Discouraged

No Snacks, no sweets, no seconds. Except on Days that start with S. Too simple for you? Simple is why it works. Look here for questions, introductions, support, success stories.

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tlingit
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 11:49 pm

Discouraged

Post by tlingit » Mon Apr 15, 2013 4:10 pm

Hi guys, I'm here for a little encouragement today. I've been doing no s since January. Mostly green days, not too crazy on the weekends. Not much excercise. So, went to pay taxes, and the first words out of my accountant's mouth "oh, you've gained so much weight, what happened to you?" And so on. She had been drinking red wine, at 1:30 so filters were down, but still, I'm so discouraged. How do I say, I dieted for a year, and gained.

I don't know if I've lost anything. My clothes fit about the same, maybe a little looser. Part of it, is that I've just decided after a lifetime of weight obsession, that I'm done. No scales, no calorie or carb counting, no hcg diet (yes, I did that twice, but the weight came right back). Still, I just feel sad this morning. It's been almost four months, and nothing really significant. My meals are pretty light, typically yogurt and almonds for breakfast, a sandwich and fruit for lunch, dinner is whatever I cook for the family. Always a nice salad and veggies. S days are not too extreme, instead of meals, yesterday I grazed through the day, had a cookie and a bowl of ice cream.

I gave myself a year to do no s, but today I'm just discouraged. Anyone else who it took a while to kick in?

finallyfull
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:10 pm

Post by finallyfull » Mon Apr 15, 2013 4:17 pm

I think discouragement is to be expected in all things -- don't let it freak you out!! I believe you said your clothes might be a bit looser? That's something very encouraging! (Think of putting them on and finding them tighter -- that leads to huge discouragement, and yet why don't we feel a similar level of emotion when they are a little looser?)

I think less than four months is too soon for some of us to measure. You sound like you are eating pleasurably yet sensibly. Time and practice will help you know if you are on the right track, but time means lots of time. Some people here took a few years to see big results, and yet those results seem permanent!

I think it's important to remember that sensible eating is in and of itself a very good thing. It's also very helpful for me to remember that when I'm off No S, I tend to see my weight creep UP even though I'm usually trying all the time to "cut back." I hate that!

leafy_greens
Posts: 426
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2010 8:18 pm

Post by leafy_greens » Mon Apr 15, 2013 7:18 pm

Weight loss on No S is slow. I have seen NoS'ers talk about losing 10-20 lbs in a year. If you have 10-20 to lose and haven't lost in a year, some may suggest that you start tweaking your plates to be a little bit smaller. But don't give up on No S all together.

Might I also suggest that if you have learned through No S to be less obsessed with food, perhaps that is a great bonus in itself. Remember the positive.

Sorry that your accountant made such a nasty comment. Some people are just mean. If you have not gained weight, then you have the right to tell her that. Either way it's none of her business.

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Blithe Morning
Posts: 1220
Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:56 pm
Location: South Dakota

Post by Blithe Morning » Mon Apr 15, 2013 8:33 pm

It's not you. It's her. If you can't tell if you have gained weight chances are you haven't. I've been sloppy with the rules and believe me, I know I've gained. I honestly doubt you "have gained so much weight." P

Drinking during business hours is indicative of a more serious problem than being rude. If she's your CPA, you need to find a different one. If she's drinking to the point where she is insulting customers that is a huge red flag to me. Huge.

tlingit
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 11:49 pm

Discouraged

Post by tlingit » Mon Apr 15, 2013 8:47 pm

I don't think there was an meanness behind her comment. It just sort of leaped out. Yes, I am worried about her drinking. We have known her for many years, and I know she has some major stress in her life. On a practical level, I checked the numbers pretty carefully.

I forget sometimes how important our words are, one or two sentences can bruise or heal.

wosnes
Posts: 4168
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2006 3:38 pm
Location: Indianapolis, IN, USA

Post by wosnes » Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:20 pm

Somewhere recently I read that if you have a history of not only losing and gaining weight, but also going on and off diets, your body doesn't know what to expect so stops responding. It takes a while for your body to adjust.

