Failures on N-Days - should I still take an S?

[Flor]

I'm nearing the end of my first week of No S and I've already slipped up a couple of times. The first time I was genuinely, ravenously hungry, and had tried to quell it with tea to no avail. So I had a couple crackers with cheese, on a plate, at the table. I don't consider the actual snack to be a failure (as far as I'm aware, No S doesn't entail going hungry) so much as the fact that my lunch must've been insufficient for me to be so hungry.

The second time I had a handful of chocolate. That was less than I usually would have, but of course, N-days are chocolate-free days.

Neither was mindless-eating-with-reckless abandon, but even so I'm looking at a 50% success rate so far, 60% if I make it through today without a failure.

Should I still take S-days this weekend? On the one hand, my failures are still progress from my usual eating habits, and I've clearly been thinking about what I put in my mouth. A lot. On the other hand, I'm worried that taking a couple S-days will reinforce bad habits as it'll end up as a week with a 3/4 split between "proper" N-days and failures/S-days.

[eschano]

Hi Flor,

I think this is the answer you are looking for...
"I say this because when you punish yourself or try to make amends for having messed up, what you're really doing, at a deep psychological level, is saying, "it's OK to fail because I can make up for failure later." You think you're just paying off a debt, but you're also, and more importantly, opening up a line of credit. That line of credit, that idea that you can make up for failure in the future, will make you much more likely to fail. You've lowered the stakes, you've lowered the incentive to succeed.

If, on the other had, you know that you have just one chance to behave correctly, that there is no make up test, you'll take your behavior much more seriously, and you'll have much better odds of succeeding the first and only time around."

From Reinhard's strictness podcast http://everydaysystems.com/podcast/episode.php?id=13

For me it works very well to stick to this rule.

[osoniye]

Dear Flor,
Welcome to the boards.
My advice would be to take and enjoy your regular S days. NoS doesn't involve punishing yourself or making up lost days, either.
Just maybe put some thought into planning your next N week. Make sure you plan big/heavy enough plates of food to keep you satisfied and have a backup drink of milk or something for if you get hungry.
Also think about what your inner dialogue will be when the chocolate calls.
I really say "Enjoy your S weekend!"

[Flor]

Thanks for the link, eschano. That's a very good point; if I use my S-days this weekend to make up for failures during the week, then it will be very easy to start to think that it's not a big deal if I fail during the week as I can just make it up by eating better on the weekend.

Thank you for the welcome, osoniye. I'll definitely spend some time planning my food for next week, especially my lunches (those seem to be the hardest, probably because a PB&J sandwich just won't cut it anymore). I'm thinking soup. Soup and homemade bread. And I'll enjoy all the chocolate I want tomorrow

[r.jean]

Try milk rather than tea next time you are extremely hungry between meals. It will help quash the hunger yet it stays away from solid food. Try to learn to tolerate a little hunger and to recognize serious hunger. I used to permasnack in the evenings and at first I needed an occasional glass of milk at bedtime to get to sleep. I rarely need it now, but every once in awhile I do, especially if I ate supper early for some reason.

PS...I also agree to not make up for failures by skipping S days. I think many of us who have been on No S long enough probably tried and rejected that. :

[oolala53]

Regarding taking your S days, yes, yes, and yes. Your body will never get the rhythm if you don't enforce it.

On the other hand, try to go with the flow of the weekend. If you don't have a lot of eating situations coming up, there's no need to invent them. S days are there to allow for the variance that can happen on them and for social events. If there's nothing specific to allow for, you can plan a few in for good measure. Try to keep your focus on the long run. There are over a hundred days a year for extras. It's a pretty good deal.

Actually, No S does entail going hungry, though it shouldn't happen soon after a meal. I think most long termers are hungry before their meals. My aim is to be hungry about an hour before the next meal, but two hours sometimes happens. Then again, I have sometimes gone two extra hours between meals without much hunger. You learn to ride the wave.

And sometimes, it IS hard. In meal-based slim cultures, sometimes they get hungry and still wait to eat.

Some people allow themselves a very small snack at predictably difficult times at first. Many say they don't need them after a week or two.

[automatedeating]

Take your S days! They provide a much-needed release valve from the strain of building N day habits.

And I would also recommend whole milk rather than tea if you are ravenous.

[Flor]

Hmm, I'll try milk next time. I do put a fair bit of milk in my tea, so it's usually fine for at least mild hunger, but perhaps straight milk would be better.

Actually, No S does entail going hungry, though it shouldn't happen soon after a meal. I think most long termers are hungry before their meals. My aim is to be hungry about an hour before the next meal, but two hours sometimes happens. Then again, I have sometimes gone two extra hours between meals without much hunger. You learn to ride the wave.

You're right, I should feel hungry by mealtime, and I do; I generally don't start preparing dinner until after I get hungry, so if I'm having something like brown rice it's easily an hour before it's ready. But I don't consider that "going hungry" because it's in anticipation of a meal that I'll have in a reasonable period of time, and it's only moderate hunger. On the other hand, when I had a snack I felt ready to eat a full meal and it was hours before dinnertime, so depriving myself of any food whatsoever then would have made me grouchy and miserable :p

However, I do think I know where I went wrong (I had a good meal, but it was in a smaller bowl as the big ones were in the dishwasher so I think it was simply not enough) so hopefully I shouldn't run into the same problem in future.

[wosnes]

S days aren't a reward for 5 successful N days. They are part of the habit.

[MamieTamar]

The beauty of S days is precisely that, that they are part of the program, they aren't called "cheat days". It's not cheating, it's following your program (which should never be called a diet). Cheat on legitimate S days, and soon you'll also cheat on legitimate N days.

[CM2014]

S days aren't a reward for 5 successful N days. They are part of the habit.

This is good to keep in mind.