Giving up....

losingforgood · Post by **losingforgood** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:09 pm

On the scale that is. I started this program in mid-January of this year. I've been increasing my exercise and have been following this way of eating pretty much to a tee. I lost 6 lbs. in the first month and a half, then then stayed there ever since, even fluctuating within a 4 lbs. weight range. I've had my thyroid checked, as well as other factors that can make weight loss difficult. I even stopped taking some prescription meds that often contribute to weight gain. I'm NOT giving up on moving more and eating better. No S has REALLY helped me cut out binge eating almost entirely. But I haven't really lost weight yet. It's very frustrating, especially since I know that alot of my other health issues would be greatly reduced, or even reversed, if I lost weight. A few days ago, I decided that I'm going to live as if I'm already at my ideal weight. I'm moving even more than I did when I started No S more. I'm trying to switch my focus to feeling better, being stronger, and being healthier over all with healthy life habits, rather than focusing on the numbers on the scale. This is NOT an easy thing to do. It has me in tears, thinking I could stay this weight for the rest of my life, unless I exercise to the point of dropping dead (something I refuse to do). My feet were happier when I weighed less. I'm also not going to fool myself into believing that maybe I'm one of those people who has to do this for a while with no significant change, and then all of a sudden...after months of No S....BAM! I start dropping lbs. like flies. Somehow, I don't think that will happen in my case, but if it does, that will be a HUGE bonus. I'm done with snacking on non-S days, I'm done with counting calories, I'm done with worrying about what I can or can't eat outside of the 3 basic S rules, and I'm (hopefully) DONE with worry about whether I lose another ounce!

Selina · Post by **Selina** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:22 pm

You rock!

I admire you very very much for this step. I also am scared to death that I will just stay at this weight with No S. But if I do so, I can proudly say that I am NOT a glutton anymore, that food DOESN'T control my life and that I will definitely feel so much better, EVERY SINGLE day. Is that worth nothing?
It would be so nice to think about something else than diet, weight etc. for a change
I am also willing to give up my pathetic goal weight. I have a GOAL LIFE instead that I can start living this minute.
Thank you for saying that! I needed that.

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:42 pm

Hi losingforgood! Just popping in to add that I echo entirely what Selina has written (great post, Selina) and I also felt that I could have written your post in entirety, lfg! I, too have been struggling with the weight loss side of things... or lack thereof; I also take prescription meds which can also contribute to weight gain. I have an underactive thyroid - I think - they're not sure whether its Hashimotos (where the thyriod swings between under and over active; could be why I lost weight when I wasn't taking the medicine last year??? makes me tempted to try stopping the med for a few weeks to see if I would lose anything but also realize this would not be good for my health, so I probably won't, even tho it is mighty tempting!

I also applaud your positivity and outlook on this; if I could just sum up the willpower not to stand on the scale... or as much .... I think it would be great. I have managed to stick to one little mod I have been trying out - no high fat dairy - and I'm quite pleased that I've managed to do so painlessly for about 3 weeks now. BUT don't want to get too restrictive about it. As far as I can see, it hasn't made any difference to my weight so it may not be worth it anyway.

But I might try not weighing for 1 month and see how it goes - baby steps! My official weigh in isn't til June but I'm not sure I can hold out that long. (YET!!)

KL · Post by KL » Thu Mar 22, 2012 11:36 pm

Hi losingforgood - so glad it's the scale you're giving up.

You say that you've been able to cut out binge eating almost entirely. That is HUGE! Don't discount that. Remember what it felt like when you were into the food. When the food had it's grip on you. Remember the indigestion, bloat, etc. Remember the guilt, shame, remorse.

