about something I'm doing (like wearing a turtleneck and flannel jeans when everyone else is in short sleeves), is to simply reply: "This makes me happy." I've never had anyone argue with me about that!

HTH,

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Fri Aug 12, 2011 2:08 pm

vmsurbat wrote:1. You used the phrase "on a diet" and I (gently) suggest retraining your thought process with that phrase. No-S is not something to be "on" but something to live. Everyone eats a diet...all the time...some just more consciously than others. The goal with NoS is to ingrain the habits long enough that you will no longer need to work so hard to consciously follow the good eating habits.....

Maybe we could call it "keeping No S", by analogy with keeping kosher. I do both, and they really do have some things in common. Most notably that keeping kosher is supposed to be for a lifetime, as is keeping No S.

~reneew · Post by **~reneew** » Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:56 pm

I had written : the way you are eating (nice way of saying, "on a diet")... I just like to think of it like that... the way that I'm eating. It helps me think long term. Short term thinking can be turned off. I'm working on it.

Post by **reinhard** » Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:53 pm

I've been astonished at how infrequently I'm in a situation where I have to explain anything.

Even people who know (or knew) what I'm doing forget, or perhaps assume that I can't possibly still be doing it (because who ever really sticks with a diet, right?).

As for my close family, my wife and kids, it's such an established fact that we'd sooner talk about the color of my hair or how tall I am.

Reinhard

Clarica · Post by **Clarica** » Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:00 pm

I am totally excited by No S and would really be thrilled to share, but everyone I've mentioned it to (3 or 4 people, all close) seem really dismayed by the harsh, restrictive eating plan, that I've been discouraged and am definitely waiting to be asked in the future. Though I must admit that no snacking came really easily to me.

determined · Post by **determined** » Sat Aug 13, 2011 2:03 pm

I don't remember how many times I've started & restarted this plan...but I've been NoS'ing for 7 weeks this time and not one person in my life has noticed...and that's fine with me. I'm absolutely convinced this is the best and only way to eat for me, but I'm just not going to bring it up until my weight loss is noticed. (Hopefully that will be soon

) I've talked about food & dieting all my life & I'm just plain weary of the discussions so I'm just content to take my days one at a time & keep on learning to eat like a healthy person.

I love what vmsurbat wrote -

One phrase that I do use a lot when someone remarks in a belittling way (usually not diet-related but hot/cold related--I tend to feel the cold way more than most people) about something I'm doing (like wearing a turtleneck and flannel jeans when everyone else is in short sleeves), is to simply reply: "This makes me happy." I've never had anyone argue with me about that!

I think I'll steal that phrase from you!!!

janie

vmsurbat · Post by **vmsurbat** » Mon Aug 15, 2011 6:08 am

determined wrote:
I love what vmsurbat wrote -

One phrase that I do use a lot when someone remarks in a belittling way (usually not diet-related but hot/cold related--I tend to feel the cold way more than most people) about something I'm doing (like wearing a turtleneck and flannel jeans when everyone else is in short sleeves), is to simply reply: "This makes me happy." I've never had anyone argue with me about that!

I think I'll steal that phrase from you!!!

janie

Please do! I felt like I hit the golden jackpot with that one! It works so well in so many situations....

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Aug 22, 2011 11:25 pm

I think the point here is that the proof of the pudding is in the eating. It's actually up to you to prove that you are serious. What sets people up to have others doubt is to make broad claims and then not follow through. You can say all you want about being serious but no one will be convinced until you have been consistently serious for several months. Just keep eating your three meals a day with no snacking and no sweets and no seconds NO MATTER WHAT, and people will back off. So what if they wave desserts in the air for awhile? That's irrelevant. You are not going to eat that dessert. Dont' SAY you aren't going to. Just don't eat it.

Tallking about it before it's something you've actually implemented is pretty much a waste of time. If talking about the diet we were "on" worked, we'd all be thin. The talking about it is probably in direct proportion to the likelihood of failure. Do not try; just do. And even after you've been successful, don't expect people to have a party when you tell them how you did it. Many fear anything that sounds permanent. They've gotten used to thinking that a diet is temporary, though nowadays, a lot more know down deep that's wrong, too. Actually, when I've been successful at losing weight and keeping it off, most of the time, because people ask when there really isn't time to go into detail, I say, I ate less and exercised more. We both have a laugh.

Everyday Systems

Think they can tell? It was going to be a secret.

Think they can tell? It was going to be a secret.

Re: Think they can tell? It was going to be a secret.

Re: Think they can tell? It was going to be a secret.