Realizing I "DO" have self control.....

[Marcy]

Hi All, I had an epiphany of sorts a while back and wanted to share with you. I have always had trouble with self control and food (obviously) or I would not be here. I have a terrible time with snacking, and I really do blame part of my behavior on the "mini-meal" concept that is so popular in diet mentality.

I had a friend who went on a mission trip to an orphanage in India and while she was telling me about her trip, I realized that when I choose to, I do in fact have a good measure of self control. She was describing the day and how they began with tea and milk (which was breakfast) and then mid-day they would have lunch and then dinner. I realized that if I were in India, I would have perfect self control. I would eat what was offered me (one plate of food) and I wouldn't dare ask for seconds in the face of so much need. Would I be able to go the entire day without a snack? Of course I would, because I know that I would never consider going into their pantry and taking food for myself!

Indeed, when I have visited family and friends, I also exhibit self control with food. I don't ask for food that isn't offered, and I don't ask for seconds. You would not find me rummaging around someone's refrigerator or opening cupboards looking for something to eat. I would not interrupt our visit and demand that we go to the store so that I could buy whatever I was craving! So if I know without a doubt that I would not do these things in these circumstances, then I know I do have self control over food, I am just choosing not to use it at home or when I am by myself.

Once I started to look at it this way, it has been much easier to stay on track. I simply picture myself in these other scenarios and it helps me to have more confidence in my daily life, knowing that I CAN control myself. Hope this concept helps some of you, it has made a world of difference to me!

[MJ7910]

You are so right! When I visit others I usually just take three meals as presented to me! Its easy because there are no extra opportunities.

[TexArk]

This is a good reminder, Marcy. Of course we all have self control. Otherwise no one would let us in the grocery store unattended or invite us over as a guest!

The muscle has to be developed though, and that is why I really think it is best to practice some environmental control (as in get the junk out of sight and out of house if possible) as we are exercising and developing our self control muscle.

Thanks for the post. This is a good thought to pull up when my inner voice says, "I can't help it. I have no self control."

[EmilyGF]

That is a great point! Thanks for bringing it up.

Emily

[Amy3010]

This is great, Marcy, thanks for sharing!

[Jonas Jonasson]

You would not find me rummaging around someone's refrigerator or opening cupboards looking for something to eat.

But I would love to see the faces if I did that

Is this also the key to why we do it/used to do it? Loneliness? Boredom? Not being held accountable?

[jojo2010]

So true,I will start pretending I'm at my in-laws!

[ZippaDee]

I read this last night and have been thinking about it. It's like an "ah ha" moment for me. So true!! I've been at this for a few years. I work full time in the school system. My trouble times are when I am not working. Summer, Christmas vacation. I have been having trouble SINCE Christmas break. I do fine during the day while I am at work. 3:00 hits I come home from work and trouble hits. IF I would continue to work until supper time I would be fine. I know that. I can even have sweets on my desk from my students and I leave them be UNTIL I get home! I'm going to keep this in mind and ponder it a bit more Thanks!

[wosnes]

it's easier not to snack (or have seconds or sweets) when you're in place where that's not the habit. It doesn't matter if it's because of scarcity or custom. If no one else is doing it, you don't do it.

This is from The Omnivore's Dilemma:

But the soda makers don't deserve credit for the invention of supersizing. That distinction belongs to a man named David Wallerstein. Until his death in 1993, Wallerstein served on the board of directors at McDonald's, but in the fifties and sixties he worked for a chain of movie theaters in Texas, where he labored to expand sales of soda and popcorn -- the high-markup items that theaters depend on for their profitability. As the story is told in John Love's official history of McDonald's, Wallerstein tried everything he could think of to goose up sales -- two-for-one deals, matinee specials -- but found he simply could not induce customers to buy more than one soda and one bag of popcorn. He thought he knew why: Going for seconds makes people feel piggish.

Wallerstein discovered that people would spring for more popcorn and soda -- a lot more -- as ling as it came in a single gigantic serving. Thus was born the two-quart bucket of popcorn, the sixty-four-ounce Big Gulp, and, in time, the Big Mac and jumbo fries, though Ray Kroc himself took some convincing. In 1968 Wallerstein went to work for McDonald's, but try as he might, he couldn't convince Kroc, the company's founder, of supersizing's magic powers.

"If people want more fries," Kroc told him, "they can buy two bags." Wallerstein patiently explained that McDonald's customers did want more, but they were reluctant to buy a second bag. "They don't want to look like gluttons."

Kroc remained skeptical, so Wallerstein went looking for proof. He began staking out McDonald's outlets in and around Chicago, observing how people ate. He saw customers noisily draining their sodas, and digging infinitesimal bits and salt and burnt spud out of their little bags of French fries. After Wallerstein presented his findings, Kroc relented and approved supersized portions, and the dramatic spike in sales confirmed the marketer's hunch. Depp cultural taboos against gluttony -- one of the seven deadly sins, after all -- had been holding us back. Wallerstein's dubious achievement was to devise the dietary equivalent of a papal dispensation: Supersize it! He had discovered the secret to expanding the (supposedly) fixed human stomach.

One might think that people would stop eating and drinking these gargantuan portions as soon as they felt full, but it turns out hunger doesn't work that way. Researchers have found that people (and animals) presented with large portions will eat up to 30 percent more than they would otherwise. Human appetite, it turns out, is surprisingly elastic, which makes excellent evolutionary sense: It behooved our hunter-gatherer ancestors to feast when the opportunity presented itself, allowing them to build up reserves of fat against future famine. Obesity researchers call this trait the "thrifty gene." And while the gene represents a useful adaptation in an environment of food scarcity and unpredictability, it's a disaster in an environment of fast-food abundance, when the opportunity to feast presents itself 24/7. Our bodies are storing reserves of fat against a famine that never comes.

I think part of the key to why we do it (consume huge portions, eat 24/7, rummage in cupboards, etc.) is that it's become acceptable to do it.

[Nicest of the Damned]

When you're eating with other people, or in restaurants, do you take food off of other people's plates? In the grocery store, do you eat the food you see? If you don't do those things, you are capable of being around food but exercising self-control. You learned not to do those things- a baby will try to eat food off other people's plates (or at least Nicest Baby, six months old, will try to get her hand in other people's plates). You can learn the No S habits the same way. It will take time, just like it takes time to teach a toddler table manners.

[oolala53]

Being with other people can fill a "space" for me, so that I actually get full faster when I'm with them. I also used to be ashamed of eating a lot in front of others. Nowadays, I work on being willing to eat as much as I really want in company. Often, if I want more, it would only make me feel too full anyway.