I know what it's like to be disappointed when the numbers on the scale don't reflect all the hard work. When you focus on the habits you'll eventually lose the weight. It you focus on the weight, you'll eventually lose the habits.

losingforgood · Post by **losingforgood** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:16 am

Every single one of you has hit something on the head for me. I still weigh almost every day. I'm so terrified of gaining more weight. I was 100 lbs. overweight several years ago, then I lost 55 lbs. But then I had a major health scare and an injury that wiped me out, and I've been creeping back up the scale again, until I was only 13 lbs. away from my heaviest weight...right back to where I started! I was soooo active before all of this happened. I only had 45 lbs. left to go to be at a healthy weight. I'm not anywhere Near as active as I was when I was in the best shape. But I Am almost as active as I was before I hit my plateau at that 55 lbs. loss, before I gained again. I'm still concerned about not GAINING weight, so I still need the scale to monitor that. I just don't want to care if I'm 130 or 215 (or somewhere in between) anymore. It really had me depressed today. After I submitted this post, I looked at the clock and saw it was time to get ready for work. I thought about that 15 minute hike up the hill to my bus stop and thought...what's the use? It's not helping me lose weight. But then I stopped myself and reminded myself of all of the other things I CAN do now that I couldn't do 3 years ago. And, do you know what I did AFTER work? I found just enough time to get to the park, do my walk/run around the mile long track, and leave before the park closed. I'm still a little depressed, but at the same time, I wanted to get out there. This is a public website so I won't go into details of the problems I had that got me to this point, but I can just say, the difference between 3 years ago and NOW, in what I'm able to do, is HUGE. I sometimes forget that when I think about how far I still have to go to be as active and as healthy as I was before the problems happened. You all are encouraging to me, and I need that right now. Thank you.

lbb (Liz) · Post by **lbb (Liz)** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 5:24 am

Wow you inspire me! Keep up the positive attitude and hard work!

losingforgood · Post by **losingforgood** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 5:44 am

Thanks Ibb! I just know that one of the reasons we often don't see lasting results with any change in eating habits or exercise, is because we give up before we get to our goal weight, or we don't see any results in lbs. lost, so we think it's not worth it. So our bodies don't get a chance to get used to the new life style. I finally found a way of eating that doesn't drive me INSANE with rememering numbers, writing everything down, and worrying about what can I eat and what's forbidden! If it's a way of eating that doesn't make my head spin with all of that, and it keeps me from thinking about food on a constant basis, and I don't binge, then it's the program for me. When I read or hear experts say how we must count each calorie and we must write everything we eat down on paper, I think, when did the human race decided that we all had to do that? In all of human history, I don't recall ever learning that humans EVER did this in previous centuries! So, this HAS to make sense, doesn't it?

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 10:48 am

I totally agree! I hate writing down everything I eat and tracking my food and feeling discouraged when my food choices are not the best. The habit cal and the posting help me make small notes to myself that tell me how I am doing without impeding my life and without obsessing about it.

I am not a lab rat! All the research and counting in the world will not fix my issues with food, but the common sense of No S and the power of habit are working for me.

Hope you continue the No S journey!

NoSnacker · Post by **NoSnacker** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:37 pm

I totally agree...when did society start counting calories, tracking food, etc. I know my grandmother did not, nor my aunts...seems all the dieting has gotten into everyone's head, causing more issues with disordered eating...

I hope to stick to my 3 squares and not go hog wild on the weekends...

I have come to the realization that binging gets me nowhere but fatter..but still doesn't stop the urge from being there.

Much success to you!
deb

lbb (Liz) · Post by **lbb (Liz)** » Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:11 pm

That's a great way of thinking about things: how our ancestors did things. There is all this talk about eating the way they did (pure, non-artificial, whole foods), but along with that comes in THINKING the way they did.
NOT counting/calculating. I struggle NOT doing this. It's this false sense of control I feel like I can keep when, even if I'm 3-plating it, to still count and "double check" that I'm not over-calorie-ing it. But that always seems to backfire.
It really does seem quite insane, right?

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Mar 24, 2012 3:24 am

Well, the ancestors didn't have access to thousands of calories with so little effort. Nor to foods that were in forms that allowed the ingestion of those calories so darn fast. Nor did they live in a culture that allowed eating all day long and seems to find so much value in having too much. Or even encouraged overeating.

That being said, later there was money to be made with recommending someone's pet plan that seemed to demand specialized information.

