Waiting to develope habit, before having S days?

[M's sick of dieting]

Have any of you waited several weeks or longer before you aloud S days? To let good habits start. Just wondering, sometimes I feel like my S days are a "free for all" and i don't want to feel like I'm binging. I know sweets are a huge trigger food for me. In a nutshell its like crack, give me sugar I'll be back in 5 minutes for more and I'll eat it till I'm sick!!

[NoelFigart]

Trust the process. Your first S days may be over the top, but even that is okay. You can't fail on an S-day.

Reinhard suggested in his book to plan some REALLY GOOD treats, and I'm going to say I absolutely agree with this idea. It's really hard to binge when you've promised yourself that perfect Godiva truffle after dinner.

[r.jean]

I have followed only the basic rules...vanilla no s...from the beginning. My S days were over the top initially and still are occasionally. It is part of the process to gradually learn to indulge in appropriate ways.

[SkyKitty]

S days are part of the habit.

I think you will find it far more difficult to establish the habits without the S days to let off steam.

You're not alone in finding S days quite over the top to start with. We've all been there and it does calm down honestly.

[sheepish]

I tried No S a few times before this attempt (which seems to be sticking - 8 months or so and 25ish pounds lost) and one of the things that I think was going wrong for me before was that I'd try to make up for failing by not taking S days. These days, even if I fail on a Friday, I still take my two S days at the weekends and I think it's really helped me to stay on track.

[NoSnacker]

I'm in for 3 months now and my S days are still not tame, but my focus is really on keeping my N days on track, which gives me sanity AND has since eliminated my binging during the week....

I don't want to hinder the process so I work at not letting S days get me down.

There are some wise people on here that really helped with keeping that in perspective.

And one thing I can say is WE are all different and things will happen differently over time for us as well.

deb

[wosnes]

Trust the process. Your first S days may be over the top, but even that is okay. You can't fail on an S-day.

Reinhard suggested in his book to plan some REALLY GOOD treats, and I'm going to say I absolutely agree with this idea. It's really hard to binge when you've promised yourself that perfect Godiva truffle after dinner.

I agree with Noel and sheepish. Taking the S days is an important part of the process; an important part of building the good habits. They're part of the good habits, not a reward for good behavior.

I also agree about really good treats. Not only are really good treats more satisfying, you can usually buy (or make) them in smaller amounts. Instead of buying and eating a bag of cookies, for instance, you can buy one or two or a half dozen and enjoy them more.

[Nicest of the Damned]

sometimes I feel like my S days are a "free for all"

And that's normal, OK, and pretty much the way things should be, at least at first. Remember not to compare your eating habits to some diet book model of perfection (that you never have attained and almost certainly never will), but to what your eating habits were like before you started No S. If you were having free-for-all days more often than twice a week before you started No S, then two free-for-all days per week is an improvement on three or more.

one of the things that I think was going wrong for me before was that I'd try to make up for failing by not taking S days.

This is a dangerous practice. It's dangerous for a couple of reasons. One is that it gives you "permission" to fail. Another is that you can end up "borrowing" S days from farther and farther into the future, and not actually changing your eating habits. Promising to eat less in the future can't make you lose weight now (I would have been thin for years if it did). Another reason is that it's a small step from losing an S day for being bad to getting an extra S day for being extra good. No S with too many S days doesn't work very well.

WARNING: Before you read the next part, I should say that I do not recommend mods to anybody in the first month of No S, unless you really can't comply with the No S rules as written. I would discourage any mods in the first three months.

I am doing a constellation of mods that helps me not keep eating once I start. These mods all apply to S days as well as N days:

1. The Sitting mod. It's real simple, no eating in any position other than sitting. Also sets a good example to keep small children from making a mess. Also makes it harder to eat in secret (if you don't live alone), since you can't just grab a handful of something in the kitchen.

2. The NEP mod, which means No Eating from Packages or No Eating without a Plate. Before you can eat anything, you have to put the food on a plate (in a bowl is also acceptable), and close up and put away the package it came from. For example, if you eat cereal, you have to put it in a bowl, and the box from which it came can't be on the table with you while you eat. It has to be closed up and put away in the pantry, or wherever its proper place is. If you want more, you have to get out the package again and put more in your bowl. I make an exception for single-serving packages (as listed on the Nutrition Facts) eaten outside the home.

