New (to the forum, not to No s)... and have questions....

[Anonymous-Coward]

Hi guys... I've been meaning to sign up for ages...
This is a looooooong ( I'm sorry in advance) intro to how I came to be here

Origins
I'm a (just turned) 20 year old guy from the UK... About two years ago (mid 2010) - I don't really know why, but I felt like getting into top shape... I was never overweight at all really, but wasn't in "great" (washboard abs) shape...

So I went on a really strict (not so strict initially) diet, which started with eliminating sweets and chocolate, then bread and more (I used the "a moment on the hips a life time on the hips" saying until I found it easier to resist )

I then started calorie (and carb and fat) counting everything, I had bought weighing scales, and started to eat different meals to my family. I had no more than 7 or 8 foods I would happily eat...
All this alongside jogging for 40 odd minutes daily... It became addictive.

I managed this for half a year or so, I lost tons of fat, and did feel good about myself.. I wasn't starving myself - I was still eating enough food, just micromanaging everything...


Uni - And that Chicken
I packed up and left to go to Uni that September... As you can imagine, I was unable to keep the micromanaging up... I remember my first binge.. My flatmates and I had cooked a MASSIVE sunday roast for us and the guys in the surrounding flats... And when they all left I literally stuffed myself with the remains of the roast chicken....
The bingeing had begun.

In between binging ( even on roomates' food, which was the lowest, lowest point, and resulted in me spending so much money on constantly replacing their food before I hoped they would notice)... I spent most of my time searching for a way to get control back...

I tried everything from a carb free diet, to an all carb diet. No eating after 3pm, no eating before 6pm. Eating in a 1 hour window, eating in a 4 hour window.. Only eating at a table (in order to monitor my intake).. Everything....
Towards the end of the school year I had settled on not eating anything after 3/4 pm.... I managed to keep it up for a few months of the end of year and holiday.
But, as you can imagine, it's wasn't easy to live life when you eat nothing after 3pm... I actually found eating that way easy, I was eating everything (healthy and notso healthy) again, wasn't counting calories, and my weight was finally stable.
I never really binged. But I was sick of worrying about events that may come up after 3pm, or making up excuses to my parents or friends. Eventually I gave that one up before returning to Uni last September... A few weeks in and the binging had continued... It was happening 2 or 3 times a week.
I was constantly bloated in the face- which made me feel worse and binge more.
I again tried everything... Buying my food on a daily basis which could amount to no more than £3 pounds a day, even only eating when hungry (not as easy as it sounds)...

The bingeing and food obsession made the school year pretty miserable.. And I become quite isolated from people as a result..


Reinhard and the bulletin board
I came back home for the summer this June.. And soon after (whilst searching for a new diet to hopefully click (searching forums and websites for diets had pretty much become my life)) found No S...
I had actually seen it months before and had dismissed it straight away as I didn't think it could work for a binger.. I typed "No S reviews" into google, and was disuaded by a few posts on a few sites. A few days later I had another look, delved into the site a bit deeper, and liked the funny tone used by Reinhard on the main page... I gave it a go.

What really saved me was finding these discussion boards.. Without them, I would have given up on my first WILD s-day, or when I got stuck... But most of my early questions were answered..

I'm happy to say I've been (vanilla) No-sing for 2 and a half months... My S- Days have mostly been pretty wild (actually very wild )...
But during the week, I have felt a peace that I haven't felt for two years or so...

The dilemma
My N-days have been perfect for the whole time, absoloutely no red days... Until yesterday...
After dinner, I don't know what it was, but I felt a binge coming, and did nothing to stop it. Lying in my bed (having eaten 2 bowls of cereal (I don't even like cereal) a packet of 12 or 13 biscuits a couple packs of crisps and more) I vowed to get back on track today, and was fine but after lunch binged (not so much) again...

Lately my breakfast has been leaving my even more hungry than I was before I ate it.. And the gap between Breakfast and lunch has been getting smaller and smaller.. Lately it's been breakfast at 10 lunch at 12.30 (by which point I'm famished).

This has made me panic and I think this may be the cause of my sudden binge.. Either this or it could be the fact that I'd been thinking about introducing mods for my S-days this weekend.. Maybe that made me panic. Maybe it was just nothing but t=an old urge.