But of course, I agree with you all. I went into this mostly looking for a way to thwart my binge eating, though I believed that if I did lick it, I would lose weight. I just wasn't sure (and still am not) how much that would be. And I kept saying that wherever I land has to be enough. I'm lucky enough to be pretty healthy. But nothing is guaranteed.

And I have been fighting the tyranny of thinness (actually my own expectations) since the early 1980's. I've sometimes thought I would need to go to Africa completely away from the media to work with some aid organization delivering food to starving people to get over this culture's mad obsession with thin bodies.

losingforgood · Post by **losingforgood** » Sat Mar 24, 2012 4:16 am

Oolala, you are so on point. This culture today is all about how quickly we can access everything...technology, resources, and food included. So, with all this easy acess to food and people just mindlessly shoving gobs of food down our throats because we can, someone HAD to come up with SOMETHING to tell society how much we should be eating. The problem is, having to count calories all the time, weigh this and measure that and write every morsal down...how on EARTH does anyone have time to actually ENJOY what they're eating, or to ENJOY the other areas of their lives? Honestly? It makes my head spin!

Ok, so I'm not seeming to lose any weight now and that's been very frustrating, because I've been working very hard at increasing my activity level during the day and I've been really grasping the whole idea of just 3 meals a day expect on the days that I'm allowed to splurge a little. There's only 3 main restrictions and that's IT.

But, inspite of not losing weight...yet...here's what I've GAINED since mid-January: freedom to choose what goes in my meals GUILT FREE and loving every bite, freedom to have a second helping or a snack or a sweet when it's allowed GUILT FREE and to enjoy it even more because I WAITED for the appropriate time to have it. I have more energy. I'm sleeping better and waking up more rested. I actually ENJOY including a little running in my walks (something I could never do when I was thinner). I do kickboxing, and I LOVE it! I go out to the dance clubs with a friend of mine on Saturday nights, and I can dance alot more through the night. I'm regaining my balance after my injury. I have a greater desire to just MOVE. And I DON'T think about food every second of the day. If I can just keep all of those good benefits I'm receiving in the forefront of my mind, then maybe it won't bother me so much if I don't lose any weight. I know this is a way of life for me now, and I'd be a fool not to keep doing it. It's giving me my life back.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:48 am

I'd say you've gotten a good bargain for your efforts!

KL · Post by KL » Mon Mar 26, 2012 1:47 pm

Yay for a guilt-free mind

Personally, I just wanted relief from nighttime eating. I would put my daughter to bed and consume the equivalent of 1 to 2 more meals watching TV with my husband. Then I wouldn't be hungry for breakfast the next morning - I would start calculating how many calories I had eaten vs. how many saved by not eating breakfast - should I not eat lunch as well to really compensate for what I ate?? - oh, yeah, what about how much I could burn in the form of exercise. And on, and on, and on - makes me exhausted just thinking about it now.

I read in a book somewhere - if we could stop the insanity of what we were doing and have peace in our minds and souls, would we be okay with our bodies exactly the way they are today at this moment? Would we be able to trade in the craziness for normalcy?? Made me stop in my tracks thinking about that one.

Looks like that's where you are.

lbb (Liz) · Post by **lbb (Liz)** » Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:16 pm

KL: I relate to the putting kids to bed and consuming a day's worth of calories all in one fell swoop.
And then making up for it the next day.
Insanity.
We can do this. Peace in our minds and souls!

Meikmeika · Post by **Meikmeika** » Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:47 pm

I love this topic and everyone's posts.

I've been aware of noS for years and have tried it atleast a half a dozen times.......it's time to face my fears and actually accept where I am instead of where I want to be with my weight.

It's so much easier to go to the gym when it's about health, or feeling good, not the number on the scale. Salads, fruits, veggies, and beans taste so much better when you actually want them not b/c they're on your "limited food choices" menu.

We have to focus on the non-scale victories with noS b/c this is the only "diet" that will allow us to keep our sanity.

I love this board!!!!