A neat perspective on discomfort

[okbyxmas]

I think for most of us the biggest fear of starting No S is that of hunger. Three meals a day sounds great on paper but finishing a meal and knowing there are hours to go before you can eat any more food is scary! Hunger is uncomfortable and I think most of us have forgotten what real hunger feels like. I know I had.

A friend of mine is a zen practitioner (I am not) and linked this article quite a while back on his facebook. I kept remembering it and while reading the General Discussion threads today I recalled it again. I think it's a great read for a lot of us who are early in the shift from our prior eating habits.

Discomfort Zone: How to Master the Universe

Here's a great bit:

Unfortunately, most people avoid discomfort. I mean, they really avoid it — at the first sign of discomfort, they’ll run as fast as possible in the other direction. This is perhaps the biggest limiting factor for most people, and it’s why you can’t change your habits.

Think about this: many people don’t eat vegetables because they don’t like the taste. We’re not talking about soul-wrenching pain here, not Guantanamo torture, but a taste that’s just not something you’re used to. And so they eat what they already like, which is sweets and fried stuff and meats and cheeses and salty things and lots of processed flour.

The simple act of learning to get used to something that tastes different — not really that hard in the grand scheme of life — makes people unhealthy, often overweight.

I know, because this was me for so many years. I became fat and sedentary and a smoker and deeply in debt with lots of clutter and procrastination, because I didn’t like things that were uncomfortable. And so I created a life that was deeply uncomfortable as a result.

The beautiful thing is: I learned that a little discomfort isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it can be something you enjoy, with a little training. When I learned this, I was able to change everything, and am still pretty good at changing because of this one skill.

Now I don't know that I can say I enjoy discomfort but I've been trying to remind myself when I do feel hungry and it's not mealtime yet that hunger is not a frightening sort of discomfort; it's a healthy signal from my body that it's used the food I enjoyed earlier. I do think I was afraid of hunger and that is why I am where I am with my health and weight and self-image.

Anyhow; I think it's a very interesting perspective on the kinds of discomfort we can live with and that it ties in very well with the idea of No S.

[chentegt]

Feeling a little hungry is fine. But there also needs to be a balance. Extremes are not good.

In my experience, feeling lots of hunger (intense, painful) between meals means I'm getting too skinny, weak and fatigued. You kind of have to know how much to eat at your meals to feel full and still respect the rules.

[okbyxmas]

Feeling a little hungry is fine. But there also needs to be a balance. Extremes are not good.

In my experience, feeling lots of hunger (intense, painful) between meals means I'm getting too skinny, weak and fatigued. You kind of have to know how much to eat at your meals to feel full and still respect the rules.

Yes, of course I mean only a little hunger! We should not be eating so little as to have sharp pains or blacking out!

[Kittykat150]

Ok,
I enjoyed this. Thank you. I have past experience with accepting discomfort due to a chronic pain issue. You really can slowly embrace discomfort and change it for the better. It's about leaning into that discomfort with interest instead of avoiding it. Good stuff, meditation.
Kat

[oolala53]

I was involved in several years of Zen practice before NO S and some of the lessons did transfer. Not yet with dealing with clutter and only marginal with my job, but inch by inch. One of my Zen teachers had a recurring problem with environmental pollution (ironically brought on by trying to grow food on what turned out to be a small dump for industrial waste). He would be bedridden, but he said it wasn't terrible pain, just extreme nausea that worsened if he were upright. He would just "examine" the sensations and let them be. Eventually, usually longer than the time between meals for us, they went away. I remembered his example a lot during my first years on No S.

Frankly, given how much people seem to run from everyday discomfort, I'm surprised by the reality shows that deal with difficult situations. I'm surprised they find so many people who are willing to put up with so much! I guess they do it because they think it will all be over, but with food, we think we are going to be tortured over and over no matter what we do right now. To some degree, there's some truth to that. I still have moments of having to monitor myself, so I can't say it's all unconscious now, but it's still certainly piles better than it was, and so worth it. What I was living at the effect of food was definitely more torturous than my eating life now.

I feared the un=hungry desire for food even more than real hunger when I started. That cannot be cured by eating. All I had to do was get past three hours after a meal. That was when I had those feelings the greatest. After that, the feelings are either neutral or real hunger. Much preferable, though even now I avoid having to be truly hungry for more than a couple of hours before a meal. That's usually easy to avoid. One to two hours of real hunger is actually the ideal to me now!

[automatedeating]

I'm too new at this to understand all my motivations, but I have noticed that 2 or 3 hours after a good sized meal I want to eat again. When I examine the feeling, I know I am not actually hungry, I am just craving the pleasure of eating. Sugar craving, boredom, not wanting to feel empty, sad, I'm not sure which of these underlies this feeling. If I can get though this feeling and then realize the next legal meal is approaching...... Then wow, I actually feel hungry and very much enjoy the anticipatory pleasure of the upcoming meal. So in this sense I am leaning into the mild discomfort. Alas, it's the age old story of delaying gratification and enjoying the ultimate pleasure far more when we do finally have it.
Lots of psychology here, fun stuff.

[noni]

I'm too new at this to understand all my motivations, but I have noticed that 2 or 3 hours after a good sized meal I want to eat again.

I have also noticed this. When I have a fasting day (skipping breakfast and lunch), I don't long to eat as much as when I have a normal (3-meals) day.

[harpista]

Amazing. Thanks for this one.

[oolala53]

Auto, that is exactly a pattern I noticed even before No S. In fact, my strongest fake hunger came/comes in hours 1-3 after eating. Compulsive eating researchers have found that eating itself can be a "trigger" for more eating. That is another reason No S sounded smart when I came across it.

Crazy that we live in a culture in which we need proof that it's smart not to eat often.