3. Kitchen Mod I (which I was doing before No S, so it wasn't really a mod for me). It means no keeping packages of food outside of the kitchen. No candy dishes in the living room, unless guests are here, right now, who expect it. No stashes of food in your purse, backpack, or office. No mini-fridges full of food in the den (mini-fridges with acceptable beverages are OK, but no food). If you want food, you have to get up and go to the kitchen to get it. It doesn't mean no eating outside the kitchen, but there's no keeping food outside the kitchen.

4. Kitchen Mod II (I did this pre-No-S, because our kitchen doesn't have chairs in it). No hanging out in the kitchen. The kitchen becomes a no-loitering zone. Only spend time in the kitchen when you are preparing a meal, eating a meal, or cleaning. At other times, you should be elsewhere. Don't watch TV in the kitchen, except while doing one of those three other activities. Hang out together with your family in the living room or in some other part of the house, not in the kitchen. Don't work or surf the net at the kitchen table. If you are in the kitchen, where the food is, you're going to see the food and want to eat it. This is one of the principles on which food advertising works. If you're in a place that you associate with eating, you're going to think of eating (Pavlov's dog proved this).

The four previous mods make eating into something that happens in discrete events, rather than a continuous thing that happens all day. If you want to eat, you have to go to the kitchen, put food on a plate, and sit down to eat it. Getting anything more requires getting up again and putting more food on a plate. I used these eating events to make another mod:

5. The 30 Minute Mod. If you have an eating event (as described above), at least 30 minutes must elapse before you can have anything else to eat. Seconds or a dessert at meals on S days do not count as separate eating events, but any other add-on to an eating event does. If I have a chocolate bar as a snack (on a plate), and feel like having something else afterward, I have to wait 30 minutes. The idea here is that it takes your brain at least 20 minutes to register if your stomach is full. Also known as the "you just ate, you don't need to be eating again" mod (as your mom or grandma might have told you- my mom certainly did. I can hear the previous quote in her voice in my mind's ear.).

If you wanted to start these mods, or any subset of them, don't try to do them until you've got at least 3 months of vanilla No S under your belt. Then, don't try to do them all at once. Don't introduce new mods more frequently than once a month, and don't try to introduce more than 3 new mods at a time.

[snapdragon]

My most successful s days were a mod I did without thinking about it. I did not start it on purpose and I think I will keep it.
If I am eating at home I still eat three meals and eat desert after dinner instead of late at night. I was afraid of falling out of the habit. Late night eating is one of my worse downfalls. I avoid snacking unless I am out. I guess these are mods. I like to plan a nice desert for the weekend, and get the family involved. I find if I don't I almost feel obligated to gorge on junk.

[vmsurbat]

My most successful s days were a mod I did without thinking about it. I did not start it on purpose and I think I will keep it.
If I am eating at home I still eat three meals and eat desert after dinner instead of late at night. I was afraid of falling out of the habit. Late night eating is one of my worse downfalls. I avoid snacking unless I am out. I guess these are mods. I like to plan a nice desert for the weekend, and get the family involved. I find if I don't I almost feel obligated to gorge on junk.

To my mind, these aren't necessarily mods (unless you keep them with a strictness like marking them red on the habitcal). To me, they seem like mere sensible realizations--it is what you like to do because it feels right and good! And if you don't, you soon realize why you came up with the good idea (eg., dessert after dinner) in the first place.

In my NoS journey, I've found that the three NoS rules act like a fence, a barrier on both sides of the path. But things like choosing not to snack because I don't like the overly full feeling I get and consequent lack of appetite for the next meal, or wanting to have my plate be 1/2 salad and veggies is more like staying on the path between the fence--I can veer off a bit now and then, but it is much easier to walk on the path than on the bumpy sides! And when I do, my NoS journey is that much more enjoyable!

HTH,

[r.jean]

I agree vmsurbat. Good analogy!