Whatever it is.. I know there is no way I can leave No S... I felt free, and was back to my old self...

Just get to the point already
I want to ask... Do you think possibly eating two meals a day would be a better idea to try (as in: Brunch at 11 ish (slightly awkward) and dinner at normal time) or (what I'm leaning towards right now) 3 meals (as in: lunch at normal time as my first meal, dinner at normal time as my second, and a late meal at 10 or 11 as my final meal...) I havent started the school year yet, but wont be sleeping until midnight, and will be waking around 7- 8 am most mornings.
Or should I just suck it up and get my act together like it was before, and ride out the hunger...

It's the same regardless of what type of food I eat for breakfast, an hour later I'm hungrier than before and quite irritable...It wasn't like this at the beginning, but has felt like this lately.

Up until yesterday I'd had 100% green days, so the habit of not snacking or seconds or sweets is already in place..
Maybe I should just pretend this set back never happened or maybe it's a sign, I don't know ...

But I've done a bit of research and found that the Spanish often actually eat as late as midnight in the summer..

I quite worried that making the wrong decision now could derail everything... But I guess I'm not so much asking but seeking confirmation that eating lunch, dinner and my late (possibly mini) meal isn't a silly thing to do..
I kind of gave it a go tonight.. I managed to pull myself together before I had dinner.. and then at 10pm had a small 1-plate meal... And I actually do feel quite good before bed...
The real test will come tomorrow before lunch time.. I guess I'll have a good idea whether it will work or or not by then..

Thank you for reading this loooooong (Once again I'm sorry) post, and for any replies ..
You guys have been an inspiration for me. And thank you Reinhard!

P.S:
I've stopped visiting this site during the day, because I'd been spending too long just browsing the threads (sometimes for a few hours a day) so I only visit at night right before bed... I have work (bartender) at 8 tomorrow night though and don't finish till 2am.. So (assuming I have three meals) I'll probably have my dinner at around 6- 6.30pm and my "last meal" when I get back shortly before I go to bed, and let you guys know how things went...

My last meal obviously wont be as late during the week as I'll be sleeping at normal time.

[cinnamon bliss]

It seems to me like you were doing fine on No-S until you tried to make yourself restrict on S days. Maybe it would help to go back to vanilla No-S and let the S days sort themselves out.

I'd say give yourself multiple months on vanilla No-S and don't try to control the S days. Once your subconscious really starts to trust that it will get safety, structure, freedom, and adequate and tasty nourishment, the desire to binge should go away.

[Marcy]

Hi there, I can relate to much of your post. I never struggled with my weight until I started dieting to get off normal pregnancy weight (that would have come off anyway!). The more extreme the diets, the more extreme my obsessions became. I relate to your endless research and websites- I have been there too.

I found an article that really helped me understand how I ended up with such disordered eating, it was actually a report called "semi-starvation, here is the link:

http://www.possibility.com/wiki/index.p ... Starvation


I am still struggling, but I find that I am most successful when I am able to stay away from all the books, blogs, websites and message boards (sorry Reinhardt!). I will be doing well, then get frustrated with the weight not coming off quick enough (I am only about 20 lbs overweight). Then I will reengage in all of the above and lose control. I also have trouble when I try to modify what I am eating. I have struggled with trying to limit carbs, And whenever I do, I lose control.

NOS is the only thing that as brought a reasonable measure of sanity to my life- but I don't do S days as prescribed. I also only have 3 meals on S days- and I do not have seconds. What I allow myself is dessert (whatever I want in a reasonable portion) or a savory snack (like popcorn at the movies). I also might have a glass or two of wine. Some S days, I will have all three of these things, but I do not let S days turn into nonstop snacking (which is really a binge) and a downhill slope for me.

The majority of my issues developed after being on a very low calorie diet on and off for several years. My eating became disordered and I was in therapy for a year.

[Anonymous-Coward]

Well... I can already tell the Lunch, dinner and 2nd dinner format isn't going to work...It has had me thinking about food, routine and all that jazz all day...

I'm just going to stick to what worked well for weeks - Standard Breakfast, Lunch and dinner...

I have no problems between Lunch and dinner, or even between dinner and bed... It's only recently been between Breakfast and lunch...
But it's back to standard vanilla nos for me..
I'll just have to accept the hunger between breakfast and lunch, and ride it, and it should get better:D.