I don't know how much you have to lose or how old you are, but the less you have to lose and the older you are, the longer it often takes to begin to see results.

Just hang in there....
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."

Healthiermum
Posts: 68
Joined: Tue Apr 09, 2013 9:58 pm

Post by Healthiermum » Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:25 pm

I would not give up as it seems this system is working for you and has stopped you obsessing about food which is a great thing. Why don't you weigh yourself and see the numbers for yourself. You may be stressing that you have put weight on when in fact you have lost and then you are putting yourself in the wrong frame of mind for nothing. If your clothes are fitting a little looser then more then likely you have lost some weight. Whatever you do please don't give up

Eeyore
Posts: 75
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2013 11:18 am

Post by Eeyore » Tue Apr 16, 2013 1:42 am

Would you be discouraged if your CPA had not made that comment?

How have you been feeling these past 4 months?

Don't let her comment affect your successes.

oolala53
Posts: 10059
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Tue Apr 16, 2013 7:23 am

Hang in there. You might want to get a little exercise in. A bit of walking and a few minutes of something brisk regularly can leave you feeling peppier and sometimes that will make a difference. You're really pretty much living decently, so hold your head high.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

tlingit
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 11:49 pm

Discouraged

Post by tlingit » Tue Apr 16, 2013 8:43 pm

Thanks all. I feel much better and found your thoughts and insight to be very helpful. When I started this, I said I would give myself a year on this system for moderation. I intend to stick to that, and it's just a bonus that there is a lovely community of kind people to share the journey with. Each of your comments were useful, and I'm so glad I posted. Thank you!

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gratefuldeb67
Posts: 6256
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:26 pm
Location: Great Neck, NY

Post by gratefuldeb67 » Thu Apr 25, 2013 12:47 pm

wow!! i cannot believe how rude and mindless it was of them to say that to you... totally inappropriate and aggressive on her/his (?) part...
i say get another accountant!!
don't worry, you just keep at it and don't get discouraged... i would be so hurt if someone said that to me, i feel like giving you a big hug!!
let their words fade away and don't think about it...
you just take care of you and keep positive!!
There is no Wisdom greater than Kindness

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gratefuldeb67
Posts: 6256
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:26 pm
Location: Great Neck, NY

Post by gratefuldeb67 » Thu Apr 25, 2013 12:48 pm

Blithe Morning wrote: Drinking during business hours is indicative of a more serious problem than being rude. If she's your CPA, you need to find a different one. If she's drinking to the point where she is insulting customers that is a huge red flag to me. Huge.
totally agree...
There is no Wisdom greater than Kindness

tlingit
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 11:49 pm

Better now

Post by tlingit » Sat Apr 27, 2013 10:13 pm

I'm over it, thanks in large part to the helpful and kind comments on this site. the feedback was really helpful, especially about it taking a while for my body to adjust after a history of extreme diets, and just being patient. i've been doing pretty well on no-s, and just have to accept that my results might be slow. I started Jan 1 and will stick for a year. She's a nice person, but life has been hard for her in ways it has not for me. I quit drinking many years ago due to some hard knocks. I made a simple rule, don't drink. sticking to it has not always been easy, but it allows me to have a good life. That experience really allows me to stick with the simple rules of no s, and hopefully, over time, they will help me resolve my weight problem as well. It took a number of years to build a good life after stopping drinking, so I don't know why I expected quick results from no-s. I want a life time change, not a quick to arrive, quick to leave event.

vmsurbat
Posts: 499
Joined: Sat Jul 19, 2008 6:12 am
Location: Montenegro

Re: Better now

Post by vmsurbat » Sun Apr 28, 2013 6:13 pm

tlingit wrote:I'm over it, thanks in large part to the helpful and kind comments on this site. ..... I want a life time change, not a quick to arrive, quick to leave event.
Bravo for "getting over it," for getting the *right* perspective. Slow and steady with peace and sanity really is a formula for success.

Here's to yours!
Vicki in MNE
7! Yrs. with Vanilla NoS, down 55+lb, happily maintaining and still loving it!

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