Jealousy as motivation

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dana2012
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Jealousy as motivation

Post by dana2012 » Thu Oct 11, 2012 2:11 am

Is it wrong to use jealousy as a motivational tool for losing weight?

I saw an old friend today. It's been over two years since last we saw one another. She has lost so much weight. I felt a lot of jealously bubbling inside. Is it wrong to channel that feeling into a positive thing?

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Blithe Morning
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Post by Blithe Morning » Thu Oct 11, 2012 4:22 am

Wrong? Well... a lot of us (ok... I) get motivated when we realize that we aren't performing at the level we could or realize that if we had just put in more effort than we would be further along because if She could do XYZ, then so could we.

But if you are out to somehow prove you are better than She is, then I think this is bad for your character as well as not being a terribly sustainable motivation. Eventually, you will stop caring and this causes a "snap back response" where you might end up worse off than before. Such is the way with negative emotions.

If you need a kick in the butt to get serious about something, then take it. Otherwise, don't let this become a middle school competition about something that ultimately doesn't matter.

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dana2012
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Post by dana2012 » Thu Oct 11, 2012 11:15 am

Hey Blithe,

I don't think is an "I'll show you" jealousy because I probably will not see her again for another two years.

I felt more upset with myself because I haven't been as dedicated as I know I should have been. I kept thinking, if I had not been such a slacker I could be where she is.

This was a kick in the pants. If I want this then I need to do what I have to do and stop making excuses.

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gratefuldeb67
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Post by gratefuldeb67 » Thu Oct 11, 2012 3:13 pm

personally, i don't believe jealousy is a good motivation for anything.
but i wish you all the best and hope you do well.
good luck!
deb
Last edited by gratefuldeb67 on Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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wosnes
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Post by wosnes » Thu Oct 11, 2012 4:32 pm

When it comes to motivation -- whatever works. Now, I think jealousy to get your friend to gain weight again will be wrong!
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."

Strawberry Roan
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Post by Strawberry Roan » Thu Oct 11, 2012 9:01 pm

Well, I don't know of anybody that I am jealous of but I will admit that I use vanity as a motivator 8)
Berry

oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Fri Oct 12, 2012 7:26 am

I wouldn't cultivate jealousy for someone because she achieved the outer image. I'm so sure I am willing only to do so much to achieve the cultural ideal that I always question how people got where they did. I have no envy for people who are living as if a slave to their looks and the eating and exercising that got them there. If they can't have a relaxed attitude about it, or achieve it with moderate effort that doesn't turn their life upside down, I don't want it.

I am much more inspired by the freedom from the concern than I am by the ideal body by late 20th century standards. It's so arbitrary! But I have no chance to be an ingenue anymore, so my perspective may be perverted. However, I've felt that way since my late twenties. Maybe that's why I could rarely convince myself to stick to a diet in all those years. Although I don't aspire to gain weight, I actually admire more women who delight in their bodies and can feel beautiful and sensual even if they are overweight than a P90X girl who gloats over her glutes because she now believes herself virtuous and good, worthy of the admiration and approval of strangers. I've seen too many of these people terrified they will gain an ounce of fat, and that I'm sure is not the essence of life. Besides, the wrong tactics are correlated with later weight gain, so what's to be jealous of? Temporary delight and eventual disgust with the loss of the ideal?

So, I say be jealous of that which wisdom teachers proclaim-- the center. That's why I am such a devotee of Reinhard. Sure, he admits he has gotten a little thrill not being the chunky guy anymore, but just his modesty in his pics shows where the real center is for him. Simple, moderate habits in eating and moving that promote vitality and let him live the rest of his life-- where the real goodies are-- better.

Can I get a witness!

Ok, got a little bit of a soapbox thing going on.

But if being jealous of her helps you get that you could be happier and more joyful in your eating peace while likely having lost weight in the next two years, then mazel tov!
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

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Eileen7316
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Post by Eileen7316 » Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:59 pm

Can I get a witness!
Preach it, sister! :lol:

Seriously, Oolala, I loved the wisdom in your post. I particularly LOVED this sentence:
So, I say be jealous of that which wisdom teachers proclaim-- the center.
Eileen

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