There's no way two meals would work right now.. I'm quite an active 6-foot guy..
And having done so well with three meals for so long... I'd feel short-changed only eating two, and almost like I'm depriving myself.

Thank you to the guys who commented
What I definately have learnt through the past few days is that I can't be stressing over sdays..

Edit:
I've thought about something actually...
Part of my anxiety was because (due to still being on holidays ) I have tended to stay up late (1am- 3am) and woken up late morning (10am ish)
This then leaves me unsure as to how to fit in breakfast and lunch in with enough of a "hunger period" before dinner (usually 6pm ish), which I eat at the table with my family most nights, and can't choose to delay...
I want myself to be hungry enough for it, but I start panic when I worry about the best ways of fitting my breakfast and lunch in with a gap..

So I have a mod (and it's my only one) "breakfast" must be eaten before 9.30am...
If it's 9.30am and I haven't eaten my first meal, then I can only have 1 brunch (breakfast/lunch) plate.

This will encourage me to sleep earlier and wake up earlier which is a good, healthy habit I really need to develop anyway... However my Uni schedule differs on a day to day basis, so this mod gives me a clear guideline, and will avoid any panic in the night before...
The more I think about it the more I think this may have been what caused me to binge...

I've woken up at around 10am for most of my holidays.. And as dinner is around 6 I've tried to squeeze my first two meals in before 1pm, so that I feel hungry for dinner... They've often been only two hours apart from each other.
This has slowly made me feel like I'm not properly implementing the system (as eating every two hours is something I want to avoid), and made me feel like I've failed, which led to a binge.

Hopefully this mod works... It isn't a mod that hopefully I'll need to use too often, as I'll start sleeping abit earlier.

Pleased I've signed up, and can talk to people who understand

[Blithe Morning]

I wouldn't overthink this.

Allow yourself three meals a day. Even if you sleep in. You don't have to eat three meals but don't deny yourself the third meal.

Expect to be non-compliant aka fail sometimes. It happens. Mark it and move on. Don't get extra strict trying to make up for it. Just get back on track.

If you must do some sort of "penance", try taking a walk or going for a bike ride or swim or whatever you enjoy. Unlike food restriction which is psychologically and often physically uncomfortable, brisk exercise particularly outdoors, makes me feel physically and emotionally better. If you have a mate or a girlfriend or a dog to walk with, all the better.

[Jethro]

I wouldn't overthink this.

Allow yourself three meals a day. Even if you sleep in. You don't have to eat three meals but don't deny yourself the third meal.

Expect to be non-compliant aka fail sometimes. It happens. Mark it and move on. Don't get extra strict trying to make up for it. Just get back on track.

If you must do some sort of "penance", try taking a walk or going for a bike ride or swim or whatever you enjoy. Unlike food restriction which is psychologically and often physically uncomfortable, brisk exercise particularly outdoors, makes me feel physically and emotionally better. If you have a mate or a girlfriend or a dog to walk with, all the better.

And remember, you are only next meal away from getting back on track.

[milliem]

I think you are making it a lot harder than it needs to be

You can eat breakfast, lunch, dinner or just lunch, dinner or brunch, late lunch, supper, or whatever combination of meals you like. In fact there's nothing to say you have to eat the same amount of meals at the same time every single day, depending on your schedule.

Eat three meals if you need three to keep you satisfied. Don't worry too much about when they are but try not to snack in between them or change the timings last minute. That's the great thing about NoS, it can fit into your life easily!

It's ok to eat a lot on an S day sometimes. It's not great, but it's part of the process - you know you didn't feel good afterwards which will help you make better choices on your next S day. Keep at it, you're doing great so far

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[oolala53]

I agree with eating three meals. Go slowly and experiment after a week or so with ligthening up the meals that are close together, so breakfast and lunch might be almost token meals. I went through a period of time of just adding protein powder to my coffee to make a kind of breakfast of it because I wasn't hungry in the mornings. (I already add a lot of milk.)

Also, what's going on between those meals? Are you feeling stressed over obligations? I bet you can cope with those feelings, but you may not even realize it's getting to you, and that can make the very temporary pleasure of overeating more attractive despite the gorged feeling later. (I do NOT subscribe to the idea that bingeing is a kind of punishment.)